开荒岛民（2016）

想想就刺♥激♥ 要是这飞机就这么...
Wouldn't it be crazy if this plane just...
"开荒岛民"前情提要
Last season on "Wrecked"...
-我们坠机了 兄弟 -我们要死了
- We crashed, man! - We're all gonna die!
我们不会死的 好吗
No one is gonna die, okay?
所有的飞机餐和急救药品...
All the airline food and first-aid stuff...
-就这么没了 -真的打到蛋蛋了
- It's all just gone? - It's a real nut punch.
最痛的打击... 莫过于打在蛋蛋上
The worst kind of punch... Right on the nut.
我们活得像大猩猩
We are one step away from living like apes.
我们干嘛不去打猎呢
Why don't we go hunting?
要是有野猪过来... 嘣 嘣
And when it comes... Boom, boom!
我们可以搞一个选举
I think we need an election.
这座小岛的新领袖是... 史蒂夫
The new leader of the island... Steve!
我们要创造一个新的社会
We're creating a new society.
谁能决定我们应该实行哪套法律系统
Who's to say what sort of legal system we should be using?
我们应该像"法律与秩序"里一样做
I just figured we'd do it like on "Law & Order."
好吧 我喜欢那部剧
Yeah, I like that show.
把他扔进坑里
Throw him in the pit!
这太操蛋了 操♥你♥妈♥
This is effed up! You freaks!
我做了一些难以启齿的事情
I've done unspeakable things.
无论你做了什么 没那么糟糕的
Whatever you did, it can't be that bad.
-我吃人了 -我了个去... 哇
- I ate a dude! - Holy sh... Okay.
我们在这鬼地方度日等死
We are all slowly dying on this hellhole!
干♥死♥你♥ 傻♥逼♥岛
You, island!
抱歉
I'm sorry!
我们不会离开小岛
We're not leaving the island!
他杀了粪坑
Did he just kill Turdhole?
我迷了心窍
I stuffed up, okay?
-那儿有艘船 -我们得救了
- There's a ship! - We're saved!
其实我们不是真的渔民...
The truth is we're not actually fishermen...
我们是海盗 孙子们
We're pirates, mother
-丹尼·华♥莱♥士♥ -你不知道他是谁
- Danny Wallace? - You don't know who this is?
他家可有亿万家产
His family's worth billions!
讲真 你得跟我们走
Seriously, you need to come with us
不然我们就把你朋友都杀了
or we're going to shoot all your friends otherwise.
去他妈的
Son of a bitch!
我要再来一杆
I'm taking another shot.
得了 迪克
Come on, Dick.
高尔夫不是这么玩儿的
That's not the way the game's played.
不好意思 杰瑞
I'm sorry, Jerry.
难道去年我没有帮你公♥司♥
Did I not bail your company
解决三亿的资金垄断问题吗
out of a $300 million cluster last year?
你有
You did.
-不好意思 我没听见 -你帮了
- I'm sorry. I-I-I-I didn't hear you. - You did.
那好 要是你们两个傻屌♥没意见
Well, then if it's okay with you two jagwagons,
我就再来一杆
I'm gonna take another shot.
爸爸
Dad!
天煞的 玛格特
God damn it, Margot!
我正在挥杆呢
I was right in the middle of a shot.
是丹尼 他们打算停止搜索
It's Danny. They're calling off the search.
哦 那就这样吧
Well, that's that, then.
什么 爸爸 万一他还活着呢
What? Dad, what if he's still out there?
根本是浪费时间 我不会再砸钱了
I'm not paying for a waste of time.
他可是你儿子
He's your son.
你弟弟落地那天开始 就一直在烧我钱
I've been losing money on your brother since the day he was born.
坦白说 飞机坠毁
Frankly, that plane going down
对保护我们的财产来说 是件大好事
was the best thing that ever happened to our legacy.
好了 没事的话
Now, if you'll excuse me,
我要去湖边钓球了
I got to go fish my ball out of a goddamn lake,
-弄的像巡回钓鱼比赛... -爸爸
- like some kind of itinerant fish... - Dad?
-天呐 -我去 迪克
- My God! - Holy shit! Dick!
