舞台剧

你们即兴发挥吧
Improvise your way out of this.
幕后
舞台剧
直播开始
And we're live.
-我们现在该怎么办 -可以慌张吗
- What the fuck do we do now? - Panic?
-你还记得故事吗 -我不知道 一点点吧
- Do you know the story? - I don't know. A bit.
-那即兴表演呢 -即兴表演怎么了
- Well, what about the improvisation? - What about improvisation?
-你还记得规则吗 -即兴表演居然有规则
-You remember the rules? - There are rules to improvisation?
第一集的时候你自己说的
You said so in episode one!
我不记得我在第一集说过什么了
I don't remember what I said in episode one!
你为什么不好好记台词
Why don't you learn your lines?!
因为我把它们都写在便利贴上贴在屏幕周围了
I just stick them on fucking Post-It notes round the screen!
他们是不是还能听见我们说话
Can they still hear us?
-操 -快回去快回去
- Oh, fuck. - Go back, go back.
-圣诞快乐 -圣诞快乐呀 大伙儿们
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, everyone.
我是大卫·田纳特
I'm David Tennant.
麦克·辛...是我的名字
Michael Sheen... is my name.
恳请大家耐心等待 我们需要关闭摄像机
If we can just crave your indulgence while we shut the cameras off,
-只需几分钟 -没错 我们马上回来
- just for a few minutes. - Yeah, we'll be right back with you.
麦克·辛
大卫·田纳特
好了 摄像机关掉了
That's it. Cameras are off.
我们关掉了摄像机 女士们先生们
So, er, we've gone dark, ladies and gentlemen,
请您耐心等待 出了点技术故障
er, but bear with us. Having a couple of technical issues.
这些都是直播体验的一部分
All part of the live experience.
也许会漏几句台词 错过几次提示
There might be a few dropped lines and a few missed cues,
我们会没事的
但我们...我们会没事的
but we'll, er... we'll be OK.
这是一次直播 现在是平安夜
Erm, and, er, it's live. It's Christmas Eve.
意外难免对吧 开心就好
What do you expect? It's fun times.
我们会把技术故障处理好
So we'll get the gremlins sorted out at this end.
伊恩·麦克莱恩会来救我们
不 别走...
No, don't lea...
正如我同事刚刚说的
As you heard my colleague just... er, saying,
这是一种新事物
this is, erm, something new
那么当然了 新事物有时会有点吓人
and, of course, new things can be a little scary.
但我们非常幸运地
Erm, but-but we are very lucky
请来了戏剧大神们 他们已经在候场了
to have theatrical royalty waiting in the wings,
此时此刻他们正在开嗓热身
and gargling as we speak, and warming up.
并且...
And...
他们都走了
我们还准备了一部真正的圣诞经典
we also have a powerhouse of a true Christmas classic
来娱乐大家
to delight and entertain you.
乔治娅正在找人救场
当然了 今天的阵容还包括大卫·田纳特先生
And, of course, erm, Mr David Tennant,
视帝本帝
Mr Television himself,
还有我 我们都是专业演员
and I are consummate professionals.
-有消息传来 麦克 -什么消息
- News just in, Michael. - Yes?
我们以为自己关掉摄像机了 但当然了
We thought that we had cut the cameras, but, of course,
我们没成功关掉
er, the live stream is still running
所以大家从头到尾都在看着我们
and you, er, have been watching us all this time.
你们好
So, hello!
大家好呀
Hello, everyone.
这些都是直播体验的一部分
All part of the live experience.
没错 好了 话不多说...
Exactly. So, without further ado...
《舞台剧》团队很高兴为大家带来一次直播演出
The Staged team are pleased to present a live experience!
我们将上演《圣诞颂歌♥》
It's A Christmas Carol.
直播版
Live.
埃比尼泽·斯克鲁奇是个快活的老绅士
Ebenezer Scrooge was a jolly old gentlemen.
欢迎来到马利和斯克鲁奇事务所
Welcome to Marley & Scrooge.
-本 -没错
- Ben? - Uh, that's right.
本·马利
Ben Marley.
本·马利 雅各布·马利之子
Ben Marley, son of Jacob Marley.
-没错 -本
- That's correct. - Ben?
是马利 本·马利
Marley. Ben Marley.
是这样的 我爹和那个老骗子一起策划了这整件事
You see, my dad started this whole thing with the old humbug
直到你们忽然让埃比尼泽·斯克鲁奇下线了
till you unplug Ebenezer Scrooge.
-你为何会在这里 -是乔治娅派你来的吗
- Why are you here? - Did Georgia send you?
你是说乔治娅·克莱切特吗
Georgia Cratchit?
确实是她派我来的 没错
Georgia Cratchit did send me. That's right.
