直言无讳（2015）

《直言不讳》前情提要
Previously on Blunt Talk.
我想我被跟踪了
I think I'm being followed.
我同事 他在洛杉矶调查一些
A colleague of mine, he was on to something
与水相关的非常腐♥败♥的事情 被杀了
very corrupt here in LA with the water. He's dead.
我最近也没干什么坏事吧
I haven't done anything wrong lately, have I?
薇薇安和莫比的婚礼邀请你还没有给答复
You've yet to respond to Vivian and Moby's wedding invitation.
薇薇安与莫比的婚礼
薇薇安与莫比
随意前来
都是我的错
This is all my fault.
不要自责 沃尔特
Oh, don't beat yourself up, Walter.
并不是每件事都是你的错
Not everything is your fault.
《直屌♥布萎》
他们是怎么做到的
How do they do that?
难道是在桌子下面有个洞
I mean, is there a hole under the desk
然后他们都从梯子里爬上来的吗
and they're all climbing up a ladder?
好了吗 吉米 我们得去医院了
Ready, Jim? We have to go to the hospital now.
好
Okay.
-我刚咽下麦司卡林了吗 -是啊
- Did I just swallow mescaline? - Yeah.
西莉亚 嫁给我吧
Celia, will you marry me?
我爱你 很爱很爱你
I love you so much. I really do.
你过分了
This is terrible.
赫歇尔 科妮莉亚呢
Herschel, where's Cornelia?
我听到她打电♥话♥
You know, I heard her talking on the phone.
要去旧仓库见什么人
She's meeting somebody at the old depot.
反正挺严重的
It seemed serious.
这不是好兆头 哈里
This can't be good, Harry.
直言不讳
第二季 第三集
哈里
Harry...!
坐下歇会吧 长官
Sit down and try to relax, Major.
我不是长官 是队长
I'm not a major, I'm a captain.
还有为什么要我歇会
And why do I need to relax?
抱歉 我是对这位长官说的 长官
Sorry, I was referring to the major, Major.
-不对 是队长 队长 -什么
- I mean captain, Captain. - What?
-谁是长官 -他是长官 队长
- Who's the major? - He's the major, Captain.
没错 我是队长 长官
Uh, that's right, I'm the captain, Major.
不不 我是长官 队长
Uh, I'm the major, Captain.
够了 哈里 都怪你把我绕进去了
Christ, Harry, you got me all muddled.
你们都喝醉了吧 我闻到酒味
I think you're both drunk. I smell alcohol.
这我要反驳一下了 队长
I take offense to that statement, Captain.
我清醒着呢
I am perfectly sober.
你闻到的可能是金缕梅液 队长
Maybe it's witch hazel you can smell, Captain.
我们用它来控油
We use it for dry skin
以及治疗其他私密疾病
and, uh, other more private ailments.
-布伦特先生 -在
- Mr. Blunt. - Yes?
我们找到您申报的失踪人员了
We've located your missing person.
她在希德斯-西奈医疗中心
She's at Cedars-Sinai.
遭遇不明袭击 所幸仍意识清醒
Somebody gave her a good working over, but she's conscious.
-我在这等 长官 -谢谢你 哈里
- I'll wait here, sir. - Thank you, Harry.
-沃尔特 -我可怜的宝贝
- Walter. - Poor dear.
真不敢相信你会遇到这种事
I can't believe this has happened.
痛吗
Are you in pain?
还行 吃了药
Not too bad. Good drugs.
算是止痛了
Almost makes it worth it.
你怎么找到我的
But how did you find me?
我去警局了
I went to the police.
沃尔特 抱歉让你担心了
Oh, Walter, I'm so sorry I worried you.
你要是等到我直播结束
If you had waited till the end of the broadcast,
我就能跟你一起去了 我就能保护你了
I would have come with you. I could have protected you.
我是被陷害的
But I was set up.
有人靠着这次旱灾发灾难财
Somebody is making a lot of money off of this drought.
还不想让世人知道
And they don't want people to know.
来啦
Here we go.
托尼
Tony.
沃尔特 这位是托尼
Walter, this is Tony.
托尼 这位是沃尔特
Tony, Walter.
-你好 -沃尔特·布伦特
- Hello. - Walter Blunt.
我很久以前看过你写的专栏
I used to read your column years ago.
你为什么这么爱用感叹号♥
Why did you use so many exclamation marks?
托尼 能让我俩独处一会吗
Tony, could you give us a minute?
