十字剑

瘟疫威胁级别
那两个死于69性♥交♥体♥位♥
Those two died in a 69 position. Ho ho ho!
图莉璞 你看
Tulip, look.
还真好笑
Ooh! That's hilarious.
闪烁石英 为什么今年的瘟疫这么严重
Blinkerquartz, why is the plague so much worse this year?
可能是上周从天而降的
Perhaps it was those mysterious bodies
那些神秘尸体
that fell from the sky last week.
我必须为此道歉多少次
How many times must I apologize for that?
-一次 一次就好 -绝不
- Once. Once would be good. - Never.
梅里曼国王
King Merriman!
死亡天使
Angel of Death!
侍卫 报告怎么说 有多严重
Squire, what's the report? How bad is it?
很多人的美好生活
So many people who've had the best years of their lives
就此画下句点 这些人从没有机会去爱
ripped away from them, who never got the chance to love,
去组建家庭
to start a family.
至少城♥堡♥里没有瘟疫
At least the plague's not inside the castle.
这么说的话 大家收拾一下东西
On that note, everyone pack your shit.
我们要出城
We're getting the hell out of town.
十字剑
第一季 第八集
布洛斯 看到那个犯重婚罪的人就死在我面前
You know, Broth, seeing that bigamist die right in front of me
真的让我若有所思
really made me think.
他有两个家庭 而我甚至从没爱上过谁
He has two families, and I've never even been in love.
那是因为你害怕冒险 老兄
It's because you're afraid to take risks, man.
你得豁出去 无所畏惧
Throw caution to the wind, no fear.
你说得对
Huh. You're right.
我该邀请斯隆去侍卫舞会
I should ask Sloane to the Squire Formal.
什么 不是 呕
What? No. Eww!
我是说我们该从城♥堡♥跳进篝火
I meant we should jump off a castle into a bonfire.
我和你 老兄 特技兄弟
You and me, man: Stunt Budz!
特技兄弟
她在那
Hey, there she is now.
你看斯隆挑的桶
Check out the pails on Sloane.
你好 斯隆
Hi, Sloane.
你好 帕特里克 你好 布洛斯
Hi, Patrick. Hi, Broth.
好啊
'Sup?
我将有段时间不能看见你了
Uh... I won't see you for a while.
我要和皇室出城
I'm headed out of town with the royal family
直到瘟疫平息
until the plague dies down.
真酷
That's cool.
是啊 是啊 所以我想问你
Yeah. Yeah, so, I, uh, wanted to ask you, um, uh...
你喜不喜欢
Uh, if you... like...
提桶
pails?
不 我不喜欢提桶
Ah! No, I do not like pails.
好吧
Oh. Okay.
这和我想的一样糟吗
Was that as bad as I think it was?
那种调情就等同于
That was the flirting equivalent
被纸割伤我晒伤的老二
of a papercut on my sunburned dick.
永远不要在海滩上算账
Never do your taxes at the beach.
其他国王已拒绝收留我们
The other kings have refused to take us in.
你毁了放松会他们很生气
They're mad that you ruined Chill Society.
我的天 还生气吗
Jeez. Still?
是啊 国王们喜欢记仇 你懂的
Yes, kings love to hold a grudge. You know.
为此我永远不会原谅他们
I'll never forgive them for that.
我们现在该去哪
Where are we supposed to go now?
至少我父母很安全
Well, at least my parents are safe.
他们在过他们的年度滑雪之旅
They're on their annual ski trip.
不带你吗 你也因为用头把活动总监顶进泳池
Without you? Did you get banned from family vacation
而被禁止参与家庭度假吗
for head-butting the activities director into a pool, too?
不 不 我也没有
No. No, me-me either.
总之 瘟疫无法在山里存活 太冷了
Anyway, the plague can't survive up in the mountains, it's too cold.
帕特里克 告诉马夫怎么去那个小屋
Patrick, tell the driver how to get to that lodge.
闪烁石英 包好我的滑雪板
Blinkerquartz, pack my skis.
-妈呀 不会吧 -可以
- Oh, God, no. - Hell, yeah!
特技兄弟 冬季版
Stunt Budz, Winter Edition!
开花 把这当作家庭度假
Now, Blossom, think of it as a family vacation.
很好玩
It's fun!
