喜剧中心贾斯汀·比伯吐槽大会（2015）

I'm a huge fan of Chris D'Elia.
我是克里斯的铁粉
Chris gets a ton of girls. You want to know why?
克里斯有很多妹子 你们想知道为什么吗
'Cause I'm a big fan of Chris D'Elia.
因为我是克里斯的铁粉
That's right. That's what I get.
没错 事实就是如此
Love you.
爱你
Luda, what's up, man?
卢达 你好吗 伙计
I knew you would show up for me tonight.
我就知道你今晚是为我而来
I feel like I've known you my whole life,
我感觉我从一出生就认识你了
but that's just because you look like
很有可能是因为你长得像
the Mr. Potato Head I had as a kid.
我小时候的玩具土豆头先生
Luda and I had
鲁达和我
That's good. That's good.
你很搞笑 真的
Luda and I had a lot of hours making the song Baby together.
鲁达和我一起创作了《宝贝》这一曲
In fact, he told me it was the only baby
其实 他曾告诉我这是他唯一一次
he ever made on purpose.
刻意创作的宝贝
Of course I had to have one of my favorite people
当然了 我得说说我今晚最喜欢的人
in the world here tonight, Shaquille O'Neal.
沙奎尔·奥尼尔
Thanks for coming, man.
谢谢你 伙计
I love you, dude, but how in 19 seasons
爱死你了 兄弟 但是为什么十九季的节目
have you only made one three-pointer?
你出演了才不到三分之一呢
I've hit more pedestrians with my car.
我开车撞的人都比这多
And Hannibal Buress, thank you so much for being here.
还有汉尼拔·伯瑞斯 非常感谢你今晚喷我
I don't really know much about you,
说实话我几乎没听说过你的大名
but from what I've been hearing,
但就我对你的一些听闻
I hope you don't know much about me either.
希望你也不要太了解我比较好
Snoop Doggie Dogg, what's up, man?
史努比狗狗大人 你好吗
He's way too shy to admit this, but he was actually
他都不好意思承认 但他确实是
the Billboard top male artist the year I was born.
我出生那年的公告牌名列前茅的男艺人
And look at you now, Snoop.
再回头看看你 史努比
You're one of the ten dudes at my roast
你竟然到坐在今晚喷我的
sitting right next to Martha Stewart
玛莎·斯图尔特和那个汉尼拔谁谁
and that Hannibal guy.
的旁边
How cool is this? So cool.
你得有多自豪啊 真自豪
You made it. I'm proud of you, man.
你做到了 我为你感到骄傲
I'm proud of you.
真的
Before I go, I want to thank everyone for tonight.
在我下台之前 我衷心的感谢今晚来到这里的各位
This roast was a dream of mine.
这个座谈会是我的梦想
I especially want to thank all my fans, the dais,
我尤其想感谢一直以来支持我的粉丝们 今晚喷我的朋友们
and everyone watching at home.
还有在电视机前的各位观众们
I turned a lot of people off over the past few years,
在过去的几年里 我让很多人失望了
but I know I can still turn out good music
但是我知道我还能创作出很多好的作品
and turn everything all around. You have my word.
东山再起 我向大家保证
I will not end up broken, pathetic, bitter,
我绝对不会就此沉迷 悲催 自甘堕落下去
or sitting on the dais of somebody else's roast.
或坐在这个舞台上让某些人继续喷我
No, but seriously.
绝对不会 我保证
Really, let's get serious for a second.
说真的 让我认真说几句话
There was really no preparing me for this life.
这样的人生并不是已经准备好的
I was thrown into this at 12 years old,
我十二岁就步入了贵圈
and I didn't really know what I was getting myself into.
我并不知道贵圈原来这么乱
There's been moments I'm really proud of,
有让我感到傲娇的时刻
and a lot of moments I look back
回首往事
and I'm pretty disappointed in myself for,
也有让我感到对自己很失望的时刻
but the things that I've done really don't define who I am.
但是我做的事并不代表了我的人品
I'm a kindhearted person who loves people,
我是一个善良的 爱着大家的好人
and through it all I lost some of my best qualities.
有些经历让我遗失了我一些好的品质
For that, I'm sorry.
为此我深感歉意
But what I can say is I'm looking forward to being someone
现在我能说的只有 我会好好走下去
that you guys can all look at and be proud of,
成为能让你们感到骄傲的人
someone you can smile at and see some of yourself in.
成为你们愿意笑对的人 或许能在我身上看到你自己的影子
Someone close to me once said,
曾经有人对我这么说过
"It's how you rise from a fall
怎么跌倒就怎么爬起来
that truly defines you as a man."
这才是真正的男人
I'm excited for that challenge,
我愿意努力改正自己
and I want to say thank you so much
也想谢谢各位
for taking this journey with me,
陪我走过这程风雨
and I'm excited for you to see what's next.
我希望你们能期待未来的我
Thank you, God, for your grace
感谢上帝的仁慈
and for never giving up on me.
感谢上帝没有放弃我
But one more thing. One more thing before I go.
我最后再说一句
There's someone in my life who I owe a special apology to.
曾经有段真挚的感情放在我面前
I'm talking about someone who I really loved
我没有珍惜
and lost because I screwed it all up,
如果上天再给我一次机会
but thankfully that special someone,
我会对那个人说
the love of my life, is here tonight.
我爱你
I just want that second chance, so if you could come on out.
我只希望你能再给我一次机会 请你出来吧
This is your monkey.
你的猴子回来了
I missed you, buddy. Want to go to the zoo?
我想死你了 兄弟 想去动物园玩吗
I'm just kidding.
开玩笑啦
Thank you so much and good night.
谢谢大家 晚安
You did good, man. I'm proud of you, buddy.
好样的 伙计 我为你感到骄傲
Incredible fucking show.
今晚喷得太爽了
It takes a lot of balls to do that.
有胆才敢这么喷
I wouldn't be able to do that.
说实话我都有点肝颤
Happy to do it.
我挺你 兄弟
Great, dude. It really was.
不错 伙计 你说的真棒
It was really great. That's my guy, right?
你说的真好 大家一起看镜头 茄子