反同运动的前世今生（2020）

Marriage between a man and a woman is the ideal,
总统的工作是将政策推向理想
and the job of the president is to drive policy toward the ideal.
耶！
就在午夜之后
Just after midnight,
数千人在马萨诸塞州 庆祝曾经的梦想变成了现实
thousands celebrated what was once just a dream in Massachusetts.
出埃及对政♥治♥最重要的价值
The most important investment Exodus made into politics
是关于婚姻的斗争
was over the marriage battle.
那对我们来说非常重要
That was so important to us
因为我们在提倡一种理想化的生活
because we were promoting an idealized version of life.
对于我们教会中的人来讲
Gay marriage felt like an existential threat
同性婚姻对我们的理想化目标 是一种威胁
against our idealized goals for people in our ministries.
他们从自己的文化中看到 与自己真正喜欢和爱的人结婚
They were seeing the culture say it's healthy and good
是健康和美好的
to marry the person that you're truly attracted to and love.
我们必须反驳这一观点
Well, we had to counter that message.
想知道我为什么 那么努力为婚姻问题斗争吗？
You wanna know why I fight so hard for the marriage issue?
2008年
出埃及年会
想知道我为什么 那么努力为婚姻问题斗争吗？
You wanna know why I fight so hard for the marriage issue?
2008年
出埃及年会
因为婚姻超越了我们对它的理解
Because marriage transcends what we understand of it
2008年
出埃及年会
2008年
出埃及年会
而且带有上帝的形象
and bears the image of God.
2008年
出埃及年会
而且带有上帝的形象
and bears the image of God.
在加州同性♥伴♥侣♥结婚已经合法化了
Same-sex couples have been getting legally married in California,
但如果8号♥提案通过 婚礼将会停止
but the ceremonies will stop if Proposition 8 passes,
该提案将修改加州宪法
amending California's constitution
将婚姻仅定义为
so it defines marriage as only between one man
一男一女之间
and one woman.
我从2008年夏天开始为出埃及工作
I started working for Exodus in the summer of 2008,
就在大选之前
so right before the elections.
加入后我立即开始了8号♥提案的工作
And I went to work on the Prop 8 campaign immediately.
我受邀参加那个活动
I was invited to this event,
那里有摄像机
and they had cameras there
这样整个加州教会里的人
so that people in churchesxa0all across
都能看到我们在举办的活动
the state of California could watch this event that we're putting on.
我无意冒犯 但男人和女人的
I don't mean to be crass, but men and women's body parts
身体部位可以结合在一起 成为一个有机体系
fit together to become a single organism…
从而…
…for…
从而创造出下一代
…for the purpose of creating children.
如果性取向
If sexual orientation
或性吸引力是我们准许结婚的基础
or sexual attractions were the basis upon which we were allowed to marry,
那么恋童癖者应该被允 许与六、七、八岁的孩子结婚
then pedophiles would have to be allowed to marry six-, seven-, eight-year-olds.
母亲们和儿子们
Mothers and sons,
兄弟姐♥妹♥们♥ 任何的结合都必须得到允许
sisters and brothers, any-- any combination would have to be allowed.
很多一部分讲的是滑坡理论
A big part of the message was the slippery slope argument.
好吧 你现在是说 两个女人或者两个男人可以
Okay, so you're saying two women or two men now,
那以后会变成什么？
but then what's it gonna become?
我只是知道人们的恐惧
It's just knowing the fears that people have.
如果他们持观望态度 我要说什么
What is it that I can say that is really going to scare them,
才能真正吓到他们？
if they're on the fence?
很多人都持观望态度
And a lot of people were on the fence
有点矛盾的态度 人们会想
and just sort of ambivalent one way or the other, and you think,
“谁在乎这对我有什么影响？
"Oh well, you know, who cares how this is gonna affect me?"
瞧好了 这就是对你的影响”
"This is how it's gonna affect you."
为8号♥提案举♥行♥祈祷集♥会♥
教会强调说： “你们要在这个问题上投赞成票”
Churches made a point of saying, "You are voting yes on this."
为8号♥提案举♥行♥祈祷集♥会♥
教会强调说： “你们要在这个问题上投赞成票”
Churches made a point of saying, "You are voting yes on this."
我相信这就是推进8号♥提案的力量
I'm convinced that this is what pushed Prop 8 over,
是它通过的原因
why it passed.
是上帝的仁慈让我们忏悔
It's the kindness of God that leads us to repent.
