直言无讳（2015）

I went to the same high school as Lenny Kravitz.
我们应该做一个艾·琼森的小传
You know, we should do a bio piece on Al Jolson.
如果沃尔特在吉姆莉亚上直播的事上给你难堪
If Walter gives you a hard time about Jimelia being on the air,
你就让他来见我 等我做完面膜
you bring him to me after my facial.
长官 我能做什么吗
Major, anything I can do?
没什么 哈里
Nothing, Harry.
那些混♥蛋♥们
Those bastards.
但是她不想要我的帮助
But she doesn't want my help.
她不想要我的任何东西
She wants nothing from me.
我很抱歉 先生
I'm sorry, sir.
我知道我很可笑
And I know that I am ridiculous,
但是我的心又碎了
but I am heartbroken again.
这全都是脑补而已 哈里
And it's all just projection, Harry.
大部分的爱都是如此 先生
Most love is, sir.
蒲鲁斯特怎么说的
What did Proust say?
爱源自我们自己的想象
It is our imagination that is responsible
而不是他人
for love, not the other person.
我不管蒲鲁斯特说了什么 哈里
I don't give a shit about Proust, Harry.
我痛苦的是她和那个长发飘逸的蠢货在一起了
What pains me is that she's with that ass with the flowing hair.
你的头很漂亮 先生 就像颗炮弹一样
You have a beautiful head, sir. Like an artillery shell.
所以不用把自己同医院里的
So there's no need to compare yourself unfavorably
那个傻♥逼♥进行比较
to that dickhead in the hospital.
这不是头发的问题 哈里
It's not about hair, Harry.
我从来都没配上过她
I was never, ever good enough for her.
沃尔特 怎么了 现在太早了
Walter, what's up? It's early.
我 我想来见你 薇薇安
I-- I want to come and see you, Vivian.
真的非常重要
It's really important.
发生什么事了
What's wrong?
你不来参加婚礼了
You're not coming to the wedding?
莫比会非常失望的
Moby will be so disappointed.
-他爱你 -和莫比无关
- He loves you. - It's not about Moby.
沃尔特 我是莫比
Hey, Walter. It's Moby.
什么和莫比无关
What's not about Moby?
直言布讳
不不不不不不
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no.
吉姆 求你了 这只是缓一下
Jim, please, it's just a break.
我需要点时间思考一下 我需要喘口气
I need some time to think. I need to breathe.
你和我在一起也能喘气和思考
You can think and you can breathe and still be with me.
我很抱歉
I'm really sorry I asked you to marry me
在不清醒的状态下向你求婚
while having a hallucinogenic experience, okay?
真的 很抱歉
I really am. I'm sorry.
不只是这样 吉姆
It's not just that, Jim.
我不擅长处理人际关系
I'm not good at relationships.
感觉失去了自我
I feel like I get erased.
只想着你
I only think about you.
想我是好事啊
Well, thinking about me is good.
-不 不是 -很好啊
- No, it's, it's not. - It's good.
但如果我不求婚
But if I hadn't asked you to marry me,
你就不会这样做的
you wouldn't be doing this.
确实是这件事超出了我的底线
It may have pushed me over the edge, yes.
超出了底线
Over the edge?
我真讨厌我自己
I hate myself.
吉姆 只是暂时分开
Jim, it's just a break.
给我们一点时间 好好想想
Just some time for us to, you know, think.
短暂分开让我们都能认真思考
This break might give us perspective.
-只是分开 -别再说分开了
- It's just a break... - Stop saying "Break."
暂时分开就是分手的第一步
A break is just the first step in breakup.
分手的分啊
Break-up.
分手啊 就是分手好吗
Break-up. This is a breakup.
吉姆 拜托 积极一点
Jim, please. Let's be positive.
感谢上帝 你的 你的息肉不是恶性的
Let's be grateful that your-- your polyp isn't cancerous.
我才不管什么该死的息肉
I don't care about my stupid polyp.
这以前发生过
This has happened to me before.
先是暂时分开 然后就变成分手
It starts with a break, then it's breakup.
这就是分手
It's a break-up.
分手啊
A break-up.
-就是分手 -吉姆
- This is a break-up. - Jim!
那么这暂时的...
When will this...
分离要持续多久
separation be over?
我也不确定 你耐心点
I don't know. You have to be patient.
如果我们想走得更远 这是必要的
I really need you to do this if you want to hold on to us.
-可以结束了吗 -吉姆
- Is it over yet? - Jim.
