舞台剧

What if people don't want Chuckles?
那他们就该自己去组织个派对
Then they should have sorted it out for themselves.
这盆绿植太碍眼了
This is in the way.
我知道你不想再做一季
Look, I know you didn't want to do another series.
我知道 但这件事你起码得激动一点吧
I know that, but you've got to feel excited about this.
我可激动了
I do!
不知道会是哪个大明星来
I'm all starstruck with anticipation.
关于乔治娅的派对 我思考过了
I thought about Georgia's party.
你有足够的新意吗
Are you being original enough?
什么新意
With what?
娱乐形式上的新意
With the entertainment.
卡拉OK不就很有新意吗
Well, that's what the karaoke's about.
没错 但不如换成充气城♥堡♥ 海洋球
Yeah, but what about a bouncy castle, you know, a ball pit,
游戏区 奶昔和魔术师
soft play area, milkshakes and a magician?
别了吧 感觉会很糟糕
No, I'd feel bad about that.
是你太缺乏想象力了
You lack imagination.
你就看看有没有异味 确认一下基本事项和蛋糕
Just check the smell, confirm the basics and ask about the cake.
还有个蛋糕呢
The cake!
好了 你能让房♥间更亮一点吗 亲爱的
Right. Oh, can you get a bit more light, babe?
现在这边已经过了晚上十点半了·
Oh. Well, it's half past ten at night here.
那你就去拿盏台灯来打个光
OK, then get a lamp.
西蒙 你就打算全程一直举着那盆绿植吗
And, Simon, are you gonna hold that plant the whole way through?
-有这个可能 -安娜
- I thought I might. - Anna!
-你能催一下她吗 -好的
- Can you trace her, Michael? - Yes.
-西蒙 -谁叫我
- Simon. - Hello?
你准备好了吗
Are you nearly ready?
我们还需要一个蛋糕
We need a cake!
-一个蛋糕 -上面还要写个人名
- A cake? - With the name in icing on it.
-但这是个守灵仪式 -再过五分钟
- But it's a wake. - Five minutes!
再过五分钟就来不及了
I don't think we have five minutes.
你能不能跟餐厅确认一下
Can you just check with the restaurant?
-你想在蛋糕上写什么名字 -乔治娅
- What name do you want on it? - Georgia.
你能来帮我一下吗
Can you help?
好了 万事俱备
OK, I think we're ready.
我很喜欢这种悬念 感觉很刺♥激♥
I quite like the suspense. It feels exciting.
那家餐厅做不做蛋糕
Does the restaurant do cakes?
-蛋糕 -我忘了还得准备个生日蛋糕
- Cake? - I forgot about the birthday cake.
餐厅旁边就有个烘焙坊
Oh, there's a bakery next door.
那就好 我之后给他们打个电♥话♥
Well, then, don't worry, I'll call them.
他们会用杏仁蛋白糖做一些有趣的东西
Yeah, they do fun things with, like, marzipan.
比如裸女 摩托车什么的
Naked women, motorbikes and things.
我只需要蛋糕上写个"乔治娅"就好了
I just need "Georgia" written on it. So...
-那个派对是为乔治娅举办的吗 -没错
- The party's for Georgia? - That's right.
-地点在多乐士 -没错
- At Dolos? - That's right.
在圣诞节那天
On Christmas Day.
-还有个生日蛋糕 -大卫
- With a birthday cake. - David?
-怎么了 -为什么西蒙在安排我的派对
- Yeah? - Why is Simon arranging my party?
-他没有啊 -我没有啊
- He's not. - I'm not.
那你是帮谁安排的
Who are you arranging it for?
-麦克 -麦克
- Michael! - Michael?
这跟麦克有什么关系
What's Michael got to do with it?
怎么了
What?
西蒙是不是在帮你安排派对
Is Simon arranging a party for you?
我们能不能委婉一点
Can we please be a bit more sensitive?
我们为什么要委婉一点
Why do we need to be sensitive?
麦克不想让我提 但这其实不是生日派对
Michael didn't want me to mention, but it's not a birthday party,
-这是个守灵仪式 -守灵仪式
- it's a wake. - A wake?
-谁去世了 -麦克的牧师
- Who died? - Michael's vicar.
我怎么不知道我们有牧师
I didn't know we had a vicar.
现在是真的没了
Not any more.
-她的名字还是乔治娅 -麦克
- And that her name was Georgia. - Michael?
-嗯 -西蒙是在帮你安排一个守灵仪式吗
- Yes. - Is Simon arranging a wake for you?
-是的 -你那位牧师怎么了
- Yes. - What happened to the vicar?
出了很严重的事故
Terrible accident.
