瘟疫（2025）

我跟你说了 -什么
I told you. -Huh? Yeah, that's -
就是 只能选一个
Exactly. Can only choose one.
你是想口♥交♥但可以做♥爱♥
Would you rather suck a dick but you can have sex,
还是 不口
但永远也不能做♥爱♥
but you can never have sex again.
不会吧 永远不能做♥爱♥是什么鬼 -怎么了
No, never have sex again? -What's up?
该死 什么事
Damn. What's good?
额 我就是听说你是前辈
Uh, I just -I heard you're a vet.
前辈是什么 -就
What is a vet? -Uh, like -
就是说上一♥期♥你就来了
Like you were here last session.
哦 对
Oh, yeah, I was.
我本该只参加第一♥期♥的
I was supposed to just stay for first session
可我爸搞错了 把两期的钱都付了
but my dad fucked up and paid for both,
又退不了款 所以我只能留下
and he couldn't get a refund, so I had to stay.
他意识到的时候都快气疯了
He was so pissed when he realized.
你们真该看看他当时的表情 老天爷
You should have seen his face. Holy shit.
其他都有谁啊
Uh, who are the others?
前辈吗 我 罗根 -怎么了
Vets? Me, Logan.. -What's up?
马特 你可以回去了
...Matt. You can go
什么一蒂基和伊莱
What? -Ticky and Eli
伊莱是前辈吗
Eli's a vet?
可惜是的
Sadly
我不知道 我就
I don't know, I just...
觉得你应该球技很有长进了吧
thought you're supposed to, like, improve or something.
只有试试才知道
Only if you try.
喂 朱利安 -怎么了
Yo, Julian. -What?
这什么情况 跟玩抢椅子游戏似的
Uh, so what's with the whole, like, musical chairs-y thing?
什么
What
比如午饭的时候 -哦 瘟疫吗
Uh, like at lunch with.. -Oh, the Plague?
伊莱得了瘟疫
Eli's got the Plague.
哥们儿 这可不是开玩笑 你听说过麻风病吗
It's not funny, bro. You ever heard of leprosy?
伊莱有麻风病吗
Eli's a leper?
麻风病人并非真实存在 却存在与之类似的病
Lepers aren't real, but similar
没有官方诊断结果的
There's no official prognosis,
我们都叫它瘟疫
so we call it the Plague.
这些可不是普通的痘痘
Like, those aren't regular pimples.
这些是瘟疫疙瘩 这叫作瘟疫脸
Those are Plague pimples. That's a Plague face.
哥们儿 我跟你讲哈
Like, I'm telling you, bro,
几周前他脸上连颗痘都没有
he didn't have pimples a few weeks ago.
就是有了瘟疫之类的玩意儿
That's some Plague shit right there.
几天以后
A few days later,
他浑身都起了可怕的红疹子
he gets a freaky ass rash all over his body.
你们觉得他为什么总穿这件衣服
Like, why do you think he wears that shirt all the time?
你们以为这是什么新潮流吗
You think that's a fashion statement?
不是的 哥们儿
Nah, bro,
是被瘟疫逼得
that's some Plague shit.
接着 它会攻击神经系统
Next thing, it infects the nervous system.
破坏运动功能
breaks down motor skills.
你撞到东西 就会绊倒自己
You bump into some things, trip over yourself.
你会开始犯错
You start dropping shit
眼神交流或正常对话
Normal things like eye contact
这类基本能力
or the ability to hold a regular conversation
都不复存在
just goes out the window.
你的大脑会变成婴儿吃的糊糊
Turns your brain to baby food.
脑子没了 什么也就没了
No brain, no nothing
我的意思是 他是不是
So, I mean, shouldn't he
该去看医生啊
shouldn't he, like, see a doctor?
他去过 确诊了疱疹之类的东西
I mean, he has. It's like herpes.
无药可救
No cure for him.
