堕落（2013）

It wasn't an attack.
你怎么能这么说 我只是
That's unfair. I was...
-我只是想 -你想怎样
- I just wanted... - What did you want?
我也不知道
I don't know.
和我上♥床♥ 攻下我 操♥我♥ 还是干我
To fuck me? Nail me, bang me, screw me?
我不会对你用这种词
I wouldn't use those words about you.
我明确说了不要 吉姆
I was saying no, Jim, quite clearly.
你无视了我的意愿还是想要强迫我
You ignored me and carried on.
这不一样
It's not the same.
是不一样
No, it's not the same.
但你确实 过份了
But you still... crossed the line.
长官
Ma'am.
从斯派特保留的那缕头发中提取的
The DNA extracted from the lock of hair
DNA和所有受害人都不匹配
found in Spector's possessions doesn't match any of the victims.
它符合了斯派特自己的家族特征
It is, in fact, a familial match to Spector himself.
也许是他母亲的
His mother perhaps?
那照片确实很像他母亲 玛丽·加里森
Certainly the photograph appears to be his mother, Mary Garrison.
你是什么时候开始这样的 你觉得
When did all this begin for you, do you think?
哪样
All this?
从头开始给我讲吧
Take me back to the beginning.
从你的童年 家人开始
To your childhood, your family.
为什么
Why?
你保留着一缕头发
You have a lock of hair in your possession.
是你母亲的吗
Is that your mother's?
还有张照片
And a photograph.
是她的吧
Is that of her?
她对你来说肯定意义重大
She must have meant a great deal to you
因为你费心保存着它们
if you've managed to keep them
尽管这么多年来你辗转于
in your possession through all those years
少管所和劳♥教♥所
of care and juvenile incarceration.
每个人的母亲都对他们意义重大
Everyone's mother means a great deal to them.
但并非每个母亲都是自杀身亡
Not everyone's mother commits suicide.
她的自杀一定让你十分愤怒吧
That must have left you feeling very angry.
被抛弃
Abandoned.
孤独
Alone.
我以为你是最不会做出对母亲的指责的人
I hadn't expected to hear mother blaming from you of all people.
但你确实是个孤独的孩子
But you were a lonely child?
你就不是吗
And you weren't?
所有孩子都很孤独
All children are lonely.
我们和扬森神父谈了
We've spoken to Father Jensen.
你还记得扬森神父吗
Do you remember Father Jensen?
他还记得你小时候曾被他照看
He remembers you as a child in care.
他讲了个很有意思的故事呢
He has an interesting story to tell.
他说你威胁了他
He says that you threatened him.
威胁戳瞎他的眼睛
Threatened his eyesight if he laid a finger on you.
他告诉你的
He told you that?
他以前常带我们去野营
He used to take us camping.
每晚睡觉时
And every night when it came to bedtime
总会发现
there was always the same discovery,
我们少一个睡袋
we were one sleeping bag short.
于是就有个孩子得和扬森神父挤一个睡袋
The chosen boy was encouraged to share with Father Jensen.
我从没威胁过他或别人 我只是不洗澡
I never threatened him or anyone else, I simply didn't wash.
从来不
Ever.
大家都讨厌我
I was repulsive.
所以才没有被他看上
That's how I escaped his attentions.
他从没有选我和他挤一个睡袋
I was never invited to share his sleeping bag.
反而选择了送走我
I was sent away instead.
-送去了南部 -是的
- To the south? - Yes.
你开始强行入侵他人住♥宅♥的时候多大
What age were you when you started the breaking and entering?
恋物癖盗窃时
The fetish theft?
12岁左右吧
12 maybe.
你的幻想总是与性有关的吗
And were your fantasies always sexual in nature?
大家的幻想不都这样吗
Aren't everyone's?
你的性冲动是什么时候与暴♥力♥融合起来的
When did the sexual impulse become fused with violence for you?
你听起来力不从心啊 斯特拉
You sound a little out of your depth, Stella.
是吗
Do I?
我觉得是因为你在努力想理解
I think you're struggling to understand things
一个你的经历让你完全无法理解的事
that are way outside your experience.
那教教我啊
Enlighten me.
你很了解自己 斯特拉
You're a very self-aware person, Stella.
你花了许多精力思考自己
You spend a lot of time observing yourself.
你的性体验存在于精神层面
You have sex in the head.
我怀疑你从来没有全身心地投入其中过
I doubt you've ever... fully given yourself to anyone.
我怀疑你从未放松过自己
I doubt you ever truly lose yourself.
那么你有吗
And you have?
那些思想 我体会的感觉
The thoughts, the feelings that I experience
比你所说的幻想要多得多
are way beyond anything that you could call fantasies.
声音和颜色更鲜活
Sounds and colours are more vivid,
气味更强烈
odours more intense.
我的皮肤可以感触到哪怕最轻微的触碰
My skin becomes sensitive to even the slightest of pressure.
外界什么也不是
The outside world means nothing,
只有内心的世界是真实的
only the interior world is real.
才彻底引人入胜 令人着迷的
It is... utterly compelling, compulsive.
没什么能把你从悬崖边上拉回来
Nothing can pull you back from the edge.
任何法律 惩罚的威胁
Not laws or threats of punishment,
道德 信仰或对死亡的恐惧都不能
morality, religion, fear of death.
这些东西对你即将消逝的生命来说
All of those things are as meaningless
是毫无意义的
as the life that you're about to extinguish.
你第一次袭击是什么时候
When was your first attack?
一切都是从罗丝开始的吗
Did it all start with Rose?
还有其他我们不知道的受害者吗
Are there other victims... that we don't know about?
在菲奥娜·加勒格之前的受害者
Victims before Fiona Gallagher?
没有
No.
菲奥娜·加勒格是第一个
Fiona Gallagher was the first.
第一个你谋杀的人吗
The first person you murdered?
是的
Yes.
你承认从十二岁起就有过性暴♥力♥的幻想
'You admit to violent sexual fantasies from the age of 12.'
你是怎样抵♥制♥实施那样的幻想
How did you resist acting on those fantasies
一直到三十岁的
until the age of 30?
什么阻止了你
What sustained you?
我总会让自己忙于某项任务
I always had a project to occupy myself.
任务
A project?
研究某个女人
A woman... to study.
你有闯入她们的房♥子吗
Did you break into their houses?
有
Yes.
偷她们的内衣
Steal their undergarments?
是的
Yes.
袭击她们
Attack them?
没有
No.
为什么不
Why not?
我当时
I was...
我有孩子
I had children.
你现在也有孩子
You still have children.
幼小的孩子
Small children.
你是个未育的老女人 所以你不知道
You're a barren spinster so you wouldn't know,
幼小的孩子会占用很多时间
but small children take up all your time.
跟我说说第一次
Tell me about the first time.
是什么感觉
What was it like?
让我觉得想吐
It made me sick.
那味道让我恶心
The smell disgusted me.
第一次是最差的并且最难恢复的
The first was the worst and hardest to get over.
但闸门被打开 一条鸿沟被逾越了
But a switch had been flicked... A line crossed.
做了件不能回头的事
Something was done that couldn't be undone.
一件与芸芸众生不同的事
Something that separates you from the common herd.
事后我病了四天
I was ill for four days after.
你陷入一种存在主义冲击的状态中
You're in a state of existential shock.
但是然后你发现
But then you find yourself
神圣和世俗的力量的已不能撼动自己
unchallenged by divine and secular power.
好了 所以为什么不再做一次呢
OK... So why not do it again?
但做得更好
But better.
爱丽丝·门罗