偷穿高跟鞋

参加10年高中聚会
Your 10-year high school reunion.
人人都想留个好印象 我的目标就是
Oh, everybody wants to make a good impression, and I was making mine on
泰德 塔德 随便啦
Ted? Tad? Whatever.
我知道 我看起来不太可能有什么出息了
I know, not exactly Most Likely to Succeed...
我没有法律学位来炫耀
but it's not like I had a law degree to brag about...
有一套利顿豪斯广场的公♥寓♥ 或是一份好工作
or a Rittenhouse Square apartment, or a fancyjob.
或是短期工
Or a job, period.
是吗
Is that it?
是的 宝贝 是 是的
Yes, baby, that's, that's it.
有这么种女人 身材苗条
There are women, thinner women
穿着蕾丝内衣 丝绸丁字裤
who have lace bras, silk thongs...
这些能让男人兴奋的东西
things designed to excite a man.
我穿丁字裤会笑死人
A thong would look ridiculous on me.
我穿纯棉内♥裤♥
I wear cotton briefs.
我的生活就是不停工作
My life is about working long hours...
计划那些还没实现的旅行
planning trips I never take...
期待一场浪漫小说中的爱情
and settling for love found on the pages of romance novels.
因为这一切从来没有发生过
And because things like this never happen to me...
我的律师精神让我追求证据
the lawyer in me wants proof.
等一下
Hold on.
是罗丝·菲勒吗
Is this Rose Feller?
你是
Who is this?
我是托德 我和你妹妹在一起
My name's Todd. I'm here with your sister.
这种我不希望的事却常常发生
Things like this, on the other hand, happen all the time.
这是我的鞋
Those are my shoes.
你知道的 事实上 参加聚会
You know, it is actually possible to attend a reunion...
很有可能最后不用躺在洗手间地板上
and not wind up passed out on the bathroom floor.
1994年在召唤 它要要回那个发带
1994 called. It wants its hair scrunchie back.
噢
Oh.
现在那些头型前卫的时髦女孩
How are the fashionable girls wearing their hair these days...
大半夜去接他们酩酊大醉的妹妹又是怎样
when they pick up their drunk sisters in the middle of the night?
这也叫件衣服
Is that even a dress?
开你的车吧
Just drive.
该死
Shit.
你喝多了
You're drunk!
嘘 别让希黛尔知道
Shh. Don't let Sydelle know.
哎哟
Oops.
我很清醒
I was very clear.
除非你不再胡闹 不然你不能在这待着
You can only stay here if there was none of your nonsense.
抱歉 我要上♥床♥睡觉了
Excuse me. I'm gonna go to bed.
然后吐一地毯 是吧
And throw up all over my white carpets?
想都甭想 拿上你的东西 走吧
Absolutely not. Take your things and go.
她能去哪
Where is she supposed to go?
-我不管 你把她带走 -没门
-I don't care. Take her home with you. -No way.
继续 你们俩都知道如何让一个女孩觉得自己特别
Gee, you two really know how to make a girl feel special.
-我要跟爸爸谈谈 -你♥爸♥已经睡着了
-I want to talk to Dad about this. -Your father's asleep.
我的玛西亚明天和他丈夫来吃午早餐
My Marcia and her husband are coming for brunch tomorrow.
他需要休息
He needs his rest.
我坚信 如果让他选择 是要为见你的孩子而休息
I'm sure if he were given the choice of resting up for your child
还是跟我这个亲生的聊天 他会选择我
or talking to his own, he'd choose me.
你觉得有什么问题么
Did you just raise your eyebrow?
我说不上来 它不
I can't tell. It doesn't
它都不动了
It doesn't move anymore.
我的玛莎要来吃早午餐
My Marcia's coming for brunch.
塞满她那张贪得无厌的脸
To stuff her anorexic face.
这个 是 什么
What... is... this?
罗丝·菲勒
Rose Feller!
-这屋里有个男人 -嘘
-Is there a man in this house? -Shh!
-一个男人 -嘘 麦琪
-A human man? -Shh, Maggie!
喔
Oh.
-别动 给我
No, give me that!
-不要 噢 -麦琪 麦琪
-No! Ooh! -Maggie, Maggie!
-可爱 可爱 -嘘
-Yummy. Yummy. -Shh!
他真可爱 他是谁
He's cute. Who is he?
-与你无关
None of your business.
