开荒岛民（2016）

"开荒岛民"前情提要... 我要击溃你们
Previously on "Wrecked"... I'm going to break you
看着你们互相残杀至死
and watch you hunt each other to the death.
杰丝
Jess!
-我在哪里 -她以为自己还在大学
- Where am I? - She thinks she's in college.
-你住在洛杉矶吗 -杰丝对派克有意思了
- You live in L.A.? - Jess has a boner for Pack.
各位 我们能不能集中注意力 拜托
Guys, can we focus, please?
想想我们要怎么逃出这个山寨版"饥饿游戏"
Namely on how we're gonna get out of this "Hunger Games" knockoff?
凯伦 求你了
Karen, please.
等等 迪克兰告诉我...
Wait! Declan told me that...
等等 是谁干的 谁... 谁射死了他
Wait, wait. Who was it?! Who... Who shot him?!
天啊
Holy shit.
各位 我们能不能集中注意力
Guys, can we focus, please?
想想我们要怎么逃出这个山寨版"饥饿游戏"
Namely on how we're gonna get out of this "Hunger Games" knockoff?
-这不可能是真的 -是真的 伙计
- This can't be real. - Oh, it's real, pal.
你抢我女人 我拿你狗命
You take my girl, I take your life.
托德 我什么都没干
Todd, I didn't do anything.
-这是你和杰丝之间的事 -你错了
- This is between you and Jess. - Wrong!
这是你和德瑞克·暴击之间的事
This is between you and Derek Punchly.
-谁是德瑞克·暴击 -我的拳头
- Who's Derek Punchly? - My fist!
而且他还带着他的双胞胎兄弟 提米·爆头
And he brought his twin brother, Timmy Cold-cock.
如果他们是双胞胎 为什么姓会不一样 你这个白♥痴♥
If they're twins, why do they have different last names, you idiot?
派克 我们俩应该组队 如果我们一起狩猎
Pack, we should team up. We'll have a better shot of surviving
活下来的机率会更大
if we hunt together.
我意思 不是那种"在一起"的在一起
I mean, not like together-together.
我意思是 除非你 想"在一起"那样一起狩猎
I mean, unless you, like, wanted to hunt together-together.
杰丝 听着 我受宠若惊
Jess, listen, I'm very flattered,
但是 我只是觉得现在时机不对
but I just don't think the timing's right.
-我的天 当然 -不是因为你
- Oh, my God. Totally. - It's not you.
只是因为你前夫想谋杀我 你知道的
It's just that your ex-husband's trying to murder me, you know.
好吧 我意思是 这个 随便啦
Yeah. I mean, this is, like, whatever?
我们应该随意玩玩地一起狩猎 你知道
We should just hunt together casually, you know.
嘿 杰丝 我了解你
Hey, Jess. I know you.
你不是真的喜欢这个细根仔
You don't actually like this needle dick.
你只是... 你从来都有男朋友
You just... You always had a boyfriend.
你觉得自己不能一个人做任何事
You don't think you can do things on your own.
天呐 才不是这样
Oh, my God! That is not true!
我喜欢独处 你可以 倾听下自己内心真实的想法
I love being alone. You can, like, really hear your thoughts.
托德 我和杰丝没有一起狩猎 我发誓
Todd, Jess and I are not hunting together, I swear!
我们不会... 这不是...
We wouldn't... This is not...
派克 等等我
Pack, wait!
棒呆了
Hell, yeah.
嘿 派克
Hey, Pack!
我要像球棒尼斯·伊芙狄恩一样收拾你
I'm about to go all Bat-niss Everdeen on your ass.
凯特尼斯·伊芙狄恩是"饥饿游戏"女主角 擅长射箭
因为我拿了球棒和... 箭 还有...
'Cause of the bat and... the arrows and...
不管了 你死定了
Whatever! You're dead!
-别跟着我了 -不 我不要自己一个人
- Stop following me! - No! I'm not doing this alone!
我真的会死的
I'll literally die!
你还好吗
Are you okay?
听着 派克
Hey, Pack!
我要把你的蛋蛋从你嘴里扯出来
I'm gonna rip your nuts outta your mouth!
我的天 快 用叶子把我埋起来
Oh, God! Quick, cover me in leaves.
-这是唯一的办法了 -那我要躲在哪里
- It's the only way! - But where should I hide?
除了这里 哪都行
Anywhere but here!
杰丝 等等
Jess, wait!
你能把我的脸盖上吗 我手臂埋起来动不了了
Can you cover my face? I can't do it and keep my arms covered.
谢谢 快走 快走
Thank you! Go, go, go, go, go, go!
真行啊
Well, well, well.
