爆笑女警（2016）

我们再把这里清理了 就可以溜了
I mean, we only just got away with cleaning up this last one.
客房♥服务
Room service!
我要离开这里
I gotta get out of here.
姬莲 不要
Gillian, no!
我是晚间新闻记者威利·贾正义
Willie Dustice here from the Evening News.
可以说说有关你的录像...
Do you care to comment on the video of you...
无可奉告
No comment!
我是早报记者雪梨· 荷兰
Sherry Netherlands from the Morning Gazette.
能说说录像吗
Any comment on the video?
我是午报记者杰罗米·小骄傲
Jeromy Gride, Midday Sun.
可以谈谈录像吗
Will you go on record about the video?
录像是什么鬼
What the hell is this video?
我不知道 不管是什么
I don't know, but whatever it is,
我们都得删掉
we need to get rid of it.
只有一个人能将全网的录像
And there's only one person who can scrub a video
都删掉
from the entire Internet.
我给她打电♥话♥
Let me call her.
不必了
No need.
好了 交完燃气费了
Okay, I paid my gas bill.
现在 让我们看看这段录像有多火
Now, let's see how far that sex video has gotten.
九亿个搜索结果
900 million search results.
- 天啊 - 好消息是
- Oh, my God. - I know. It's a good thing
在它公之于众之前 你们找到了我
we got it before it really got out there.
有什么办法能从全网删除录像呢
Is there any way to just scrub it from the net?
有一个办法 但你们不会喜欢
There is a way, but you're not gonna like it.
只要能平息此事 我保证我一定喜欢
If it makes this thing go away, I promise you I'll like it.
好吧
Okay.
同时按住重启键和删除键
You press control, shift, alt, delete.
整个网络就会重启
That resets the entire Internet.
等等 我的通讯录怎么没了
Wait a minute, where are my contacts?
天哪
Oh, my God!
我所有的书签都消失了
Uh, I lost all my bookmarks!
我不记得网飞的密♥码♥
I can't remember my Netflix password!
大概是时候告诉你们
I think I should tell you all now that
我的情报都是从维♥基♥百♥科♥上来的
I get a lot of my information from Wikipedia.
没了 都没了
It's gone! It's all gone!
线上的事情就算解决了
That takes care of everything online,
但那些已经参与的记者们
but I can't do anything about the reporters
我就束手无策了
who already have their teeth in the story.
我要你们查到每个参与进来的
I want dirt on every single reporter
记者的污点
who's been sniffing around.
发掘他们的陈年烂事 堵住他们的嘴
Dig up their dirty laundry and wrap it around their necks.
话说 你们找出是谁
So, have you guys already figured out
杀了爱默生·全是泪了吗
who killed Emerson Lake-Palmer?
我查到毒死他的毒药
I was able to determine that the poison used on him
是美国情报部门用的那种
was a variety used by the U.S. Intelligence Services.
你的意思是 是间谍使用的毒药吗
So, you're saying it was a spy poison?
那可不是什么毒鼠强
This wasn't just some arsenic from your grandma's medicine cabinet.
是要人命的真家伙
This was the real deal.
是给联邦调查局 中情局
I'm talking FBI, CIA,
以及相关部门用的
and the hard to remember one.
长官 我知道我们本应掩盖这件事
Sir, I know that we're supposed to just cover this up,
但我的内心告诉我 我们应该查下去
but my gut says we should pursue this.
我们应该查下去
小安 沙罗 让那些记者们闭嘴
A.J., Charo, put a lid on the reporters.
翠贝卡 杜兰 找出毒药的来历
Tribeca, Duran, figure out where this poison came from.
是 长官
Yes, sir.
肖勒 你和霍夫曼...
Scholls, you and Hoffman...
抱歉 长官 我有约了
Actually, sir, I have an appointment.
约什么约 我们正在...
You have an appointment? We're in the middle of...
我要去摘牙套
I'm getting my braces removed.
恭喜你
Oh! Congrats.
她难道一直都戴着...
Did she always have...?
