幻灭（2018）

走上来 朋友们
Step right up, folks.
了解蒸汽的过去、现在和未来
Take a trip through the past, present and future of steam.
踏上兼具教育意义 和补水保湿功能的旅程
It's as educational as it is moisturizing.
她在那!
There she is!
快!她要比我们先学习 关于蒸汽的知识了
Quick! She'll learn about steam before we do.
蒸汽!来自现代生活 温暖、湿润的触摸
Steam! The warm, damp touch of modern life.
“但蒸汽究竟从何而来？” 你问道
"But where does steam come from?" you ask,
傻乎乎地期待能在游乐场学到东西
with the stupidity of someone expecting to learn at a carnival.
我们的旅程由此开始
Our journey begins here,
在地底下 地热房♥的热量 煮沸含水层的水分 产生巨大的压力
underground, where geothermal chambers boil aquifers to enormous pressures.
什么鬼？
What the hell?
早期的桑拿人利用这一自然资源 放松身心 享受蒸气浴
Early Sauna Man used this natural resource to relax and maybe take a shvitz.
有一天 一位不受欢迎的独行僧 路过一处露出地表的岩层附近
Then one day, a lonely monk nobody liked was walking near an outcropping.
找到他的遗体时
When his remains were found,
人们发现他的袍子特别干净
people discovered his robes were perfectly clean
再也没有了奇怪的稀饭味
and no longer smelled like weird porridge.
为了充分利用这种能量 人们围绕着蒸汽孔新建了一座村庄
A new village was built around these steam holes to harness this power,
名为“死亡僧侣堡”
a village called Dead Monksburg.
也就是如今的蒸汽国
Now called Steamland.
感谢蒸汽和伟大的艾尔瓦甘德森
Thanks to steam and the great Alva Gunderson,
让一切皆有可能
anything is possible.
希望大家旅途…愉快？
We hope you had a… blast?
这么多人 我不可能找到她
There's no way I'll see her in this crowd.
我们到高处去吧？去那个大轮子上
What if we get up high on that wheelie thing?
摩天轮？行啊
The UpAGoDown Wheel? Sure.
蒂亚 你打算留在这儿吗？
Tia, do you think you might stay here?
不是说留在这个摩天轮上 那简直生不如死
Not on this UpAGoDown Wheel, that would be a living hell.
我说的是蒸汽国
I mean in Steamland.
你一直对我坦诚相待 毫无保留
You've been so honest with me. Totally honest.
可我却对你有所隐瞒
Well, I haven't been.
戈迪 我不是什么农场来的纯真少女
Gordy, I'm not some innocent girl from a farmy place.
我是来自远方一个魔法国度的公主
I'm a princess from a magical land far away.
仙子、城♥堡♥、恶魔 什么都有
Fairies, castles, demons, the works.
天啊 我听起来像个疯子
Man, I sound like a nutjob.
而那个我在找的女人
And that woman I'm looking for?
曾是我们的大祭司 她会用最刻薄的方式说“闭嘴”
She's an archdruidess and she says "shaddup" in the meanest way possible.
那我猜你应该 想回去过童话般的生活吧
Oh! I guess you'll want to get back to your fairytale life, then.
我的生活不太如意
My life isn't so great.
其实我觉得你这样的生活更自♥由♥
I mean, I actually think yours is more free.
说真的 你只需要按时上班、干活
Seriously, all you have to do is report to work, do your job,
然后回家 不会有人试图谋杀你
go home, and no one tries to kill you.
是她!就在我们前面!
It's her! Right in front of us!
或者后面？我分不清了 这是个圆轮
Or behind? I don't know, it's a circle.
快点啊!
Come on, come on!
不!又来了!
No! …happening again!
不!
No, no!
出来啦!
Here we go!
糟糕 我们过不了他这关的
Oh, no, we'll never get past him.
电梯男孩
Elevator Boy.
谁也别想上去!
None shall rise!
我们只是来告诉你 大家都在等你去参加派对
We just came to tell you that everyone was waiting for you at the party.
从来没人会想我 才不是呢
No one ever misses me. That's not true.
扶梯女孩想着你呢 还问你到底会不会参加
Escalator Girl misses you. She asked if you were coming.
真的吗？扶梯女孩问起我了？
Really? Escalator Girl asked about me?
她说她很崇拜你能从最底层
She said she really admires how you started from the bottom
一路直升到最顶层
and then went straight to the top.
然后又回到底层
And then back to the bottom.
她人已经过来了 想亲口对你说
And she came here to tell you that herself.
不会吧 她来了？ 就在这边
No way. She's here? Right this way.
快进去!
Go!
这就是你相信爱情的结果
Ha! That's what you get for believing in love.
艾尔瓦甘德森
创始人
你终于到了 来喝一杯吧 蒂亚
Ah! At last. Come, have a drink, Tia.
要不我叫你“小碧”？
Or should I say "Bean"?
艾尔瓦甘德森？
Alva Gunderson?
要不你叫我“戈迪”？
Or should you say "Gordy"?
戈迪？
Gordy?
还是说该叫我“艾尔瓦”？
Or should you say "Alva"?
