爆笑女警（2016）

以下是今天的新闻资讯
They're calling it one of today's news stories.
两名逃犯
Two fugitives...
安琪拉·翠贝卡和小安琪拉· 盖尔斯
Angela Tribeca and Angela Geils Jr.
因企图盗窃路易斯安那购地案原件而被通缉
are on the run after a plot to steal the Louisiana Purchase
此案已由佩里副总统破获
was foiled by Vice President Perry.
最后发现他们的地点是一家便利店
Their last known location was inside a convenience store.
你有什么可以消除DNA的东西吗
Do you have anything to clean off DNA?
没有 抱歉
No. Sorry.
那来半打银子弹轻啤吧
Can I get a six-pack of Coors Light?
再要一个牛肉卷
And a beef roll-up.
信♥用♥卡♥还是借记卡
Credit or debit?
能用这些带荧光染料的钞票付款吗
Do you take bills with fluorescent dye all over 'em?
不超过二十美元就行
Just nothing over $20.
我先去发动汽车
I'm gonna go warm up the car.
你 便利店小哥 他们就在你眼前
You in the convenience store, they're right in front of you.
石头赢剪刀
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
想都别想
Don't even think about it.
把酒带上
Grab the beer.
车不错啊 女士
Nice car you got here, lady.
我用这根撬棍跟你换
Trade you this crowbar for it.
混♥蛋♥
Sucker!
爆笑女警 第四季第10集 本季终
他们都没打扫
Ugh! They didn't clean.
是的 102房♥间需要清洁服务
Uh, yeah. We're gonna need housekeeping in room 102.
小心
Look out!
不 没事的
No, it's fine.
目前为止 一切都很顺利
Everything's been lovely so far.
好 谢谢 好的
Yeah, thank you. Okay.
怎么了 儿子
What's going on, son?
太震惊了 你知道吗
It's just hitting, you know?
特别行动小组 这个团队 太可耻了
The SDF, the "team." It was all a shame.
肖勒 阿特金斯
Scholls, Atkins.
天哪 沙罗
Jesus! Charo.
那个夺走了人家初吻的女人
The woman I went to second base with.
一直都在玩弄我
She was playing me the whole time.
别忘了霍夫曼
Don't forget Hoffman.
救命
现在我生命中有更多人抛弃我了
More people in my life that abandoned me.
这不公平 好吗
Hey. That is not fair, okay?
我抛弃你 完全是为了我自己
I abandoned you to make my life easier,
不是为了什么国际上的圈地运动
not for some kind of international land grab.
我怎么可能再去相信任何人呢
How could I believe in anybody anymore?
确实不能 我之前学到了一件事
You can't. I learned a long time ago
就是人类这个物种已经烂到根了
that human beings are rotten to the core.
他们只做短期内对自身有益的事
They only do things that benefit them in the short term.
我睡那张床
I call that bed.
我以为他们关心我们
I thought they cared about us.
我以为他们关心我们的事业
I thought they cared what we're doing.
我知道
I know.
你就是在犯二
You were so stupid.
但是你还有我 好吗
But hey. You got me, okay?
我绝不会再抛弃你
And I'm never, ever gonna abandon you...
第二次
for a second time.
即使你♥爸♥爸没有在这季中出现
And even though he hasn't been featured in this season,
但他还是很关心你的
your father cares about you, too.
这就是为什么他把这个寄给你
That's why he sent this for you in the mail.
爸爸的徽章
Dad's badge.
不敢相信他还记着我的生日
I can't believe he remembered my birthday.
是啊 怎么会有人忘记呢
Yeah, how could anyone forget that?
这就是我为什么给你这本非常特别的
That's why I got you this very special, uhh,
有一个弹孔的圣经
bible with a bullet hole in it.
哇 酷
Whoa. Cool.
你可以用手指或其它东西把它转起来
You could spin it on your finger and everything.
谢谢 妈妈
Thanks, mom!
现在我们来聊聊你的初吻吧
Now, what's this about going to second base?
给我找到他们 立刻 马上
I want them found, and I want them found now.
不就在那儿吗
Are those them!
天哪 每次都这样
Oh, my God. Every time.
