绑定

又是个基爱之夜吗
Another late night of man-on-man love?
基佬太猛了
Gay guys are lit.
别变直男啊
Don't ever be straight.
这应该没问题
I think I got that covered.
你每晚要干多少人
So, like, how many guys are you banging per night, huh?
十几个 五十几个
Tens? Fifties?
数以千计
Thousands.
我在黄网上查了 但是我输入的是
I've already looked that up on PornHub, but I type in
群♥交♥或者狂欢
"Gangbang" Or "Orgy."
我不干人 弗兰克
I'm not banging any guys, Frank.
我都没打给那个给我号♥码的人
I haven't even called the guy who gave me his number.
你每晚都在做什么
I mean, what are you doing every night?
-清洁工吗 -不 我
- Huh? Are you like a garbage man now? - No, I'm...
你是我认识最奇怪的人 对吧
You're, like, the weirdest guy I know, right?
希望如此
I hope so.
你真的想知道吗
You really want to know the truth?
天哪 这太疯狂了 好吗
God, this is crazy, okay?
我没告诉任何人 但是
I haven't told anyone, but...
告诉别人不如告诉你
If I'm gonna tell anyone, I might as well tell you.
我是施虐狂的助理
I'm the assistant to a dominatrix.
昨晚 我
Last night, I...
我在别人身上撒尿了
I peed on someone.
太酷了
That's so cool.
你在别人屁♥眼♥里塞东西吗
Do you put stuff in people's butts?
绑定
第一季 第三集
这是一直支撑我到今天的
And that has led me here...
动力
to today.
我的旅程
To my journey
深入别人的思想
into the deep waters of other people's minds.
还有个美满结局
And... happy ending:
我买♥♥了一条新金鱼
I got a new goldfish.
后来又买♥♥了十条
And ten more after,
因为我在网上看到它们活不久
because I read online that they don't last very long.
记住
So, remember...
我们可以在精神上养新的金鱼
we can always mentally get new goldfish,
这样
and in that,
我就可以钩住
I can hook...
我的心理黄金
my psychological gold.
好
Okay!
-真是太棒了 谢谢
- That was-- that was great. - Thank you.
好的 太好了
Okay, guys. That was great. That was, um...
情感的碰撞 好
All the feels. All right!
到谁了
Who is our next victim?
切斯特小姐
Miss Chester.
我
Me?
教授 我今天不舒服
I'm actually not feeling very good today, Professor.
-下次吧 -我来吧
- Maybe I should just go next time when-- - I'll go.
妈的
Okay, Motherfuck.
她不接电♥话♥ 所以
You know, she's not picking up, so...
要不改天吧
maybe you'll have to meet her another time.
-你呢 -我
- What about you? - Me?
不 我只是助理
Oh, uh, no, I'm just the assistant. I...
我就是旁观 打扫卫生 偶尔让人
I just watch, and clean up, and occasionally let people...
你刚跟我说你在一个男人身上撒尿了
You just told me that you peed on a guy.
而且你还是基佬
Plus, you're gay.
还用手指捅屁♥眼♥
You've stuck your finger in all the butts.
没几个屁♥眼♥
Okay, not that many butts.
这个月的租金全免
This month's rent... free.
所以
So, uh...
每个人都有故事 对吧
everyone has a story, right? Like, uh...
比如"我很倒过霉
Like, "A bad thing happened to me
所以我现在成这样"的故事
and this is why I'm like this" Story.
我当然也有
Uh, I certainly have that story.
其实有几个
A couple, in fact. Um...
我未婚妻 前未婚妻离开我的时候
When my fiancée, uh, ex fiancée, left me.
我嗑药
Uh, the time I was tripping balls
从大学图书馆的楼顶掉下来的时候
and fell off the roof of the library in college.
我父亲去世的那天
The day my dad died.
我以前从来不会说这些故事
Uh, I used to not tell these stories, you know.
我会埋在心底
I used to keep 'em locked away,
因为不管怎样 人都会死
'cause whatever, people die.
我前未婚妻的老板有私人飞机
And my ex fiancée's boss had his own plane.
我嗑了好多药
And I dropped a shit ton of acid.
说实话 非常有趣
Which-- which was, to be totally honest, super fun...
直到我的骨头几乎全断了
until I broke almost every bone in my body.
但我过去总是把痛苦留给自己
But I used to keep that pain to myself,
因为我从小就是这么被教育的
'cause that's what I was taught to do.
直到有一天 我朋友的爸爸去世了
Until, one day, my friend's dad died.
他打给我 一直哭
And he called me crying,
我们从来不哭的
and we are dudes that never cry.
他说 你是怎么做到的
And he said, "How did you do it, man?
你是怎么应对所有的痛苦
How did you... deal with all the pain?"
然后
And...
我在那坐了很久
I sat for a long time...
意识到
and realized, uh...
我没有
I didn't.
我们的故事很相似
Our stories are so similar.
你♥爸♥ 我的金鱼
Your dad... my goldfish.
我们同病相怜
We're so connected.
是啊
Yeah.
是吧
Yeah, kinda.
切斯特小姐
Miss Chester.
早日康复
Get better.
送我去地铁站吧
Um, walk me to the subway.
好啊
Yeah, sure.
皮特 搞什么鬼 你不能这么做
Pete, what the fuck? You can't do that.
你是基佬警♥察♥吗
What are you, the booty hole police?
为了免租 我能把整个胳膊都插♥进♥去
I mean, for free rent, I should have stuck my whole arm up there.
这不是你真实的自己
It's just not... you. It's not who you are.
我才在一个衣冠楚楚的男人身上撒尿
I just peed on a fully-clothed man.
天啊
God.
你的[屁♥股♥]怎么了
What's up your bum?
这不是双关
No pun intended.
-学校没出事吧 -皮特 我有母亲
- Everything okay with school? - Okay, Pete. I have a mother.
我要是想求安慰就去找她了
If I needed babying, I would go to her.
毕竟你和你妈
You know, it's not like you haven't
六年没说过话了
talked to your mom in the past six years, so...
蒂芙尼·切斯特
Tiffany Chester?
是我啊 切尔西
It's me, Chelsea.
-天哪 那是谁 -来抱一个啊 妹子
- Oh, my God, who is that? - Get up and squeeze me, girl!
-天啊 -谁啊
- Oh my God. - Who is it?
高中的切尔西啊
It's Chelsea from fucking high school.
她要过来了 别看她 也许她就走了
She's coming over. Okay, don't look. Maybe she'll go.
算了 她过来了
Okay, never mind, she's here.
切尔西
Hey, Chelsea.
你记得皮特吧
You remember Pete, right?
当然 我们在高中都演过同样的烂剧
Of course. We all did the same shitty plays in high school.
你以前很胖啊
You used to be fat.
没多胖吧
Well... not that fat.
也没多瘦
Not that thin, though.
一点也不瘦
Not thin at all.
不
No.
我居然在跟学弟学妹说话
I can't believe I'm talking to underclassmen.
不过没关系
Doesn't matter anymore though,
因为我们在"真实世界"了
'cause now we're in the "Real world."
生活糟透了
Life sucks.
你们住在纽约吗
Do you guys live in New York?
-是的 -是的
- Yeah. - Yeah.
你们住在这里 会觉得比
Don't you feel better than all those losers who went to school,
高中那些废物有优越感吗
'cause you live here now?