泰格·诺塔洛：我又来了（2024）

不停地听到阿黛尔…
"It's Adele, Adele, Adele, Adele, Adele, Adele."
结果她根本没有唱歌♥
And then she never sang.
然后我转向斯蒂芬妮说 “我来唱吧”
And I turned to Stephanie and I just said, "Pfft, I'll do it."
当时粉红佳人 刚刚唱完她最后一首歌♥
And Pink was finishing her final song.
我走到舞台前面
And I walk up to the front of the stage
说：“嘿 接下来我想唱一首歌♥”
and I said, "Hey, I wanna sing a song next."
她非常兴奋
And she was so excited.
她知道我是脱口秀演员
She knew I did comedy.
但她不知道我还是一名歌♥手
She didn't know I was a singer.
她问：“你想唱什么歌♥？”
And she said, "What song are you gonna sing?"
我回答说：“我想唱… 阿黛尔的《你好》”
And I said, "I wanna sing Adele's 'Hello.'"
她非常激动
She was so excited,
我觉得她的表情都快爆♥炸♥了
I thought her face was gonna pop off of her head.
阿黛尔的歌♥曲 不是谁都能驾驭的
You can't dial in an Adele song.
所以她心想：
You know? So she's like,
“她不仅会唱歌♥ 而是唱功盖世”
"Oh, not only does she sing, she's incredible."
然后我说：“是这样的
And then I said, "Here's the thing.
“我不太熟悉这首歌♥的旋律
I don't really know how the song goes."
“所以我在想你能不能帮我个忙
"And so I was wondering if you could do me a favor
“到舞台边去请DJ”
and go over to the side of the stage
“播放阿黛尔的《你好》”
and ask the DJ to play Adele's 'Hello,'
“然后我会尽我所能地边弹边唱”
and then I'll play and sing along to the best of my ability."
她的脸色沉了下来 因为她意识到
And her face dropped 'cause she realized
她在那一刻面对的是什么
what she was dealing with in that moment.
但她还是答应了
But she did it.
粉红佳人走过去 请DJ播放阿黛尔的《你好》
Pink walks over, asks the DJ to play Adele's "Hello."
而那正是我在考虑 今晚可能会为你们演奏的曲目
And that is what I was thinking I just might play for you tonight.
我只需要再稍微热身一下
I just need to warm up a little more. Hold on.
我 事实上 你们知道吗？
I actually... You know what?
我觉得此刻是这个节目中 道歉的好时机
I feel like this is a good point in the show to apologize.
比如说 今晚你朋友把你带来了
Say a friend brought you tonight.
对不起
I'm sorry.
又或者你可能只看过我演的电视节目《密西西比》
Or maybe you only know me from my TV show One Mississippi
或者听过我的播客《帅哥》 然后…
or my podcast Handsome, and...
然后你在想 她还做脱口秀 那是什么样的呢？
And you're like, "Oh, she does stand-up? What's that like?"
就是这样的
It's like this.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我得说 当我站在舞台上时 总会有这样的时刻…
I have to say, I have these moments when I'm on stage...
我真切地感受到
where I, I really get in touch with
自己是别人的母亲这个事实…
the fact that I am somebody's mother.
还是什么的 但是…
Or whatever, but...
你们懂吗？我得当面对着这些孩子
You understand, I have to look at these children in the face
说：“我现在要去工作了”
and say, "I have to go to work now."
“不 这很重要 我要迟到了 我…我得走了”
"No, it's important. I'm running late. I must go."
我…
I, um...
我所有的节目 都以阿黛尔的《你好》做结尾
I close all of my shows with Adele's "Hello."
有一次我在檀香山…
And, um, I was in Honolulu,
我的合同中说明了 我的舞台上要有一架钢琴
and it's in my contract that I have a piano on stage.
然后我当时在后台 主办方
And I was backstage and the promoter,
还是谁走过来对我说 “泰格 非常抱歉
somebody came up to me and he said, "Tig, I'm so sorry.
“我不知道这是怎么回事 但是你应该要有一架钢琴 对吧？”
I don't know how this happened, but you're supposed to have a piano."
