爆笑女警（2016）

一定非常高
must be really high.
这家伙根本不胖啊
This guy is absolutely not fat.
看他多余的皮肤
Look at all this extra skin.
这人以前超胖的
This man was obese.
所以他通过节食和锻炼成功减肥了吗
So what? He lost weight through diet and exercise?
不可能
Not a chance.
看样子是有人把所有脂肪都吸出去了
It appears someone sucked all the fat out of his body.
什么 你怎么知道的
What? How do you know that?
看他的臀部
Look at the buttocks.
看到这个针孔了
See that pinprick?
从屁♥股♥吸走的
Someone tapped this ass.
吸得还挺狠
Someone tapped this ass hard.
我真的没法让这套衣服变得时髦
I cannot seem to get this ensemble to pop.
别问我 我对时尚一窍不通
Don't ask me. I don't know jack about fashion.
苏芒小姐姐说 如果我能
Ms. Summour said if I come up
为九月份那期想出什么好主意
with some great ideas for the September issue,
她就带我去参加巴格达的时尚周
she'll take me to fashion week in Baghdad.
那样我就能当众揭露贪腐丑闻了
Then I can crack this whole embezzlement thing wide open.
我也不确定 我只觉得太复杂了
I don't know. I just think it has too much going on.
简单点会怎样
What if you just went simpler?
翠贝卡 你只是把她打扮成了警♥察♥
Tribeca, you just dressed her as a cop.
时尚行业中的任何人
Look, nobody in the fashion industry
都会嗤之以鼻...
is ever gonna look at this and think...
赞
I love it!
中性的颜色 简洁的线条
Neutral colors. Clean lines.
男女通吃
Is it a man? Is it a woman?
这就是我想要的九月刊设计
This. This is what I want for the September issue.
这是我的想法
It was my idea.
真是绝了
I think it's absolutely brilliant.
如果你不太忙的话
Say, if you're not too busy,
你愿意和我一起去巴格达参加时装周么
would you like to join me for fashion week in Baghdad?
噢 我... 我怎么可能...
Oh, I... I couldn't possibly...
拒绝
say no to that.
走起
Count me in!
完美
Excellent.
祝玛利亚·沙罗下周生日快乐
Here's to Maria Charo, whose birthday is next week.
谢谢 谢谢 你们对我太好了
Thank you, thank you. You're all too kind.
今天就是我的生日
My birthday is today.
天呐 肖勒 我怎么给忘了呢
Oh my God, Scholls, how could I have forgotten?
你不是说在这个案子上有重大突破吗
You said you had a breakthrough on the case?
我发现所有秘鲁的受害者
The discovery that fat had been sucked
脂肪都被抽走了 于是我想
out of all the Peruvian victims got me thinking.
脂肪有何用途
What is fat used for?
被放进食物里
It's in our food...
肥皂里
they use it in soap...
还有塑料袋
plastic bags.
甚至在蜡笔里
It's even in crayons.
但你知道么 包括润肤霜在内的
But did you know that it's also a common ingredient
很多化妆品中 它都是一种很常见的成份
in many beauty products, including moisturizers?
所以回去之后
So I went back and did tests
我对所有死去的模特都做了检查
on all the dead models and found out
发现她们用过同一种抗衰老面霜
that they all used the same age-defying face cream.
也就是说有人在卖♥♥含有人体脂肪的面霜
Someone is selling a face cream with human fat in it?
我弱弱地问一下 管用吗
That begs the question... does it work?
我们需要找出是谁
Someone's smuggling illegal human fat into the country,
走私人体脂肪到美国
we need to find out who.
这么做的人 都是自恋的 虚荣的
Whoever's doing this is narcissistic, vain,
肤浅的 痴迷于颜值的人
shallow, obsessed with appearance,
愿意做任何事情
and willing to do anything to cling to whatever sliver
来抓住从指尖慢慢溜走的青春
of youth that's slowly slipping from their fingers.
没错 到底管用不
Yes, but does it work?!
安琪拉·盖尔
Angela Geils.
