皮特的糟糕生活（2010）

欢迎来到演播室 您正在收看的是
Welcome, and you join us
咱们年轻而又社交无能的体育记者
with our socially inept, young sports writer
正在打扫厨房♥卫生 真是稀奇啊 Terry
cleaning up the kitchen. Quite a rare occurrence, Terry.
究竟发生了什么事
What on Earth's going on?
他的前女朋友Chloe要来
Well, he's got his ex-girlfriend Chloe coming up.
他们复合了
He's back with her again.
一直以来进展缓慢 不过我觉得今晚好事将近 Collin
They've been taking things slow, but I think tonight's the night, Collin.
他一定非常上心 因为他不惜颠覆三观勉为其难
He must be keen, because against every instinct and every sinew of his body,
出去买♥♥了一支香精蜡烛回来
he's gone out and bought a scented candle!
我的个亲亲
Dear...
喂 别取下来啊
Hey, don't take that down!
Simply Red 纯红乐队 英国老牌灵歌♥风格流行乐队
抱歉 伙计 但我才不想让人家女孩子以为我喜欢纯红
Sorry, mate, but I'm not having a girl come over and think I like Simply Red.
纯红哪儿不好了
There is nothing wrong with Simply Red.
在津巴布韦 他们是我唯一的精神支柱
Back in Zimbabwe, they were the only thing that kept me shine
米克·哈克纳 纯红乐队主唱
感觉米克·哈克纳是唯一懂我们的人
It was like Mick Hucknall was the only one who understood us, you know?
况且其它音乐都被禁了
Plus all other music was banned.
但你现在在英国了 这儿所有人都觉得他是垃圾
Well, you're in Britain now and everyone in Britain thinks he's shit.
抱歉 但是我想不出好听点的词了
I'm sorry mate, but there's no nice way of saying it.
好啊 爸
All right, Dad?
你好 Peter 我能进来吗
Hello, Peter. May I come in?
好啊 进来吧
Yeah, all right.
Frank 最近怎样啊 老哥
Frank! How's it, bru?
妈没跟你一起来啊 - 没 我和你妈
Is mom not with you? - No. Your mother and I are
要分开一段时间了
having a bit of a break from each other.
什么 - 对
What?! - Yeah.
你什么意思啊
What do you mean?
我觉得你做出了正确的决定 Frank
Well, I think you're doing the right thing, Frank.
和我在津巴布韦的叔叔婶婶一样
It's like my uncle and auntie back in Zimbabwe.
事情不尽如人意 他便离开了一段时间
Things weren't right, so he took some time out
然后带着满身正能量重回这段婚姻
and came back to the relationship with his batteries fully charged.
不幸的是
Unfortunately though,
他发现我婶婶和两个农场工搞3p
he found my auntie having a three-way with two of the farmhands
于是就自杀了
and killed himself.
Manfred 能回避一下吗
Manfred, would you mind?
我能不能在你这住一阵子
So is it all right if I stay here for a bit?
如果可以的话
If that's alright.
你难道不是更喜欢住酒店吗
Wouldn't you be happier in a hotel,
兰尼·亨利 英国喜剧演员
便宜点的 像兰尼亨利代言的那种
that sort of cheap ones, like the ones Lenny Henry advertises?
提前几个月网上预订才有那种价钱
Those sort of prices are only available online months in advance.
好吧好吧 - 多谢
Alright, alright. - Thanks.
那行李箱看着挺重 要待上一阵子了
Now that suitcase looks heavy. He could be here for a while.
没错 Frank把他玩弄于鼓掌 姜还是老的辣
Yeah, Frank's outmanoeuvred him there. Extra experience.
喝茶不
Do you want tea?
要 谢谢
Yes, please.
出了什么事儿
So what happened?
没大事儿 - 才怪
It doesn't matter. - Of course it does!
我不想对你妈妄加评论
I don't want to be rude about your mother,
这么说吧 她比我想的要虚伪得多
but let just say she's a lot more deceitful than I thought
我觉得我无法再信任她了
and I don't feel I can trust her any more.
什么事嘛
What? $*@#$%*#...
Peter 如果你不介意 我感到非常难过羞愧
Peter, if you don't mind, I'm feeling hurt and humiliated
我真的不想谈论这件事了
And I really don't want to talk about it.
天哪
God!
啊 这牛奶馊了
Ah, This milk's off!
不用管它
Don't worry about that.
不 我应该 我去处理下牛奶的问题 好吧
No, I should... I'm going to sort this milk out, all right?
嗨 Chloe 我是Pete 听着 我非常非常抱歉
Hi, Chloe, it's Pete. Listen. I'm really, really, really sorry
今晚不行 因为我爸突然来了
but I can't do tonight cos my dad's just turned up!
这消息对于这少年来说太难说出口了
That is a terrible message for a young man to have to leave.
尤其在他的睾丸酮水平大涨的时候
Especially one with his testosterone levels.
你好 我今早买♥♥的这瓶牛奶似乎馊掉了
Hello. I bought this milk this morning and it seems to be off.
