副总统（2012）
Veep S05E05
Part 2
Oct. 12, 2020, 7:53 p.m.
Madam President. Dr. Abernathy.
总统女士 艾伯纳西医生
If you could please have a seat. Gary. Dr. Abernathy.
您请坐下 盖瑞 艾伯纳西医生
You're here. I'm here to assist the president.
你来啦 我来协助总统
Well, I think that Karen and I can handle this.
我和凯伦能应付得过来
I'm so sorry. How are you?
我很抱歉 你没事儿吧?
I'm fine, thank you.
我没事儿 谢谢
I'm just a little nervous, I have to confess.
我得承认 我有点儿紧张
You're gonna be fine. Yeah.
一切都会很好 好的
You're gonna be fine, ma'am. In fact, I usually perform
您不会有问题的 我一般做的手术都
things that are a bit more complicated than a De-bagging.
比去♥眼♥袋♥复杂得多
A De-bagging? Is that what you just said?
你是说去♥眼♥袋♥吧?
I thought you said tea-bagging.
我以为你说了去蛋蛋[字面:茶包]
No, no, no. That's my department.
不不 泡茶是我的专长
He means that literally. He doesn't know what the other thing is.
他说的是字面意思 他不知道另外的意思[tea-bagging指将阴囊放入他人口中]
Anyway, listen, can you just
总而言之 你能不能
talk me through this procedure one more time?
再跟我讲解一下这次手术?
It's quite simple. I actually
很简单的
don't have to make any cuts to the exterior dermis.
我不会在你的外部真皮动刀
It's all approached internally from behind the eyelid.
是直接从眼皮后方切入
There's gonna be a little swelling
可能术后会有肿胀现象
and of course a tiny bit of bruising afterwards.
当然也会有点淤青出现
Ooh, bruising? Yes, Gary, bruising.
啊 淤青? 是的 淤青
That's when a little blood collects underneath the skin.
是皮肤下面的一点点的血块淤积
It's not a problem for an actual doctor.
在专业医生眼里这些都不是事儿
Now, the beauty of this procedure
这个手术的好处就是
is that we can do it today and you'll be healed by Monday.
今天做完 周一你就能恢复了
And I'll look 10 years younger.
而且我看起来年轻10岁
That would make you a baby.
年轻十岁你就变婴儿啦
Okay, it's Shall we get started?
够了 我们开始吧?
Okay. Yeah. Gary, if you'll please excuse us.
好的 盖瑞 不好意思请回避
It's very easy for me just to sit right there.
我就坐在那儿我会很乖的
I've got it. Easy.
我知道了 真的很乖哟
Officials are reporting a
官方消息称
salmonella outbreak... You seeing this?
沙门氏病菌爆发... 你看这个报道没?
...that has led to 37 hospitalizations in four states.
...已经导致四个州出现37名患者住院治疗
POTUS is still getting permanently Photoshopped.
总统还在为自己的脸做永久PS呢
Let's get the head of the CDC out there, calm everyone down.
得让疾病防控中心的领导站出来控制局面
Let's send Tom James out as well. He's a tall drink of Xanax.
也让汤姆·詹姆斯出来 他是瓶人形抗焦虑药 胡扯界大佬
The number of people taken ill is
生病人群数量是达不到
orders of magnitude below statistical significance.
统计显著性的量级
Do people not understand basic nonparametric statistics?
人们都不懂非参数统计吗?
Or how to cook a fucking turkey.
也他妈不懂怎么把火鸡烤熟了
Oh, sir, you're here now. Good.
先生 您在这儿
So Ben told me that apparently... We're being deployed.
本告诉我... 我们被派遣了
Operation Calm the Fuck Down.
执行 去你♥妈♥的♥冷静点 任务
Yes. Come on in.
是的 进来吧
Just the guy I wanted to see.
正想找你呢
Ooh, uh-oh. I know that number.
我知道这个号♥码
The number of the beast Sidney Purcell.
是西德尼·珀塞尔那个禽兽的
I don't know why he keeps calling me.
我不知道为啥他总打我电♥话♥
His comprehension of the word no
他对别烦我这种潜台词的理解能力
hovers somewhere around drunk college quarterback level.
就像是个喝醉酒的大学四分卫的水准
But anyway, sir, how can I help you?
但是我要怎么帮助您呢?
Got a little something for you.
给你准备了个东西
Carol in personnel owed me a favor.
人事部的卡罗尔欠我个人情
Oh, this is gonna wipe that crooked smile off Jonah Ryan's face.
这东西可以把乔纳·瑞安脸上恶心的假笑刷下来了
I think that's genetic.
我感觉它天生就笑得恶心
You know, Egan, I work a little differently than the president.
伊根你知道吗 我和总统的风格不同
As far as treating my staff, I try not to act
至少在对待下属方面 我可不像个
like an alcoholic father who has just stepped on a Lego.
刚踩到乐高玩具的醉酒老爸
I value openness and straight talk.
我信奉开明和坦率
You're part of the James team now.
你现在是詹姆斯团队的一员了
Part of my inner circle. I'm honored.
是我圈内的人了 我很荣幸
So raise your right hand and repeat the oath.
举起你的右手跟我一起宣誓
I'm fucking with you. Come on, let's go.
