直言无讳（2015）

应该挺困难的
It's gonna be a problem
因为他一直很怕
because he has always been very fearful
有异物靠近他的结肠
of anything coming near his rectum.
多数人都是这么想的
Well, a lot of people feel that way.
他小的时候就不准我给他量体温
I could never take his temperature when he was a boy.
我得在体温计上涂满凡士林
I would slather up the thermometer with Vaseline.
然后他就要打我
Oh, he would fight me.
总之这件事非常重要
Anyway, this is very important.
每年有五万美国人死于结肠癌
50,000 Americans die of colon cancer every year.
-这么多 -没错
- That many? - Yes.
直肠癌的数据我就不知道了
I don't have the numbers on rectal cancer.
西莉亚 在吗
Celia, are you there?
等等 斯通阿姨 吉姆叫我
One second, Mrs. Stone. That's Jim calling now.
在 吉姆
Yes, Jim?
只是想告诉你
Just wanted to say
三个月纪念日快乐 妈咪
happy three-month anniversary, Mommy.
纪念日快乐 亲爱的
Happy anniversary, sweetheart.
我早告诉过你上班的时候别叫我妈咪
But I've told you not to call me Mommy at work.
-他叫你什么 -为什么不行
- What does he call you? - Why?
西班牙男人一直都叫妈咪的啊
Spanish men have been saying mami for years.
再说了 又没人听得到我叫
Anyway, no one can hear me.
这是我俩的专线
We're on our private line.
是专线没错
Um, yes,
可是我现在在和你的真妈咪视频
but I'm FaceTiming with your real mommy
她长了六颗小息肉
and she's got six little polyps,
所以你也得尽快去检查下
so it's very important that you get checked.
六...根棒棒糖
Six lollipops?
你刚是说棒棒糖吗
Are you saying lollipops?
我去 这传声效果也太烂了
God, these cans are terrible.
不...不是棒棒糖
No, not... not lollipops.
息肉
Polyps.
虽然听不清你说什么 但看来不是好事
Whatever you're saying, it doesn't sound good.
重点不是在这
But that's not the point.
让我妈别和你视频了
Tell my mom to stop FaceTiming you.
你自己说
Well, you tell her.
吉姆 那是罐头吗
Jim, is that a can?
昨晚睡得好吗 长官
How'd you sleep, Major?
不好
Not well.
科妮莉亚
Cornelia.
懂了
Yes, sir.
还做了个有奥逊·威尔斯的噩梦
And I had a sinister dream about Orson Welles.
我估计我的潜意识被焦虑占据了
My subconscious, I'm afraid, is polluted by anxiety.
心疼你 长官
I'm sorry to hear that, sir.
我也是
Me, too.
可我超喜欢奥逊·威尔斯
But I love Orson Welles.
最爱《历奸佳人》
I was in "Touched By Evil".
-你是想说《历劫佳人》吧 -历奸
- You mean "Touch of Evil". - "Touched By".
是翻拍的AV版本
It's an erotic reimagining of the film.
罗尼导的
Ronnie directed.
也就只有他了
Naturally.
反正梦里面 奥逊怒视着我
Anyway, Orson glowered at me
就像把我当罪犯一样
as if I was a criminal,
可是我最近也没干什么坏事吧
but I haven't done anything wrong lately, have I?
长官 我唯一能想到的就是
The only thing I can think of, sir,
薇薇安和莫比的婚礼邀请你还没有给答复
is that you've yet to respond to Vivian and Moby's wedding invitation.
一个月前寄来的
It was sent over a month ago.
我估计想着不可能 就放着没管了
I guess I'm putting it off in the hope it's not true.
薇薇安与莫比
随意前来
什么叫"随意前来"
What do they mean by "come as yourself"?
给我这句话我怎么知道穿什么衣服去
I mean, how is that a guideline for how to dress?
这就仁者见仁了 长官
It is open to interpretation, sir.
莫比
Moby.
但愿能让她幸福吧
Well, maybe he'll make her happy.
不知道他床上功夫够不够格
I wonder if he's an adequate lover.
这我倒从没想过 长官
It's not something I've considered, sir.
他的屁♥股♥一点也不翘
His buttocks seem meager.
哈里 你也知道 这和屁♥股♥没关系
It's not a matter of buttocks, Harry, as you should know.
卧了个大槽
Holy fucking shit!
