泰格·诺塔洛：我又来了（2024）

因为是这样的
Because here's the thing,
就是一个人…
is a person that...
我认为当时的情况是 她在看着我的脸
I think that what happened was she was looking at my face,
然后她应该是在不经意之间 说了那些话
and I think her sentence got ahead of her.
然后她只能说：“那就告诉他们 你发生过意外事故吧
And she was just like, "So, you know, just tell them about your accidents,
“说你是个母亲…”
that you're a mother... Oh..."
这张脸可以是很多不同的身份
"Oh, this face could be many different things.
挥动一下手 挥啊挥
Flappity, flap, flap."
你知道 这不是…
"Flap." You know, this is not...
这是
This is...
这就是恐慌
This is panic.
这并不是 我想要伤害你的感受
This is not "I'm gonna try and hurt your feelings."
这个举动的意思是停下来 倒带 让刚才的话挥之而去
This is "Oh, stop, rewind, flap it away."
我想不到用什么词汇来形容 但就是挥动一下手 挥啊挥
I don't have the vocabulary, but flappity, flap, flap."
我做了 我最终还是做了脊椎手术
I did, um... I did end up having back surgery.
而且谁知道 事情并没那么顺利
And wouldn't you know it, there were complications.
我告诉你们发生了什么事吧
I'll tell you what happened.
他们剖开了我的肚子 移♥动♥了我的内脏
They cut my stomach open, move my insides over,
用螺钉和融合技术固定了我的脊椎 然后把一切都移回原位
bolt and fuse my spine, move everything back over,
最后把我缝合好
and then zip me up.
我…我很抱歉 我知道这涉及很多医学术语
And I-I apologize. I know that is a lot of medical jargon.
但实际情况就是这样
But it is what happened.
然后我的血压急剧下降 我的内脏停止工作了
And my blood pressure dropped really low, my insides shut down,
由于血压过低 他们无法给我提供
and they couldn't give me the level of pain medication I needed
我需要的止痛药
because my blood pressure was so low,
因此我感到非常痛苦并开始惊慌
so I was in so much pain, started panicking.
然后他们给了我劳拉西泮来缓解焦虑
Then they gave me Ativan for the anxiety.
就在那一刻 我们发现
And we found out in that moment
原来我对劳拉西泮过敏
that I'm allergic to Ativan,
然后我就开始产生非常强烈的幻觉
and I started hallucinating like crazy.
斯蒂芬妮说 让她意识到不对劲的瞬间
And Stephanie said the moment that she knew something was off
就是当我躺在那里说：“嘿 孩子
was when I was lying there and I said, "Oh, boy."
“老板娘来了”
"Here comes boss lady."
她说：“首先”
And she said, "First of all,
“我知道 你不可能会用'老板娘'这个词”
I know you would never use the term 'boss lady.'"
“其次 你并没有女老板”
"Second of all, you don't have a boss lady."
“第三… 那里根本没有人”
"And third of all, there is nobody there."
然后我好像转向一侧
And I guess I had turned
尝试把我们家的猫赶下床头柜
and tried to shoo our family cat off of the bedside table.
我说：“毛毛 下去 离伏特加远一点”
I was like, "Fluff, get down. Get away from the vodka."
那里根本没有伏特加
Wasn't a bottle of vodka sitting there.
而且毛毛那天也没有来医院看我
Also, Fluff was not visiting me that day in the hospital.
它是前一天来的
She had actually come the day before.
而在这之前 通常医生和护士们
And before this moment, typically, the doctors and nurses would always
都会直接向我走过来 检查我的生命体征
beeline over to me, and they would check my vitals.
然后我看过去 现在他们都站在斯蒂芬妮身边
And I look over and now they're all standing around Stephanie,
我就想 “天啊 到底发生了什么事？”
and I'm thinking, "Oh, my gosh, what's going on?"
我无法控制自己的大脑 我当时在想：
I couldn't get a hold of my brain, and I was like,
“他们到底在说什么？”
"What are they talking about?"
然后我听到斯蒂芬妮说
And then I heard Stephanie say,
“是啊 她所说的 每一句话都是幻觉”
"Yeah, she's been hallucinating on every sentence."
于是我插了话
And then I interrupted.
我说：“是每隔一句”
And said, "Pfft, every other."
我只是想挽回面子 因为我真的…不知道发生了什么事
Just trying to save face because I really did not know what was happening.
我是说 我真的毫无头绪
I mean, truly had no clue,
而且我从没尝试过“致幻药物之旅”
and I've never done hallucinogenic drug trips.
听听这蹩脚的表达方式 就知道我所言非虚
And that's probably obvious just by that sentence.
我最接近那种精神状态的时候
The closest I've ever come to that state of mind
是当我真的很累 或者有人把我从睡梦中
is when I'm really tired or somebody wakes me up
叫醒的时候 我会说一些毫无意义的话
from my sleep, I'll say something that doesn't make sense.