什么时候
When?
12月3日
December 3rd.
当时是什么情况
What happened?
她被一头驯鹿袭击了
She was attacked... by a reindeer.
好吧
Ah, ok.
-她多大了 -57岁
- How old was she? - She was 57.
为什么是你来安排她的守灵仪式
And why are you the one arranging it?
我是她最好的朋友
I was her best friend.
-我还以为我才是你最好的朋友 -闭嘴
- I thought I was your best friend. - Shut up!
你在哪里认识她的
Where do you know her from?
-主日学校 -在威尔士吗
- Sunday school. - Welsh?
-在希腊 -她信东正教吗
- Greek. - Orthodox?
-她是无神论者 -她叫什么名字
- Atheist. - Name?
-乔治娅 -姓什么
- Georgia. - Surname.
-田纳特 -好的
- Tennant. - Right.
该死
Balls!
大卫 是你让麦克来安排我的生日派对的吗
David, did you ask Michael to arrange my birthday party?
-是的 -好吧
- Yes. - Right.
而麦克让西蒙帮了忙
Michael, in turn, asked Simon.
本来不会被发现的
In confidence.
你为什么不说实话
I mean, why not ask a fucking spade?
-安娜把我的车钥匙藏起来了 -而西蒙又找我帮忙
- Anna hid my keys! - Simon, in turn, asked me.
所以你给自己安排好了一场生日派对
So you sorted your own birthday party.
派对上会有充气城♥堡♥ 披萨和一个叫笑哈哈的小丑
With a bouncy castle, pizza bites and a clown named Chuckles.
我觉得这派对挺不错的
It sounds like a good party to me.
-那家店里到底有没有活鸡味 -够了
- Did it smell of battery chickens? - Enough!
好了 这件事我们之后再说
OK, we will unpack this casserole later.
简直乱套了 而且难得一次 西蒙不是罪魁祸首
This is total chaos, and for once, Simon is the least to blame.
能听到这些话我很开心
Well, that's really good to hear.
谢谢你说这些话 乔治娅
Thank you so much for saying that, Georgia.
我希望各位都能记住
And I'd like you all to remember that impression
你们此刻对我的印象 因为过会儿可能就破灭了
that you have of me right now because it might not last too long.
此刻似乎是个好时机来坦诚一切
This seems like a good time to tell you, to confess...
我可能在特邀演员的事情上
that I might have misled you just a little
误导了你们一点点
about our guest star, and...
大家好 大家好 大家好
Ciao, tutti. Hello, hello! Shwmae, shwmae, shwmae.
这次我总准时了吧
Am I finally on time?
-分毫不差 -真不错
- Absolutely spot-on. - That's great.
我知道各位都很忙
Listen, I know you're all terribly busy,
没有太多时间
you don't have much time,
那不如我们直入主题吧
so why don't I just jump straight in?
-好的 -《圣诞颂歌♥》
- Sure. - A Christmas Carol.
没错 《圣诞颂歌♥》
Yes, A Christmas Carol.
第一个问题 谁演谁
First question. Who is playing who?
而且我之前听到了一些风声
And not just because I heard a whisper earlier,
是否会有大咖级的特邀演员加入
can we expect any high-profile guest stars?
-西蒙 -西蒙
- Simon? - Simon?
-西蒙 -西蒙
- Simon? - Simon?
-抱歉我迟到了 -露西
- Sorry I'm late. - Lucy?
-大家好 -我们没想到你会来
- Hi! - We weren't expecting you.
我想给各位介绍一下你们的新搭档
Well, I wanted to introduce you to your new co-star.
-新搭档 -西蒙没说吗
- Co-star? - Didn't Simon say?
他提到了一些但没细说
He mentioned something.
我们一起在这边拍戏
We've been working together here,
然后西蒙让我问问他的想法
and Simon asked me to reach out to him.
是吗
Did I?
你不是给我发了一堆语♥音♥消息吗
In all those voicemails?
我确实说了 没错
In all those voicemails, yes.
-是的 -嗯 他让我问问他
- Yes. - Yeah. He asked me to ask him
-他愿不愿意来演斯克鲁奇 -然后
- if he'd be up for playing Scrooge. - And?
然后他答应了
And he said yes.
当然 因为摄像头故障
Sure. I mean, the camera issue
和网络卡顿 拍摄只进行到这里
and the bad Wi-Fi, that was the final...
但他们还是不开心了好一阵子
'But they had not been happy for a while.
-抱歉 -没事的 先停吧
- Sorry. - It's all right. Let's cut there.
今天很累 这幕戏也很复杂
It had been a long day and a big scene,
很难拍 而新加入的演员总是会拖慢进度