开荒岛民（2016）

"开荒岛民" 前情提要...
Previously on "Wrecked"...
丹尼·华♥莱♥士♥ 他家族有几十亿资产
Danny Wallace? His family's worth billions!
我是迪克兰·斯坦维克 这是我的私人岛屿
I'm Declan Stanwick. This is my private island.
这里简直就是地狱
This place is bad news!
这家伙的墙上挂着人头
The dude has human heads on the wall!
所以 你要做什么 杀了我们吗
So, what are you gonna do? Are you just gonna kill us?
不 我要们摧毁你们
No, I'm going to break you
看你们互相残杀
and watch you hunt each other to the death.
我觉得我们有麻烦了
I think we're in trouble.
玛莎
Martha!
史蒂夫有点不对劲 快来
Something's wrong with Steve! Come quick!
我们刚发现他这样了 全身冰冷
We just found him like this. He's ice-cold.
是谁
Who's that?
有人吗 我全身冰冷
Hello? I'm ice-cold.
你冷吗 但这里挺暖和的啊
You're cold? But it's warm here.
他肯定是病了
He must be sick.
他肯定病得很厉害
He must be so sick!
我想你最好还是进来这里
I guess you probably better come on in here
看一下他 对吧
and take a look at him, right?
谁躲在墙后面
Who's behind the wall?
没人啊
No one.
是那个傻瓜 对吧 松弛的麦康纳
It's the dumb one, isn't it? Flabby McConaughey?
可能在 干什么...举着块石头吗
Probably what... Holding a rock?
不是
No.
是噢 我不会进去的
Yeah, I'm not coming in there.
-该死的 -妈了个...
- God damn it! - Son of a...
松弛 你觉得我看起来肉很松驰吗 巴尔法
Flabby?! Does this guy look flabby to you, Barfa?!
他的孪生兄弟肌肉比尔怎么样
How about his identical twin brother, Pecsas Bill?!
好吧 这下可好了
Well, that's just great.
我卖♥♥力地表演 但周围都是菜鸟
I'm acting my ass off, and I'm surrounded by amateurs.
这又是惠灵顿晚餐剧场那种情况
This is the Wellington Dinner Theater all over again!
就面对事实吧... 我们不得不互相残杀
Just face it... We're gonna have to kill each other
在这糟糕的"饥饿游戏"里 我们甚至还不能
in a shitty "Hunger Games," and we're not even gonna get
从蓝尼·克拉维兹[摇滚巨星]那里得到酷衣服
cool outfits from Lenny Kravitz!
听着 我们还有八个人 他们只有两个
Listen. There's still eight of us and two of them.
只要我们人数占优势 我们就有战斗的机...
As long as we got the numbers, we got a fighting ch...
当我没说 是架直升飞机 他们可能来更多人了
Scratch that. It's a chopper. There's probably more of them.
我们死定了
We're dead.
谁会干这种事情啊
Who would do this?
谁会逼别人互相残杀啊
Who would make people hunt each other?
有钱人 就是他们
The rich. That's who.
别搞错了 有钱人都是怪物
Make no mistake, rich people are monsters.
谁想要带着蛋蛋的猩猩肉
Who wants gorilla with their eggs?
布鲁斯特 要猩猩肉排吗
Brewster, ape steak?
你捏肥狗的时候它会放屁吗[肥狗也指有钱有势的人]
Does a fat dog fart when you squeeze it?
我当然要猩猩肉排啦 来吧
'Course I'm havin' ape steak, man. Come on!
埃罗尔 你呢
Errol, how about you?
不 我还是吃素的
No, I'm still vegan,
就像去年和前年一样
just like last year and the year before that.
好吧 我相信玛莎会给你找些蔬菜 好让你...
Well, I'm sure Martha can find something green for you to...
塞满你的屁♥股♥
stuff in your pussy.
这笑话跟他去年讲的完全一样
It's the exact same joke he said last year.
-还是很好笑 -不 并不好笑
- Still lands. - No, it doesn't.
-并不好笑 -还是很好笑
- No, it doesn't. - Still lands it.
先生们 我想感谢你们腾出时间
Gentlemen, I would like to thank you for clearing space
百忙之中来参与这次即兴的狩猎
in your busy schedules to come along to this impromptu hunt.
发生了什么 迪克兰
What's happening, Declan?
我知道你已经抓不到足够多的参赛者了
I know you couldn't have rounded up enough contestants already.
不 皮博迪 我的确没有
No, Peabody, I have not.
几个星期前 一个海盗联♥系♥我说
A few weeks ago, a pirate contacted me about some cargo
她遇到了一些货物... 一架坠毁飞机的幸存者
she had come across... the survivors of an airline crash.
