爆笑女警（2016）

当然了
Oh, yes.
听起来我会被照顾的好好的
Sounds like I'm gonna be well taken care of.
噢 差点忘了
Oh, I almost forgot.
还有一件免费队服
You get a free team shirt.
我能得到这个带队标的胸罩吗
Do I get the team bra?
那就看你的本事了
Let's see how good of a player you are.
我的天哪
Oh, my God.
哦 我的天哪
Oh, my God!
你太厉害了
You're amazing!
你要来试试吗
You wanna give it a shot?
不了 我搞不懂这些游戏
No, I don't understand these games.
就是喜欢看
I just like to watch.
抓住金币 抓住金币
Ooh, grab the coins. Grab the coins!
你们怎么只想要金币呢
What is it with you people and the coins?
这样又赢不了 这个床垫太烂了
That's not how you win! God, this mattress sucks!
这个
This...
搞什么鬼
What the hell?
请别杀我
Please don't kill me!
你们这些人为什么会被杀呢
What is it with you people and getting killed?!
他疯了 谁都阻止不了他
He's crazy! He'll stop at nothing!
- 谁 - 你不懂
- Who? - You don't understand.
特别复杂...
This is so much bigger than...
不不不 等一下
No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait.
你先停下 让我想想
Don't start that. Just let me think.
金币 每个人都想要金币
Gold coins. Everybody wants gold coins.
而他竟然有一堆假♥钞♥
And this kid somehow's got piles of fake money.
两者之间一定有什么联♥系♥
I-It's gotta be connected!
是有联♥系♥ 我可以告诉你
It is connected! I can tell you...
你能不能安静一会儿
Would you shut up for a second?
我正在想他们之间的联♥系♥呢
I'm trying to piece this thing together.
如果这些不是假♥钞♥呢
What if it isn't fake money?
没错 如果这些是真钞 那这些金币
Wait, what if it's real money and the coins are...
他正在通过游戏洗...
He's laundering money through the ga...
你就不能安静一会吗
Can you just be quiet for five seconds?!
所以 用假♥钞♥充值
Okay, so, you got fake money going in,
再用金币换真钞
real money coming back.
没错 他在洗钱 没错
Ooh! It's laundering! Of course!
骨魔 他不想收集金币了
BoneDevil, he... he doesn't want to collect coins,
所以他就没用了 所以奥兹干掉了他
so he's useless, so Ozzy takes him out,
但奥兹又是个大嘴巴 所以他们就干掉了奥兹
but Ozzy's got a big mouth,so they take Ozzy out.
- 奥兹死了 - 你能不能安静
- Ozzy's dead?! - Can you just shush?!
你得保护我
You need to protect me!
如果他认为是我说的 他会...
'Cause if he thinks I talked, he's...
我最擅长的就是保护人了
Look, I am definitely good at protecting people.
你根本不用担心
You don't need to worry about that.
我一定要见见你们的幕后老板
But I need to meet this big guy who's running everything.
绝对不行
Absolutely not! No way!
求你了 我吃不了
Come on! There's no way I can finish it.
这是个跨国洗钱的大案
It's an international money-laundering scheme.
他们利用航行任务里的金币洗钱
The money changes hands through the gold coins in "Voyage Quest."
我们找到的那些奇怪的矩形纸
Oh, and those weird paper rectangles we found,
它们被称作欧元
they're called Euros.
我铸币厂的朋友说
This is from my buddy at the Mint.
它们被称作欧元
They're called Euros.
这个贝奇 是骨魔的前任
Oh, and Becky, who was BoneDevil's girlfriend,
现在是我女朋友 我很容易就搞定她了
but is now my girlfriend... I'll get to that in a second...
她会帮我们安排和那个
she's gonna arrange a meet-up with the head
- 幕后黑手碰面 - 很好
- of the whole operation. - That's great.
我们一起去 全副武装
We'll go in as a team, fully armed...
不行 不行 必须得我一个人去
No, no, no, no. It has to be only me.
