偷穿高跟鞋

有一个招募见面会 但那天是我小孩的生日
to do some recruiting interviews next weekend, but it's my kid's birthday.
-你能替我去吗 -芝加哥
-Can you go for me? -Chicago?
-是的 -那儿很冷
-Yeah. -It's cold there.
-拜托了 我答应要扮演小丑的 -我不清楚
-Aw, come on. I promised I'd be the clown. -I don't know.
要是我能拉一个助手一起帮我做访问
If I could drag an associate along to help with interviews
这样就能跟上节奏了
so I don't fall behind.
呃 菲勒
Uh, Feller?
-有兴趣吗 去芝加哥 -呃
-Any interest? Chicago? -Oh, gee,
我是说 就像你说的 那很冷
I don't know. I mean, like you said, it's... pretty cold there.
买♥♥些手套
Buy some mittens.
罗丝 你妹妹
Rose. Your sister.
猜猜是谁现在在纽约等着成为下一名MTV主持人
Guess who's in New York waiting for her callback to be the next MTV veejay?
是嘛 呃
Well, uh
好奇之余 你哪儿来的路费
Out of curiosity, um, how much did it cost you to get up there?
谁在乎 我会赚回来的
Who cares? I'll make it back.
噢 那什么时候MTV会雇你 把你捧成大明星
Oh, right, when MTV hires you and makes you a great big star.
支持我你会死啊
Would it kill you to be supportive?
我的意思是 这样又能让你被生殖器崇拜吓到
I mean, would that just send you into "anaphallic" shock or something?
是"敏感" 麦琪 不是"生殖器崇拜"
Anaphylactic, Maggie, not "anaphallic."
麦琪 梅 菲勒
Maggie May Feller!
我得走了 是我
I have to go. That's me.
-你是下一个 -借过一下
-You're next. -Excuse me.
-欢迎回来 麦琪·梅 -谢谢 回来真好
-Welcome back, Maggie May. -Thank you. It's good to be back.
现在 你看着屏幕上的字
Now, you see the screen with the words on it?
照着念出来
Just read what it says...
对着镜头
and just... look into the camera...
赋予它个性
and give it that-that personality.
充分发挥出来
Just let it shine through.
好了 你随时可以开始
Okay, whenever you're ready.
这是周五的中午 在 噢
-It's Friday afternoon on -Oh.
-好 我们再来一次 -好吧
-Okay. Let's try again. -Okay.
放松就好
Just relax.
"这里是周五下午的TRL节目"
It's Friday afternoon on TRL and
倒回来
Take it back.
这里是周五下午的TRL节目 今天晚些时候
It's Friday afternoon on TRL and later today
你可以走了 麦琪 梅
You okay, Maggie May?
是
Yeah.
噢 已经成名了
Well? Are you famous yet?
销♥售♥员求职
Aposition in retail.
就业简历
Employment history?
你上一份工作是什么
What was your last job?
-在"幸运牛仔裤" 干了仨礼拜 -为什么不干了
-LuckyJeans for three weeks. -Why'd it end?
一个拿着赠券的疯婆子
Some crazy bitch with a coupon.
赠券上写着15% 全部的15%
The coupon says 15%! 15% of the total!
42乘以15% 算算 你是怎么了
15% of 42! Do the math! What's your problem?
好吧 要是有人问的话 只是
Okay, well, if anyone asks, just...
这么说不够吸引人
say it wasn't challenging enough.
在那之前是在餐馆 对吗 运河宫
And before that was the restaurant, right? The Canal House?
在那之前呢
And before that?
在那之前 在盖普服饰店
Before that? The Gap.
在那之前
Before that? The Limited.
万娜梅克香料 万娜梅克饰品
Wanamaker's Fragrance, Wanamaker's Accessories.
好了 你真的想现在弄这些东西吗 是吗
Oh, come on. You really don't want to do this right now, do you?
是 我不想让你后三个月还赖在我的沙发上
No, but I also don't want you on my couch for the next three months.
要是你让我给你化妆 我就让你做我的简历
I'll let you do my resume if you let me do your makeup.
-算了吧 -为什么
-Forget it. -Why?
怎么说呢 从今天某种角度 我要面对整个世界
I don't know-at some point today, I have to face the world...
我不想让自己看起来像个只值20块钱的妓♥女♥
and I'd rather not do it looking like a $20 hooker.
来吧 我保证你还是你 只是看起来更好了
Oh, come on. I promise you'll still look like you, just better.
我们去找提升气质的必备品 鞋子
Let's go pick out an outfit for inspiration. Shoes.
-我没 -鞋子
-I don't have... -Shoes!
知道吗
You know...
大部分你都没穿过
you don't even wear most of these.
这样的鞋子不该被所在衣橱里
Shoes like these should not be locked in a closet.
它们应该活在充满丑闻和激♥情♥的生活中
They should be living a life of scandal and passion...