让我看看是谁在... 这里
What do we have... here?!
天呐 对不起
Oh, God! I'm sorry!
杰丝喜欢我不是我的错
It's not my fault Jess likes me.
我只是真的很有魅力
I'm just really charming.
是吗 好吧 我很生气
Yeah, well, I'm pissed!
感觉这就是你的错
And it feels like your fault,
所以 我打算狠狠教训你
so I'm just gonna take it out on you!
我的天 我杀死他了吗
Oh, my God. Did I just kill him?
不
No.
你把他敲晕了 你从哪里学来的
You conked him. Where did that come from?
我高中是护旗仪仗队的
Oh, I was in color guard in high school.
你是说那些到处挥大旗的呆瓜拉拉队员吗
You mean the nerd cheerleaders that wave big flags around?
才不是 我是说那些很酷的
No. I mean the cool cheerleaders
不会穿得像婊♥子♥的拉拉队员 而且我们也不挥旗子
who don't dress like hookers. And we don't wave flags.
我们转旗子
We spin them.
你真的很会使这个东西
You can really handle that thing.
我不想吹牛 但我们做出了州的形状
I don't want to brag, but we made state
用这个厉害的惠特尼·休斯顿招式
with this killer Whitney Houston routine.
是是是 随便了 听着 杰丝
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Listen, Jess.
我觉得我们应该一起狩猎
I think we should hunt together.
是那种"在一起"的一起
Like, together-together.
我的天
Oh, my God.
真的吗 好的 好吧
Really? Okay. All right.
所以 我们应该原路返回继续攻击 对吧
So, we should double back and go on the offensive, right?
让这根棍子发挥作用
Put this stick to use.
是的 这是个好主意
Yeah, that is a great idea.
我很喜欢这个想法 但我在想
I really like that idea, but I was thinking
我们应该用你的棍子走路 对吧
we use your stick to walk, right?
然后也许我们应该从走变到跑
And then maybe we turn that walk into a run,
然后我们直接跑到一个藏身的地方
and then we run directly into a hiding spot.
如果有人找到了我们 你可以保护我们 用你的...
And if anyone finds us, you can protect us with your...
棍子功夫
stick stuff.
你说呢... 宝贝
What do you say... babe?
好啊 我们躲起来吧
Okay. Let's hide.
好的
Okay.
什么鬼
The hell?
很像吃了致幻药的幻觉 对吧 托德
Pretty trippy, huh, Todd?
罗伯·考德瑞
Rob Corddry?
HBO喜剧"球手"的男二号♥
Second lead on HBO's "Ballers"?
我要在这里打断你了
I'm gonna have to stop you right there.
我不是"男二号♥"
I'm not "the second lead".
这片是双男主 我和巨石强森
It's a two-hander. It's me and The Rock.
等等 发生了什么
Wait. What's going on?
杰丝去哪了
Where's Jess?
我刚刚要打派克 然后...
I was just about to thump on Pack, and...
然后现在你躺在那里了
And now you're there.
我死了吗
Am I dead?
不 不不不
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
还没有 你身边的这一切
Not yet. This all around you?
这... 这个 这些的大部分...
This... This thing, most of those...
这是你的无意识领域
This is the realm of your unconscious.
你很走运 我将会引导你通过
Lucky for you, you got me to guide you through it.
你是说 罗伯·考德瑞是我的精神导师
You're telling me Rob Corddry is my spirit guide?
哦 天啊 太棒了 兄弟
Oh, hell, yeah, my dude!
哦 哥俩嗨起来
Whoo! We're gonna get naughty.
等等 等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
如果你在这里 这说明... 不
If you're here, that means... No.
不 不会吧
No! Oh, yeah.
我知道有什么了
I smell what we're cooking.
他在哪 巨石强森在哪
Where is he, huh? Where is The Rock?
不
No.
你在哪里 道恩 你个大家伙
Where are you, D, you big boy?
他真的没来 好吗
Actually, he's not here, okay?
只有我 没有巨石强森
It's just me, no Rock.
道恩·强森现在在拍九部电影 好吗
D.J.'s shooting, like, nine movies right now, okay?
我觉得他可能没空来某个人的梦境片断里
I think he's a little busy for some random dude's dream sequence.
另一方面 有我呢
Me, on the other hand, huh?
快 来击拳 兄弟
Come on, hit that shit, man!
-球手万岁 -球手万岁
- Boom! Ballers. - Ballers.
很好 我来告诉你接下来做什么
Nice. So, this is what's gonna happen.
我们要走过那扇门
We are gonna step through that door,
你会学到关于你自己的一堂课
and you are gonna learn a lesson about you.