澳野巫踪（2016）

我真不敢相信来了这么多人
I cannot believe this many people showed up.
我也不敢相信那不是黄油
I can't believe it's not butter
但我是哦!
but I am!
走开 黄三由人
Get out of here, Butter Man!
人家叫黄油人
It's pronounced Butterman.
我没打算留在这
I wasn't planning on staying.
香脆性感的小圆烤饼(美女)需要我
The cry of a dry crumpet calls to me.
直到我们再次相融
Til we melt again!
我们干嘛不改改规则 好让只有我能留下
How don't we just change the law so that only I can stay?
嗯唔
Mhmm.
看 Jack 看看这群人
There, Jack, look at this crowd.
人们陆续来了 我们也不是毫无胜算
The public are coming around, this isn't a lost cause
所以你上台说点什么吧
so just get up there and say something.
好吧 好吧 我只是需要
Okay, okay, okay, just gotta
把那个黄油佬从我脑海里赶出去
get that butter guy out of my head,
真是个疯狂的家伙 老天
it's a fucking dude, man.
你最好相信"油"
You butter believe it!
住嘴
Quiet!
嘿
Hey!
Jackie 成龙大哥 嘢 嘢 嘢 嘢
Jackie, Jackie Chan, yeah yeah yeah yeah!
我都不知道你开派对呢
I didn't know you were having a party.
好酷哦 老兄
It's really cool, man .
你好
Hello.
喔日安 宝贝
Oh good day, love.
Skulldrich 你来这只是为了嘲弄我吗
Skulldrich, did you come here just to mock me?
那是爆米花吗
Is that popcorn?
是 又不是
Yes and no.
是 我来这是为了嘲弄你
Yes I am here to mock you
不是 这是圣甲虫
but no, these are scarab beetles.
不好意思 伙计 它们有点干
Sorry, mate, they're a little dry.
当然"油"了
But of course!
哇塞 棒棒哒
Neat-o, neat-o petit-o.
但我还得上台演讲呢
But I've got a little speech to make
所以你俩能不能油开 滚开
so maybe you could just butter off, bugger off.
这真好 Jack
Good on you, Jack.
祝你好运
Break a leg.
对 腿啊 脊柱啊
Yeah, leg, spine.
妈的 全都折断吧
Hell, break it all.
嘢
Yeah.
你在发短♥信♥
You texting?
真酷
That's cool.
好了
Okay.
嗨
Hi.
嘿
Hey!
小伙们 小妞们
Guys, girls.
不管那是什么
Whatever that is.
十分感谢你们的到来 真是出乎我意料
Thank you so much for coming, what a turn out.
你们都关心我的呼吁 这点对我来说意味深远
It really means so much that you all care about my cause,
这个呼吁 我们的呼吁 对这么多人都是很重要的
this cause, our cause, really matters to this many people.
我是Jack
I'm Jack.
滚蛋吧
Boo!
滚蛋 是吧
Boo, am I right?
你可能是因为鱼腥味周四而认得我
You might remember me from Fishy Thursday
也可能是因为我在电视上吹爆了Morgan Wright的耳膜
or the time I blew up Morgan Wright's eardrum on television.
是啊 干得漂亮你这混球
Yeah, nice one ya dickhead!
又或者举个积极的例子
Or a positive example...
你觉得那怎么样
What'd do ya think of that?
我已经不知道该说什么了
And I have run out of words.
莲花打坐
Lotus.
大家好 他尽力了
Hello, he tried.
好了各位 我们都知道我们在此的原因
Okay, guys, well we all know why we're here
所以我们现在请在座各位自♥由♥发言
so let's just open the floor for public discussion.
嗨 我是Marvolo Loprego - 站起来
Hi, Marvolo Loprego. - Get up.
16级魔法师一名
Sorceror, level 16.
嗨Marvolo
Hi, Marvolo.
享受你16级的美妙时光吧 兄弟
Enjoy that level sweet 16, mate,
美好光阴总是过得特别快
it'll be over before you know it.
你几级的
What level are you?
噢 我是
Oh, I'm level...
