盖酷家庭：星际大战大反击（2009）

Plus, me and Chewie are on it.
是吗 朱伊
Ain't that right, Chewie?
是啊 你是我的牧牛人
Hell, yeah. You my Nerf Herder.
你是我的牧牛人
You my nerf herder.
好了 朱伊 启动
All right, Chewie, punch it.
谢天谢地 那个美女终于走了
Thank god that hot chick is gone.
现在我可以放屁了
Now I can let loose my Darth farts.
R2 准备起飞
Artoo, get her ready for takeoff.
你可能不记得了 但我上周说过
You may not remember, but I told you last week
今晚有我侄女的独奏会
I got my niece's recital today.
我们得一直坐到结束?
We gotta sit through this whole thing?
就快完了
It's not that much longer.
她是7号♥ 一共有18个人呢
She's number seven and there's, like, 18 people.
放松点
Relax, man.
我是说 只要她知道你来过...
I mean, as long as she knows you were here...
既来之 则安之
Look, this is happening, so just come to peace with it.
这不是去集♥合♥点的路
Hey, this ain't the way to the rendezvous point.
我们不是去和别人会合
We're not meeting up with the others.
我们要去达格巴星
We're going to the Dagobah system.
抱歉打扰一下 打扰一下
Hi. Excuse me. Excuse me.
你知道怎么去达格巴星吗
Hi, yeah, do you know how to get to the Dagobah system?
我们也要去那 你可以跟着我们
Yeah, actually we're headed there now. You can follow us.
太好了 还有个问题 我们得加油了
Okay, great. Annoying question. We have to get gas,
你介意等等我们吗
Would you mind pulling off and waiting for us while we do that?
太感谢你了
Thank you so much.
韩 看啊
Han, look
该死 前面还有2个
Crap, there's two more of them dead ahead.
没问题 交给我搞定
It's all right, I think I can outmaneuver them.
这个叛徒居然觉得他可以逃脱帝国的追捕
This rebel lawbreaker thinks he can outrun the empire.
追捕队意识到他进入了居民区
The pursuing officers realize he's entered a residential area.
他们保持了安全距离
They give him a wide berth,
但仍确保他在视线之内
But they don't let him out of their sight.
突然 驾驶员左转
Astonishingly, the driver makes a left,
正好驶进小行星带
Right into an asteroid field.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
你不是真的要去小行星带吧
You're not actually going into an asteroid field.
如果不去就只能去草莓带了
Well, it's either that or go into the strawberry fields.
知道我最近对什么着迷吗 独脚美女
Hey, you know what I'm getting into? Is one-legged chicks.
保罗 你新老婆叫什么 佩格?
Yeah, Paul, what's your new wife's name? Peg?
够了 拉德
That'll be enough of that, Lad.
是不是艾琳
How about Eileen?
林戈猜对了
Ringo got it.
成功穿越行星带的难度
Sir, the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field
是200%
Are two to one.
不要告诉我...其实还不错
Never tell me the... actually, that's not bad.
不错 继续前进
Yeah. No, let's keep going.
看那个 看那边
Look at that one! Look at that one there!
还有那个
Look at that other one!
我们会粉身碎骨的
We're gonna get pulverized out here!
我们有四五个主角在船上呢
Look, we got four or five of the main characters on this ship.
我们会没事的
I think we'll be fine.
那边 看起来不错
There, that looks good.
那个派看起来不好吗 真可惜我们拿不到
Doesn't that pie look good? Too bad we can't get at it.
这里是太空 我们在这船里
It's in space, and we're in here.
不然 我现在就在吃了
Otherwise, I'd be eating it right now.
好了 我们停在洞那里吧
All right, let's park right there in that cave.
你在干什么 你不能停在那里
What are you doing? you can't park there.
-你没脑残吧 -我头晕
- You're not handicapped. - I have vertigo.
这是种医学疾病
It's a real medical condition.
我就记录成你说你不是很舒服吧
I'm just going on record as saying I'm not comfortable with this.
我希望你知道你在干什么
I hope you know what you're doing.
我发现莉亚不停地问我问题
I've just found that Leia's constant questioning of me
并没有让船上的气氛好一点
Has not been productive to the atmosphere of the ship.
我觉得她应该更自重一点
And I think that she just needs to get some respect for herself.
R2 起来 我们到了 穿上鞋子
Artoo, wake up, we're here. Put your shoes on.
你最好快点着陆
You better hurry up and land.