难以置信你不让我上学
I can't believe you pulled me out of school.
我们已假装塔图姆校长好几周了
We've been catfishing Principal Tatum for weeks
她就要觉得她前夫希望她回来
and she's so close to thinking her ex-husband wants her back.
我希望你像费心捉弄一个伤心成年女性一样
I wish you put as much effort into your grades
用功考个好分数
as you do gaslighting sad adult women.
我是跟你学的
I learned it from watching you!
回来 亲爱的 你会冻死的
Come back, darling. You'll freeze to death!
我宁愿死也不想和你困在山顶
I'd rather die than be stuck on top of the mountain with you!
别担心 殿下 我去找她
Don't worry, Your Majesty, I'll go get her.
安静 雪崩区
开花公主
Princess Blossom.
我他妈的能看懂
I can fucking read.
求你了 回到你父母身边
Please, go back to your parents.
不要 我妈是个大泼妇
No. My mom is a huge bitch.
好吧 那就别回去
Fine. Don't go back, then.
我知道什么是他妈的逆反心理 帕特里克
I know what reverse fucking psychology is, Patrick.
该死 我们走
Goddamn it, let's go.
那来抓我啊 你个小怂逼贱♥人♥
Come and get me, then, you little pussy-assed bitch.
别这样 回来
Come on, get back here.
拜托 别闹了
Please! Stop it!
去你的 帕特里克
Fuck you, Patrickkkkk!
我去
Oh, shit.
妈呀 我们走不走
God, are we going or what?
有人看见帕特里克吗
Has anyone seen Patrick?
他在拉肚子 说我们该继续走 不用带他
Eh, he's got the squirts and said we should go on without him.
对 口气像帕特里克 很无私
Yeah. Sounds like Patrick. So selfless.
格伦 我爱死我们的年度滑雪之旅了
Oh, Glenn, I love our annual ski retreat.
我也是 多琳
Me too, Doreen.
来敬新的雪 上等的红酒
Here's to fresh powder, fine wine...
还有免费的口♥交♥
And free mustache rides.
备马
Saddle up!
以国王之名
In the name of the king,
我宣布此滑雪度假屋为派对中心
I declare this ski lodge party central.
-不会吧 又是这个吹牛逼的 -亲爱的 给个机会
- Oh, hell no, not this blowhard. - Now, honey, give it a chance.
会很有意思
This could be fun.
他不该来任何滑雪之旅
He shouldn't take any ski trips
除非他修好我们房♥子前面的大坑洞
until he fixes the big pothole in front of our house.
那天我看见一匹马淹死在里面
I saw a horse drown in it the other day.
妈 我很无聊
Mom, I'm bored!
我可以喝红酒吗
Can I have wine?
不行 去看书
No. Read a book!
操
Fuck!
特技兄弟
Stunt Budz!
特技兄弟
你杀不死我 大雪
Yeah. You can't kill me, snow.
我拒绝死
I refuse to die.
我♥操♥ 我♥操♥ 我♥操♥
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...
我♥操♥ 我♥操♥ 我♥操♥
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...
我♥操♥ 我♥操♥ 我♥操♥
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...
你们奈何不了我
You can't take a bite out of my ass,
但你们可以舔我的蛋蛋
but you can suck on these balls!
我敢肯定有位漂亮的冰雪公主住在这
I bet a beautiful ice princess lives here.
披萨
她把猫屎放在披萨盒子
And she keeps cat shit in a pizza box?
"诺拉·斯莫尔"
"Norah Small."
看起来像是有人将你的城♥堡♥变成了垃圾场
Looks like somebody turned your castle into a dump.
离我的宝贝远点
Ah, get away from my treasures!
谁会没事烧毁别人的东西
Who just burns other people's stuff?
你就是个变♥态♥
You're a psycho!
你的东西 你是诺拉·斯莫尔
Your stuff? You're Norah Small?
没错 你毁了这个
Yes. You ruined this.
我要怎么记住高中演的《仲夏》
How will I remember if the high school production of "Midsummer"
是否获得了好评
got a good review?
的确得到了好评 你是谁
It did. Ugh! Who are you?
是我妈派你来的吗 因为我好得很
Did my mother send you? 'Cause I'm totally fine.
不 没人派我来 我叫帕特里克
No. No one sent me. My name's Patrick.
求你别吃我