我准备把他们带来这
I was ready to bring them here.
我告诉她我想要他们的器官
I told her I wanted their organs.
当然 我省略了一小段关于狩猎的事情
I left out the little bit about the hunting, of course.
但她后来消失了
But then she went dark.
我几乎放弃努力了 直到两天前
I had almost given up on the endeavor until two days ago
他们八个人就这样被冲上我的海岸
when eight of them just washed up on my shore.
-不会吧 -认真的吗
- No way. - Are you serious?
这几率太小了吧
What are the odds?
我想这将是我们至今为止最好的一次狩猎
I think this is going to be our best hunt yet.
-太好了 -真棒
- Yeah! - All right!
伙计 我可太想看别人互相残杀了
Man, I am so pumped to watch people hunt each other.
做有钱人太棒了 这太棒了
Being rich is awesome. This is awesome!
打起精神 俘虏们
Look alive, meat!
斯坦维克先生想把你们展示给他的客人们看看
Mr. Stanwick wants to show you off to his guests.
但首先 得冲洗掉你们身上的臭味
But first, we have to clean the stink off you.
好了 听着 我们明白 我们是你们的俘虏
Okay, listen, we get it. We're your captives.
但我们能不能互相有一点尊...
But can we just treat each other with a little bit of resp...
好冷
So cold!
先生们 请允许我向你们介绍今年的参赛者
Gentlemen, may I present to you this year's contestants.
好吧 我会很开心的
Well, I'll be.
这可是我见过的一群最像下等人的
If this ain't the most rag-tag-lookin' group
没用的狗♥娘♥养♥的...
of sorry sons of bitches I ever did...
恐怕我得在这打断你了
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to stop you there.
你看 你们已经犯了一个严重的错误
You see, you've already made one grave mistake.
噢 是吗 是什么呢
Oh, yeah? And what's that?
你没有把我绑起来
You've left me untied.
惊喜吧
Surprise!
埃罗尔的手环可以发出高达一千伏特的电流
Errol's bracelets can deliver up to 1,000 volts
传遍你的身体
of electricity coursing through your body
只需要按一个按钮
with just the touch of a single button.
它还可以计算你的步数
It can also count your steps.
好吧 我还是... 改变一下我的策略
Right. I'm just... I'm changing my strategy a bit.
我还是站回... 队伍里吧
I'm gonna join the... Line.
在迪克兰岛 我们有个小小的传统
We have a little tradition here at Isle de Declan.
在我们把你们送到外面互相残杀至死之前
Before we send you out to hunt each other to the death,
我们想给我们的猎物起名字
we like to name our prey.
你
You.
站出来
Step forward.
见鬼了
Holy shit.
开头就是很困难的一个
We're starting with the hard one.
我意思是 他就是... 他太路人了
I mean, he's just... He's so bland.
-对啊 -你懂吗
- Yeah. - You know?
我意思是 比如 如果我闭上眼睛
I mean, like, if I close my eyes,
我甚至不会记得他长什么样
I can't even remember what he looked like.
我想叫他 "香草"
I'm getting "Vanilla."
好 玛莎
Done. Martha?
下一个
Next!
简单 辣妹
Easy. The Hot One.
-是的 -去你丫的
- Yep. - Screw you.
-还有 谢谢你 -下一个
- Also, thank you. - Next!
有没有那种又讨厌又垃圾的人的名字
What's a sort of douche-baggy, desert-trashy sort of name?
-呃 托德 -什么
- Uh, Todd? - What?
下一个
Next!
哦 我想到了
Oh, I got it.
"澳拜客" 和那家牛排馆一样
"Outback," like the steakhouse.
那实际上是澳大利亚的店
Well, that's actually Australian.
我来自新西兰 所以...
I'm from New Zealand, so...
-呃 "鲜花绽放" -这名字很棒
- Uh, "Awesome Blossom"? - Yes!
那是红辣椒烤肉餐厅的 甚至不是澳拜客...
That's Chili's. That's not even Outback. That's...
下一个
Next!
呃 "辣妹"如何
Uh, "The Hot One"?
那杰丝和我都叫"辣妹"吗
So, Jess and I are both "The Hot One"?
是的 这样很难分 呃 "可爱妹"如何
Oh, yeah. That is confusing. Uh, "Cute One"?
我觉得没那么难分
I don't think it's that confusing.
-下一个 -嗨
- Next! - Hi.
看这个小家伙 他小得像只有一品托
Look at that little fella. He's pint-sized!
一品托 我觉得更像是半品脱 我说的没错吧 伙计们
Pint-sized? More like half pint, am I right, guys?
对 你说得对
Yes! You're right!
嘿 你想要些牛排吗