要知道 你可不是镇上唯一的巫师
You know, you're not the only wizard in town.
我们有些人已经在这住了几个世纪了
Some of us have been here for centuries,
完全没被人察觉到 你却突然冒出来了
going completely unnoticed and then you turn up,
把火车站变成了鱼
turn a railway station into a fish
突然之间大家都叫我们滚蛋了
and suddenly we're all being told to fuck off.
我是
I am .
我呃 我呃
I uh, I uh .
真是个混♥蛋♥
What a cunt!
嘿我是Zandark 亡灵法师一名
Hey, Zandark, necromancer.
你好啊Zandark
Hey, Zandark.
你好Skulldrich
Hey, Skulldrich.
那么Zach 不对 是Jack 不好意思
So Zach, so Jack, my bad.
你的请♥愿♥书似乎是要呼吁
It seems your petition calls for any acts
我们这些死人立刻住手
of raising the dead to cease forthwith.
我觉得这对于我们的一些特长和癖好来说
I think that's pretty unfair considering
真的很不公平
some of our professions, fetishes.
恶心
Gross.
还有为什么不能杀人
And what's with no murdering people?
什么
What?
嗷 去死吧
Aw, boo!
去死吧
Stick it up your--
沙包
Beanbag.
冷静点大家 拜托
Cool it, guys, come on.
大家好 我是"鼻涕喙操蛋"
Hello, I'm Snot-beak Fuck-Nuggs,
圣库克巫师理事会的发言妖精
spokesgoblin for Saint Cook's Wizards Council
是为了那些毫无吸引力的人争取平权的
for Equal Rights for the attractively impaired.
你好
Hello.
哦对 你的文件上
Oh yes, your documentation,
并没有给那些外形外貌有缺陷的
you have no options for aesthetically-challenged members
魔法社区的成员之类的留有选择
of the magical community whatsoever.
这是怎么回事 伙计
What's the story there, mate?
我没想过这问题
I didn't think of it.
我也不知道老兄 听着 如果你想融入
I don't know man, look, if you wanna fit in
你为什么不改改名字 你叫什么来着
why didn't you change your name from, what was it?
"屎鸟屌♥唇"什么的 改成Tim之类的多好
Shitbird Dicklips, into something like Tim.
我要告诉你 "操蛋"是一个尊贵的妖怪姓
I'll have you know that Fuck-Nuggs is a proud goblin name.
你得注意点哦 小伙伴
You gotta tick on you, mate.
烂爆了
Boo!
你这个满嘴谎言 花言巧语的家伙
You fraudulent poet.
我讨厌这人
I hate this man.
噢 我都要看硬了
Oh, I've got such a hard-on right now, man.
狗♥日♥的♥美杜莎 她看了一眼然后就
Fucking Medusa, she took a peek of this and...
他讨厌他们
He hates them.
瞧他那衣服
Look at his shirt!
什么
What?
Skulldrich
Skulldrich.
现在这个真够冒犯人的
Now that is very offensive.
他还尝试过叫我放弃烧烤呢
He tried to get me to stop Barbie.
妈的 澳大利亚没烧烤成什么了
Hell, what Australian is that?
她只是想成为宇航员
She just wanted to be an astronaut.
你这凶手
You murderer!
就没人想到我可怜的Baby Bones吗
Won't anyone think about my poor baby bones?
他一点都"不持久" 不像Enrique
And he can't even keep it up, unlike Enrique.
还有我的热水已经停了好几天了
And my hot water hasn't been working for days!
没错 他就是个变♥态♥
That's right, he's a pervert!
他在餐厅里把我弄得好湿啊
He got me so wet in a restaurant that I was late
搞得我在跟布兰登费舍和蕾切尔薇姿的约会迟到了
for a date with Brendan Frazier and Rachel Weisz,
他们可是主演<可爱的骨头>与<蹦蹦猴>的明星啊
star of The Lovely Bones and Monkeybone, respectively.
我喜欢他
I like him.
谢谢你 Terry
Thank you, Terry.
去你的 Terry
Fuck you, Terry!