和一个亿万富翁在小巷里胡搞
and getting screwed in an alleyway by a billionaire
而他性冷淡的老婆就在豪华轿车里等着
while his frigid wife waits in the limo...
以为他只是回酒吧去拿他的手♥机♥
thinking that he just went back into the bar to get his cell phone.
-这双也很好看 -告诉我你刚才都是瞎编的
-These are cute too. -Please tell me you just made that up.
听着 如果你不会穿它们 那就别买♥♥
Look, if you're not gonna wear them, don't buy them.
不如把它们留给那些可以穿出内涵的人
Leave them for somebody who's gonna get something out of them.
我就是那个人
I get something out of them.
我心情不好时候 就喜欢犒劳自己
When I feel bad, I like to treat myself.
那些衣服也从来不觉得好看
Clothes never look any good.
食物只会让我发胖
Food just makes me fatter.
鞋子总是最合适的
Shoes always fit.
-精神点儿 -两位喝点儿什么
-Don't slouch. -Something for you ladies?
我想我们再等一小会儿 谢谢
I think we're gonna just take a minute. Thanks.
-我以为我是来喝酒的 -耐心点儿
-I thought I was getting a drink out of this. -Patience.
喔 麦琪 不是吧
Eww! Maggie, no.
两位愿意一起来喝一杯吗
How would you ladies like to join us for something wet?
-那是什么 -就是那个地方
-What is that? -It's a vagina.
你知道吗 希黛尔是对的 你真是贱
You know what? Sydelle's right. You're completely obscene.
为什么 因为我说"阴♥道♥"
Why, because I say "vagina"?
麦克 我不知道你这俩闺女有什么毛病
Michael, I don't know what's wrong with your girls.
我的玛西亚从来不说"阴♥道♥" 这个词儿
My Marcia never uses the word "vagina"!
哦 不 我的玛西亚甚至都没有"阴♥道♥"
Oh, no, my Marcia doesn't even have a vagina!
喔 我的玛西亚有
Oh, my Marcia has a vagina, all right...
但我们玛西亚的是24K纯金打造的
but my Marcia's vagina is made of solid 24-karat gold.
我们玛西亚那个太完美了 在博物馆摆着呢
My Marcia's vagina is so perfect, it's in a museum!
两位点点儿什么
What can I get you girls?
我们要两盘全麦蜂蜜薄饼
We'll have two stacks of whole wheat honey pancakes...
一片熏猪肉 多谢
and a side ofbacon, please.
-谢谢 -非常感谢
-Thank you. -Thank you very much.
喔 对了 你们在招人吗
Oh, and, uh, are you hiring?
我给你拿份申请表
I'll bring an application.
我的玛西亚从来不吃薄饼
My Marcia never eats pancakes.
这就是为什么我的玛西亚依然穿着一件
That's why my Marcia still wears a m...
怎么了
What?
你不敢相信你竟然会那么做
I can't believe you just did that.
做什么
Did what?
你们招人吗
Are you hiring?
上帝啊 罗丝 我们刚出来玩一回
God, Rose, we were having fun for once.
-这是个机会 -用来干吗
-It's an opportunity. -To do what?
每天上夜班
To work the graveyard shift
给那些警♥察♥ 妓♥女♥ 醉鬼送薄饼
serving pancakes to cops and whores and drunks.
我想你该工作 那样你就不用凡事都依赖我
I think you should work, so you don't have to mooch off me for everything.
你说什么哪 我刚请你喝了酒
What are you talking about? I just got us two rounds of drinks.
不 奎沃·卡尔请的酒
No. Cuervo Carl got the drinks,
因为他只惦记着跟你上♥床♥
and only because he hoped you'd sleep with him.
好 我没有
Well, I didn't.
你需要工作 麦琪
You need a job, Maggie.
这世界上有些交际
There's a whole world of commerce out there...
是与"性" 无关的
that has nothing to do with sex.
那些工作人们不用色相就可以挣钱
Where people actually make money without seducing anyone.
当然 除非你快饿死了
Obviously, or you'd starve.
你不可能永远都是这个样子的 知道吗
You're not gonna look like this forever, you know.
最终你会变老
Eventually you'll be older...
那些现在为你买♥♥单的男人
and then all the men who foot your bill now
以后就会为比你年轻一半的女孩买♥♥酒
will be buying drinks for girls half your age.
那时候你要怎么办
And what are you gonna do then?
你最好想想
Well, you better think of something...
因为中年还不能定下来 可不再是迷人
cause middle-aged tramps aren't cute.
是悲哀
They're pathetic.
-够了 -你要干吗
-Fine. -What are you doing?
坐下 麦琪
Sit down, Mag. Mag.
车到了 菲勒小姐
Your car's here, Miss Feller.
谢谢
Thank you.
嘿
Hey.
丹佛很忙 他让我代他去
Danvers got busy. He sent me instead.