皮特的糟糕生活（2010）

Rob和我讨论了一下
Rob and I have been talking,
我们想 现在你有工作了
and we think, now that you're working,
是时候该给你上养老保险了
it's high time you got a pension.
啥 啥
Eh, what, what?
有那样的产品
There are products out...
Pete的老朋友确实很聒噪
Well, Pete's mellow being well and truly harshed.
是的 Colin
Oh, that's right, Colin.
我们来看一下这张描述了Pete嗑药之后一般会做什么的饼图
If we take a look at this pie chart illustrating what Pete normally likes to do on drugs.
通常的可能性是 躺在草地上 和宠物说话
Usual suspects all there. Lying in a meadow, talking to pets.
但是讨论他的养老保险 并不在图上
But discussing his pension... noticeable by its absence.
烈焰红唇乐队会想出什么呢
What would the Flaming Lips have come up with
如果当他们在写<良美大战粉红机器人>时和Anne谈话的话
if they'd had Anna to talk to when they were writing Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots?
想都不敢想 Colin
Doesn't bear thinking about, Colin.
确实不敢想
No, indeed.
而且这是一种十分省税的储蓄方式 对吧 Rob
And it's an incredibly tax-efficient way to save, isn't it, Rob?
是的 是的 - 听到了吧
Yeah, yeah. - See.
Anna 如果你不介意的话 我现在正嗨着呢
Anna, if you don't mind, I'm actually on drugs.
当然
Of course.
你还有更多的药吗 有吗 老兄
You haven't got any more, have you, mate?
Rob - 来了
Rob! - Coming!
五分钟后 看看现在的Pete
Five minutes later and look at Pete now.
不太懂他的舞步
Don't know about his dancing, though.
他像一只被残忍♥的吉普赛人一次又一次的嘲讽弄疯了的熊
He looks like an insane bear that's been, I dunno, taunted once too often by a cruel gypsy.
说的真对 Colin 非常对
Spot on, Colin. Spot on.
早上好
Morning.
我本来不想吵醒你的
I was trying not to wake you.
你穿成这样干嘛
Why are you dressed like that?
我今天早上要去骑马
I'm going riding this morning.
你今天早上不是要去跟大威打网球吗
Aren't you supposed to be playing Venus Williams this morning?
天哪 是的 我忘了 肯定是因为嗨了药
Oh God, yes. Must be all that E.
你确定你能行吗
Are you going to be all right to play?
你还喝了8杯伏特加兑红牛
I mean you had, like, eight Vodka Red Bulls as well.
没事 我一定要赢
That's nothing. I'm going to win.
就今天没得选了 我走了
There is no plan B. Better dash.
好吧
Righto.
Pete看上去心事重重
'Well, Pete right to look pensive,
离文章出版的时间越来越近了
'the date that article comes out is getting closer by the day.'
网球拍忘拿了
Forgot my rackets.
什么 你什么意思
What do you mean, you
为什么不想发表这篇 它棒呆了好嘛
want to pull the article? It's fucking gold.
她是我女朋友
She's my girlfriend.
我知道 但这是工作 我们都得背叛一个人
I know. It's the job. We all have to betray someone.
伙伴 或者女朋友 就我来说 是我的小女儿
A mate, a girlfriend, or in my case, my little daughter.
好吧
Well...
我其实还没有签合约 所以 实际上
I haven't actually signed my contract yet, so, technically,
你还不能发表这篇
you can't publish it.
你说什么 你现在就给我签了它
You what? You sign that right fucking now.
我不想签
I really don't want to.
你♥他♥妈♥说什么
You fucking what?
你一个无业游民带着你的小翘臀跑来跟我讲
You come in here with your tight little bum telling me
我该怎么干活 我要杀了你 我要灭了你全家
how to do my job. I'll kill you, I'll kill your whole family.
经历了刚刚那些之后
'Now, who wouldn't need to
是谁都需要舒缓一下吧
relieve themselves after a tirade like that?'
Pete
Pete.
噢哦
'Uh-oh.'
你刚刚没听见抽泣的声音吧
You didn't hear any... sobbing just now, did you?
没有
No.
很好 因为我没哭
Good. Because I wasn't crying.
好吧
Ok.
听着 我刚刚冷静了下来想公平地处理这件事
Listen, I've calmed down a bit and fair play about that article.
说实话 我不会发表这篇文章 编辑并不喜欢它
Tell you the trurh. I wasn't going to pull it anyway. Editor didn't like.
噢 太好了 不过为什么 为什么编辑不喜欢
Oh, brilliant. Why Why didn't he like it?
嘿 你星期六晚上有安排吗
Hey. What are you up to Saturday night?
