富家穷路（2015）

Schitt's Creek S01E08

Part 1 March 28, 2021, 2:16 p.m.

Friday:《鲁滨孙漂流记》中的主角的仆人
cut the gravy : 多伦多市长福特发起的一项活动
妈妈能过来一下吗
Mom, can you come here, please?
怎么了
What?!
- 我说请过来一下 - 为什么你不过来
- I said, come here, please! - You come here!
这有个寄给我们的大盒子
We got a big box sent to us!
- 有吗 - 是个包裹
- We did? - It's a package!
- 谁寄来的 - 我不知道
- Who's it from? - I don't know.
哦是寄给我的
Oh! It's for me!
想你了
Thinking of you!
“亲爱的M 希望这个能帮到你
"Dear M., hope this helps,
真希望我能做的更多么么哒 J.S.P.”
I only wish I could do more, xoxo, J.S.P."
贾丝廷·圣·皮埃尔
Justine St. Pierre!
大卫我好朋友之一终于联♥系♥我了
David, one of my dear friends is finally reaching out,
我就知道是贾丝廷寄来的包裹
and you know what, I knew it would be Justine.
虽然她是一个暴躁的酗酒者但我们的关系一直很亲密
She can be an angry drunk, but we were always close.
“恭喜你获得了安好初学者工具包”
"Congratulations on your Allez Vous Starter Kit."
这个冷漠的婊♥子♥
That frigid whore!
安好是什么鬼
What's Allez Vous?
这是个骗局是她那个愚蠢的化妆品公♥司♥
It's a scam, it's her stupid cosmetics company!
这是一个给绝望的家庭主妇和苦苦挣扎的艺人
It's a pyramid scheme for desperate housewives,
准备的传销骗局
and struggling actors!
嗯那么我们从中能获得多少钱呢
Well, how much can we make from this?
大卫这是羞辱我们把它寄回去
David, it's an insult,we're sending it back!
很明显你可以赢得一辆奥迪
Well, apparently you can win an Audi.
什么颜色的
What colour?
香槟色奥迪看看这个
A Champagne Audi, look at that!
说得好像你卖♥♥出一堆破烂玩意儿就能拿到一辆车似的
As if you could ever sell enough of this crap to get a car.
嗯来自蒙特利尔的克里斯蒂·斯塔布和她的团队
Well, Kristi Stubbs and her team out of Montreal
已经卖♥♥出了足够获得车的量所以
have sold enough to get the car, so...
别相信你刚才念的那些话亲爱的
don't believe everything you read, dear, please.
- 烧了它吧 - 除了这个睫毛膏
- Burn it! - Except this mascara.
雷今天不能借我车
So Ray can't lend me his car today,
因为他要开车送他92岁的老母亲出门
because he has to drive his 92-year-old mother somewhere.
一个92岁的女人要出去做什么
Where does a 92-year-old woman need to go?!
不知道哎约翰尼也许去医院
I don't know, John, perhaps the hospital?
哦也许但是我今天
Yeah, well, it's just I needed that car
有场会面需要开车去
to get to my appointment today.
什么会面
What appointment?
嗯你知道的就是
Well, you know, the uh...
那件要做的事我有件事要做
Thing that I had, I had a thing that I...
什么事
What thing?
失业的事情懂了吗
An unemployment thing, okay?
去取失业保险金
To get unemployment insurance,
这场会面定在今天下午
I have the meeting this afternoon,
但我现在不得不去求罗兰
and now I have to grovel to Roland,
让他把卡车借我这样我才能去埃尔姆代尔
to get his truck, in order to get to Elmdale,
拿钱
to get this money...
我认为你很勇敢
Well, I think you're brave,
尽管我不认为我们需要靠着食品救济券为生
and while I didn't see us living off of food stamps,
但是我认为你掌控局面的方式
I think there is something very masculine about the way
非常具有男子汉气概
you're taking control of this situation.
亲爱的我要去跪求一辆卡车
Sweetheart, I'm about to beg for a truck,
以便让我再跪求一笔救助金
in order to beg for money,
我想你应该提高一下你对
I think you've gotta raise that masculinity bar
有男子汉气概的标准
just... just a little.
- 罗兰 - 嘿约翰尼
- Roland! - Hey, Johnny.
- 嗨 - 什么
- Hi! - What?
- 嗨 - 听不到
- Hi! - Can't hear you.
嘿关掉这个马达
Hey, turn the motor off!
我听不到你在说什么马达是开着的
I can't hear you, the motor's on!
关掉这个马达
Turn the motor off!
关掉马达你个愚蠢的二货
Turn the motor off, you dumb son of a...
嗯我能为你做点什么吗你个“愚蠢的二货”
well, what can I do for you, you "dumb son of a... "?
嘿罗兰我需要我需要借你的卡车一用
Hey Roland, I need...I need to borrow your truck,
今天我有个非常重要的约会
I've got a very important appointment today,
确实需要你的卡车
and I sure could use it.
没问题约翰尼我的卡车就是你的卡车这你是知道的
Well of course, Johnny, you know my truck is your truck,
想要随时拿走我没意见没问题
