超级青春期

I'm dating an adult man.
你这样也能叫 "我交往的是个成年人"
Oh, excuse me. "I'm dating an adult man."
是你想要做这个的
Well, you wanted to do this.
我知道是我想做 但这不是重点
I know I wanted to do this. That's not the point.
这次不一样了
It's different this time.
我觉得这是最后一次了
I don't think we should do it again.
好吧 行
All right. Sure.
-好 -随你的便吧
‐ Okay. ‐ Well, whatever you want.
-我要走了 -好的
‐ I'm gonna go. ‐ Okay. All right.
我想让你陪我去我的车那边
I need you to walk me to my car.
外面太黑 不安全的样子
It's really dark and sketchy out there.
好吧
Sure.
豆苗
Pea shoots?
-什么是豆苗 -我不知道
- What the fuck are pea shoots? - I don't know.
兄弟 卖♥♥给那些孩子比我想象得要容易得多
Dude, selling to those kids was so much easier than I thought.
他们两下就嗑完了
Like, they just ate it up.
你是说那些十七岁小屁孩都想嗑药吗
Wow, are you telling me that 17‐year‐olds wanted drugs?
先生 你知道豆苗在哪里吗
Hey, sir, do you know where the pea shoots are?
该死的霍莉
Fuckin' Holly.
不 那挺疯狂的
No, it was just crazy 'cause like
我以为他们不会花那么多钱买♥♥
I didn't think they'd wanna pay that much.
小屁孩们根本不知道毒品值多少钱
Dude, kids your age don't know how much drugs cost.
这很可笑
It's hilarious, you know?
那些有钱的根本不在乎 他们只想嗨
And the rich ones don't care. They just want to get high.
兄弟 豆苗到底在哪里
Dude, where the fuck are the pea shoots?
-你问问别人 -我刚问了
- Dude, just ask someone. - I just did.
我知道 你去问问店员
I know, but ask someone that works here.
哥们 这里有豆苗吗
Yo, bro, do you have pea shoots?
豆苗
Pea shoots?
-是蔬菜吗 -我也不知道
- Is that like a vegetable? - I don't know, man.
我女朋友给我列了一堆东西让我买♥♥
My girlfriend just gave me this whole list of shit to get.
你知道豆苗在哪里吗
Do you know where the pea shoots is at?
-不知道 -去找 伙计
‐ Nah, man. ‐ Go fucking look for 'em, man.
你刚说她是你女朋友吗
Yo, did you just call her your girlfriend?
-对 -真的假的
‐ I did. ‐ No way!
-真的 -进展神速
‐ Yeah. ‐ That was fast.
也不是 我也该像成年人一样谈恋爱了
No, it's time for, like, an adult relationship, you know?
童年已经结束了 你明白我的意思吗
Like, childhood's been over. You know what I'm saying?
谁是你女朋友 她漂亮吗
Who's your girlfriend? Is she bad?
我们没有豆苗 老板
I don't think we got any pea shoots, boss.
索菲昨天也在派对上
Sophie was at the party, too.
兄弟 事情一件一件说 好吗
Dude, one thing at a time, all right?
-她超漂亮 -你说谁
‐ She looked hot. ‐ Huh? Who?
-我跟你说过索菲 -是的
‐ I told you about Sophie. ‐ Yeah.
-她很漂亮 -这样啊
- She's hot. - Yeah
-她也在派对上 -真棒
‐ She was at the party. ‐ Sick.
我们没有豆苗 老板
I don't think we got any pea shoots, boss.
好吧 那你有差不多的东西吗
All right, well, do you have, like, an equivalent?
要不我买♥♥点普通的豆子回去
Or should I just get regular peas?
别问我 你要不先买♥♥下一个
Don't ask me. Just get the next thing on the list.
-鱼酱 -鱼酱吗
- Fish sauce? - Fish sauce?
那是什么 是鸡尾酒酱吗
What, you mean, like, cocktail sauce?
是吃虾的蘸料吗
Like, fuckin' shrimp dip?
她到底要煮些什么
Yo, what the fuck is she cooking?
-挺好吃的 霍莉 -谢谢
‐ This was great, Holly. ‐ Thanks.
没错 她是世界上最好的厨子
Yeah, she's like the best cook in the world.
是 尽管我要你买♥♥的东西你都没买♥♥到
Yeah, even though you didn't get me anything I asked for.
因为你要的东西都很傻
'Cause everything you asked for was fuckin' stupid.
他那样说只是为了在你面前装酷
He's only saying that to impress you.
-这挺有用 -小莫喜欢个女孩
‐ It's working. ‐ Yo, Mo likes a girl.
-谁 -她叫索菲
‐ Who? ‐ Uh, her name's Sophie.
跟我同校 实际上你可能认识她
She goes to my school. You might know her, actually.