乔治娅为什么会派他来
Why would Georgia send him?
因为他懂即兴表演
Cos he knows how to improvise.
我可以帮你们熟悉规则 伙计们
I could help you with the rules, boys.
什么的规则
The rules of what?
雅各布·马利是名会计吧
Jacob Marley was an accountant, wasn't he?
是的 是的 雅各布...我爸爸...
Yes, yes! Jacob... My dad...
没错 雅各布·马利是一名会计
Yes, Jacob Marley was an accountant.
我愿意教你们会计行业的行规
I would love to teach you the rules of accountancy.
我的朋友们 第一条规则就是
Now, the first rule, my friends,
永远不说不
never say no.
对于会计行业而言这条规则听上去可太糟糕了
That sounds like a terrible rule for accountancy.
好了 如果有人敲门 我们就让他们进来
OK. If there's a knock on the door, we let them in.
-每次都放进来吗 -每次都放
- Always? - Always.
永远不说不 只说"好的 并且"
You never say no. You say, "Yes, and?"
-好的 并且 -好的 并且什么
- Yes, and? - Yes, and?
这句话还没说完呢
Well, that wouldn't be the whole sentence.
"好的" 然后你得继续补完整个句子
"Yes," and then you add more information.
-对对对 -我们晚点再说这个
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We'll talk about it later.
第二条规则 欢迎意外
Rule number two - accidents are welcome.
如今我们又晃荡到保险行业 不再是会计了
Well, now we're straying into the world insurance, not accountancy.
也许本·马利就是保险行业的
Well, maybe Ben Marley is in insurance.
我确实是做保险的
I am in insurance!
千真万确
I am in insurance.
我爸爸是会计 我是卖♥♥保险的
My dad's an accountant, I'm in insurance.
小心着点 我俩总是会逮到你们的
Watch out, we'll get you in the end.
明白我的意思吧
You know what I mean?
第三条规则是 不一定要做到时时刻刻搞笑
Rule number three is you don't always have to be funny.
只需努力让自己的搭档出彩
Just try to make your scene partner look good,
那你自然也会一样出彩
and you shall look good as well.
-明白了 -明白了
- Got it. - Got it.
好的 搞定了
Got it. We're good.
大家都达成了共识 我们试试吧
Everybody's on the same page. Shall we give it a go?
-好呀 -好的
- Oh, yeah! - OK.
敲门
Knock-knock.
-滚开 -一听就会 一做就错
- Go away! - Wrong immediately.
-真是迅速 -我好疑惑
- Immediately. - I'm so confused.
永远不说不 永远不说不
Never say no. Never say no.
没错 如果有人敲门...
That's right. And if there's a knock on the door...
你就让他们进来
You let them in!
我们就让他们进来
We let them in.
大家达成共识了吗 点头我看看
Are we all on the same page? A quick nod.
-这样我就知道我们是否达成共识了 -达成了
- Just so I know, we're all on the same page? - Yes.
太棒了 来了
Fantastic. Here it comes.
敲门
Knock-knock.
是谁呀
Who's there?
好呀 你好呀
'Ello. Oh, 'ello.
我是个孤独的颂歌♥歌♥手
I'm a lonely carol singer.
是个孤独的颂歌♥歌♥手
It's a lonely carol singer.
你好 你好 孤独的颂歌♥歌♥手
Hello. Hello, lonely carol singer.
你好呀 斯克鲁奇先生
Oh, 'ello, Mr Scrooge.
-我是斯克鲁奇吗 -是的 演吧
- Am I Scrooge? - Yep, go for it. Yeah.
-我不想演斯克鲁奇 -我就是说...
- Well, I don't wanna be Scrooge. - Well, I mean...
斯克鲁奇先生 斯克鲁奇先生 你好呀
Mr Scrooge? Mr Scrooge? 'Ello.
等一下 孤独的颂歌♥歌♥手
Er, in a minute, lonely carol singer.
为什么不是你来演斯克鲁奇
Why can't you be Scrooge?
我是鲍勃·克莱切特
I'm Bob Cratchit.
鲍勃·克莱切特
Bob Cratchit!
-很高兴见到你 -你好呀 可爱的颂歌♥歌♥手
- Good to see you! - Hello, lovely carol singer.
我曾经有一整个颂歌♥小队呢
You know, I used to have a whole group,
但现在只剩我一个人了
but now I'm lonely.
你呢 克莱切特
How about you, Cratchit?
见到你们我真是太开心啦
Oh, warming my cockles, so youse are.
我想演鲍勃·克莱切特
I wanna be Bob Cratchit.
抱歉 不行 你是斯克鲁奇
Sorry, no. You're Scrooge.