同床异梦（1965）

很久很久以前 确切地说 是七年前
Narrator: Once upon a time, seven years ago, to be exact,
一位名叫卡特·哈里森的美国小伙来到英国
a young American named Carter Harrison came to england.
他被任命为联合石油公♥司♥产品的
He had been appointed assistant British sales manager
英国区助理销♥售♥经理
of inter-allied petroleum products.
那是他初次来到伦敦 初次在这里散步
It was on his first day in London, on his very first stroll,
初次与安东妮娅·文森特相识
that he met antonia vincente.
这是一场偶遇 她是一名画家
It was a casual meeting. She was a painter.
她再三表示歉意 但当前最需要的是用松节油稀释
She was profusely apologetic, but what was needed was turpentine.
而她恰好知道能上哪弄到一些
And she knew precisely where to find some.
于是她把刷子扔给了自己的大胡子好友哈里·琼斯
So she gave the brush to her bearded friend, Harry Jones,
然后二人一同前往她的单间公♥寓♥
and they started out for her studio flat.
尽管她出身自意大利血统
Though she came from Italian parentage,
但东妮基本上是波西米亚人 英国的波西米亚人
Toni was basically bohemian, British bohemian.
她的画作都是印象派 她本人也是如此
Her work was impressionist, and so was she,
印象主义至上
very impressionist.
毫无疑问 东妮是第一印象主义者
No doubt about it, Toni was a creature of first impressions,
一个品味非常明确的女人
a woman of very definite tastes.
看见喜欢的东西就会知道自己喜欢
She knew what she liked when she saw what she liked.
看见想要的东西
And she knew what she wanted
就会清楚自己想要
when she saw what she wanted.
幸运的是 她喜欢和想要的也正好是他喜欢和想要的
Fortunately, what she liked and wanted was exactly what he liked and wanted,
因为他们在24小时之后就结婚了
because 24 hours later they were married.
于是日子就这样一天天过去 直到他们有爱的冬眠结束
And so the days and weeks went by until their lovely hibernation was over,
是时候走入生活的春天 来面对现实了
and it was time to come out into the spring of life and face reality.
其中一个卡特不得不面对的现实是 东妮不仅是位画家
And one of the realities Carter had to face was that Toni was not only a painter,
同时还是一位拥有非常明确信仰的木匠
she was also a joiner with very definite beliefs,
而那些信仰与他的恰好相反
all of which were the exact opposite of his.
一开始这似乎只是个玩笑 但突然间就不好笑了
It seemed a joke at first, but suddenly it stopped being funny.
他们没有一处合得来 无论是政♥治♥ 婚姻 食物
They agreed on nothing, politics, polygamy, peanut butter,
还是艺术 任何你能想到的
pushkin, you name it!
他们打响了自己的"不列颠之战" 一场唇枪舌战
They fought their own battle of britain, a battle of words.
当言语败下阵时 她便诉诸于纯粹的意大利人逻辑
And when words failed, she resorted to pure Italian logic.
当逻辑失灵时 颜料罐就会飞出去
When logic failed, paint pots flew.
由于她的准头比她的英文水平要高
Since her aim was better than her english,
卡特做了一个绅士唯一能做的事情
Carter did the only thing a gentleman could do.
那就是抓上自己的裤子逃命
He grabbed his pants and ran for his life.
于是 随着他们的婚姻连同餐具一起在他头顶打破 卡特走了
Thus, as their marriage and crockery broke over his head, Carter left.
他离开了东妮 离开了他们的爱巢 离开了伦敦
He left Toni, he left the love nest, he left London.
在之后七个和平而有成效的年头里
And for seven peaceful and productive years,
他们再也没有见面 交谈 叫骂 甚至写过信
they didn't meet or speak or shriek or even write.
此时的卡特已经成为了联合石油的重要主管
Carter had now become an important executive with inter-allied,
公♥司♥的最高谈判代表之一
one of their top negotiators,
一个会将他派往地球上最偏远角落的职务
a job which took him to the far corners of the earth.