邓肯·阿德勒被捕
三个月前闯入直言布讳现场的
Duncan Adler, an eco-anarchist who hijacked
生态无政♥府♥主义者邓肯·阿德勒已被逮捕
the Blunt Talk news show three months ago, has been apprehended.
案后阿德勒躲在了
Adler has been hiding out in
梅尔罗斯的虔敬派犹太社区
the Hasidic community of the Melrose District.
现已被带至警局
And here he is now.
阿德勒先生 你有什么想说的吗
Mr. Adler, what do you have to say for yourself?
我是为了这个世界
I did it for the planet.
-你是犹太人吗 -你会知道的
- Are you even Jewish? - I'll let you know.
我的天 看不下去了
Good Lord. Enough of this.
你在说些什么
What are you talking about?
我们也该派人去现场拍摄采访
We should have had cameras down there.
我爱死阿德勒了
I love Adler.
他劫持你之后我们的收视率就稳坐第一
You know we've been number one since he took you hostage.
鲍勃 我觉得我们能拿第一
Bob, I think we're number one
是因为所有人工作努力
because we've all worked so hard.
够了 立刻着手安排
Please. Listen, I want you to get
让阿德勒在看守所接受独家采访
an exclusive jailhouse interview with Adler, okay?
接下来三个月的收视率就靠它了
We're gonna ride this thing for the next three months.
去干吧
Make it happen.
鲍勃 我不想再在直播上提这个人了
But, Bob, I don't want to give that madman more airtime.
那天他本来都可能要杀人了
He could have killed people that day.
那才是绝佳头条 可他没这么干
That would have been great, but he didn't.
请尽快进行采访
So please get the interview.
各位周末愉快
Have a beautiful weekend, everyone.
我还要参加场LGBT赛船比赛
I will be attending another LGBT regatta.
我接手 沃尔特 下周进行采访
I'm on it, Walter. We'll do it next week.
今晚就开始做策划准备
And we're all set up for tonight.
好 那周一的医药专题呢
Good. Now, what about Monday's Medicine Cabinet segment?
还没听到任何消息 说吧
I've heard nothing, so pitch me.
我的HPV传染报道随时可以推出
Um, uh, well, my HPV epidemic story is always ready to go.
人乳♥头♥状瘤病毒
-还追加了衣原体相关报道 -否决
- Plus I added a sidebar on chlamydia. - Nope.
-越来越多的橄榄球选手死于 -否决
- More NFL players are dying ev... - Nope.
麻省理工的教授好像实现了
Some professors at MIT seem to be able to
-通过意念发送短♥信♥ -否决
- send text messages with their minds. - No.
Fitbit手环推出新应用
Fitbit watches now come with an app that
可帮助治疗早泄
helps with premature ejaculation.
-否决 -王室...
- Nope. - The royal family has...
我♥操♥ 否决
Jesus Christ, no!
这条呢 沃尔特
How about this, Walter?
每年有50万美国人死于结肠癌
Half a million Americans die of colon cancer every year
通过常规的结肠镜检查可以有效预防
and these mortalities could be prevented with routine colonoscopies.
直肠癌的具体数据我还没有
I haven't got the figures for rectal cancer, but...
结肠癌怎么能跟HPV比
How is colon cancer better than HPV?
我还没说完 吉姆的母亲长了六颗息肉
I haven't finished yet. Jim's mother has six polyps.
它有遗传性
It's hereditary,
所以吉姆也得去做结肠镜检查
so Jim will have to have a colonoscopy
我觉得不如对此进行直播报道
and I say why not make it into a live broadcast?
你说什么 妈咪
What? Mommy.
妈咪
Mommy?
结肠镜检查这条不错
I like the colonoscopy idea.
-确实 -沃尔特 我...我不想做
- Me, too. - But, Walter, I... I don't want to.
吉姆 给我去做
Jim, you're doing it.
这条结肠镜检查报道能救人命呢
This colonoscopy broadcast to millions could save lives.
门德尔松博士和贝丝
Dr. Mendelson and Beth
来对你进行认知治疗了 长官
are here for your cognitive therapy, Major.
谢谢哈里
Thank you, Harry.
所有人 还有件事要交给你们
All of you, there is something you can do for me.
卫报有名记者 科妮莉亚·怀特
There's a writer for The Guardian. Cornelia White.
找找她是否在洛杉矶
Find out if she's in LA.
为什么要找她 沃尔特
Any reason why, Walter?
我昨晚好像看到她了
I thought I saw her last night