爆笑女警（2016）

打扰一下
Excuse me?
好吧 女人一到三十岁
Oh, that's right. The moment a woman turns 30,
就没有人注意了
they throw a cloak of invisibility over her.
相信我 这世界上没有人
Trust me, there's not a man on this earth
能忽视你的存在
who would find you invisible.
你真是个小甜心
Well, aren't you a sweetheart?
我要一杯螺丝起子
I'll have a vodka gimlet and...
- 少女心 - 要双份的
- Shirley Temple. - Make that a double.
了解
You got it.
我是姬莲·凯希尔 很高兴认识你
Gillian Kayhill. Nice to meet you.
爱默生·全是泪
Emerson Lake-Palmer.
我们在哪儿见过吗
Don't I know you from somewhere,
- 凯希尔夫人 - 是小姐
- Mrs. Kayhill? - It's Miss.
我确信会记得如你这般英俊的小伙
And I'm sure I'd recall meeting such a handsome young man,
除非我曾路过你的梦境
unless I ran through one of your dreams?
坚果
Nuts?
过敏
I'm afraid I'm allergic.
你吃吧
But you go right ahead.
张嘴
Open up.
敬新朋友
Here's to new friends.
为什么不再来一轮酒
Why don't we order another round
然后我告诉你50是26的几倍
and I'll show you how many times 26 goes into 50?
只是一倍
So, it only goes in once,
然后余24
then you're left with 24 as the remainder.
接下来26分之24
So then you have 24 over 26,
除公约数就剩下13分之12
which reduces to 12 over 13.
13无法再继续 因为是质数
And 13 can't be reduced 'cause it's prime.
没错
Exactly.
现在 为什么不来处理下
Now, why don't we do something
你裤兜里的凸起呢
about that lump in your pocket?
真的放不下了
There's just no good place to keep it.
好多了
That's better.
你裤子里有东西呼之欲出
Something's trying to get out of your pants.
我的鸡
My cock.
起床啦 小懒虫
Time to wake up, sleepyhead.
小懒虫
Sleepyhead?
小懒虫
Sleepyhead?!
小懒虫
Sleepyhead!
爆笑女警 第四季 第07集
接下来的两周没有任何案子
As discussed, our docket is free for the next two weeks,
我打算让整个团队放个假
so I'm sending the entire team for some much needed R and R.
我会去喜马拉雅山
I myself will be heading into the Himalaya,
让我的寄生虫和家人团聚
where my parasite has family.
两周后见
See you in two weeks.
谁都不许走
No one's going anywhere.
美国政♥府♥有个大丑闻
There's a major breaking scandal in the U.S. Government.
我需要你们特别行动小组即刻处理
I need the S.D.F. to deal with it immediately.
能不能推迟 副总统先生
Is there any way it could wait, Mr. Vice President?
我的团队疲惫不堪 虽然我不知道
The team's exhausted, and I don't know how
怎么回事 但我只想置身事外
this figures into it, but I don't want to.
此事刻不容缓
The only thing that can wait is not this.
好吧
It's fine.
我们找出责任人 关起来
We'll take down whoever's responsible, lock 'em up,
然后再去度假
and then we'll go on our break.
谁说让你们抓人了
Who said anything about taking anyone down?
是让你们掩盖此事
I need you to cover it up.
隐瞒 扼杀 清洗
Bury it, smother it, sweep it so deep under the rug
不许留下任何痕迹
you don't find it till you move.
我们竟然还接受
I didn't realize we were in the business
掩盖丑闻的任务
of covering up scandals.
我让你们干什么
You're in the business of whatever business
你们就得干什么
I say you're in.
事情是这样的
Now, this is the situation.
一位内阁成员
A member of the Cabinet has had
同我的一位年轻职员有了婚外情
an extra-marital affair with a young member of my staff.
长话短说 死人了
Long story short, dead.
你开玩笑的吧
You gotta be kidding me.
我们都是职业杀手
We're all trained killers here.
我今天刚杀了个人
I killed a guy today.
现在居然要为出状况的约炮收拾残局
Now, we're mopping up after a booty call gone wrong?
他没完全说实话
He's not telling us everything.
看看他的肢体动作
Look at his body language.
她只是个朋友 好吗
She was a friend, okay?
姬莲·凯希尔
Gillian Kayhill.
内政部长 姬莲·凯希尔
Secretary of the Interior Gillian Kayhill?
她虽犯了错 却是个好人
She's a good woman that made a mistake.
这个解释够满意了吧
That explanation should be enough to satisfy everyone.
先生 我真的必须...
Sir, I really must...
我知道你有意见 翠贝卡
I know you really must, Tribeca,
但我们必须为副总统服务
but we serve at the pleasure of the Vice President.
这令我心情大好
And I find this extremely pleasurable.
解决这事 不然我就解决了你们
Now, make this go away, or I'll make you go away.
- 这件案子... - 等等
- Now, this is a case... Wait, wait, wait.
已经很霸气了
You had an absolutely sick ending line.
不要再说了
I would leave it there.
客房♥服务
Room service!
放那就可以了
Over there is fine.
约法三章 第一条
Rule number one...
别为任何人开门
Don't open this door for anybody.
谢天谢地你们来了
Thank God you're here.
我都快疯了
I've been going out of my mind.
普利特金
Pritikin...
姬莲
Gillian.
很高兴见到你
It's good to see you.
这些年你一点儿都没变
The years have been kind to you.
- 我身患绝症 - 造化弄人
- I'm dying. - You'd never know.
我们会搞定这事
We're gonna take care of this.
但首先...
But first things first...
你得告诉我发生了什么
I need you to tell me what happened.
全部
Everything.
事无巨细
Omit no details.
6点45 我到楼下的酒吧
I got downstairs to the bar at 6:45...
好了 可以了 我知道了
All right, all right! I got it!
凯希尔女士 你有勾搭年轻男子的习惯吗
Ms. Kayhill, do you make a habit of picking up young men?
别开玩笑了
Don't be ridiculous.
凯希尔女士 你是否
Ms. Kayhill, do you make a habit of lying
- 撒谎成性 - 没有
- about your habits? - No.
好吧 我承认
All right, yes.
我喜欢年轻男子
I love young men.
我用尽办法戒掉 包括尼古丁贴片
I've tried everything to quit, even the patch.
好吧 我们这么办
All right, here's what's gonna happen...
小安和肖勒 处理尸体
A.J. and Scholls, get rid of the body.
沙罗还有霍夫曼 清洗现场
Charo and Hoffman, scrub the scene.
翠贝卡 可以提出质疑了
Tribeca, question our involvement.
长官 我不吐不快
Sir, I really have to interject here.
我们是要帮这位女士掩盖杀人的罪行吗
We're just helping some lady cover up a murder?
没人知道她是否应该被保护
Who even knows if she's someone we should be protecting?
我不想参与此事
I'm sitting this one out.
我不知道她是否值得我们保护
I don't know if she deserves our protection,
但我知道 如果我们不处理好这件事
but I do know this. If we don't clean this up,
和你最近的人将名誉扫地
someone very close to you is gonna be compromised.
谁
Who?
你吗
You?
恐怕是的
I'm afraid so.
你就从未想过 我如何在二十五岁
Didn't you ever wonder how I became L.A.'s
就成为洛杉矶最年轻的警督
youngest lieutenant at age 25?
我猜你找到了一个神灯
Well, I just figured you found a genie
然后再没许过别的愿望
and never gave it a second thought.
事实是 我和凯希尔有一段香艳往事
The truth is I had a torrid affair with Ms. Kayhill.
香艳到什么程度
How torrid are we talking?