也就是说 酋长他同意这里的所有石油储备…
In other words, the sheik agrees that all oil deposits in this area
都只交给美国联合石油公♥司♥开♥发♥ 是吗?
shall be developed solely by inter-allied petroleum products of America?
没错 -很好
That is correct. Good.
能帮我转告殿下这些炸葡萄非常美味吗?
Will you please convey to his highness that these fried grapes are delicious?
哦 那不是炸葡萄
Oh. They are not fried grapes.
不是? -不 它们是…
They're not? No. They are...
很好吃
Delicious.
如此一来 工作就完成了 卡特乘上飞往伦敦的第一架航♥班♥
So, his job done, Carter took the first plane to London,
他要在那里与两位非常昂贵的律师开一个紧急会议
where he had an urgent meeting with two very expensive lawyers,
因为 经过了七年幸福而又彻底的分居后
because, after seven years of total and blissful separation,
东妮终于提出了离婚
Toni had finally requested a divorce.
同床异梦
联合石油赢得中东石油开♥发♥权 卡特·哈里森立下汗马功劳
在大企业 "成功"和"离婚"并非总能和谐共存
In big business, success and divorce do not always mix.
因此公♥司♥派出了迪克·布拉威尔
So the company sent dick bramwell,
业界最犀利的公♥关♥人员 去往伦敦
sharpest public relations man in the business, to London.
布拉威尔必须快速行动 因为他知道25分钟内
Bramwell had to move fast, because he knew that in exactly 25 minutes
卡特将要参加一个会议 而那很可能会断送他的大好前程
Carter would be attending a meeting which could very well bring an abrupt end to a very promising career.
什么叫不要离婚? 谁想出来好主意?
What do you mean, no divorce? Whose brilliant idea is that?
哦 不过是一位叫J.L.史蒂文斯的杰出伙计
Oh, just a brilliant chap by the name of j.L. Stevens.
你说大佬? -没错
The old man? That's right.
他视自己为造王者
Fancies himself a king maker.
而你被考量过适不适合王冠了 -为什么?
You're being measured for a crown. Why?
拜托 卡特 你一定是在开玩笑
Oh, come on Carter. You've got to be joshing.
J.L.垂涎那些石油开♥发♥租约已经好多年了
J.l.'s had his tongue hanging out for those leases for years,
而你把它们放在巨大的聚光灯下献给了他
看看这些 头版头条
look at this, front pages right down the line.
是是是 -看看它们 晋升时间到了 朋友
Yeah, yeah. Look at 'em! It's promotion time, friend
而你就要拿到最大奖赏了
and you're in for something large.
多大? -不知道 但这得经过最高层批准
How large? I don't know but it's gonna take top brass approval.
我该穿哪件衬衫? -哦 拜托 你根本没认真听
Which shirt shall I wear? Oh come on. You're not even listening!
这是你这辈子最大的机遇
This is the biggest thing that's ever happened to you.
你不知道下周波士顿的年度董事会议上
Don't you realize big daddy's gonna spring this at the annual board meeting
大佬就要宣布此事吗?
next week in Boston?
是吗 -是的
Yeah? Yeah.
所以我才这样急着赶来帮你整顿形象
That's why there's such a hurry for me to get over here and clean up your image.
我的形象怎么了?
What's wrong with my image?
你说得好像我被评为年度麻风病人一样
You make it sound like I've been named leper of the year.
你该知道董事会的心理
Well you know the mentality of that board.
他们热衷于企业形象的理念
They're hipped on the idea of a corporate image,
可靠的美国绅士 受人尊敬的家庭
solid American gentry, family respectability.
对于他们的高管层 虽无诫命十条 但有一个规矩
For their top executives there are not ten commandments, only one.
必须是已婚人士 且婚姻幸福体面
Thou shalt be married, happily and respectably married.
也不管你乐不乐意 -就是这样
Whether you like it or not. That's right.