刚刚是来自午间新闻的杰罗米·小骄傲
Well, that was Jeromy Gride from the Midday Sun
为我们带来的 凯希尔部长的独家劲爆新闻
with his big scoop. It's all about Secretary Kayhill.
请讲讲其中细节
Where are we going with this?
- 这人简直毫无污点 - 不一定吧
- This guy's clean as a whistle. - I don't know.
我总觉得哪不对
Something about him is really bothering me.
让我碰都不敢碰
I just can't put my finger on it.
他先吃布丁 但大家不都这样吗
I mean, he's eating the pudding first, but who doesn't?
所以
So...
那个
like...
我们有进展吗
what are we doing?
我们正想找出这个记者的污点
We're trying to find dirt on this reporter.
八秒钟之前 你才问过这个问题
Didn't we talk about this like eight seconds ago?
不 我是说 我和你
No, I mean, you and me.
我是说 我们在一起了吗
Like, are we together?
嗯 我们在一起了
Yes, we're together...
在这个通风管道里
here in this vent.
我感觉你是在故意躲避这个话题
I feel like you're purposely trying to not have this conversation.
你最喜欢吃啥
What's your favorite food?
我超爱儿童软糖
'Cause I really like those little Sour Patch Kids.
算了
You know what? Forget it.
- 别呀 小安 - 算了
- No, A.J.? - Forget it.
小安 拜托
A.J., come on.
这事儿水有多深
How deep does this go?
副总统知道他的保镖
Did the Vice President know that his bodyguard
正在出轨...
was having an affair with...
闭嘴
Shut up!
翠贝卡 这位是格伦艾伦·米克松
Tribeca, this is Glen-Allen Mixon,
前联邦调查局局长
former director of the FBI.
很荣幸见到你 长官
It's an honor to meet you, sir.
为啥
Why?
你就不认识其他人了吗
Haven't you ever met anyone?
米克松局长 现在有个情况...
Director Mixon, we have a situation...
伊丽莎白吗
Elizabeth?
不 长官 是我
No, sir, it's... it's me.
黛安·杜兰
It's Diane Duran.
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
我还以为你是其他人
I thought you were someone else.
伊丽莎白吗
Elizabeth?
不 我是格伦艾伦·米克松 请问你是
No, I'm Glen-Allen Mixon. And you are?
我打断一下
I'm gonna interject here.
我来自特别行动小组
I'm with the Special Division Force.
副总统组建的那个
Oh, that cockamamie squad of losers
莫名其妙的屌♥丝小队
put together by the Vice President?
对的
That's us.
长官 能再见到你真好
Sir, it's so good to see you again.
我一直对您的智慧与领导力
I've always had such tremendous respect
抱有最崇高的敬意
for your intelligence and leadership.
我知道你们的目的
I see where this is going.
小朋友 你们还是该干嘛干嘛去吧
Hey, little boy, why don't you go out and play some pinball?
您应该听说了姬莲·凯希尔的绯闻了吧
You've probably heard about the Gillian Kayhill affair.
哪一件
Which one?
说真的 哪一件
Seriously, which one?
爱默生·全是泪死了的那件
The one where Emerson Lake-Palmer ended up dead.
我们认为他是被毒死的
We think he was poisoned with a substance
这种毒药只有美国情报部门才有
that's only available to U.S. Intelligence.
你想让我告诉你们 是谁负责这块
And you want me to tell you who had access?
让我违背捍卫宪法的誓言
Breaking my oath to defend and protect our Constitution?
拜托 格伦艾伦
Come on, Glen-Allen.
你以前很宠人家的呢
You always had a soft spot for me.
确实 但医生让我戒色
I did, but the doctors removed it.
拜托了嘛
Please?
好吧 如果你想来这套
Okay, if that's the way you want to play it,
让你的小朋友去看电影吧
send your little brother to the movies
我们走起
and let's get busy.
天哪 刚刚真是太爽了
Oh! That was wonderful!
感觉我重回九十岁了
I feel like I'm 90 again.
你睡了两个小时
You've been asleep for two hours.
都没去上厕所