我还记得初中一年级的时候
And I remember when I was in seventh grade,
我朋友来我家过夜 我们当时在黑暗中聊天
my friend was spending the night and we were talking in the dark,
她正在分享一些童年的创伤经历
and she was sharing something traumatic from her childhood.
我突然醒过来了 因为我听到自己大喊
And I woke up because I heard myself yell,
“冰箱里有玉米热狗”
"There's corn dogs in the freezer!"
然后她说：“什么？”
And she said, "What?"
然后我得将这个情况合理化
And then I had to make it make sense.
我说：
And I said, "Oh, um...
“我只想让你知道”
I just wanted to let you know
“如果你晚上突然饿了”
that if you do get hungry in the night,
“我们的冰箱里有玉米热狗”
we have corn dogs in our freezer."
“但不管怎样 继续说吧 我在听”
"But anyway, go ahead. I was listening."
布鲁克林的朋友们
And people of Brooklyn,
我们不是那种会在冰箱里 放玉米热狗的家庭
we were not a corn dogs in the freezer kind of family.
所以那次真的好险
So that was a close call.
但不用说 在那段时间里
But needless to say, I was not in touch
我与外界失去了联♥系♥
with the outside world during this stint.
然后有一次 斯蒂芬妮看过来 发现我手里拿着手♥机♥
And Stephanie looked over at one point and I had my cell phone in my hand.
她就问我说：“你在做什么？”
And she said, "What are you doing?"
我说：“我在给帕特里克发短♥信♥”
And I said, "I'm texting Patrick."
她说：“让我看看你的手♥机♥” 我说：“为什么？”
And she said, "Let me see your phone." And I said, "Why?"
她说：“把你的手♥机♥给我”
And she said, "Give me your phone."
如果她没有截屏
And if she hadn't taken a screen grab,
我绝对不会相信
I would never have believed
我本打算给帕特里克发的内容
what I was about to send to Patrick.
他只是问：“嘿 你怎么样了？”
He simply asked, "Hey, how's it going in there?"
而我回答说：
And I responded, saying,
“嘿 帕特里克 嗯 情况已经恶化到毛巾去了”
"Hey, Patrick. Yeah, things have been getting worse to a towel."
然后在括号♥里 我写道：
And then in parentheses, I wrote,
“我看到拖拉机！”
"I see tractor!"
“还有CHB”
"Also, CHB."
每当我分享这个故事时 难免会有人问
And whenever I share this story, inevitably, somebody asks,
“什么？ -CHB是什么？”
"What? What is CHB?"
而我的回答是…
And my response is,
“什么叫做恶化到毛巾去？”
"What is getting worse to a towel?"
为什么没有人 对短♥信♥的其他部分提出疑问？
Why does nobody have any question about the rest of the text message?
大家问的都是“CHB是什么鬼？”
Everybody's just like, "What the hell is CHB?"
我是说 什么？我也不知道
Like, what? I don't know. It's...
我当时脑子不正常 你可以随便编一个解释
I was out of my mind. Make up whatever you want it to be.
但我觉得还好我足够清醒
But I love that I had the wherewithal
为“我看到拖拉机”这句话加上了括号♥…
to put parentheses around "I see tractor!"
因为我只能假设 我当时正在发短♥信♥…
Because I can only assume that I was mid-text
然后瞥了一眼
and then glanced over.
结果就…
I was like, "Whoa."
好吧 这与我短♥信♥
"Okay, this has nothing to do
的其余部分无关…
with the rest of my message,
但我确实看到了一台拖拉机
but, uh, I do see tractor."
还有CHB
"Also, CHB."
在我出院几天后
And a couple of days after I was discharged,
我隐隐约约地记得
I had this vague recollection
我在给帕特里克发短♥信♥的途中 停了下来
of stopping texting Patrick
去搜索如何拼写拖拉机
to Google "how to spell tractor."
我知道如何拼写拖拉机
I know how to spell "tractor."
但我想在那种状态下 我当时在想
But I guess in that state of mind I was just like,
“好吧 我不能就这么发 有拼写错误的短♥信♥
"Okay, I can't just be firing off misspelled texts."
“帕特里克会怎么看我？”
"What will Patrick think of me?"
最后我去做了物理治疗
I ended up going to physical therapy,
我得先确认一下
and I just, I want to make sure
我的物理治疗师不在现场
that my physical therapist is not here.
她一点幽默感都没有
She has absolutely zero sense of humor.
没有
None.
完全没有
None.
斯蒂芬妮称这种人
And Stephanie calls people like that
为“对话的人”
"people who talk to one another."
我们在家也经常这么做
And we do that at home all the time.
我们会说“早上好”
We'll be like, "Good morning."
“早上好”
"Good morning."
“我做了早餐”
"I've made breakfast."
“看起来很好吃 谢谢”
"It looks delicious. Thank you."
“好了 我得去上班了”
"Well, I'd better be off to work."