过去的半个小时 我一直梦见我在撒尿
The last half hour, I've been having all pee dreams.
所有的雷达都坏了 我什么都看不到
All the scopes are dead! I can't see a thing!
抱歉 是我的问题
Sorry, that's me.
我还在用电子设备
I was still using an electronic device.
这样好多了
Okay, that's much better.
现在我可以看到沼泽了...是沼泽
Now I can see the swamp... the swamp!
飞机撞毁在沼泽 可能让你的膝部受伤
Swamp crashes. They can land you knee-deep in trouble.
但好事达保险公♥司♥的工作人员
But the "good hands" people at
将确保你安全着陆
Allstate will make sure you have a soft landing.
专业服务 无威胁黑人发言人
Professional service. Non-threatening black spokesperson.
这就是好事达
That's Allstate's stand.
还好有这些安全气囊 你还好吗
Thank god for these airbags. You okay back there?
我还好 但是我体内的小人撞出脑震荡了
I'm okay, but the midget inside me's got a head concussion.
不 不 不
No, no, no, no, no, no!
R2?
Artoo?
R2
Artoo!
R2 你还好吗
Artoo, are you okay?
还好 谁知道沼泽里还有什么
I think so. Boy, who knows what else is in this swamp?
与此同时 在毁灭之角
Meanwhile, at the legion of doom!
-你出场早啦 -好吧
- Not now! - Okay.
你♥他♥妈♥是谁
Hey, who the hell are you?
这个鬼东西是什么
What the hell is that creepy little thing?
我不是尤达
Well, I'm not Yoda.
好吧 我是尤达
Okay, I'm Yoda.
你是尤达?
You're Yoda?
你就是欧比旺让我找的人
You're the one that Obi-wan sent me here to find.
你会教我使用原力吗
Will you teach me the ways of the force?
不 我不会教你使用原力的方法
No, I will not teach you the ways of the force.
好吧 我会教你使用原力的方法
Okay, I'll teach you the ways of the force.
但如果你想成为绝地武士
But if you want to become a Jedi,
我要先问你几个问题才行
First I gotta ask you something.
你看到过《留级之王》吗
Did you see Van Wilder?
看过 我在喜剧台看过这片子
Yeah, I saw it on comedy central.
不行 不行 我们还有许多训练要做
No no, no, no, no, no! We got a lot of training to do.
我在问 你看过《兄弟会》DVD吗
I'm asking, did you see the DVD frat house edition
带很多未经分级的镜头
With all the uncensored footage
和瑞安·雷诺兹访问的那版?
And the interview with Ryan Reynolds?
没有
No.
听着 这才是控制原力的方法
Well, that's all part of mastering the force, man.
先找些酷毙的DVD看看
It starts with checking out sweet-ass DVD releases,
比如乔恩·法夫罗导演的钢铁侠
Like Iron Man, directed by Jon Favreau.
他是自导自演 但这没什么
Yeah, he puts himself in his own movies, but you don't mind
因为他看上去是那种
'Cause he seems like the kind of guy
有求必应的人
Who'd help you move if you asked him.
真高兴你来了 我把线都扯断了
I'm glad you're here. Look, I pulled this all apart,
看起来得要个新的冷凝器了
And it looks like you're gonna need a new condenser.
真的? 一个新的冷凝器?
Really? A new condenser?
是的 我还强烈建议
Yeah, and I would also highly recommend
给光子换位系统充满能量
A complete flush of your photon conversion system.
我刚充完了
I swear I just did that.
好吧 那这个怎么样
Okay, well, how about this?
你想让我更换冷凝器的同时
Do you want me to just go ahead
同时做这个吗
And do that while I'm replacing the new condenser?
我想我最好叫我的丈夫来
I think I'd like to call my husband.
那这个怎么样
Look, how about this?
你去买♥♥个冷凝器 我和你一起组装
You buy the condenser, and I'll make out with you.
我要狠狠地吻你
I'm gonna kiss you so hard,
镜头赶快切换开
The picture's gonna change into something else.
这不是稳洁牌的清洁剂
Look, this isn't Windex
但是和那个一样好
But it's just as good.
这是那个商店的牌子
It's the store brand.
不行 这个会留下一层薄膜
No. No. It leave a film.
我不在乎有没有薄膜 就用它吧
I'm okay with the film. Just use it.
-不行 我弄不干净 -该死的
- No. No. I no can clean. - Shit.
-喂 -黑武士先生...