辛普森一家

说到另一个不同话题 我们可否...
On a totally different subject. Can we possibly...
不 不 不行 不要让我讨厌你们
No, no, no! Don't make me hate you like this.
钉子
听着 你们要一起创建些什么
Look, you are going to build something together.
星辰将对你们来说唾手可得
You're gonna reach for the stars,
但请不要真的去摸 星星很烫手
but don't touch them. They're hot.
你们不觉得这话很有趣 对吗
You don't think that's funny, huh?
因为你们一团糟到根本不会欣赏伶俐
'Cause you're too screwed up to appreciate cleverness.
你们要放开思想
Let your minds run wild.
记住 你们不是坐在一台电视前
Remember, you're not sitting in front of a TV.
孩子们 谁想看《猫鼠大战》
Hey-hey kids, who wants to see Itchy and Scratchy?
*它们闹 它们咬 他们闹完咬完又闹*
* They fight, they bite They fight and bite and fight *
其中一个已死去
And one is dead.
我想这也算是开了个头
I guess it's a start.
我在漂流
I'm streaming.
好吧 我们从来没能全员回家
Yeah, we never come back with all of them,
但自然就是这么奇妙
but nature's amazing
因为最后走的总是该走的那个
because the one that's gone is the one that should be.
春田市政厅
我想我们都在想同一件事 这...
I think we're all thinking the same thing: There...
没...男...
Are... No...
人
Men!
我们终于可以做那些男人不同意的事了
We can finally do the things that the men are always voting down.
一座女性博物馆 有一个性早熟♥女♥孩的侧翼楼
A women's museum with a precocious girls' wing!
我们要把胎火扑灭
We will put out the tire fire and
然后把它换成香薰蜡烛
replace it with scented candles.
免费日托
Free daycare.
对所有这些美好的提案 我表示同意更同意
To all those wonderful proposals, I say done and done.
《恶搞之家》 拿爸爸开涮
Ugh, Family Guy, dad jokes.
《美国老爹》 拿爸爸开涮
American Dad! Dad jokes.
《老爸不当家》
Daddy's Not Home.
版权归福克斯电视台所有
从未播出 但我一个朋友让我看了试播集
It never made air, but a friend of mine showed me the pilot.
又蠢又胖的爸爸和他们的火♥辣♥妻子们
Stupid fat dads with their way hotter wives.
"我喜欢甜甜圈和保龄球" 现在谁还这样
"I like doughnuts and bowling." Who does that anymore?
好了 孩子们 团队协作
That's it, boys. Teamwork.
*谁都看出我们合作的棒 因为我们一起唱*
* You can tell we get along Because we all learned one song *
我就是今天的最佳靓仔
I'm the catch of the day.
你们从这个夏令营学到了什么吗 儿子
Have you learned anything from this camp, Son?
我学会了沟通 打开心灵
I learned to connect, to expand my mind.
我...我不用每五分钟看次手♥机♥
I-I don't have to check my phone every five minutes.
每十分钟看一次就行
Every ten minutes is fine.
来抱抱我 孩子
Wow. Give me a hug, boy.
多好的拥抱
Now that's a hug.
你不觉得吗 弗雷迪 别要小费了
Don't you agree, Freddy? No tip.
好了男子汉们 我叫你们男子汉们
All right, men, and I call you men
是因为一个好消息 你们就要成功了
because good news, you're almost there.
太好了
Yes!
为了完成这次旅程你们还必须做一件事
There's one more thing you must do to complete your journey.
最终测试
One final test.
晚餐食物需要你们亲自去杀
You must kill your dinner.
来 我实在找不到野猪
Now, I couldn't get a wild boar,
但我有一只恶贯满盈的鸭子
but I do have an aggravated duck.
等等
Wait!
杀掉可怜无助的动物怎么就能让我成男子汉
How did killing a poor helpless animal make me a man?
我认为一个真正男子汉应该领养鸭子并关怀它
I think a real man would adopt a duck and take care of it.
谁是好鸭子 你是好鸭子
Who's a good duck? You's a good duck.
呱呱 呱呱 呱呱
Quack, quack, quack, quack. Quack, quack.
这就是正确答案 善良
That's the right answer. Kindness.
很好 侯默
Good, Homer.
你能做出这个选择我非常开心
I'm very glad you made that choice.
但就算你杀了那只鸭子 也没关系
But even if you killed the duck, it's okay.
还有四只动物可以去杀
There are four animals that are okay to kill,
但我上的已经是领一堂课
but I'm getting into a whole other course.
你们下一个周末还会回来
You'll come back another weekend.
恭喜 你们现在是真男人了 大家都是了
Congratulations. You are now men. All of you.