any time you wanna borrow it,it's fine with me, no problem-
嗯真是太感谢了你人真好
well, that's very, very nice, that's so nice.
听着我作为卡车的主人
Listen, as the owner of the truck,
能要求你帮我个忙吗
would you do me one favour, though?
在你还回来的时候能把座位调起来吗
When you return it, can you bring the seats back up,
调回原位我会很感谢的
the way I had 'em, I'd appreciate that.
- 会的 - 嗯你不会的
- I do. - Well, you don't.
但是如果可以的话我会非常感谢的非常感谢
But if could, I'd appreciate it, that'd be great.
嗯我想我会的
Well, I think I do!
- 钥匙在这 - 谢谢
- Here's the keys, - Thank you.
同时在你归还的时候
... and also, when you return it,
不介意的话帮我倒车进去好吗
if you don't mind just backing it in,
因为如果不这样的话我只能扭着
because in the morning,I have to kinda crick...
好的我会倒车进去的我会倒车进去的
Yeah, I'll back it in, I'll back it in!
我脖子就这么扭着如果你可以倒车进去的话那就棒极了
My neck like that, if you could back it in that would be terrific.
当然我会倒进去的
Sure, I'll back it in.
关于雨刮液额
The wiper fluid, um...
我换的比以前勤了
I had to replace sooner than usual,
- 我不是要求 - 我从不碰雨刮液
- Now, I'm not asking... - I don't touch the wiper fluid!
- 那么很明显有人碰了 - 我从没用过它
- Well, okay, somebody did. - I never use it.
嗯那么我猜是你“想象中的朋友”用的雨刮液是吗
Yeah well, I guess your "imaginary friend" uses wiper fluid, right?
我不知道我不是在这要你偿还什么
I don't know! I'm not asking for payback here,
但如果你能做些你认为是公平的事那就太好了
but whatever you think is fair would be terrific.
好了但是我从没用过这个
Okay, I never use it, though.
无线电被调到了4频道但我喜欢把它调到10频道所以
The radio was at a four. I like it at a ten, so...
好吧听着我走行了吧
Okay, you know what, I'm gonna walk!
- 你要去哪儿 - 我走着去罗兰
- Where are you going? - I'm gonna walk, Roland!
- 你走着去是什么意思 - 我不想要你的卡车了
- What do you mean you're walking? - I don't want your truck!
不不卡车就在这儿你在说些什么
No, no, the truck's right there, what are you talking...
我不需要你的卡车了
I don't need your truck!
我今天一整天都不用车
It's gonna be there all day!
我只是想也许你可以时不时的
I'm just asking, maybe you could put a little air
给轮胎充点气
in the tires, from time to time.
你好
Bonjour!
既然你打开了你的安好初学者工具包
Now that you've opened your Allez Vous starter kit,
让我们从一些必要的小提示和小技巧开始吧
let's begin with those essential tips and tricks
这些小窍门能让你年利润高达六十万美元
you'll need to make up to 600,000 dollars a year.
那就是五万一个月
That's 50,000 a month,
七千美元一周
that's 7,000 dollars a week.
不这不是真的她甚至连高中都没读完
No, it isn't! She didn't finish high school.
你肯定听过其他什么快速致富的骗局
Now, you've heard of other get rich quick schemes,
但这并不是一个骗局而是一个系统
but this isn't a scheme, it's a system.
看看她说的这些话简直荒诞
Look at the work she's had done, it's grotesque.
去拿笔和纸来
Go grab a pen and paper,
因为我要跟你们分享
because I'm about to share with you some essential
能最大限度地提高销♥售♥效率的小秘诀啦
tips and tricks to maximize your sales productivity.
如果想美梦成真的话
If this seems like a dream come true,
那就集中注意力好好听我的小窍门
you need to pay attention to my tips and tricks.
但是最好的是这个产品可以自我推销
But the best part is, the products sell themselves!
那么那些小提示和小技巧在哪呢
Okay, where are the tips and tricks?
我们都看了有五分钟了
We've been watching this for five minutes,
她一直绕来绕去说没用的话
she's talking in circles!
因为这就是一个骗局
Because it's a scam!
但是亲爱的如果你父亲愿意
But if your father's willing to go out there
出♥卖♥♥♥他的灵魂的话
and sell his soul, dear,
最起码我们可以试着把这些垃圾卖♥♥出去
the least we can do is try to sell this garbage.
这是什么嗯
What's this? Huh?
哦这是免晒美黑霜
Oh, it's a sunless bronzing.
好让我们开卖♥♥吧能有多难呢
Okay, let's sell it, how hard could it be?
你只需推销你自己就行
You sell you.
你只需要使用安好就可以达到推销的目的了
You sell you using Allez Vous.
好的我们来举办一场午宴
Okay, we're going to have a luncheon.
午宴