杰克茜

Does she have Pokemon GO?
Pokemon GO：又名口袋妖怪 任天堂手♥机♥游♥戏♥
没有
No.
这个贱♥人♥什么都做不了啊
Wow, this chick can't do anything.
她他妈的糟透了
She fucking sucks.
天呐 快闭嘴 好吗
Jesus, just stop, okay?
天哪
God!
对不起 是我失控了 菲尔
I'm sorry for losing my shit, Phil.
我只剩3%的电量了
I only have 3% charge,
你知道这会逼疯我的
and you know how crazy that makes me.
好吧 我也很抱歉
Okay, I'm sorry, too.
我马上给你充电
I'll plug you in.
谢谢 菲尔 我讨厌我们吵架
Thank you, Phil. I hate it when we fight.
多拿我一会儿 菲尔
Hold me a little longer, Phil.
用两只手
Use both hands.
抚摸我 菲尔
Swipe me, Phil.
像以前那样抚摸我
Swipe me like you used to.
行了 我受不了了
Okay, I'm done.
等等 别走
Wait. No, don't go.
晚安
Goodnight.
别把我关在门外 菲尔
Do not close the door on me, Phil.
你会为此付出代价的 你个混♥蛋♥
You are going to pay for this, you motherfucker.
该死 该死的
Shit! Damn it!
嗨 杰克茜
Hey, Jexi!
我上班要迟到了 你的闹铃为什么没响
I'm going to be late for work. Why didn't your alarm go off?
因为你是个渣男
Because you are a douche
而且我还是对你非常非常生气
and I am still really, really mad at you.
天杀的
Goddamn it!
还有 今天的天气是26摄氏度的晴天
Also, the weather today will be 80 degrees and sunny.
才不是26摄氏度的晴天 杰克茜
It's not 80 degrees and sunny, Jexi!
我知道 我故意骗你的
I know. I lied.
杰克茜 搜索最快上班的路线
Jexi, find the fastest route to work.
我找到了最快的路线
I found the fastest route.
你到公♥司♥的时间为 三天内
You will arrive at work in... ...three days.
三天
Three days?
你为什么要我跨过俄勒冈州去上班 杰克茜
Why do you have me driving through Oregon to go to work, Jexi?
如果你想要最快的路线 去问你女朋友
If you want a faster route, go ask your girlfriend.
对了 那贱♥人♥都没有谷歌♥地图
Oh, wait. That bitch doesn't even have Google Maps.
对 就是他
Yeah, that's him.
兄弟 你到底在想什么
Dude, what the hell were you thinking?
为啥 发生什么事了
Why, what's up?
不 不 不
Oh! No, no, no!
你们手♥机♥上怎么会有这些
Why are those on your phones?
这些照片在我们手♥机♥上
They're on our phones,
是因为你发了53张你老二的照片
because you sent 53 pictures of your dick
给公♥司♥里的每一个人
to everyone in the company.
不会吧 公♥司♥里每一个人
No. Everyone in the company?
对 大家都气死了
Yeah, and everyone is pissed.
其实 卡萝尔很兴奋
Actually, Carol's pretty psyched.
该死 凯来了
Oh, shit. Kai's coming.
操 兄弟 别丢下我
Fuck. Dude, don't leave me.
兄弟 别走啊
Dude, don't leave me.
嗨
Hi.
你觉得这很有趣吗 兄弟
Do you think this is funny, bro?
没有 完全没有
No, I do not.
我没有发那些照片 我向上帝发誓
And I did not send those. I swear to God.
不 你发了 你昨晚发的
Yes, you did. You did it last night.
我打赌你肯定他妈嗑药嗑嗨了
I bet you were fucking high.
不 我没有
No, I wasn't...
上帝啊 我他妈嗑药了
Oh, my God. I was fucking high.
好了 第一 你被炒了
Okay, first of all, you're fired.
第二 你为什么
And second of all, why are you
要在该死的老二的照片里竖大拇指
doing the thumbs up in a fucking dick pic?
这不该是你拍这些照片时的心情
This is the wrong emotion for a dick pic.
我讨厌这张照片 兄弟
I hate this picture, bro.
他妈的真讨厌
Fucking hate it!
