皮特的糟糕生活（2010）

Hello, I'm Manfred.
很棒 真的
It was great. Really great.
虽然只是复印工作
I know it was only photocopying
但没你我迈不出这第一步
but I couldn't have taken that first step without you.
谢谢
Thank you.
小意思 没什么
Oh that's all right. It's OK.
你帮我顺了包纸吧
Did you manage to nick that paper for me?
对 藏T恤里了
Way aye, under the tee shirt!
Gary
Gary?!
看起来要出坏事了 Terry
That's not good Terry.
Gary 快从那里走开
Gary, come away from there!
惨了 它一定是发现了什么
No, I think he's found something.
Gary
Gary!
Lassie是英国的明星狗 擅长抓坏人
Pete完蛋了 Gary可崇拜Lassie了
Sadly for Pete, Gary's hero is Lassie.
啊 像是条猫腿
Eurgh! Looks like a cat's leg.
应该是Monty的
I think it's Monty's.
哦 天 一定是
Oh, no. My God, it must
我撞它时掉的 可怜的Monty
have been from when I clipped him. Poor Monty.
但你说是一英里外找到的尸体
But you said you found his body a mile away.
是啊 我说过
Yeah, I did. That's right. Yeah.
如果它少条腿怎么能跑一英里呢
How could he have got a mile away if he was missing a leg?
嗯哼
Well?
我们一定都见过三条腿装着残障车
We've all seen those animals with three legs
走路的动物
and them little trolleys.
他刚断腿怎么
How could he have got a little trolley
就有残障车呢
if he'd just lost his leg?
那你发现他的时候残障车在哪
Where was his trolley when you found him later?
残障车这事我们扯太远了
We're getting too caught up with the trolley idea.
我刚才只是说有这个可能
I was just suggesting what might have happened.
那没别的车 对吧
There was no other car, was there?
是你撞的 送回尸体是为了见我姐
You killed him. Brought the body back to see my sister.
打住Tom 你开始胡思乱想了
OK, Tom. You're off into fantasy land now, yeah?
对了Tom 你头上是挑染过吗
Tell me, Tom. Are those highlights?
去发廊做这个可贵可贵了
Because they would cost a fortune in a salon.
恐怕他离彻底恢复还很远
He's still a long way from being right, I'm afraid.
闭嘴 是真的 对吧
Shut up. It's true, isn't it?
你对我撒谎
You lied to me.
我真不敢相信一个两次授勋的准将会做出这样的事
I can't believe a twice decorated brigadier would do that?!
我是为了让你好受点
I only did it to save your feelings.
而且这也确实让你解脱了 对吧
And remember it did give you closure, didn't it?
我想是的
I suppose.
对吧
Yeah.
噢 怎么了 Tom 你在上面干嘛呢 兄弟
Oh, how's it, Tom? What are you doing up there, bru?
哦
Oh!
Tom
Tom!
啥
What?!
看来Tom脆弱的神经最终还是崩溃了
Looks like Tom's fragile mind has finally snapped.
别过来
Stay there!
哦 天
Oh, my word.
Pete你要把他劝下来
Pete, you've got to talk him down.
好吧
Ok.
好啦 Tom 快退回来
Come on now, Tom. Come away from there.
你曾是我偶像 Pete 但你就是个骗子
You were my hero, Pete, but you're just a fraud.
我还掏心掏肺地跟你聊David
And to think I spilled my guts out to you about David.
David是谁
Who's David?
他的山羊
His goat!
你就坐在那里听 其实你一直都知道是你自己杀了Monty
All the time you sat there, knowing you killed Monty.
你这个骗子 懦夫
You're a liar and a coward!
嘿 Tom 我可还是你长官 还记得吗
Easy now, Tom. I'm still your senior officer, remember?
我怎么知道你说的那些是不是真的
How do I know you didn't lie about all that as well?
别犯傻 Tom
Don't be ridiculous, Tom!
Pete你走近点和他说
Pete, go out there and talk to him.
那有点高啊 不是吗
It's a bit high, isn't it?
