糟糕历史大电影：臭屁的罗马人

现在你告诉我
Now you tell me.
下去
Get down.
凯尔特人
Celts.
如果他们看到你的衣服 你就有麻烦了
If they see you dressed like that you're in trouble.
干得漂亮
Nice!
堵车了
Oh, traffic jam.
我是科林 在此为您实时报道
This is Colin, your eye in the sky
现场的交通信息
with the travel news.
惠特灵大道上此时严重拥堵
And there's heavy congestion on Watling Street.
车马如龙 人潮涌动
It is nose-to-tail out there.
成千上万凯尔特人加入到布狄卡的反抗中
As thousands of Celts head to join Boudicca's rebellion
我们能从这儿看到路上越来越堵
we're seeing jams build up right here
就在三条小路的交汇处
where three lanes merge into one.
是的 典型的瓶颈路段
Ah, yes, classic bottleneck.
瓶颈路段：又称”卡口“，指突然出现的狭窄的路段
你挡到我了
Hey, you cut me up!
如果你不闭嘴 我就砍死你
If you don't shut it, I will cut you up.
-是吗 -是的
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah!
真来了个不怕死的
This is actually happening.
打 打 打
Fight, fight, fight!
如果我们过去的话就困在那了
We'll get stuck if we go up there.
我们绕路吧
Let's find another way.
抱歉我们会想你的 你被淘汰了
Sorry we missed you. You were out.
等等 我来了
Wait! I'm in!
我来了 朱庇特
I'm in, by Jupiter!
唔 有人很紧张啊
Oh, someone's nervous.
古罗马人上厕所用海绵棒擦屁♥股♥
擦擦
Sponge?
噢 非常感谢
Oh, thanks very much.
哈 你被抓到了吗
Ah, caught short were you?
什么新闻
What news?
没有新闻 君主 我只是刚刚路过
No news, Emperor. I was just passing.
那么那是什么
What's that then?
这个
Oh, oh, oh, oh this?
噢 这只是张纸
Oh, it's just a bit of paper...
我打算用来 嗯
that I'm using to, um...
擦屁♥股♥
wipe my bottom.
厕纸
Toilet paper?
从来没见过
That will never catch on.
你在撒谎
You're lying.
伦敦已被攻陷
"London has fallen".
布狄卡又烧掉了我的一个城市
Boudicca has burnt down another one of my cities.
对 再也不是名将了
Right! No more Mr Nice Guy.
这全都是你的错 克劳狄乌斯
Ah, this is all your fault, Claudius.
你不得不去征服奇怪肮脏的不列颠人了
You had to go and conquer that weird stain Britain.
现在我快成了失去罗马帝国的君主了
Now I'm gonna be the Emperor who lost the Roman Empire.
我能帮你
I could help you.
克劳狄乌斯 你竟然能说话
Claudius, you speak!
对谋杀你的事我很抱歉
I'm sorry about the whole murdering you thing.
忘掉它吧
Forget about it.
想知道怎样才能收复不列颠吗
Want to know how to save Britain?
是的 是的 是的 请告诉我 是的
Yes, yes, yes. Please, yes.
告诉保利努斯他无法力敌
Tell Paulinus he cannot win on strength.
只能智取
He must use strategy.
给凯尔特人设一个圈套
Find a way to trap the Celts.
让他们中圈套 不错
Ooh, trap them, that's good.
听你母后的话
And listen to your mother.
因为她聪明
For she is clever
有谋略且十分漂亮
and cunning and really quite beautiful.
但一定要设法满足她
Be sure to give her whatever she asks for.
-母亲 -我这在这儿
- Mother! - I'm right, though
不是吗
aren't I?
奥拉回来了
Orla's back!
爸爸 我们成功了 我们救了奶奶
Dad, we did it. We rescued Gran.
我的好女儿
Ah, my girl.
我的小凯尔特勇士
My little Celtic warrior.
我为你感到骄傲
I'm so proud of you.