行 大堂有个小丑
Okay. There's a clown in the hallway.
我去问下他有没有推荐的餐厅
I'll pick his brain for a good restaurant.
这位托尼是哪位
So, um, who's Tony?
半年前我和他在一起了
We've been seeing each other for the last six months.
他飞来这是想给我个惊喜
He flew here to surprise me.
我本来是想要告诉你的
I wanted to say something sooner.
只是见到你 我太震惊了
It was just such a shock to see you.
说说看我能不能帮到你
Just tell me how I can help you.
你没什么可帮的 沃尔特
There's nothing for you to do, Walter.
这场仗我不可能打赢
This is a fight I can't win.
明天我就回英国了
Tomorrow, I'm going back to England.
总是那么不凑巧 没能好好聊聊
I'm so sorry our timing has never been right.
嫁给我吧
你过分了 吉姆
天哪 吉姆的
Jesus Christ, Jim's
嫁给我吧
这太糟糕了 吉姆
求婚已经被转发了五十万次了
proposal's been reposted half a million times.
雪莉·汀可的动图都去哪里了
Where are all the Shelly Tinkle GIFs?
我知道 我不敢相信我们没想到吉姆莉亚
I know. And I can't believe we didn't think of Jimelia.
我猜是工作让我们分心了
I guess we've been distracted by work.
吉姆莉亚 吉姆 莉亚
Jimelia. Jim-elia.
吉姆 莉亚
Jim-elia.
我觉得它甚至好过布拉吉丽娜
It-- I mean, it's even better than Brangelina.
或者金耶 比拉里
Or Kimye. Or, uh-- or Billary.
或者萨克-马索克
Or Sacher-Masoch.
萨克-马索克是谁
Who's Sacher-Masoch?
我就是随口一说
Oh, I just threw that in there.
他在十九世纪创造出受虐狂一词
He invented masochism in the 19th century
并且是犹太人的朋友
and was a friend to the Jews.
但是你认为
But do you think, uh,
西莉亚会回心转意嫁给吉姆吗
maybe Celia will change her mind and marry Jim?
我希望别 我还想和她上♥床♥ 就一次
Oh, I hope not. I'd still like to get in her pants just once.
她有什么让你这么渴望她
What is it about her that makes you so mad with desire?
我认为是她的长腿
I think it's her long legs.
她就像棵树一样让我想推倒
She's like a tree I want to topple.
但我没斧头
But I don't have an axe.
我总是喜欢上不喜欢我的人
I always want the ones who don't want me.
我有斧头
I have an axe.
闭嘴
Shut up.
沃尔特不会喜欢这个的 鲍勃
Walter's not gonna like this, Bob.
一点都不会喜欢的 没门的
Not at all. No fucking way.
你认为我在乎吗
You think I give a shit?
这次吉姆莉亚的事非常重大
Listen, this Jimelia thing is huge.
我们从来没有过这样的反响
We've never had a response like this.
谁收过一万封邮件
Who gets 10,000 emails?
沃尔特不会让他们上直播讨论私事的
Walter won't put them on-air to discuss a private matter.
他会说《直言布讳》不是档肥皂剧
He'll say Blunt Talk is not a telenovela.
罗莎莉 这个国家的所有单身都要疯了
Rosalie, lonely hearts all across this country are going nuts.
这是个浪漫的故事
It is a romantic story.
大家想知道为什么西莉亚不愿嫁给他
People want to know why Celia won't marry him.
-你想知道 对吧 -是的 鲍勃先生
- You want to know, right? - Oh, yes, Mr. Bob.
但是沃尔特不会让的
But Walter won't have it!
我只想要一个后续
All I want is a follow-up segment.
这能让我们的观众们知道他们是好着
They let our viewers know that they are okay.
还是分手了 哪种更棒 对吧
Or not, which would be even better, right?
我 我认为它很重大
I-- I think it's huge.
我爱它 我爱它 妈咪
I love it. I love it. Mammy!
你知道艾·琼森
Did you know Al Jolson,
除过是他那个年代最伟大的歌♥手之外
aside from being one of the greatest singers of his time,
还是个伟大的维♥权♥者吗
was also a huge civil rights activist?
不 我不知道这个 鲍勃 我喜欢唱歌♥
No, I didn't know that, Bob. I like to sing.
我爱唱歌♥ 实际上我可以成名
I love to sing. I actually could have been a star.
我上的是蓝尼·克罗维兹的高中