是上帝的仁慈…
It's the kindness of God…
很多教堂聚集在一起
So many churches coming together.
在8号♥提案前 我从没见过这样的事情
I've never seen something like that happen before,
从来都没有过
ever, before Prop 8.
8号♥提案通过时
When Prop 8 passed,
我当时还不是奥巴马的支持者
I was not an Obama supporter at the time.
当时我说：“真是的 奥巴马赢了”
Back then, I was like, "Ugh, Obama won."
你知道吗？
You know?
但是8号♥提案通过了！
But Prop 8 passed!
我在社交媒体上强撑着自己
You know, and I was talking up a good game on social media.
数千人在加州游♥行♥
Thousands marched in California,
抗♥议♥选举之夜通过8号♥提案
protesting the election night passage of Proposition 8.
大批人群抗♥议♥禁止同性婚姻的
A massive protest on the passagexa0of Proposition 8,
8号♥提案通过
the ban on same-sex marriage.
我从未有过这种感觉…
I had never felt such a sense of…
感觉自己低人一等
of being less of a person.
-你哭了 -对
- You're crying. -Yeah.
我为我们的州感到羞耻
I'm just ashamed of our state.
紧急新闻 8号♥提案
旧金山
目击式新闻丨高清
但我永远不会忘记那个晚上 看着新闻时的心情
But I'll never forget that night, watching the news.
紧急新闻 8号♥提案
旧金山
目击式新闻丨高清
紧急新闻 8号♥提案
旧金山
目击式新闻丨高清
看到和我一类的人们
Seeing my community…
当时我没有意识到 但我心里知道
Back then, I didn't realize it, but I knew in my heart.
看着和我一类的人们走上街头
Watching my community take to the streets…
哀悼8号♥提案通过
and mourning the passage of Prop 8.
当我看电视的时候
When I looked at the TV,
我内心有一个声音说
and a voice inside me said,
“你怎么能这样对自己人？”
"How could you do that to your own people?"
我看到那些人在哭
And I saw these men crying.
我知道他们的梦想被粉碎了
And I knew that their dreams had just been shattered.
从那以后我就无法像以前那样说话了
And I couldn't talk the same way after that.
我们
都值得
拥有
结婚的
自♥由♥
8号♥等于仇恨
8号♥提案之后 我开始极度焦虑
After Prop 8, I started having extreme anxiety,
恐慌发作
panic attacks.
我们开车去参加出埃及会议
We were driving down to an Exodus conference,
大概开了两个小时
and we were probably two hours into the drive,
我就开始恐慌发作了
and I started having a panic attack.
每当我要做一些与出埃及 或者前同性恋
Every time I'm going to do something that's related to Exodus
有关的事情时
or ex-gay things,
我就会恐慌发作
I'm gonna have these panic attacks.
我还是不知道
I still didn't know.
我不知道为什么
I didn't know why.
美国职业心理学学校
我见到一位心理治疗师
I met with this therapist,
她说：“很明显你有创伤
and she said, "Obviously you have trauma here,
因为你表现出的症状 像是创伤后应激障碍”
because you're exhibiting symptoms that are more like PTSD."
就在那时 我才真正明白
And that's when it really started to dawn on me.
我出问题了
There's something wrong.
这状况甚至不是有意识的
So it wasn't even conscious.
一开始更多是身体上的
It was more physical at first,
我的身体不允许我继续下去了
where my body just would not allow me to continue.
当我们谈起前同性恋运动的时候
When we're talking about the ex-gay movement,
主旨是想成为团体的一部分
it's wanting to be part of a group.
想要有归属
It's wanting to belong,
这些都是我的同类人
and here are my people.
和我一样挣扎的人
Here are people who have the same struggles as I do.
所以你要遵守团体的规则
So you're goingxa0to abide by the rules of the group.
即使有羞耻感
And even if there's shame involved,
对于你所得到的东西来说 似乎只是一个很小的代价
it seems like a small price to pay for what you're getting.
这是贯穿我们的工作 来理解羞耻的…
That was the major theme throughout our work…
是的
Yeah.
…主要主题
…to understand shame.
这种“我错了”的内在感觉 令人感到羞耻
Shamexa0being this inherent feeling of, "I am wrong."
-对 -“我很糟糕”
-Right. -"I am bad."
我认为我们所有人都一直在努力 设法解决这一问题
I think we all struggle all the time with trying to manage that.
现在在你的人生中 没有人会告诉你要做什么
You're in a place now in your life where nobody's gonna tell you what to do,