超级青春期

莫罗
Monroe.
莫罗
Monroe!
我知道这看起来挺糟
I know this seems bad,
但这并不全是我的错
but it's not entirely my fault.
六年前
是这人的错
It's his.
泽克是我姐的男朋友
Zeke was my sister's boyfriend.
我不知道他们承不承认这种关系
I don't know if they called themselves that.
据我所知 他还有其他女朋友
I mean, for all I know, he had other girlfriends in other houses
她们和我姐一样 也要看护自己的弟弟
who babysat their little brothers.
可我能怎么办 凯特已经是个大姑娘了
But what was I gonna do? Kate was a big girl.
而我还是个小孩子
And I was not a big guy.
但泽克从来不把我当孩子
But Zeke never made me feel small.
他不像家长或老师那样跟我说话
You know, he didn't talk to me like my parents or teachers did.
他带我坐过山车 看限制级电影
He took me on rollercoasters, he took me to R‐rated movies,
他带我喝酒
he let me taste beer.
还给我看他手♥机♥里的女孩裸照
He showed me a picture of a naked girl on his phone.
都是成年人的东西
Adult stuff.
他很酷 他让我觉得我也很酷
He was the man, and he made me feel like the man.
我要当演员
I could be an actor.
不可能 你长得太丑了
No, you're too ugly.
对 但我像史蒂夫·布西密一样丑帅
Yeah, but like, in a hot way like Steve Buscemi.
知名演技派演员 曾参演了《落水狗》等电影
好吧 你像史蒂夫·布西密
Oh, okay. Like Steve Buscemi.
怎么 你觉得我当不了演员吗
What, you don't think I could be an actor?
我可没这么说
No, I didn't say that.
那好吧 你来测试我一下
All right, fine. Try me.
小莫 跟我说我的狗死了 快说
Mo, tell me my dog died. Go ahead.
-什么 -跟我说 我的狗死了
‐ What? - Tell me my dog died.
-你的狗死了 -不 像告诉我噩耗那样
‐ Your dog died. ‐ No, like, break the news to me.
就像是真的那样
Like it's real.
泽克 我很抱歉告诉你
Zeke, I'm really sorry to tell you this.
怎么了
What?
-你的狗死了 -别他妈扯了 伙计
‐ Your dog is dead. ‐ Stop fuckin' lyin', man!
它不可能死 你说真的吗
There's no way he's dead. Are you sure?
你说真的吗
Are you sure?
这不可能 我昨天还和它在一起
This is insane. I was just with him yesterday.
它看起来那么健康
He looked so healthy.
-天啊 为什么 -天啊 泽克
- God! What the fuck?! ‐ Jesus, Zeke!
-怎么样 -试试我 试试我
‐ Eh? How about that? ‐ Do me. Do me.
好好好 开始吧
All right, all right, all right. Here we go. All right.
小莫
Mo
莫罗
Monroe
你的狗昨晚被车撞了
Your dog was hit by a car last night.
-什么 -它死了
‐ What? - He was killed.
-不 不可能 -是我撞的
‐ No. No, it's... ‐ I was driving the car.
我喝高了 脑子不清醒
I was shit‐faced. It was against my better judgement.
好了 他才十岁 十岁 泽克
All right, okay, he's 10. He's 10, Zeke.
别对我哭 兄弟
Don't you start crying on me, bro.
别哭了 你搞得我也要哭了
Don't you start crying, 'cause then I'm gonna start crying.
他妈的
What the F?!
怎么样 很好玩的 好了 该你了
Eh? That was fun! All right, you go.
我没有 对不起 我
Yo. I didn't do‐‐ I'm sorry. I...
你很抱歉吗 那你为什么要睡她
You're sorry? Why did you fuck her to begin with?
-我没睡她 -你就睡了
‐ I didn't fuck her. ‐ You did fuck her!
我绝对没有 我只是喜欢她的照片
I absolutely did not. I just liked her photo.
你还想骗我 你想骗我 然后再
You're gonna fucking lie? You're gonna cheat on me and then...
她以前很胖 后来减了肥
She used to be fat and she lost a bunch of weight.
那是夏天 她看起来又漂亮
And it's summer and she looks good,
所以我喜欢那张照片 说了句"卧♥槽♥"
so I liked the photo and I said, "Damn!"
我 我再也受不了了
I just‐ I can't do it anymore.
-对不起 -分手吧 我再也受不了了
- I'm sorry! ‐ I'm done. I can't do it anymore.
对不起
I'm sorry!
别这样 回来
Come on! Come back!
求你 该死的
Plea...? Ugh. Fuck.
你要去哪里
Where you going?
你该回屋里去了
You should go back inside.
