爆笑女警（2016）

很好 不过还是能看出你在思考
Great, but I can see you thinking!
不要思考
Less thinking!
放空大脑
Empty your mind!
你要双目无神发着呆
I want you blank-eyed and slack-jawed!
呆呆地凝视着前方
Stare into space!
盯着千里之外
The thousand-yard stare!
就是这样 就这样
That's it! That's it!
别动 好
Right there! Yes!
拍到了
We got it!
谁来给她点儿可♥卡♥因♥
Someone get her some cocaine.
爆笑女警 第四季第04集
她的名字叫罗拉· 法拉纳
Her name is Lola Falana.
抱歉 墨菲 高级会议
Sorry, Murphy. Above your pay grade.
过来吧 霍夫曼
Come on, Hoffman.
法拉纳小姐是美国
Miss Falana was on her way
冉冉升起的超模新星
to becoming America's next supermodel until yesterday
昨天在一场《流行杂♥志♥》的
when she was corseted to death
时尚拍摄中死掉了
at a fashion shoot for Popular Magazine.
过去两个月 她已是第五名遇害的超模了
She's the fifth supermodel to be killed in the last two months.
副总统佩里称这是一场国难
And Vice President Perry has declared a national emergency.
只怕再发生几起谋杀案
The fear is we're only a few murders away
就轮到普通女人上时尚杂♥志♥封面的境地了
from ordinary-looking women appearing on magazine covers.
我第三任养母是一位超模
My third foster mom was a supermodel,
这件案子真的很接近寄养家庭了
so this one hits really close to foster home.
联调局的人查过了没
Has the FBI looked into it?
那群弱鸡啊
The Female Body Inspectors
完全不知所措 所以交给我们了
are completely stumped, so it falls to us.
既然所有的模特
Since all the models died
都是在《流行杂♥志♥》拍摄地死亡的
at a Popular Magazine photo shoot,
我们要展开一次卧底行动
we're gonna commence an undercover operation
卧底在杂♥志♥总部 美国时尚之都
at the magazine's headquarters in Tulsa, Oklahoma...
俄克拉荷马州 塔尔萨
the fashion capital of the U.S.
老天 一群前警♥察♥
God damn it. What the hell
对时尚能有什么了解
do a bunch of ex-cops know about fashion?
靠
Shit!
时尚需要洞察力
Fashion is perception.
我很有洞察力
And I know everything about perception.
鞋是为了突显小腿
The shoe was intended to enhance the calf,
裤子是为了展现臀部
the pant was invented to show off the buttocks,
衬衫是为了遮盖裤子
and the shirt is nothing but a hat for the pants.
我们就要进入一个陌生世界了
Look, we're heading into an unfamiliar world
到处透漏着神秘
with mysteries around every dark corner.
但我们要解决这起案件
But after that, we're gonna solve this crime.
用孟鹤堂的名言来说 就是"盘他"
So in the immortal words of Tim Gunn... "Make it work"!
打扰一下 我来参加安娜·苏芒的面试
Excuse me. I'm here to interview with Anna Summour.
好的 谢谢
All right. Thank you.
- 翠贝卡 - 塔纳
- Tribeca?! - Tanner?!
你来这儿干什么
What are you doing here?!
我在秘密调查模特之死
I'm on a secret mission to investigate dead models!
你呢
What about you?
我在调查总公♥司♥的贪污
I'm looking into embezzlement at the parent company!
我的天
Oh, my God!
你卧底成什么了
Uh, w-what are you undercover as?
精神病吗
A lunatic?
不是 苏芒夫人的第二助理
No, as Ms. Summour's second assistant.
亲爱的 小姑娘
Uh, uh, honey, girl, look.
幸亏她还有半个小时才能到
Luckily, she won't be in for another 30 minutes,
- 我们还有... - 她要出电梯了
- so that's gonna give us... - She's coming off the elevator!
火灭了
Fire's out!
我的司机今早迟到了十五分钟
My driver was 15 minutes late this morning.
我没给你叫司机
I never called you a driver.
