幻灭（2018）

要想追上大祭司
If we're gonna catch up to the Archdruidess,
必须出动最快的马
we'll need our best horses.
或者一些速度很快的奶牛
Or some really fast cows.
哦不 爸爸!
Oh, no. Dad!
孩子 我很乐意让你成为我的前夫
Kiddo, I would love to have you as one of my exes,
但我觉得你还是把我 当成你放荡的外婆比较好
but I think it's best if you think of me as your slutty grandma.
荣幸之至
I would be honored.
好了 大伙儿!都让开 没见过大喊大叫的国王吗？
Okay, everybody! Move along. Haven't you seen a honking king before?
艾弗 别乱跑 我们再过30秒就要走了
Elfo, don't wander off. We're outta here in 30 seconds.
嘿!婚礼取消了
Hey! Wedding's cancelled.
接待室在那边 跑得越快 能抢到的啤酒就越多
The reception's that way. The faster you run, the more beer you get.
爸爸 你不会有事的吧？我得走了
Dad, are you gonna be okay? I gotta go now.
我有潘达加斯照顾 也许我们会去打保龄球
I got Pendergast to look after me. Maybe we'll go bowling.
很遗憾事情变成这样 但谢谢你救了我
Hey, sorry for how things turned out. But thanks for saving me.
不客气 就当作 我下令处死你的补偿吧
It's the least I could do after killing you.
看 一只小黑猫 都跟你说了我不是猫!
Ooh! Lookie, a black kittycat. I told you, I'm not a cat!
路西 我希望你留下来照看我爸爸
Luci, I need you to stay here and take care of my dad.
什么？不要!没门 休想
What? No! No way in hell. I'm not doin' it.
休想逼我就范 不可能
You can't make me. Not a chance.
想都别想
Don't even think about it.
好吧
Ah, okay, fine.
麻烦帮我擦一下口水好吗？
Would you mind wiping off my drool?
看我找到了什么!
Look what I found!
什么？可我还想… 你想错了
What? But I thought… You thought wrong.
魔法森林入口
救命!
我被变成警告牌了
你搞什么!
What are you doin', you?
在那等着!我们很快回来!
Wait there! We'll be right back!
我再也不骑马了! 这才是高端奢华的享受
I'm never riding a horse again! This is the height of luxury.
是呀!
Yeah!
我们没走错路吧？
Are we on the right path?
再过几秒… 什么？
Seconds from now What?
我说 “再过几秒 向右急转弯!”
I said, "Seconds from now, take a sharp right turn!"
你没事吧 艾弗？
Are you okay, Elfo?
没事 但我以后都别想要孩子了
Yes, but I can never have children now.
嘿!
Hey!
什么情况？一只大猩猩和一个侏儒？
What is that? A large ape and an unfinished man?
是蒂亚碧妮公主和一个侏儒
Oh! Princess Tiabeanie and an unfinished man.
真是惊喜啊!
What a surprise!
麦尔弗斯大爷!笑笑马! 麦尔弗斯 也许你能帮我们…
Old man Malfus! Laughing Horse! Malfus, maybe you can help us
墙上写着 你们必须跟这匹马一起上路
It is written on the walls that you must take this horse on your journey.
是你临时写上去的
You're writing that right now.
总之你把这蠢马带走就是了
Just take the dingdang horse.
还有它的色情书
And all his horse porn.
来吧 马儿 出发 谢了 麦尔弗斯!
Come on, boy, giddy up. Thanks, Malfus!
等一下!你们拿错盒子了!
Wait! You took the wrong box!
马蹄与嘴
热辣小♥穴♥
你在干什么？专心点!
Elfo, what are you doing? Pay attention!
对不起 小碧 我在读一本很有趣的图书
Oh, sorry, Bean. I'm reading a really interesting pictorial.
那个老大爷有一根糖果拐杖!
And the old man had a candy cane!
拜托 小碧!这很好笑啊!
Come on, Bean! This is gold!
笑笑马 你别给他捧场了
Laughing Horse, you're just encouraging him.
好吧 三只精灵走进一间糖果吧…
Okay, okay, three elves walk into a candy bar
连我说背景设定它都会笑!
He even laughs at the setups!
这是什么怪雾？
What kind of weird fog is this?
我的帽子在往下坠 鞋尖都快展平了
My hat is drooping and my shoes are uncurling.
天啊 小碧 我知道怎么回事了
Oh, my God, Bean, I know what happened.
我们掉下悬崖时就已经摔死了 这里是天堂!
We died when we fell off the cliff. And now we're in Heaven!
是比天堂还要好的地方 艾弗
Better than Heaven, Elfo.
欢迎来到蒸汽国
Welcome to Steamland.
笑笑马太引人注目了
Laughing Horse stands out like a laughing thumb.
得把它留在一个安全的地方
We gotta leave him somewhere safe.
我们不在时 顺便赚点钱吧!