我过去七年的分居生活过得既幸福又体面
I've done just fine these past seven years happily and respectably separated!
是啊 -而我享受它的每一分一秒
Yeah. And I've loved every minute of it.
是啊 从今以后你可就要改头换面了
Yeah, well that's all gonna change. From now on, you're gonna have a new look.
不再是无忧无虑的已婚单身汉
No more gay, married bachelor.
而是卡特·哈里森 顾家型好男人
It's got to be Carter Harrison, family man.
我看你脑子坏了
You are out of your skull.
卡特 当波士顿的董事会议召开之时
Carter, when that board meets in Boston,
你就能像洋基之歌♥里唱的那样骑上纯金的小马进城
you can be yankee doodle riding your town on a solid gold pony.
坐拥六位数收入 私人飞机
Income in six figures, a private plane,
私人游艇 还有棕榈滩豪♥宅♥
your own yacht, a house in palm beach.
全是你的 而你要做的就是下个礼拜出现在波士顿
It's yours. All you need to do is show up in Boston week after next
并带上你那位体面的妻子出席 -算了吧
with one reasonably respectable wife. Forget it.
什么算了 -你刚才说的那些
Forget what? What you just said.
洋基之歌♥ 纯金小马 所有这一切 都忘了吧
Yankee doodle, solid gold pony, the whole bit. Just plain forget it.
你不知道我娶的是什么样的疯女人
You don't know what kind of a nut I was married to.
不 我不知道 怎么个疯法?
No, no I don't. What kind of a nut was she?
她有一半是意大利混血的癫婆 那就是她
She was a half-Italian fruitcake, that's what she was.
哦 听上去不算太糟 那另一半呢
Oh, that doesn't sound too bad. What was the other half?
性感迷人
Gorgeous.
所以你当初怎么会娶到那位性感迷人的癫婆?
What did you go around marrying gorgeous fruitcakes for in the first place?
我不知道 那是个寒冬之夜 而她家有电热毯
I don't know. It was a cold night. She had an electric blanket.
都七年了 为何拖这么久才要离婚?
It was seven years ago. What took so long getting around to a divorce?
因为没什么特别急的理由
Well, there was no particular rush.
听着 卡特 政♥治♥利益能让陌生人联姻
Look Carter, politics makes strange bedfellows.
大企业为何不可?
Why not big business?
做个交易 就一个月 先别离婚
Make a deal. For one month, you stay married.
没门 -一个月都不行?
No chance. For one month?
搞不定 和东妮行不通 这么跟你说吧
No deal. Not with Toni. Let me tell you something.
她就是个脾气暴躁 波西米亚式的怪咖
She was a crackpot, a bohemian, a hothead.
你懂那种人的 她过去还常穿牛仔裤洗澡
You know the kind. She used to take a bath in her blue jeans
只为了确保它们足够紧
to make sure they'd be tight enough.
Hmph.
Hmph.
她不可能同意这种交易 我也不会求她
She wouldn't consider this sort of deal, and I wouldn't ask her.
也许她已经变了
Maybe she's changed.
是啊 她变了 那就出了鬼了
Yeah, she's changed. From terrible to impossible.
听着 打给J.L.告诉他如果他们愿意接受现在的我 那很好
Look, call j.L. Tell him if they want me the way I am, that's fine.
如果不行 那就算了 -他会拒绝你的
If not, forget it. He'll turn you down.
这就是人生 -是这样 然后呢
That's life. That's it, then?
就这样吧
That's it.
知道吗 对于一个一心只想和那位穿超紧牛仔裤…
You know for a fellow who's only going to
有一半意大利血统的癫婆离婚的家伙来说
discuss a divorce with a half-Italian fruitcake in overtight blue jeans,
你把自己捯饬的过于帅气和香喷喷
you're looking and smelling awfully pretty.
夜色还早
Evening's young.
谁知道呢 没准待会能有艳遇
Who knows? I might get lucky later.
是啊