是我 我还在办公室
Hey, it's me. I'm stuck at the office.
你们还要在那儿呆多久
How long are you guys gonna be there?
今天案情有了重大突破 你错过了
It's Scholls' breakthrough, and you're missing it.
我又不是不想去
It's not like I don't want to be there.
你倒是提醒了我
Which reminds me,
明天我也去不了
I'm not gonna be there tomorrow for your realization.
我要飞巴格达
I'm gonna be on a flight to Baghdad.
巴格达 你咋不上天
Baghdad? What the hell is going on?
你知道有多少女孩愿为这份工作而死吗
Do you know how many girls would die for this job?
知道 五个
Yeah, five.
我们刚发现他们都用了同一种面霜
We just found out that they all had a face cream
里面含有被杀害的秘鲁人的脂肪
that had fat from murdered Peruvians in it.
含有人体脂肪的面霜
Human fat in face cream?
太疯狂了 先挂了
Okay, that sounds insane. I got to go.
九月这期马上就搞定了
We're almost finished with the September issue,
要赶在印刷厂关门前付印
and we have to get to Kinko's before it closes.
听着 妈妈
Well listen, Mom,
你要决定你优先做哪件事
you need to decide what your priorities are.
明天我们会有大行动
Tomorrow, we're planning a really big bust,
如果你不来的话...
and if you don't show up...
我们就知道你的选择是什么了
I guess we'll know what you chose.
小安 别这样
A.J., come on...
小安
A.J.?
我越想越觉得
You know, the more I think about it,
你就是我们新警♥察♥形象的
the more I realize that you'd be the perfect model
绝佳模特
for our new cop look.
虽然我以前从未当过模特
Well, I've never been a model before,
但自我十二岁起 就不再赤身裸体了
but I have been wearing clothes since I was 12.
不许动 混♥蛋♥
Freeze, scumbags!
把手举起来
Hands in the air!
立刻 马上
Get 'em up right now!
你们是警♥察♥吗
Are you the police?
还有其它问题吗
Any other questions?
没了 长官 没问题了
No, man. We're cool.
这他妈的是什么
What the hell is this?
- 海♥洛♥因♥ - 我知道这是海♥洛♥因♥
- Heroin. - I know it's heroin!
脂肪在哪儿
Where's the fat?
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
海♥洛♥因♥
Heroin.
皮草
Real fur.
一张还不错的舞台喜剧光盘
A decent studio comedy...
我不明白了 长官 应该就在这的
I don't know, sir. It should be here.
听着 猪油桶先生 今天外面格外炎热
Listen, Sir Tub-a-Lard, it's a boiling hot day out here,
我没时间跟你在这瞎扯
and I don't have time for nonsense!
等一下 什么这么香
Wait a minute. What smells delicious?
把刀给我
Hand me that knife.
不错 不错 不错 某人吃了顿丰盛的早餐嘛
Well, well, well. Somebody had a big breakfast.
求你了 我也是迫不得已
Please, I have to deliver this fat,
否则苏芒女士会杀了我的
or Ms. Summour will kill me.
等等 苏芒是幕后黑手
Wait a minute. Summour's running this whole thing?
翠贝卡 她在巴格达 孤立无援
Tribeca. She's in Baghdad without backup.
我们怎么办
What do we do?
如果有架飞机就好了
If only we had a plane.
你会开飞机吗
Do you know how to fly a plane?
当然
Of course.
该死
Shit.
是手动挡
It's a stick.
完美
Perfect!
非常不错
Loving it!
再性感点
Now show me sexy.
棒极了
Amazing!
先休息下
Let's take five.
倾国倾城
You are absolutely transcendent.
吃点点心 补充下能量吧
Why don't we replenish your energy with a little snack?
我能吃吗
Oh, I could eat something?
越来越像真正的模特了
Spoken like a true model.
我觉得这些都是你的最爱
I believe these are your favorites.
你从披萨包饼店买♥♥了全套的披萨包饼
You got the full Stromboli Stack from Stromboli Shack?