女性思维（2017）

什么都没有 好吗?
Nothing, okay?
没有!
Nothing!
宝贝 我只是试着帮忙
Babe, I'm just tryin' to help.
不要试图帮忙
Don't try to help.
好的 因为当你尝试帮助时 你的男朋友
Okay, 'cause when you try and help, your boyfriend
回家看起来像阿童木
comes home looking like a fucking Astro Boy.
所以不要尝试和帮助
So don't try and help.
莱克茜 我要告诉你会发生什么
Lexi, I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen.
你在听么?
Are you listening?
我要上楼了
I'm gonna go upstairs.
我要去洗澡 我要去洗掉
I'm gonna take a shower, I'm gonna wash
这该死的巴西毒药
this fucking Brazilian poison out of my hair.
我要把我的与生俱来的头发弄回来
And I'm gonna get my birth hair back.
上帝知道 我的头发很配我的脸型
The hair that God knew matched my face.
艹!
Fuck!
好的 这个尝起来像葡萄酒
Okay, this one tastes like wine.
嗯
Mm.
好的
Okay.
这个味道也像葡萄酒一样 我们能走了吗?
This one tastes like wine too, can we go?
不行!
No!
我们呆在这
We're stayin'.
我不想浪费我们的团购券
I don't wanna waste our Groupon.
为什么我们不能去车♥库♥喝伏特加
Why can't we just go drink vodka in the garage,
像普通人一样?
like normal people?
因为这很性感 我们正在做性感又有趣的事情
'Cause this is sexy, we're doing sexy fun things
所以我们不会像一对老夫老妻
so that we're not like an old married couple.
所以我喝酒开车带你回家对你来说很性感?
So me driving us home drunk is sexy to you?
你能认真对待这件事吗?
Can you take this seriously, please?
好吧
Fine.
哦 你永远猜不到这个尝起来像什么
Oh, you're never gonna guess what this one tastes like.
像什么?
Like what?
陈年老窖
Old-ass grapes.
我在开玩笑
I'm just kidding.
这尝起来像马尿
It tastes like piss.
好的 我们真的 真的要去
Okay, we're really, we're really going
看一部无声电影?
to a silent movie?
真的?
For real?
嘘!
Shh!
你想来点什么口味的?
What flavor of diet will you enjoy?
我不吃 我不饿 谢谢
I don't, I'm good, thank you.
给她来8个热狗 不要面包
She'll have eight hot dogs, no bun.
一包葡萄干
A pack of Red Vines.
而且 呃 来点水果 谢谢
And, uh, Fruity Things, please?
不要热狗 – 不要热狗
No hot dogs. - No hot dogs.
我在逗她 - 不要 谢谢
I'm teasing. - No, please.
你知道 我迫不及待想和自己的孩子一起来吗?
You know, I can't wait to do this with my own kids?
我想要11个孩子
I want 11 kids.
我 我 这不关我事
I'm, I'm, that doesn't work on me.
哦 是的 我忘了 你不是女孩
Oh, that's right, you're not a girl, I forgot.
呃 所以 呃 问个问题?
Uh, so, uh, question?
为什么 你为什么要参加我的研究?
Why, why are you doing my study?
我的意思是 这显然不是为了钱
I mean, it's obviously not for the money.
你最好相信这是为了钱
You better believe it's for the money.
我 我现在可以用现金付账
I, I'm, I'm paying for this with cold hard cash.
好的 哦!
Okay, oh!
对不起
I'm sorry.
失礼了
That was disrespectful.
说真的 你为什么参加我的研究?
Seriously, why are you even in my study?
我不知道 如果没有回报的话?
I don't know, like, if it only pays like nothing?
哦 我的叔叔 他是社科学院的负责人
Oh, my uncle, he was the head of the social science
在我大学 他说 你知道
department in my college and he said, you know,
普通人 他们从不接受这样的研究
Regular people, they never take the studies so.
确实
That's true.
当我有空的时候 呃 是的 我报名了
When I have the free time, uh, yeah, I sign up.
我知道 我是最好的
I know, I'm the best.
好的 我明白了
Okay, I get it.
你很迷人
You're charming.
我知道了
I get it.
我进去等你
I'll see you in there.
哦 呃
Oh, uh.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我们不是 我们不在一起
We're not, we're not together.
[凯文] 艾格尼丝 你是最美丽的女人
[Kevin] Agnes, you're the most beautiful woman
整个世界都不能与你媲美
in the whole wide world.
[朱莉娅] 你能停下吗 拜托了?
[Julia] Would you stop it, please?
我可不会说
I'm not gonna say.
来吧 试一试吧!
Come on, just try it!
这不是一个科学项目
It's not a scientific project.
你好傻
You're silly.
我没法为一个这么老的电影配音
I can't do an old timey movie voice.
那就变老一点!
Grow up!
来吧
Come on.
选个角色
Be a person.
我爱你
I love you.
为什么你的角色听起来肺气肿?
Why does yours have emphysema?
看看他!
Look at him!
天啊
Oh, man.
让我们私奔吧
Let's run away together.
哦 但我穿着40磅的灯笼裤
Oh, but I'm wearing 40 pounds of bloomers.
我很难走路 更不用说跑步了
I can hardly walk, much less run.
为什么你的声音比我的还低沉?
Why is your voice deeper than mine?
我不知道
I don't know.
我不知道 我只是 那是当时的情况
I don't know, I'm just, that's how it was back then.
然后我们会待在这里 并拥有后代
Then we'll stay here and have offspring.
祝你抚养他们好运 因为我会在分娩时死去
Good luck raising them since I'll die in childbirth.
磁共振结果怎么样?
What did your MRI say?
[电♥话♥] 我发现半月板有轻微的撕裂
[Phone] I found a slight tear in the meniscus.
但感觉还行
But it feels good.
好吧 你不一定会有这种感觉
Well, you wouldn't necessarily feel it.
所以愈合并没有提前
So the healing isn't ahead of schedule,
而是正常水平?
but it is on schedule?
没错
Correct.
你正在康复
You're on track.
好吧
All right.
谢谢
Thanks.
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
当然
Sure.
佐伊!
Zoe!
你在哪?
Where are you?
你好?
Hello?
哦 不 不!
Oh, no, no!
哦 我的天!
Oh, my God!
哦 我的天!
Oh, my God!
不 哦 天啊 不!
No, oh, God, no!
格雷格!
Greg!
你在做什么?
What are you doing?
别看!
Don't look!
没什么!
Nothing!
这不 你不应该在这里
Look, this not, you should not be here.
不 这是 不!
No, this is, no!
你在做什么?
What are you doing?
出去!
Get out!
你刚刚爽到哪了?
What are you even jerking off to?
抱歉
Excuse me.
不要那么说
Don't say that.
不 不要 不要看那个
No, don't, don't look at that.
啦啦队?
Cheerleader?
有点难以置信 你不觉得吗?
A little on the nose, don't you think?
这只是 刚打开而已
That is the, like, the first thing that comes up.
这可不是刚打开
That's not the first thing that comes up.