等等 那个罗马人又回来做什么
Hold on, what's that Roman doing back here?
我以为你已经杀了他 奥拉
I thought you was gonna kill him, Orla.
那我们来杀他
We could kill him.
等等 我 我帮她救了布伦达
Wait, I um... I helped her rescue Brenda.
真的 他没有说谎
it is true. He did.
我们应该感谢上帝
We should be thanking the gods.
确实 所以
Exactly. So...
让我们将他献祭给上帝吧
let's sacrifice him.
什么 献祭
Ahem. What? Sacrifice.
是的 把他扔到沼泽里
Yeah, drown him in the bog!
吊上一分钟
Uh, hang on a minute.
不 他将会成为我们众神的祭品
No, he'll be an offering to our gods.
你真幸运
You lucky thing.
这是无上的荣耀
Hey, it's a great honour.
-奥拉 告诉他们不要 求你了 -沼泽
- Orla, tell them, please. - Bog!
沼泽 沼泽 沼泽 沼泽 沼泽
Bog! Bog! Bog! Bog! Bog!
来吧
Come on!
奥拉
Orla?
奥拉 救命
Orla help!
♪ 沼泽里面的沼泽 ♪
♪ Bog on the bog ♪
♪ 一个大沼泽啊 ♪
♪ A bogga bog bog ♪
这首歌♥是模仿的Spice Girls的Wannabe
♪ 现在该去大沼泽啦 ♪
♪ It's time to bogga bog ♪
♪ 把他带到去沼泽而不是扛着他去 ♪
♪ Take it to the bog, can't bring it to the bog ♪
♪ 一个大大大沼泽 让我嗨到爆 ♪
♪ A bogga bogga bogga to the max I am ♪
♪ 一路不停去沼泽 ♪
♪ No stopping in the bog ♪
♪ 再把他扔到沼泽里 ♪
♪ Let's drop him in the bog ♪
大沼泽 大大大沼泽
♪ Bogga bogga bogga bogga bog ♪
♪ 我们停下来吧 停下来吧 ♪
♪ Let's jam, yeah, let's jam, yeah ♪
好吧 你们继续
Yeah. As you were.
奥拉 快帮帮我
Orla, do something.
爸爸 等一下
Dad, wait, just wait.
是我和亚迪把奶奶救回来的
Look, me and Atti, we rescued Gran together.
所以我想
So I really think...
能让我杀了他吗
I should have the honour of killing him.
你说什么
What?
我还以为我们是朋友
I thought we were mates.
我已经证明自己了 对吧
Well, I have proved myself, haven't I?
是的 没错
Yes, yes you have.
好吧 他是你的了
Go on, he's all yours.
她可真棒
Makes you proud.
孩子一转眼就长大了
Oh, they grow up so fast.
不是吧
Seriously?
我都这样帮你了
After everything?
闭嘴 接着走
Shut up and keep walking.
一会儿我叫你跑
When I tell you to run
赶紧跑 别回头
leg it and don't look back.
你没开玩笑吧
Really?
你不会有麻烦吧
Won't you get into trouble?
你♥爸♥会怎么处理你啊
What will your dad say?
谢谢你 奥拉
Thanks, Orla.
快跑
Run! Oi!
天哪 他跑了 她把他放跑了
He's getting away. Oh, she's letting him go.
你这是干嘛
What was that for?
因为我们再没机会把人扔到沼泽里了
We never get to chuck anyone in the bog any more.
爸爸 我很抱歉
Dad, I'm sorry.
没事
Yeah.
你就没有更好的理由了吗
Not a good enough reason.
大伙 大伙
Guys! Guys!
我终于找到你们了
It's me, I found you.
亚迪 是你
Atti! Oh, yeah...
我们本来想去救你的 但
we were gonna come and rescue you but, uh...
你好啊 亚迪
Hello, Atti!
我抓住逃兵了
I've caught the deserter!
我 逃兵