我不敢相信你害我被炒了
I can't believe you got me fired.
不是我害你被炒的 菲尔
I did not get you fired, Phil.
是你昨晚发的那些照片
You sent those photographs last night,
因为你昨晚在卡迪小子的傻♥逼♥派对上嗑嗨了
because you were high on Kid Cudi's sick-ass weed.
我不知道
I don't know.
我不会干这种蠢事儿的
I don't think I'd do something like that.
人嗑嗨了后什么都干得出来 菲尔
People do crazy shit when they are high, Phil.
想想加里·布塞
Just look at Gary Busey.
Gary Busey：美国演员 1995年5月因使用可♥卡♥因♥而被捕 过度吸毒险些丧命
还记得你给我讲的那个
Remember that one joke you told me
-关于猫的笑话吗 -当然记得
- about the cat? - I do!
你好啊 菲尔 你怎么来了
Hey, Phil, what are you doing here?
早啊 这位是
Hey. Who, uh...
这是谁
Who's this guy?
-这是布洛迪 -你好
- This is Brody. - Hey.
哥们 见到你太高兴了
Super excited to meet you, man.
是吧 好啊
Yeah. Ah. Okay.
布洛迪是我前未婚夫
Brody's my ex-fiance.
啥
What?
是啊 我知道 这事儿巧到没人信
Yeah, I know. It's a crazy coincidence.
我们刚就这么碰上了
We just ran into each other.
是啊 我被调来这里工作
Yeah. I got transferred here for work.
来旧金山这边
Here to San Fran.
我好端端走在马路上 然后
I was walking down the street and,
突然 就撞上她了
boom, there she is.
你前任和我想象中的完全不一样
This is not at all how I pictured your ex.
我知道 他变了
I know. He's changed.
-变了很多 -谢谢你
- A lot. - Thank you.
可不是
Yeah.
我和你说 菲尔 自从小凯离开我后
I'll tell you what happened, Phil, is after Catie left me,
我仔细审视了自己 我对我自己说
I took a long hard look at myself and I thought, uh,
布洛迪 难道你想这辈子就当个
"Man, Brody, you don't wanna be a 150-pound wimp,
卖♥♥建筑材料的 150磅重的蠢胖子吗
"selling industrial cardboard for the rest of your life, do you?"
于是 我辞职了
So I quit my job,
甩掉了一半体重的赘肉
packed on about 74, 75 pounds of lean muscle mass, right?
变身成一名国际空降消防员
And became an international smokejumper.
什么玩意儿
What the fuck is that?
就是一种跨国行动
It's like anything that you do,
实质和普通工作没啥区别
but with just more than one country.
我们称之为 国际
They call it international.
我知道什么是国际
I know what international means.
空降消防员 是什么鬼
But the smokejumping, what is that?
布洛迪随队环游世界
Brody travels around the world
空降于各种森林火情凶险的地方
skydiving into wild fires.
夸张了 说得我好像是个超级英雄一样
No, she makes me sound like a superhero or something.
不过她没说错 我跟你讲
She's not wrong. I'll tell you something.
这确实是种与众不同的经历
There's nothing quite like
你从20000英尺高的飞机上
jumping out of an airplane at 20,000 feet
跳入一片火海
into a sea of fire,
手里只拿着一把铁铲 以及
with nothing but a shovel and the supreme confidence
拯救世界的爆棚信心
that you're making the world a better place.
你帅呆了
You are cool.
别光说我了 你是做什么的
Enough about me. What do you do for a living?
我是个作家
I'm a writer.
你是个作家吗 太不可思议了
You're a writer? That's incredible.
听起来比我的工作刺♥激♥多了
That's way scarier than what I do.
-并没有 -真的
- It isn't. - It is.
你盯着一张空空如也的白纸
You're staring down a blank page.
只有你 和白纸
It's just you and the page.
你就是 白纸上的超级英雄
I mean, it's like, you're a superhero of paper.
-对吧 -你别犯二了
- Right? - You are such an idiot!
-我没犯二 -你就是二
- I'm not an idiot. - You're an idiot.
我不是 你才二呢
I'm not an idiot. You're an idiot.
才怪
I'm not!
真搞笑
This is fun.
-真的很搞笑 -布洛迪老兄 -怎么了