-现在呢 -别傻了
- Now? - Don't be silly.
那现在呢
Now?
你每问一次 分开就重新算起
You know the break restarts every time you ask that.
我不懂 我们已经在婚姻咨♥询♥中
I don't understand. We covered this in couples counseling
掩饰了三年零两个月了
for three years and two months.
是的 但是 我还是不知道哪里不对
Yeah, but I-- I never really grasped what went wrong--
为什么就不行
why it didn't work out.
在我内心深处到底缺少了什么
What in me was lacking?
没什么 没什么
Nothing. Nothing.
也许是夜深了 喝酒了
Well, maybe it was the late nights,
还有浴室 或是哈里的缘故
the drinking, your bathroom issues, Harry.
但是我心知肚明自己不是你的那个她
But deep down inside I just knew I wasn't the one for you.
-爸爸 -你好啊 伯蒂
- Daddy! - Hey, Bertie.
快来抱抱
Give us a hug.
为什么你戴着犹太人的圆顶小帽
Hey, why are you wearing a yarmulke?
莫比希望每个参加婚礼的人都戴圆顶小帽
Moby wants everyone at the wedding to wear a yarmulke.
但莫比好像不是犹太名字啊
Hey, but Moby's not a Jewish name.
不管你准备好没 我来啦
Ready or not, here I come!
-伯蒂 沃尔特 你好 -你好 莫比
- Bertie! Walter, hi. - Hi, Moby.
-见到你真是太好啦 -是啊
- It's so good to see you. - Yeah.
-一家团圆 -并不是
- Family. - No.
你昨晚的节目太棒了
Your show last night was amazing.
-谢谢你 -但那俩人真的要结婚吗
- Thank you. - But are those two actually gonna get married?
我不知道吉姆和西莉亚间发生了什么
I don't know what's happening with Jim and Celia.
但是 莫比 你为什么要在婚礼上
But, Moby, why are you getting everyone
让每个人都戴这个圆顶小帽啊
to wear yarmulkes at your wedding?
我想让每个人
So I have this idea that all of us
都戴上这些闪亮的圆顶小帽
are gonna wear these shiny yarmulkes
然后用无人机航拍
and there's gonna be an aerial drone
在婚礼上空拍下这些帽子
circling over the wedding and with our yarmulkes
它们会拼成一句话
we're gonna spell out
"莫比爱薇薇安"
"Moby loves Vivian."
我很抱歉让你更加难过 沃尔特
Well, I'm sorry to add to your miseries, Walter,
但我还是得告诉你一些坏消息
but I do have three pieces of bad news.
你想按什么顺序听
In what order do you want them?
从最不让人难过的开始 剩下的你定吧
Start with the least painful and work your way up.
第一 监狱现在处于一级防范状态
Okay, one-- the jail is on lockdown
由于爆发了虱子
with a lice outbreak.
所以我们得重新安排邓肯·阿德勒
We have to reschedule Duncan Adler.
放他鸽子吧 又不是没干过这事
Fine, bump him. We've done it before.
还不算太坏
That wasn't too bad.
第二 我们从一个律师那听说的
Two-- we heard from the lawyer.
-《直屌♥布萎》比想象的难搞 -妈的
- Blunt Cock may be harder than we think. - Oh, shit.
我们或许得
I think we just may
忍♥气吞声了 从法律上讲
have to swallow this one, legally speaking.
我们下周和律师们有个会面
We have a meeting with the lawyers next week.
-要咖啡吗 长官 -是的 哈里
- Coffee, Major? - Oh, yes, Harry.
第三
And three--
加德纳想要吉姆和西莉亚上今晚的节目
Gardner wants Jim and Celia on air tonight
说说昨晚求婚的事情
to discuss last night's marriage proposal.
-什么 -你们看到这个了吗
- What? - Did you see this?
"吉姆莉亚"是论♥坛♥头条了
Jimelia is on the front page of Reddit.
吉姆莉亚是什么鬼
What the hell is Jimelia?
是吉姆和西莉亚的组合名字
It's Jim and Celia's power couple name.
尽管西莉亚强烈要求分开称呼
Although Celia has already asked for a separation.
今日秀 早安美国
The Today Show, Good Morning America,
他们今天早上都在嘲笑这个
they all had a good laugh about it this morning.
但我们是在试图引起大家对结肠癌的重视
But we were trying to raise consciousness about colon cancer.
谢谢 哈里
Thank you, Harry.