没
Nothing.
我有一个大型体育慈善活动的票子
I've got tickets for this big sports benefit.
很多名人会来 也可以结识很多人 你来吗
Will be a lot of big names, good people to know, Fancy it?
当然
Yeah.
好的 我手上有6张票 所以可以给你5张
Well, I've got six tickets, so you can have the other five.
你不用带什么人去吗
Don't you... want to bring anyone?
还没想到
Haven't got anyone.
我的朋友都不长久
My relationships never seem to last.
如今我又对我的Charlie做了什么 我♥操♥
Now what have I done with my fucking Charlie? Fuck!
噢 辣眼睛
Oh, bloody hell!
噢 早 Pete
Oh, morning, Pete.
难怪你升职了
No wonder you got that promotion.
他的升职跟我们之间的关系无关
What we have has got nothing to do with that.
Manfred是因为业绩突出才晋升的
Manfred got that promotion on merit alone.
也正是因为他的能干让我有了性致
And the fact that he's good at his job turns me on.
你们这样比鸡肉加工厂还恶心
This is even more disgusting than the chicken factory.
鸡肉加工厂是生产鸡肉的 Pete
A chicken factory would make chickens, Peter.
我们现在是在消化
We're destroying them.
什么
What?
拜托 Pete 别这样
Come on, Pete, don't be like that.
你怎么回事 我以为你已经想通了
What about you, I thought you had an epiphany?
我有 我偷运了几十只小鸡出去
I have. I'm getting dozens out.
但后来有一天在小厨房♥她捏了我的屁♥股♥蛋
But then she grabbed my buttocks in the staff kitchenette.
哦 太美妙了 她的手是多么奇妙
Whew, she's amazing, man. The things she can do with her hands.
一定是这些年掐鸡练出来的 哈
Must be all those years strangling chickens, eh?
喝茶吗 Peter
Tea, Peter?
不了 谢谢
No, thank you.
噢 爸
Oh, Alright, Dad.
你总是不还电钻 你已经借了半年了
You never returned my drill. You've had it six months.
你的搁板组装好了吗
Did you put those shelves up?
我正准备这周末做呢
I was going to do it this weekend.
你好 Frank
Hello, Frank.
你该不会
You haven't?
什么
What?
没有
No!
Rebecca 你在这里干嘛
Rebecca, what's going on?
怎么 嫉妒了
Why. Jealous?
噢 Frank你好吗 Rebecca 这是Frank
Oh, how's it, Frank? Rebecca, this is Frank.
我知道 我们认识很久了
Yes, I know, we go way back.
我们昨天晚上做了整整三次
We made love three times last night.
你能想到的我们都做了
We did everything. Nothing was taboo.
伯纳德·马修斯 英国养鸡业巨头
她把我打扮成伯纳德•马修斯
She made me dress up as Bernard Matthews.
嗯 你不需要解释什么
Well, you didn't need to be asked twice.
留一点悬念
Something to think about
如果你在猜想昨晚可能发生了什么
when you're wondering what might've been.
你听着 Rebecca 我爱Noreen
Now listen here, Rebecca. I love Noreen.
你到底什么时候才能明白 我对你没兴趣
When are you going to understand? I am not interested in you.
从来没有过 以后也不可能会有
I never have been and I never will be!
嗯 爸爸 这有点
Well, Dad, that was...
我去把你的电锯拿给你
I'll go and get your drill.
现在回到Jed的慈善晚会现场
So the night of Jed's
我们可以看到Pete带了Lottie
sports benefit and I see Pete's bought Lottie,
有一点没想到的是
but a bit of a surprise that
另外两张票他给了父母
two of the tickets also went to his mom and dad.
蛮成熟的做法 你觉得吗 Terry
Now, that's quite mature, isn't it, Terry?
我不觉得 他是想借此打他爸的脸
Not really, he's using it as an opportunity to rub his dad's nose
显示他现在很成功
in it and to show how well he's doing.
这也正是现在这些慈善晚会的目的
That's what these charity events are for.
我被大威剃了光头一分都没拿到
I didn't take a single point off Williams.
简直是女子比赛史上
It was the shortest match
最短的一场比赛
in the history of women's tennis.
但这也算是个非常有进步空间的基础
But it's a good base to build from.
是的 这就是个起步而已 对不
Well, it's a launching pad, isn't it?
看 他们来了
Look, there they are.
噢 Pete 哦 终于见到了
Ah, Pete. Oh, at last.
爸妈 这是我女朋友Lottie
Mum and Dad, this is my Lottie.
你好 我是Frank 这是我老婆Rebecca