然后我说：“是的”
And I said, "Yes, I...
“我确实需要一架”
I do need one."
然后他说…
And he said, um...
“我刚刚看了你的合同 我看到你需要一架
"I just looked at your contract and I saw that you needed one."
“我很抱歉 我不知道这是怎么回事
And I'm so sorry. I don't know how this happened.
“我们确实有一架钢琴
We do have a piano.
“只是…”
It's just, um...
“没有调好音”
"It's not tuned."
然后我说：“没关系”
I said, "Oh, that's fine."
他说：“真的吗？”
He said, "Really?"
我说：“是啊 完全没关系” “反正也没什么区别”
And I said, "Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It makes no difference whatsoever."
节目还是一样
"Same show."
事实上 就算有一些琴键缺失了
"In fact, every other key could be missing."
节目还是一样
"Same show."
所以…
So...
其实 有没有人想要点
Actually, if anybody has a specific song title
什么特定的歌♥曲？
that they would like to request.
我喜欢大家争先恐后的样子 就好像在争着说
I love that everyone's, like, panicking, like, trying to, like...
“我们是来听热门歌♥曲的 泰格”
"We came here for the hits, Tig."
有人吗？
Any? What?
听听你们自己的喊声
Listen to yourselves.
听听你们自己的喊声吧
Just listen to yourselves.
什么？
What's that?
《心与灵魂》 -休伊路易斯的《心与灵魂》吗？
"Heart and Soul" by Huey Lewis?
不是吗？
No?
不好意思
Well, I'm sorry. What is...
那…那是什么… 谁唱的《心与灵魂》？
Who sings "Heart and Soul"?
这有什么关系呢？我又不会弹钢琴
Wait, why does it even matter? I don't know how to play piano.
真不敢相信我竟然在纠结细节
I can't even believe I'm getting hung up on details here.
没问题 我就弹《心与灵魂》吧 我…
Sure, I'll play "Heart and Soul." I...
你们知道吗？我拒绝这种对待
You know what? I refuse to be treated this way.
像这样…
"It's this..."
这感觉就像是纽约常见的
That feels like such a New York thing.
就好像…
Like, I feel like...
在排练舞蹈之类时…
Like at a dance rehearsal or something.
老师会说：“二、三 向前进…”
Like, the teacher's like, "You know, two, three, step it up."
别忘了我不会…
Let's not forget that I don't...
回到正题 我要演奏《心与灵魂》了
Again, here's "Heart and Soul."
我们开始吧
Here we go.
顺便一提 那是休伊路易斯的版本
That was the Huey Lewis version, by the way.
好了 在我做最后的结尾之前
Okay, so before I do this, the big finale...
唱功盖世的阿黛尔…
The incredible Adele.
真是个奇才
Such a talent.
而我只是…有一点非常重要 你们千万别忘了
And I just, it's so important that you not forget
我不会弹钢琴
that I don't know how to play the piano.
而且嗓音很糟糕
And I have a terrible voice.
我知道有人可能还抱有幻想 “我知道马上要来了 我知道马上要来了”
And I know people are like, "I know it's coming, I know it's coming.
“我敢打赌她一定很会弹钢琴 而且唱歌♥也很好听”
I bet she's a great piano player and I bet she sings like a bird."
这些都不会发生
That is not on the horizon.
这是最重要的事
This is the most crucial thing.
你们不能忘记 哪怕是一瞬间…
You cannot forget for even a millisecond...
阿黛尔…就在那个聚会上
that Adele was at that party.
来吧
Hit it.
非常感谢你们 布鲁克林
Thank you so much, Brooklyn.
记住阿黛尔当时也在场
Remember, Adele was there.
还有奥普拉温弗瑞也是
And so was Oprah Winfrey.
布鲁克林的朋友们 真的非常感谢你们
People of Brooklyn, thank you so, so much.
衷心感谢你们的捧场
Thank you so much for coming out.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢 你们真是太给力了
Thank you. What a great audience.
非常感谢你们
Thank you so much.