不 我们
No, we...
好吧 不要因为有小婊砸勾引你
All right, just don't let your guard down
就放松警惕
because some floozy let you jiggle her love button.
我从不玩潜规则那一套
You can't push someone else's button in this game.
你玩连连看时约过
You can in Simon.
好了 大家不要吵了
All right, everybody. Just stop.
就这么定了 小安 靠你了
All right, A.J. It's all you.
太棒了
Yeah!
进来 都进来
Come in, come in.
你们没看到彩虹吗
Pay no attention to... the rainbow!
你们不觉得它很美吗
So beautiful, don't you think?
火球
Fireball!
欢迎来这儿
Bienvenue, welcome.
我是皮尔·卡丹
My name... is Pierre Cardin.
我听说你是这类游戏的网红主播
And I hear that you are the new Chef des Jeux Vidéos.
可能吧
Uh, uh, yeah, I guess.
的确有人觉得我还行
I mean, some people think I'm pretty good.
还行
"Pretty good"?
还行 上帝啊
Pretty good, mon Dieu!
但我很欣赏你的谦虚
But you delight me with your modesty.
他是我见过最好的玩家之一了
He's actually one of the best I've ever seen.
现如今 最好这个词都被用烂了
You know, people love to throw around this word "best"...
最好的交易
Best Buy,
西雅图最好的咖啡
Seattle's Best Coffee,
全国最好的酸奶
This Country's Best Yogurt.
但也不过说说而已
But these are just words, no?
那你愿不愿意赌上性命
Would you be willing to, say...
来证明你是最好的
stake your life on the fact that you are the best?
你到底什么意思
I-I'm not sure I follow.
这是最新的虚拟现实游戏
This is the latest in VR gaming.
你会完全沉浸在
You will be completely, totally immersed
航行任务的虚拟环境里
in the virtual landscape of "Voyage Quest."
你不仅可以感同身受
You will not only see and hear everything around you,
它其实就是我们俗称的 真·生物模拟
but this is also what we call total biological simulation,
简称 真·摸
or total BS.
不应该是自摸吗
Wouldn't that be TBS?
真搞笑
Very funny.
我的意思是
What I mean to say is,
游戏会连接你的中枢神经系统
that this game will connect to your central nervous system.
你的角色有什么感受
Whatever the avatar experiences in the game,
你就会有什么样的感受
the game player will experience, as well.
比如 如果你的角色... 死掉了
If, for example, your avatar were to... die,
你也会死
the human controller will die, as well.
妈
Mom?
天哪 小安 快出来
Jesus Christ. A.J., get out of there!
好吧
All right.
我们来试试
Let's give this a whirl.
你是怎么把这个...
Now, how... how exactly do you make this...
啊
Aah!
游戏已连接到了你的脊髓
The game is now connected to your spinal cord.
怎么...
How... Oh.
好吧
Okay.
哇 有网球 乒乓球 ...
Okay, so, you got tennis, Ping-Pong...
一直向下翻
Keep scrolling down.
航行任务
"Voyage Quest."
现在点击开始按钮
Now hit the virtual "start" button.
好的
Uh, okay.
进去了
I'm in!
像真的一样
It's so real.
甚至有清风拂面的感觉
I-I-I can... I can feel the breeze through my...
啊
Aah! Ow!
贝奇 你搞毛
Becky, what the hell?!
法棍么么哒 全世界最好的玩家
BaguetteBardot? The world's best gamer.
幸会
Enchanté.
显然 你只有赢了这场游戏
Obviously, the only way for me to actually know
我才能确定你是世界上最厉害的玩家
if you are the best is for you to play my champion.
规则如下...
So, the rules will be as follows...
如果法棍赢了 那么 你会死掉
If Baguette wins, well... you die.
但是如果你赢了 我会心甘情愿地
But if you win, I will allow you to arrest me
让你以洗钱和间谍罪逮捕我
for money laundering and international espionage,