你快毕业时她刚进校
She was a freshman when you were a senior.
索菲·米勒
Sophie Miller?
索菲·皮埃尔
Sophie Pierre?
苏菲·赫布舍尔
Sophie Huebscher?
不 是索菲·威利斯
No. Sophie Willits.
是山姆·威利斯的妹妹吗
Sam Willits' little sister?
不会吧
What the fuck?
你怎么认识年刊里的所有人
How do you know everyone in the yearbook?
类似同学录
-她也喜欢你吗 -老实说 我不知道
- Does she like you back? - Honestly? No clue.
她很喜欢开玩笑挖苦人
I mean, she's got this super‐sarcastic sense of humor,
这让我很难知道她什么时候是认真的
which makes it really hard to tell when she's being serious, but...
但不知怎的 我挺喜欢
I don't know, I kinda like it.
兄弟 她喜欢你 她为什么不喜欢
Ah, dude, she likes you. What's not to like?
你这么认为吗
You think so?
-我教你个追她的方法 听好 -请说
- Look, this is how you get her. Ready? - Please.
你只需要把大部分注意力都放她身上
All you have to do is give her tons of attention.
经常给她打电♥话♥
Call her a lot, you know?
比如"你好啊 在干啥 我是小莫"
Be like, "Hey, what's up? It's Mo."
你说 "你好吗"
You know, "How are you?"
然后她回答 "你好"
And she'll be like, "Oh, hi."
打电♥话♥ 而不是发短♥信♥吗
Call her, not text her?
留意她喜欢什么
Pay attention to what she likes.
比如她喜欢星巴克的什么饮料
Like what drinks she likes at Starbucks.
而且如果你陪她一起上学
That's really cute if you,
然后说"我给你买♥♥了个星冰乐"
like, get her-- walk her to school
她会好感倍增的
and be like, "I got you a Frappe." You know?
然后 当你们刚开始熟悉起来
And then just as you start getting close,
你就开始慢慢对她冷淡
that's when you slowly start to back away
就装作好像她不存在一样
and you go fuckin' ghost.
-听起来不错 -对 然后她就抓狂了
‐ Very cool. ‐ Yeah, and then she'll go nuts.
她会想 "怎么了 我以为小莫喜欢我"
She'll be like, "What the fuck?! I thought Mo liked me!
他为什么不给我的照片点赞了
Why isn't he liking my photos?
我很丑吗 我做错什么了吗
Am I ugly? Did I do something wrong?"
那时你就彻底征服她了
And that's when you got her.
也就是你发动猛攻的时候
That's when you swoop in like a hawk.
-做♥爱♥吗 -对
‐ Sex? ‐ Yes.
我的天 你们可真恶心
Oh, my God. You guys are gross.
怎么了 我错了吗
What? Am I wrong?
不 你没错 你的建议肯定能起作用
No, you're right. And your advice will definitely work.
但你是渣男 所以你用这些套路
But you just use these tricks because you're a dick.
也许小莫只要做自己就行
Maybe Mo can just be himself,
姑娘们会喜欢他的 因为他是个好男人
and girls will like him because he's such a great guy.
对 你说得没错
Yeah, you're right.
知道吗 小莫比你长得帅多了
You know, Mo is way better looking than you.
帅哥们不需要玩这些套路
Hot guys don't need to play those kind of games.
真有你的 在我家里羞辱我
Wow. In my own house.
你说你吃过了是什么意思
What do you mean you already ate?
泽克的女朋友给我做了晚饭
Well, Zeke's girlfriend actually made me dinner.
挺好吃的
It was pretty good.
真好
Oh, perfect!
也许泽克的女朋友也能帮你洗衣服
Maybe Zeke's girlfriend can do your laundry
帮你你交学费 送你
and pay for your school and dri‐‐
你好
Hello?
有人吗
Hello?
你好 索菲
Hey. Sophie?
我是小莫
Uh, hey. It's uh‐‐ It's Mo.
莫罗·哈里斯
Monroe Harris.
好的 什么事
Yeah. What's up?
没什么 你呢
Nothing much. Uh, you?
你打电♥话♥来只是为了打招呼吗
Did you just call me to say hi?
-对 这是不是有点奇怪 -有点
- Yeah, is that...? That's weird, isn't it? - Yeah.
你在干什么
Well, uh, what are‐‐ what are you doin'?
我在看《火线重案组》
Just watching The Wire.
-不错 -对
‐ Nice. ‐ Yep.
你知道吗
You know, you're, like,
你是从初二开始第一个打电♥话♥只为打招呼的人
the first person since eighth grade to call just to say hi.
是吗 那现在是谁没有朋友
Oh, yeah? Well, who's the one with no friends now?
我有朋友
I have friends.