谢天谢地
Thank God.
你父亲的遭遇 我深表遗憾 玛格特
I am so sorry for your loss, Margot.
谢谢你 汤姆
Thank you, Tom.
我不是故意烦你
I don't mean to pester,
但是遗嘱这件事还是很重要的
but there's still the matter of the will.
我想知道你如何定义
I need to know how you want me to classify
你弟弟的失踪
the disappearance of your brother.
汤姆 我父亲刚过世
Tom, my father just passed.
这事不急
It can wait.
当然
Of course.
我弟弟...
As for my brother...
我打心眼儿里相信 他肯定还活着
I know in my heart of hearts that somewhere, somehow, he's alive.
丹尼 给我过来
Danny! Get over here now
不然我就用这杆枪爆♥你♥菊♥花
or I'm going to shove this gun up your asshole!
快上船 否则灭了你们
Get in the boat, or I'll kill everybody!
等等 等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
我说 这就是个误会
You know, I think that this is all just a big misunderstanding.
丹尼才不是亿万富翁的儿子呢
Yeah, Danny is not the son of a billionaire.
啥... 你在说啥
Wh... What are you talking about?
看他这德性
Look at him.
有钱人才不会穿这身破衣烂衫
You don't let yourself go like this if you've got money.
对吧 你再看看他的鞋
Right? I mean, look at his shoes.
谁会穿这种鞋
Nobody chooses shoes like these.
再看他那口牙
Look at his teeth!
又黄又不齐
They're all crooked and yellow.
穷♥人♥的牙才长这样
These are poor-people teeth!
-还有 丹尼是个胖子 -啥
- Also, Danny is fat. - What?
这可不是心宽体胖 是吃快餐给撑的
Not like an, "I love life" fat, but like a fast-food fat.
你丫狗♥日♥的♥给我闭嘴
You know what? Shut the up.
我们知道你是谁 告诉他
We know who you are. Tell him.
是真的
It's true.
-什么 -真的啊
- What? - Really?
看吧 都知道了吧
Cool? We good?
过来
Come on.
要想带走他 那就先杀了我
If you're going to take him, you're gonna have to kill me first.
我随口说说的
I didn't think this through!
求你别杀我 天呐
Please don't kill me! God!
谁来救救我 快救我 救我啊
Somebody help me, somebody help me, somebody help me!
去死吧
Get ready to die.
先杀我吧
You're gonna have to kill me first, too!
-真的吗 -真的
- For real? - For real.
你得先杀了我 然后杀他
You're gonna have to kill me first, then him,
才能带走丹尼
and then you can take Danny.
你也得先杀了我
You'll also have to kill me first, too, as well.
好 还有谁想找死
God, okay. You know what? Who else wants to die?
站出来吧
Let's get that out of the way.
还有谁
Anyone?
托德
Todd.
我拒绝
No.
-托德 -不
- Todd. - No.
托德
Todd!
我靠
God damn it.
罢了 算我一个 排他们后面
Fine, me too, I guess, after them.
也算上我 我不怕死
Put me down, too. I'm ready to die!
-没错 -我也不怕
- Yeah. - I can die.
好 好 好 大家冷静
Okay, okay, everyone just... Just... just chill out!
让我们讨论一下 好吗
Just give us a second to talk, okay?
嘿 老兄 这岛气场不对吧
Yo, man, what the hell's wrong with this island?!
这就很尴尬了
This is very unsettling, okay?
这要我开枪处决
I don't know that I feel comfortable executing,
-30人 我心里不踏实啊 -我实话告诉你
- what, like, 30 people? - And I got to be honest with you.
我都没那么多子弹
I don't have enough bullets in the gun to handle this mission.
啥 妈蛋 叫你别瞎突突
What? Damn it, man. This is why you can't be popping off.
好吧 我错了
Well, I'm sorry.
你错了有屁用 这事儿都说几回了
No, you're not sorry, 'cause we have the same talk.
我道歉了还不行吗
This is... This is me being sorry!
我有办法
I have a plan.
不 不行
No, no!
你疯了吗
Are you crazy?!
你要掏出枪 咱就团灭了