好吧 我
Well, I, for one...
我很吃惊
Am shocked...
大惊失色
and appalled.
嘘 别这样 麦琪 闭嘴吧
Shh! Don't, Maggie. Shut up.
没有必要生活的这么辛苦的 麦琪
Life doesn't have to be this hard, Mag.
只要你稍微准备一下 你还是可以回学校的
If you just prepared a little, you know, maybe went back to school?
嗯 对 就跟我当初学得还不错似的
Oh, right. Because that worked so well the first time.
我指的是文学方面
I mean the literacy place.
你 白♥痴♥
Retard U.
-如果你回去 继续完成的话 -好了
-If you just went back, finished up there -Right.
或许那能帮你找出什么是自己擅长的
Maybe it'll help you figure out what you're good at.
我知道我擅长什么
I know what I'm good at.
-除了那个 -哦
-Besides that. -Oh.
你有很多潜力
You have so much potential.
-你明明知道我醉了 对不对 -嗯
-You do realize I'm drunk, don't you? -Hmm.
记得哈尼邦吗
Remember Honey Bun?
我们拥有了多长时间
How long did we have him for?
-一天 -嗯
-A day. -Mmm.
真是美好的一天
That was a good day.
是啊
Yeah.
-噢 早上好 -嗯
-Oh. Good morning, um -Mmm.
-嗨 -嗨
-Hi. -Hi.
-说的是英语吗 -噢 吉姆
-Is that English? -Oh, Jim.
这是我妹妹 麦琪
This is my sister, Maggie.
她昨天晚上顺便过来的
She just dropped by last night to visit.
没错
Right.
-早啊 -早
-Good morning. -Good morning!
-很抱歉变成这样 -这没什么
-I'm sorry about that. -It's not a problem.
嘿
Hey.
我记得我口袋里有20块钱的
I could've sworn I had some 20s here.
嗯 好了
Mm-hmm! Okay.
嗯
Hmm.
冰果汁
Sherbet.
她哪来的时间干这个
Where does she get the time to do this?
好吧
Okay.
爱你
I love you.
好啦 罗丝 你找到的都是什么
All right, Rose. What do you got?
噢 该死
Oh, shit!
这照片上有个男人
There's a man in this picture?
住嘴 我有技术上的问题
Oh, shut up! I had technical difficulties.
-下一个 -相信我 瞧 他很有才华
-Who's next? -Trust me. Look, he's gorgeous.
-谢谢 -聪明 而且满腔有待爆发的激♥情♥
-Thank you. -And smart and totally... smoldering.
-能给我来一斤热肠么 -没问题
-Can you make that a full pound of the hot sopresata? -You got it.
办公室恋情可能会很糟
Office romances can go very bad.
当然也会进行的很好
Well, they can also go very good.
30%的已婚女人都是在公♥司♥遇到他们的老公
You know, 30% of married women met their husbands at work.
-你从哪看的这个统计结果 -编的
-Where did you get that statistic? -Made it up.
所有那些 课后活动 不是他家 就是你家
All extracurricular activity happens off, campus, his place or yours.
不 在他家 这些天我家有点挤 因为麦琪
No, his. Mine's a little crowded these days. Maggie.
-不 -只能等她找到工作
-No! -Just till she finds a job.
你说过有些东西是她能做到的
You say that like that's something she's remotely capable of.
你怎么能让她这么对你
Why do you let her do this to you?
因为 她是我妹妹
Because... she's my sister.
好了 你叫什么名字
All right. What's your name?
麦琪 梅 菲勒 你呢
Maggie May Feller. What's yours?
你们当中如果有人有了周末计划
Some of you who had plans for the weekend are,
很不幸 得取消了
unfortunately, going to have to cancel.
唐纳森案子的调解谈判已经完全崩溃
The settlement discussions for the Donaldson case have broken down completely...
所以我们需要开始为审判做准备
so we'll need to start gearing up for trial.
赛蒙 你今天要整理一份庭审证词日程
Simon, you should put together a deposition schedule today.
艾伦 起草一份判决申请总结
And, Ellen, you should start drafting a summary judgment motion.
在申请之前给我看一下
I'll need to see that before we file it,
周四给我 明白了吗
so you'll need to get it to me by Thursday, okay?
开始干活吧
Let's get to it.
呃 我本来下周末应该去芝加哥的
Listen, uh, I'm supposed to go to Chicago...