别再给自己贴假胡子了!
Stop moustaching yourself!
戈迪？
Gordy?
天啊 你是爬楼梯上来的吗？
Oh, my God. Did you use the stairs?
货运电梯 我最爱用的招数之一
Freight elevator. It's one of my favorite tricks.
啤酒？ 不要!
Beer? No!
好吧
Yeah.
一个国王!
A king!
要把他扔进底舱 跟其他国王一起吗？
You want we should put him in the bilge with the other kings?
不必了 罗伊
Is okay, Roy.
我们把他送回皇宫 好吧
We'll return him to throne room. All right.
乌娜!你又是我的王后了
Oona! You're my queen again.
不 索格宝贝 我已经嫁给大海了
No, Zøggy, I am married to ocean now.
但或许我可以贴身照顾你 直到你好起来
But maybe I stick around until you are better?
是啊 你总是很擅长贴在各种东西上
Yeah, you were always good at stickin' to things.
我的小猫咪呢？你看见他了吗？
Hey, where's my kitty cat? Have you seen him?
我有好多关于猫的问题
I got a lot of cat questions.
要不是我沉迷喝比奇的苦酒
If I didn't love Bitsy's Bitterbeer so much,
我早把这罐子扔你脸上了
I'd throw this can right at your face.
但话说回来 我还是没闹明白你到底是谁
Then again, I don't know who the hell's face I'd be throwing it at.
是我 小碧 我是艾尔瓦 这才是我的真面目
At my face, Bean. I'm Alva. This is the real me.
戈迪斯杜森只是 为了接近你而做的伪装
Gordy Stewson was simply my cover to meet you.
我必须试探一下你是怎样的人
I had to test you to see what you were like.
所以当你做自己的时候 就会贴上一撮假胡子？
So you wear a fake moustache when you're yourself?
我以前搞过一个莫名其妙的恶作剧
A confusing prank I pulled once.
很遗憾 从那以后我不得不贴着胡子
Sadly, I've had to commit to the moustache ever since.
还要啤酒吗？给公主来六罐啤酒
More beer? Sixpack for the princess.
我好像认识你
Hey, don't I know you?
你认错人了
Nope.
小碧 我一直很想见你
Bean, I wanted to meet you so much.
我派了弟弟斯盖博去梦之国 但之后就再也没有他的消息了
I sent my brother Skybert to Dreamland, but I never heard back from him.
希望他没事 是啊 他一定没事
I hope he's okay. Yeah, I'm sure he is.
那大祭司呢？她是你指使的吗？
And the Archdruidess? How does she figure in all this?
是我让她引你过来的 我还给了她一个费用报销账户
I had the Archdruidess lure you here. I even gave her an expense account,
按道理她应该留着发♥票♥的
which she was supposed to keep receipts for.
也就是说你认同她的所作所为喽？ 她活埋了我爸
Then you approved of what she did? She buried my father alive.
还想开枪打死我! 她确实射中了特比希
And she tried to shoot me! And she did shoot Turbish.
慢着 她做了什么？我不知情
Wait, she did what? I had no idea.
贝蒂 立刻传大祭司进来见我
Betty, send in the Archdruidess immediately.
你要相信我 我从来没有同意…
You must believe me. I'd never approve
同意什么？
Approve what?
冷静 公主 王权在蒸汽国毫无意义
Calm down, Princess. Royalty is meaningless in Steamland.
有智慧的才是王者 不是吗 小甜甜？
Intellect is king. Isn't that right, sugarlobes?
你真的活埋了她爸 还朝她开枪吗？
Did you really bury her father alive and shoot at her?
还有砍头 别忘了砍头的事
There was a beheading, too. Don't forget the beheading.
我只是叫你把她引过来 而我已经做到了
You were simply told to lure her here. And I delivered what you wanted.
现在该轮到你满足我了吧？
Now how's about givin' mama a little of what she wants, huh?
我没让你做那些杀人放火的事情
I did not ask you to leave a trail of death and destruction.
你被开除了 保安!
You're fired. Security!
把她带走
Drag her away.
我对你一片真心 你却无情践踏!
I gave you my heart and you stomped on it!
我诅咒你!还有你!我打死你们!
Curse you! And you, too! A knuckle sandwich to all of you!
我知道你不相信我 但无论如何 也别相信他
I know you don't trust me, but whatever you do, do not trust him.
既然我不相信你 凭什么相信你说的谁可不可信？
If I can't trust you, how can I trust you to tell me who to trust?
闭嘴
Shaddup.
不!
No! No!
不要进这扇小门!
Not the little door!
就这样 在丛林中♥央♥
And there, in the middle of the jungle,
他打了我的屁屁
he slapped me on the bumbum.
朋友们 我经历了一段毕生难忘之旅
Chums, I've had the journey of a lifetime.
在冰天雪地的北方 我痛失十名手下
I lost ten good men to the frozen north,
但同时也摆脱了五个混♥蛋♥ 所以扯平了
but I also lost five jerks, so it balanced out.
安静!你打断我们的新成员 讲他的奇幻冒险故事了
Shush! You're interrupting the most wondrous tale from our newest member.