Make us some money while we're away!
快跑 小马马!
Giddy up, horsey!
怎么有个花♥园♥小矮人？ 这位夫人 你孩子是个怪胎!
Hey, lady, your kid's a freak!
得把你的尖耳朵藏起来
We gotta cover up those pointy ears, dude.
这里的人好像没见过精灵
I don't think they get lots of elves around here.
他们好像也没见过 长着老鼠嘴巴的龅牙妹
I don't think they get lots of giant mouse teeth, either.
对不起 我身上潮湿 心情不好 瞧我的鞋都成什么样了
Sorry, I'm a little damp and cranky. Look at my shoes.
热气腾腾蒸气浴 24小时开放
欢迎 先生们
Welcome, gentlemen.
她不是男人 是个男人婆
She's not a man, she's a manly lady.
他也不是个男人
He's not a man, either.
你们是什么我都无所谓
Don't matter to me which what way you are.
反正里面伸手不见五指
It's pitch black in there, anyway.
去吧 小兄弟
Go on, little buddy.
出来的时候 千万别拿错别人的衣服 好吗？
And be sure not to grab someone else's clothes on the way out, okay?
去吧!
Go!
好多钱包呀 这里真是民风淳朴
Oh, look at all these wallets. People are so trusting.
嘿 小碧!
Hey, Bean!
怎么这么久才回来？
What took you so long?
难以置信 快 趁他们还没发飙!
Unbelievable. Quick, before they get angry!
别走 小偷!
Stop, thief!
我穿这身怎么样？ 像个有钱的大肚子火炉
How do I look? Like a wealthy potbelly stove.
是吗？
You think?
这里有很多地方会移♥动♥ 跟紧我
This place has a lot of moving parts, so stick close.
我牵着你的手吧？
Can I hold your hand?
没必要
That won't be necessary.
你要去哪儿？
Where are you going?
某个地方吧 艾弗!
Away, it seems. Elfo!
不好意思!抱歉!闪开! 嘿!
Excuse me! Pardon me! One side!
闭嘴!
Shaddup!
你撞到我的腿了 女人! 你好歹打个手势吧!
Those were my legs, lady! You could've used a hand signal!
手势？
Hand signal, eh?
去追她 小碧!
Go after her, Bean!
我现在偷钱包上瘾了
I'm addicted to stealing wallets now.
好耶!
Yes!
魔法公主：系列奇幻故事
黛安德拉公主 我们必须归还璀璨宝珠
Princess Diandra, we must return the Orb of Splendor
以免它导致城邦覆灭
lest it destroy the kingdom.
得了吧!谁会那样说话啊？
Come on! Who talks that way?
但宝珠同时也赋予了 我的精灵同伴赞多罗生命
But the Orb also gives life to Zandoro, my elf companion.
你好 我是赞多罗
Hello, it is I, Zandoro.
什么？那是精灵？
Uh, what? That's an elf?
嘿 安静点行吗？
Hey, pipe down, will ya?
我要是想找人给我添堵 就会跟家人待在一起了!闭嘴!
If I wanted to be annoyed, I'd be home with my family! Shush!
不 我偏不闭嘴!
Uh, no, actually, I won't shush!
而且挥剑时 不一定都会发出“唰唰”的声音
Ugh, and swords don't make a shling sound every time you wave 'em around.
真是偷懒的声效设计
That's just lazy sound design.
又来了
Ugh, there it goes again.
唰唰!
Shling, shling, shling!
不停“唰唰”个没完
It's a freakin' shling party. Ugh.
安静
Quiet.
现在又开始跳舞了？
Now they're dancing?
为什么非要加入这种 对情节推动毫无帮助的剧情啊？
Why do they have scenes like this that don't move the story along?
请自重 伙计!这样是不行的!
Ow! Have some dignity, man! This won't do!
我帮你一脚
Here.
非常感谢 不客气
Oh! Thank you so much. None of it, sir.
乐意为游审盟成员效劳
Anything for a fellow LGS member, whatwhat.
什么盟？
A whatwhat what?
当然是游历者审核联盟了
League of Gallivanting Scrutinators, of course.
探险家们的俱乐部
The explorers' club.
什么？
What?
来吧 再过五分钟 就没有早餐鸡尾酒了
Now come along. They stop serving breakfast cocktails in five minutes.
您的威士忌酸酒 先生
Your whisky sour, sir.
好喝
Mmm, yum.
下回直接把酸的部分拿过来就好
Next time just bring the sour part.
帮我减负了 谢谢
Less to carry, thank you.
小碧还以为我不能照顾好自己
And Bean thought I couldn't take care of myself.
于是 我被困在了山顶
There I was, trapped on the mountain peak.
一面是凶残的雪怪 另一面是狰狞的大脚怪
On one side, a ferocious yeti. On the other side, a ferocious bigfoot.
大脚怪和雪怪？