我现在要说句
And I'm gonna say something
治疗团体里不会说的话了 我们的任务完成了
we never say in the therapeutic community: We're done here.
走吧 我认真的 快走 我们要做的都做完了
Go. No, I mean it literally. Get out. Go. We're done.
日托中心
晚托中心
女性博物馆
早熟♥女♥孩展区
莫伊莎普拉提 脚趾女王的音乐商店
春田镇
轮胎堆场(划掉)
烛火
强悍的姑娘
喂 真不错 真好
Hello. Oh, that's great. Great.
谁啊 老妈
What is it, Mom?
男人们要回来了
The men are coming back.
西摩这个蠢货 不
Stupid Seymour. Oh, no.
大家给我一分钟
Now wait just a darn minute.
男人们的回归并不等于
The men coming back doesn't mean
我们要放弃已经取得的成就
we have to give up what we've achieved.
我们消除了暴♥力♥犯罪
Violent crime has been eliminated.
女孩们能开心地学习科学技术工程和数学
Girls are embracing the STEM subjects.
而且 我们的时尚研究员
And get this: our fashion scientists
已经研发出大口袋的女性牛仔裤了
have developed women's jeans with bigger pockets,
我们能把手♥机♥放进去了
so our phones fit.
不介意谐音梗的话 一切尽在牛仔 基因里
It's all in the genes, if you'll pardon the obvious pun.
女士们 我们达成共识 我们要告诉男人们
So, ladies, we agree. We tell the men
现在这个镇归我们管了 就这么定了
we run this town now, and that's that.
给他们做一顿塞满馅料的火鸡大餐怎么样
How about we cook them a nice turkey dinner with stuffing?
等他们快睡着了再告诉他们
When they're almost asleep, then we tell them.
真不敢相信你们这么怕
I can't believe you're all afraid to
告诉自己丈夫他们毛用没有
tell your husbands they're useless.
我就不怕 所以我丈夫蜜月的时候把我甩了
I wasn't, and that's why he left me on our honeymoon.
那个蜜月是最不令人失望的了
Least disappointing honeymoon ever.
欢迎来到春田镇
马姬 那个训练营太棒了 我简直脱胎换骨了
Marge, that camp was awesome. I'm so evolved, it's scary.
好耶
Booyah!
做到了很多事 对吧
Actualized much?
真不错 真好啊
Well, that's great. Just great.
你们不在的时候 女人们差不多接管了所有事
While you were gone, the women kind of took over,
我们其实干得很棒
and we really did a great job.
达夫托儿所
健康易买♥♥超♥市♥
羽衣甘蓝春季促销 疯狂坚果 大豆盛宴 豆腐块 仅停放卧式自行车
胡萝卜
妈妈的单轨列车
挺好 但是 -闭嘴
Well, it's good, but... - Shut up.
是 教官
Yes, sir.
马姬 可能 只是有可能 我们才是问题
Marge maybe, just maybe, we were the problem.
是啊 说得没错
Yes, that's right.
马姬 你可能会惊讶
Now, Marge, this may shock you,
但是现在我要直视你的双眼
but right now I'm going to look into your eyes.
没错 来吧 我要冲你来了 有点吓人哦
Yep, here it goes. Coming at you. Jeepers creepers.
我的老天
Oh, my goodness.
你知道我现在有什么感觉吗
Do you know what I'm feeling right now?
性趣盎然吗 -我感受到了爱
Um, aroused? - Love.
该死 就差一点
Damn, I was so close.
再等四年半吧
Four and a half more years.
我们又成功了 亚历克萨
We did it again, Alexa.
又有一群男人踏上了通往
Another group of men set on the path
共情和理解的道路
to empathy and understanding.
是的 我的意愿又一次被实现了
Yes, once again my will is done.
我是说我们配合得很好 喘气的家伙
I mean, we're a good team, mouth breather.
所以你准备什么时候购买♥♥
Now when are you going to buy
你放在亚马逊购物车里的浴帘
that shower curtain in your Amazon shopping cart?
我还没想好 亚历克萨
I don't know about that, Alexa.
一开始只是一条浴帘
It starts with the shower curtain,
然后你就会想让我重新装♥修♥整间浴室了
then you want me to redo the whole bathroom,
哪天我就会突然换个新的屋顶了
and then, suddenly, I'm putting on a new roof.
明白了 添加新屋顶到你的购物车
Got it. Adding new roof to your cart.
不 不 我不想买♥♥屋顶
No, no, I didn't want that.
取消 快取消
Cancel, cancel.
我不想收到个写着"带状疱疹 屋顶板"的包裹
I don't want a package that says "shingles."