你昨晚该发给我的证据
And the proofs that you were supposed to send me last night
- 邮箱里没有 - 我把你邮箱忘了
- were not in my e-mail. - I totally forgot your e-mail.
你能打给达利安
Would you call Darien
看看他今天想不想做午饭
and find out if he wants to do lunch today?
我都不知道达利安是谁
I don't even know who Darien is.
还有 拜托 不要悬崖屋餐厅
And, please, not the Cliff House.
这是个什么东西
What in God's name is this?
这是披萨包饼
Oh, this is a stromboli.
有点像披萨饺
It's kind of like a calzone,
但披萨是在里面的
but more like a pizza on the inside.
那你和你的披萨包饼
And what are you and your stromboli doing
坐在我桌前干什么
sitting in front of my desk?
我来面试做你的新助理
I am here to interview to be your new assistant.
原来如此
Of course you are.
你读过《流行杂♥志♥》吗
Have you even read Popular Magazine?
读过
Yeah. Yeah.
我尤其喜欢
I, uh, was particularly fond
去年春天的... 上衣类
of last spring's story about... tops?
那是我们最畅销的一♥期♥
Oh, that was our best-selling issue.
不管如何 可以让你试试
Well, we might give you a shot after all.
但是
But, um...
我们得在这上面费点功夫
We're really going to have to do something about this.
她好像是穿了个垃圾袋
Looks like she's wearing a garbage bag.
还有鸡蛋卷吗
Is there any more egg roll?
还剩一个 在哪儿
There was one left. Where is it?
她皮肤上的DNA绝对不是她自己的
We found some DNA on her skin that definitely isn't hers.
给你个眼神 自己体会
Well, that's promising, but presumably,
那天很多人碰过她
a lot of people were touching her that day...
发型师 化妆师 色狼
hair stylists, makeup artists, perverts.
我敢保证 这个人没有碰过她
I can assure you this person did not touch her.
你为什么这么确定
What makes you so sure?
这人绝没碰过她的原因是
The reason this person never touched her is because
他住在秘鲁 从没来过美国
he lives in Peru and has never visited the U.S.
也许法拉纳去秘鲁进行过模特演出
Maybe Falana did a modeling gig in Peru.
查过她的护照 从没去过秘鲁
Checked her passport. She's never been to Peru.
这就令人挠头了
Well, that's a real head scratcher.
你说这个模特多大来着
How old did you say this model was again?
我没说 二十二
I didn't. 22.
现在才说
Now I have.
不 她不是二十二岁
No, she's not 22.
看她手指上的晒痕
Look at the tan line on her finger.
她结过婚 又怎样
So she was married. Big deal.
这只手是右手
It's on the wrong hand.
是悠悠球线的晒痕
That's a yo-yo string tan line.
见鬼了 她是对的
Well, I'll be damned. She's right.
悠悠球盛行于八十年代末及九十年代初
The yo-yo craze was late '80s, early '90s at the latest.
这女人要么继承了世界上最好的基因
This woman either inherited the best genes in the world,
要么就是驻颜有术
or something's keeping her looking incredibly young.
那好 我们这么做
All right. Here's what we do...
我们飞去秘鲁 找那个
We fly down to Peru, and we have a talk
与DNA相匹配的人聊聊
with this guy with the DNA.
一首凉凉献给你
Here's the kicker...
你没法和他聊了
You can't have a word with the guy...
他两年前就死了
he's been dead for two years.
太胖
Chubster.
太丑
Uggo.
平胸
Dump truck.
水桶腰
Revenge of the blob.
丹尼 找个能真正展现
Danny, why is it so difficult
我们衣服特点的模特 就这么难吗
to find models who can actually wear the clothes we feature?
我们是有更苗条的
We had skinnier ones,
但都掉进地铁缝里了
but they fell through the subway grates.
我会再找一些来 苏芒夫人
I'll find some more, Ms. Summour.
姑娘们 走吧
Ladies. Come on, shoo.
散了 散了
Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo.
- 丹尼 - 在
- Danny? - Yes?
新来的那个小子呢
Where's the new boy?
那个小黑胖子
You know, the boxy one.
你说我吗
You mean me?