别闹了 Pete 快去
Don't mess about, Pete. Move!
问题是 我最近刚从门廊上摔下去过
The thing is, I fell off a porch recently,
那之后我就开始恐高了
and I've been funny about heights since then...
你曾经遇到的危险比这个大多了
You've done much more dangerous things than this.
你不是跳上过一辆运行的缆车么
Like the jumping into that moving cable car.
<血染雪山堡> 68年上映英国战争电影
就像是<血染雪山堡>里一样
It sounded like something out of Where Eagles Dare.
是啊
Yeah.
天 其实你根本就没在部队待过 是吧
Oh, my God. You were never in the army, were you?
什么啊
What?!
你怎么能若无其事地对我撒谎
How could you stand there and lie straight to my face?
跟你撒谎一点都不容易
It was really hard.
我要跳了 再见 Mel
I'm going to do it. Goodbye, Mel.
别 Pete 快拦住他
No! Pete, do something!
就这样 该出手时就出手
It is it. Cometh the hour, cometh the man.
我真的不行 对不起
I really don't want to, I'm sorry.
可惜
Pitiful.
我来
I'll do it.
Jake Oakman
Jake Oakman!
Tom 我叫Jake 出什么事
Tom, my name's Jake. What's this all about?
他在前线有一些不堪回首的回忆
He's had some really bad war experiences
他吃了部队的吉祥物 就是一只山羊
and he ate the regimental mascot which was a goat.
没人想听你说
No one wants to hear from you.
好
Righto.
Tom
Tom.
我杀了一只企鹅吃了
I killed and ate a penguin.
啊
What?
对 没错 所以我知道你经历了什么
Yeah, that's right. So I know what you're going through.
我以为只有我一个人
I felt I was the only one.
你不是一个人
Well you're not, sir.
有成百上千的人和你一样
There are hundreds of us out there.
我也是 我杀了你的猫
Like me. I killed your cat!
这些人是为了生存才那么做
These men did what they did to survive.
我就不是为了生存
Well, that's just it. I didn't.
我回到兵营 我发现
When I got back to the barracks, I found...
我背包里有两罐腌牛肉
two tins of corned beef in my backpack.
靠 真是他妈的
Oh. Shit. Fucking hell.
别再去想这些 都过去了
Put that out of your mind. That's in the past now.
真可怕
That's awful.
你不能一直拿这事折磨自己
You've got to stop beating yourself up about it!
David的死是我的错
David died because of my mistake.
对
Yeah!
我要跳下去
I'm going to jump.
不
No!
啊 啊
Ah! Ah!
好了 把他放倒
That's it. Lay him on the ground.
好了好了 让他躺下
That's it. Get him on the ground.
没事了 Tom
It's OK, Tom.
你救了我弟弟 还拖着条伤腿
You saved my brother's life. And with a broken leg!
干得好 Jake
Well done, Jake.
要不是我从那个阳台摔下去 我就
If only I hadn't fallen off that bloody porch!
我要是个男人早揍你了
You know, if I was a man I'd knock your block off!
你冲我发火干嘛
Why are you having a go at me?
他有腌牛肉可还是吃了David
He ate David when he had two good tins of corned beef.
够了 Pete
That is enough, Pete.
我还不懂了 你肠子里还装着那只企鹅呢
I don't know why you're so
你又在那洋洋自得些什么
smug with that penguin still in your duodenum.
Gary终于表达了他的看法
Gary finally articulating his views as best he can.
他尿在我包上了
He's pissed on my bag!
你的狗把我的包给尿了
Your dog's pissed on my bag!
希望那包偷来的纸还能打得上字
Hopefully the stolen paper will go through the printer.
好了 他试图在自己身上找英雄气概
That's it. He searched for the hero inside himself.
但最后却只找到了一泡狗尿
But all he found was a rucksack full of dog wee.
谢谢 Terry
Thank you, Terry.
下一♥期♥ Pete的糟糕生活 再会
Join us again soon when once again Pete takes on life.