我逗你的 走吧
That's very good, sir.
真幽默 先生
Mike! Mike! Mike, is this a salmonella epidemic?
迈克!迈克! 这次的沙门氏病菌是流行性的吗?
Is the president going to make a statement?
总统会出面发言吗?
She will be making a full statement soon--
她很快就会出面发言
sooner than you think, but only when she's ready.
比你们想的要快 但她得做点准备
Right now, though, I'd like to bring up Dr. Robert Weinberg
而现在有请出来自疾病防控中心的
from the Centers for Disease Control. Dr. Weinberg.
罗伯特·温伯格医生 温伯格医生有请
This is not good. It's fine.
真糟糕 没关系的
Everybody's watching football. There's only a couple cases.
大家都在看球赛 再说只有几例感染
No, Wendy's pissed.
不 温蒂发飙了
I left her at home with her folks and my folks plus her kids.
她一个人在家应付她父母我父母 还有她孩子
Shit, I don't even know who's at my house.
妈的 我都不知道我家里有谁
I don't even know if they're in town.
我都不知道他们是不是在城里
I hate to admit it, but sometimes
我不想承认 但是有时候
I'm scared of Wendy.
我真怕温蒂
She still has a great rack, though.
不过她还是胸器动人
What do you think? Oh, yeah. You did great, ma'am.
看起来怎么样? 很不错 总统女士
Oh, good. Excuse me, ma'am.
那就好 打扰一下 女士
Hi, guys. Doesn't she look amazing?
你们好啊 她是不是美呆了?
Jesus, you look like a southern housewife
我滴妈 你就跟个搞砸了丈夫晚餐的
who just burned her husband's dinner.
南方家庭妇女似的[南部家暴梗]
Ma'am, the salmonella outbreak has mushroomed.
夫人 沙门氏病菌爆发引起了轩然大♥波♥
The cases now number over 200.
已经超过200人感染
Oh, my God. Are you kidding?
我的天 你在逗我吗?
Should I make a statement? Ben: No, that's not a good idea.
我要讲话吗? 不 这可不是个好主意
No one should see you while your face is... marinating.
您的脸腌好之前还是不要见人了
Okay, she just had 10 years taken off her eyes.
拜托 她的眼睛刚刚被拿走了十年
Yes. Well, I don't think they left yet.
是的 我觉得这十年还没走干净
You just stay hidden, okay? Doctor's orders, right?
你就先别出现 好吗? 谨遵医嘱 对吧?
What are you asking him for? He's not a doctor.
你问他干嘛? 他又不是医生
I mean, he doesn't have any academic qualifications to speak of.
他都没有啥拿得出手的文聘证书
Well, I have a bachelor's degree in hotel management
我可是有着康乃尔大学酒店管理
from Cornell University. No, you don't.
学士学位的人 你才没有呢
Maybe we should ask the vice president to make a statement.
或许我们得让副总统去做个声明
No! He's the old face of this administration.
不! 别拿他那张老脸出去丢人了
This is the new face. It's a beautiful face.
这才是政♥府♥的新面孔 美丽的面孔
Well, you know...
你懂我...
So may we go ahead and ask Doyle?
那我们去问问道尔吧?
All right, fine.
好吧
It really hurts to roll my eyes.
翻起白眼来好疼
Okay, yes, ask Doyle.
好 让道尔去
But don't tell him why.
但别告诉他为什么
It's okay. It's okay.
没事的 没事的
Please don't keep touching me every day.
请不要天天摸我了
The first ever Thanksgiving,
历史上第一个感恩节
there was actually no turkey at all.
当时完全没有火鸡
Did you know that? Fascinating.
知道吗 神奇啊
The pilgrims, they ate deer
清教♥徒♥们 他们吃鹿
and harvest vegetables like corn, zucchini.
和收割的蔬菜 比如玉米 西葫芦
They yelled at Grandpa, obviously.
他们还是会冲爷爷吼[过节亲戚矛盾梗]
Of course. Some truths are eternal, but no turkey.
当然了 真理是永恒的 只是没有火鸡
Thank you, Senator. You're welcome.
谢谢 议员 不用谢
Happy Thanksgiving and early Hanukkah.
感恩节快乐 预祝光明节[犹太教节日]快乐
Yes. We will be right back after this short break.
好 休息一下马上回来
And we're clear. I love the Hanukkah bit.
直播结束 我喜欢光明节那部分
Good. I'm jonesing for a cup of coffee.
很好 我急需一杯咖啡
I mean sell my sweet white ass on a street corner jonesing.
我是说可以为此在街角卖♥♥身的那种急需
Yeah, tell me about it.
可不是吗
Oh, yeah. Sure, yeah.
当然 好啊
Also one cream, splash of half-and-half, one sugar, one Splenda.
还是一份奶 糖和代糖各半
If that's not too much trouble.
如果不麻烦的话
Not at all. I'm... - Egan to please.
没有 我... 伊常荣幸根你服务[姓伊根 名字笑话]
Mr. Vice President.
副总统先生
Ben, I would have you to the table, but my wife,
本 我想把你请到桌边坐 但我的妻子
she fucking hates you as do I.
她和我一样特别恨你
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