绑定

不 我不相信天堂
Nah, I don't believe in heaven.
-这是我最喜欢的新节目 -再见
- Okay, this is my new favorite show. - Okay, bye!
我像化妆了吗
Okay, does it look like I'm wearing makeup?
不像
No.
你化妆了吗
Are you wearing makeup?
什么
What?
什么 没有
What? No.
没有
No!
什么
What?
你不是想喝咖啡吗
I thought you said you wanted to get coffee.
爱你 亲爱的
Love you, hon.
在音乐中很难了解彼此啊
It's just kind of hard to get to know each other over the music.
这么大的噪音
The noise and all this, you know...
还有脱衣舞男
The bulges.
天蝎座
Scorpio!
-好久 -我走了
- It's been a long time-- - I'm gonna go!
为什么
Why?
因为我要喝拿铁
Because I want a latte!
你怎么了
Whoa, what's... what's the problem?
不知道 我没想到你会在约会时
I don't know. I guess I didn't envision a date
摸脱衣舞男
with you groping strippers
还和男人调情
and flirting with anybody with stubble and a pulse.
你是基佬吧
You're gay... right?
也许我是直男吧
Maybe I'm straight, huh?
如果基佬是这样的 那我不想当基佬
If that's what being gay is, then maybe I don't want to be.
或许我是双
Or maybe I'm bi.
现在都是双性恋了 井底之蛙
People are bi now. Open your mind, okay?
是你先说谎没化妆的
Okay, you're the one lying about wearing makeup, so...
我室友的女朋友因为我把手指
Well, I got punched in the face by my roommate's girlfriend
插♥进♥他屁♥眼♥里打了我一拳 好吗
for sticking my fingers up his butt. Okay?
所以你不能给脱衣舞男塞钱吗
And you can't give a go-go boy a dollar?
-好的 -好吧 我们
- Okay. - Okay, let's...
你一般喝什么咖啡
How do you take your coffee?
我能帮你买♥♥杯咖啡吗 祝贺你们 我们走吧
Can I get you some coffee? Congratulations. Let's go.
真为你们高兴
Very happy for you.
-这个几分 -四分
- Rate this one. - Mmm, four.
四分 太软了还是
Four? Flaccid, or?
-五 -七
- Five. - Seven.
好严格
Harsh.
看看咱俩
Well, here we are,
边喝咖啡边看鸡鸡
looking at dicks with coffees.
算是妥协了
Compromise.
-没错 -干杯
- That's right. - Cheers.
来 让我看看
Here, let me see it.
你室友的女朋友拳头很猛啊
Your roommate's GF has a mean hook.
其实我还没说完
I mean, that may not be all of the story.
这不好笑
That's not funny.
我没什么想法
I'm not trying to do anything.
你有点迷恋校园
You have a little schoolyard crush thing...
并没有
I think you have the wrong idea.
教授 我希望在学校可以保持专业的态度
I... Professor, I strictly want to keep things professional here.
是吗
Yeah?
我很专业
I'm... I'm very professional.
我是认真的 快停下
I'm serious. Stop it right now.
凯特
Kate!
天哪 我到处找你
Oh, my God, I have been looking everywhere for you.
蒂芙
Tiff.
看来你好些了
I see you're feeling better.
好多了
So much better.
谢谢
Thanks.
我们在聊私事
We were just, uh... we were having a private conversation here.
那加我一个吧
I guess it's a three-way now.
凯特
Actually, Kate...
要不你走吧
why don't you go?
我想和教授谈谈
I would like to have a chat with our professor.
谢谢
Thank you.
听着
Look...
我不是那种人
I'm not that kind of guy.
我这辈子都在和你这样的人打交道
I have been dealing with guys like you my entire life.
这倒提醒了我 教授
Which reminds me, Professor...
你一直教我什么来着
what have you been lecturing me on?
对了
Oh, right...
界线
Boundaries.
难以置信 你是干这个的
I cannot believe you're uncomfortable in gay bars
还不喜欢男同酒吧
and that's your job.
人的心理很扭曲
Okay, well, the human psyche is a twisted place.
黑眼圈的事你还没说完呢
So, you didn't finish your story about the bruise.
说来话长
Oh, it's a long story.
你不是喜剧演员之类的吗
Aren't you, like, a comedian or something?
这里可不行 到处都是
I'm not gonna do it here. There are, like...
青少年
teens around.
把他们当观众吧
Yeah, let's call it an audience.
蒂芙
Tiff!
你去哪
Where are you going?
离开这里
Just away from here.
你还好吗
You okay?
我很好 道格
I'm fine, Doug.
还有五分钟就上课了
We have class in, like, five minutes.
我不去了
Yeah, I'm not going.
为什么
For why?
你不会明白的
You wouldn't understand.
我可以试试
I could try.
我想试试
I would like to try.
其实
You know...
我们很不一样
we're very different.
你和我 你知道吧
You and me. You know that, right?
我就该在你面前拉屎的
I should've just shit in front of you. I...
我今天拉屎的时候
When I was shitting today,
一直在想 她也会拉屎
I kept thinking, "She shits, too.
我们有共同之处啊
You'll have something in common."
我可以做在你面前拉屎的男人u202c
It's like, I could be the guy who shit in front of you.
你很吓人 但我
Listen, you terrify me, but I just...
我就是喜欢你
I just like you.
所以我们做朋友吧
So let's be friends.
因为我想和你做朋友
'Cause I... I think you wanna be my friend.
好吗 朋友
Okay, friends?
周二
Tuesday.
晚上七点 你选地方
7:00 p.m. You pick the place.
这
This a...
这是约会吗
This a date?
再见 朋友
See ya, friend.