所以谁能告诉我
So, who wants to tell me how we let
我们陷害小安和翠贝卡
A.J. and Tribeca escape
盗窃购地案原件这个天衣无缝的计划
after we flawlessly framed them
最后怎么就让他们跑了呢
for stealing the Louisiana Purchase?
不说我就点名了
I'm gonna start calling on people.
宝贝 他们已被锁定在半径二十五英里范围内
Sweetheart, we've tracked their location to a 25-mile radius.
他们的信♥用♥卡♥被冻结
Their credit cards have been frozen.
护照被取消
Their passports have been canceled,
优步评级也被降到了一星
and their Uber ratings have been downgraded to one star.
宝贝 你秀了我一脸
I can't stay mad at you.
你们俩有奸♥情♥啊
There's something going on between you two.
听着 乔 这些人搞砸了此次行动
Listen, Joe, I take full responsibility
我承担全部责任
for the fact that these guys screwed up,
但我们需要将注意力集中到当前的任务中
but we need to stay focused on the task at hand.
将购地案原件还给法国总统
Returning the Louisiana Purchase to the President of France.
这样就能终止1803年那场灾难性的交易
Thereby undoing the disastrous transaction made in 1803.
然后在美国中部建立一个新的国家
And forming a new country in the central United States
你将成为总统
of which you will be made President,
而我将成为第♥一♥夫♥人♥
and I will be First Lady.
是的 没错
Yes. Yes.
现在 法国总统
Now then, the President of France
正在热拉尔·德帕迪约机场等候我的到来
is awaiting my arrival at Gerard Depardieu Airport.
当我登上空军二号♥时
While I'm aboard Air Force Two,
我要你们找到小安和翠贝卡
I want you to track down A.J. and Tribeca.
他们是唯一能阻止我成为总统的人
They're the only thing that stands between me
新国家将被命名为法·小不点儿·国
and becoming the president of what I'm gonna call
因为听起来比较萌
Lil' France with a hip-hop apostrophe after Lil'
更能迎合年轻市民的品味
to play to the younger citizens.
你说过要命名它为肖勒
You said you were going to name it Scholls.
太俗
It didn't test well.
谁点的熟食拼盘 正合我意
Good call on whoever ordered the deli platter.
我饿坏了
I am famished.
我们要怎么做
What are we gonna do?
一旦文件到达法国 就全完了
Once that document gets to France, it's game over.
整个中西部都将归他们所有
They'll have the deed to the entire Midwest.
好吧 我们得想办法溜进空军二号♥
Okay, so we figure out a way to sneak aboard Air Force Two.
我们拿到文件
We secure the Purchase.
将佩里副总统劫为人♥质♥ 通知总统
Hold Perry hostage. Notify the president.
然后安全降落在安德鲁斯空军基地
And then land safely at Andrews Air Force Base.
空军二号♥是世界上第二安全的飞机
Air Force Two is the second-most secure plane in the world.
我知道 而且我们是通缉犯
I realize that. And we're wanted fugitives.
我们的照片贴满全城
Our faces are plastered all over town.
但他的没有啊
But his isn't.
但我们的脸曝光了
But our faces are.
而且是我俩需要上飞机
And we're the ones that need to get on the plane.
但是其中一个有他的脸 我们就可以进去了
But if one of us had his face, we would sail right through.
但是没有啊
But one of us doesn't.
所以 依然是同样问题
So, we still have the same problem.
但是其中有一人可以做到呢
But what if one of us did?
她是说如果你把我的脸切下来
She's saying that if you cut off my face
戴在你们某个人的脸上 你们就能通过安检了
and put it on one of your faces, you can pass through security.
哦 所以你的意思是我们把...
Oh, so you mean we take his...
他的脸切下来
face off?
我就会变成他
I will become him.
空军二号♥ 延误四十五分钟
对不起各位 看来空军二号♥
Sorry, folks. Looks like Air Force Two
要再延误四十五分钟了
is stuck here another 45 minutes.
卡丹
Cardin!
你是怎么摆脱那些禽兽的
How the hell did you get away from those animals?
当然不简单
It sure as hell wasn't easy.
翠贝卡拼死反抗
Tribeca put up quite a fight.
她简直太棒了
Man, she's amazing.
你的法国口音呢
What happened to your French accent?