我能跟你一起去吗
Can I come with you?
不行 我觉得她不会同意的
No, I don't think she would like that very much.
求你了
Please?
她和我分手了 老弟 这不行 抱歉
She broke up with me, dude. It's not, you know... Sorry.
那我们也不再是朋友了吗
Does this mean we can't be friends anymore?
你没有同龄的朋友吗
Don't you have friends your own age? I mean...
但你更酷
But you're way cooler.
这倒是
This is true.
行吧 上车 我们出去转一个小时
All right, hop in. We can hang for like an hour.
你在干什么 坐前排
What are you doing? Get in the front.
他们不让我坐前排 因为前排有安全气囊
Oh, I'm not allowed to sit in the front because of the airbag.
别跟个怪胎似的
Don't be weird.
你好 泽克
Hey, Zeke!
"得来速"的服务员认得你吗
The drive‐thru lady knows your name?
-没错 小老弟 -真酷
‐ Hell yeah, little homie. ‐ Sick!
♪ 已经过去了很久 ♪
♪ I know it's been so long ♪
♪ 自我们分别以后 ♪
♪ Since we saw each other last ♪
♪ 我知道我们会找到某种方式 ♪
♪ I'm sure we'll find some way ♪
♪ 消磨分别的时光 ♪
♪ To make the time pass ♪
♪ 你好 月亮 ♪
♪ Hey moon ♪
♪ 今夜只有你我 ♪
♪ It's just you and me tonight ♪
♪ 其他所有人都已入梦 ♪
♪ Everyone else is asleep ♪
♪ 你好 月亮 ♪
♪ Hey moon ♪
♪ 如果我要堕落 ♪
♪ If I was to fall ♪
♪ 我愿堕落得彻底 ♪
♪ I would fall so deep ♪
♪ 尽管我不知道我是否会这样 ♪
♪ Though I doubt I'm gonna ♪
♪ 若你愿意 可以唤我醒来 ♪
♪ You can wake me up if you wanna ♪
♪ 你苍白圆润的脸庞 ♪
♪ And your pale round face ♪
我们走吧
Let's get the fuck outta here.
超级青春期
-他今晚出去吗 -我不知道
‐ Tonight? ‐ I didn't know.
等等 现在才几点
Wait. What time is it?
我一会回来
Hey. I'll see you guys later.
你们俩要去哪里
Where are you two going?
他为什么像那样一直按喇叭
And why does he have to honk like that?
我们出去吃顿饭
Uh, we're just gonna go get some dinner
然后看棒球赛
and then watch the baseball game.
-你都不问一下吗 -我能出去吗
‐ Were you even gonna ask? ‐ Um, please?
他为什么不进来吃饭
Why doesn't he come in to eat?
说真的 他是不是觉得我们听力有问题
Seriously, does he think we're hard of hearing?
等等 等等 等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
我已经做了饭
You know what, I already made dinner
我不想浪费 所以
and I don't want it to go to waste, so...
把这个带上 还有餐叉
Take that. And fork.
餐叉 拿了 谢谢 爱你 老妈
Fork. Got it. Thanks. Love you, Mom.
我以为我们会一起看比赛
Hey, I thought we were gonna watch the game together.
我们之前没说过这事
Um, I mean, we never said that.
那 我能
So, can I...?
-行了 去吧 -谢了 再见
‐ Okay, go. - Thanks. Bye.
真的绝了 你遇上一个小孩
It's amazing how, you know, you meet some kid‐‐
一个十六岁的小流氓 谁想得到
some 16‐year‐old punk‐‐ and you have no idea at the time
他会每天把车停你家门口
that he's gonna be parked in front of your house every day
停一辈子
for the rest of your goddamn life.
和女孩上♥床♥前你得先打一次飞机
You gotta jerk off before you go fuck a girl.
你明白我在说什么吧
You know what I'm saying?
因为如果你不这么做
Because if you don't,
你会秒射 然后她就会嘲笑你 懂吗
you'll come really fast and she'll laugh at you, okay?
我来接你之前就打了一次飞机
I jerked off before I picked you up.
永远得这样 伙计 要时刻准备好
Always, man. Gotta always be prepared.
我不知道今晚我们要去哪里
I don't know where the fuck we're going tonight.
-我决定了 -好的
- I made a decision. - Okay.
-我要做脱口秀主持人 -真的假的
- I'm gonna be a talk show host. - No way!
-像吉米·坎摩尔那样吗 -对
‐ Like Jimmy Kimmel or something? ‐ Yeah.
吉米·坎摩尔 《吉米今夜秀》的主持人
-真酷 你应该开始做播客 -没错
‐ Yo, that's sick. You should start a podcast. ‐ Totally.