所以就跟传染病一样吗
it's like conta
的确难以置信 但这病只能通过接触传播
Incredibly, but only through touch
所以如果你暴露在
So if you're exposed..
哥们儿 你得赶紧去洗个澡了
Oh, man, you just gotta wash yourself like stat.
怎么 是觉得太冷了吗 汤哥
What? Too cold for you, Soppy?
不啊 挺好 -“不啊 挺好’
Uh, no. It's good. -"No, it's, um, good."
汤哥 你泡妞都没资格
Soppy, you get no bitches.
汤哥 你哪儿人
Soppy, where are you from?
额 “波斯顿” -什么
Um, "Boson." -Huh?
“波斯顿”-“波斯顿”
"Boson." -"Boson"?
他刚才说的啥
Like, what did he just say?
“波斯顿”吗 是波士顿
"Boson"? Boston.
你在“波斯顿”混啊 -“波斯顿”
You "boson" around? -"Boson.'
他发不出T的音来
He can't pronounce the T.
嘿 这是伊莱坐的位置
Yo, yo, that's where Eli was sitting.
他已经被感染了
Like, he's infected.
他传染性好强
He's contagious!
杰克得了瘟疫
Jake's got the Plague!
杰克得了瘟疫 杰克得了瘟疫
Jake's got the Plague! Jake's got the Plague!
杰克得了瘟疫
Jake's got thePlague!
杰克 杰克 杰克 瘟疫
Jake, Jake, Jake, Plague!
杰克得了瘟疫
Jake has the Plague!
我还好好的吧
Am I good?
切尔西·西蒙尼
Chelsea Simone.
凯特·富尔顿
Kate Fulton.
谢莉·王
Shelly Wong.
梅莉·雪莉
Smelly Shelly?
哥们儿 你就是对亚洲人情有独钟
Bro, I swear you're all about the Asians.
给我闭嘴
Dude, shut up!
看 我就偏爱亚洲混血
See, I'm all about the half-Asians.
混了哪儿的血
Which half?
我不知道 左半边吗 -什么
I don't know, the left half? -What?
润肤露在哪儿
Where that Lubriderm at?
我给蒂基了
I gave it to Ticky.
你怎么这么爱用润滑剂
Why are you such a lube hog?
汤哥 你在想什么呢
Soppy, what are you thinking about right now?
快点 老实交代
Come on, spit it out.
额
Um,
我在想之前看到的那个女孩
I'm just thinking about this girl I saw earlier.
好吧 -什么姑娘
Okay. -What girl?
小妞儿 -她住加拿大吗
Puss-ay. -She live in Canada?
颜♥射♥
Bukkake.
谁给这哥们儿整点润滑剂
Yo, someone get this man some lube.
跟我讲讲她吧
Yo, tell me about her.
我们都想听
We all want to hear it.
汤哥
Soppy.
额
Um,
我正想像着
I'm picturing her
她站在淋浴间里
standing in the shower,
给自己洗澡
washing herself.
好吧
Okay.
突然 她
Suddenly she..
开始 抚摸自己
Starts, like, rubbing herself
然后
and...
她跟我说
she tells me how, like...
她下面有多湿
wet she is.
哦 该死 汤哥 这可太带劲儿了
Ooh, damn, Soppy. That's some hardcore shit.
我快射了
I'm close.
别停
Don't stop.
然后
And, um...
我射了
I just came.
我没骗你 我也射了
I'm not gonna lie, so did I.
额 抱歉
Uh, sorry.
我也射了
I did too. So.
一样
Same.
我感觉我永远都结不了婚了
I don't think I'll ever get married.
什么 -可能五十岁能结吧
What? -Maybe when I'm like 50.
成千上万的海盗在海上集结
Millions of pirates swarming the sea.
你♥爸♥现在都六十了吧
Your dad's like 60 right now?
扯什么淡呢
What are you talking about?
要是海盗不喝香槟怎么办
What if pirates don't drink champagne, though?
如果他们光会“哦哦哦”的喊怎么办