不可能是我卖♥♥的
Can't be mine.
是的 我两小时前才买♥♥的
It is. I bought it literally two hours ago.
我看看
Give it here.
老兄 这没馊啊 你看
No, mate, it's not off. Look.
看销♥售♥日期没意义 你自己闻闻 快闻
Doesn't matter what the sell by date is, give it a little smell. Just give it a little smell.
闻着没问题啊 你觉得呢 Andy
Smells all right to me. What do you think, Andy?
你这瓶好着呢
It's a fine pint of milk you got.
完全没问题
There's nothing wrong with that.
听着 它馊了 而且难怪它会馊
Look, it's off and it's no wonder it's off.
瞧 你所有的牛奶都堆在架子上
Look, you've got all you mild stacked up against there.
你怎么不把冰箱里的可乐拿出来 好给牛奶腾出点位置
Why don't you take some Cokes out your fridge to make room for your milk?
把可乐拿出来 别闹了
Take my cans of Coke out?! Get out of here!
这太扯了 花了我一镑四就够糟糕的了
Look, this is nuts! It's bad enough I've got to pay 1.40 for it!
花钱买♥♥方便嘛 是不是
Well that's convenient, isn't it?
咱这可是友好的当地商店
I mean, this is a friendly local shop.
呵呵 真是愉快的购物经历啊
Oh yeah, no, it is a lovely shopping experience
两个摄像头外加一个爱尔兰醉鬼的"好意"
Two CCTV cameras and a drunk Irish bloke's "nice".
啊哈哈哈 你是个大家伙
Ah ha. Eh… You're a grand lad.
我需要摄像头 总有人想要行刺我
I need the cameras. People keep trying to stab me.
如果你的牛奶不是馊的
Maybe people would stop trying to stab you
人们也许就不会来行刺你了
if your milk wasn't off.
给我换一瓶新的 谢谢
Look, I'll just have a new milk, please.
自己拿吧 一镑四一瓶
Help yourself. 1.40.
你逗我呢
You're joking, yeah?
没
No.
好吧 既然如此 我不会再光顾了 - 喂
All right, that's it. I'm withdrawing my custom. - Hey
你没听错
Yeah, you've heard.
从现在起 我要在别家买♥♥这些贵得要死的杂货了
From now on, I'll be buying my overpriced bits and bobs elsewhere.
我谢谢你全家啊
Thank you very much.
你拿着你的馊牛奶爆菊玩去吧
So you can take your off milk and stick it up your arse!
喂 说话注意点
Hey, steady on!
Pete无法忍♥受和他爸独处一室
Well, Pete couldn't face a night in with his dad,
哪怕电视上在播英格兰友谊赛也不行
even though there's an England friendly on.
于是他点了几杯廉价玛格丽塔酒 来活跃一下气氛
So, he's ordered some cheap margaritas to inject a sense of fun.
我不懂你们三个年轻人和我一个老头子混在一起干什么
I don't know why you three young fellas are hanging around with an old man like me.
看来气氛没活跃起来 Collin
Hasn't seemed to work though, Colin.
这家酒吧里全是上等货啊
This bar is full of top-class birds.
你们还用"货"这个词吗 - 爸比
You still say "birds"? - Dada!
我倾向于说"女人" 更尊重些
I prefer to say "women". It's more respectful.
或者"逼"
Or "punani".
我在你这岁数时 成天磕嗑药 没个正经
When I was your age, I was up there having a crack, giving it all that.
当你到了我这年纪 回首过去
When you get to my age and look back,
你只会因为那些你没做的事而后悔
the only things you regret are the things you never did.
你对你儿子大可放心
Well, you don't need to worry about you son.
他一直在做他后悔的事
He's always doing things he regrets.
我才不后悔 - 你该后悔的
No, I'm not. - Well, you should.
你搞过的最紧致的逼是哪一个
So, what's the classiest punani you've ever pulled?
这么说来的话应该是
Well, that would have to be...
Noreen
Noreen.
呵呵 干的好啊 会不会聊天啊你
Oh, well done mate. Nice one, mate.
Noreen啊 我们到底怎么了
Noreen, what happened to us?
跟你讲 我那天看了一个视频集锦
I tell you what I saw the other day,
那些在铁道口上差点被火车撞死的人
it was loads of clips of people on level crossings just being missed by trains.
超搞笑 笑死我了
Very funny. Hilarious.
正是如此 我现在就像被火车撞了一样
Yeah, it's exactly what I feel like, like I've been hit by a train.
不不 我说的是差点被火车撞到 不一样
No, no. My thing is people getting missed by trains - it's different.
是啊 婚姻就像开火车
Yeah, marriage is a lot like a train.
只是火车遇到问题没有提前警告罢了
But there was no advance warning when my train hit trouble.
有人把一个铁道砌块扔下了桥
Somebody just dropped a breeze block off a bridge
杀死了火车司机
and killed the driver!
抱歉
Sorry...
没事的 没事的
It's all right. It's OK.
重要电♥话♥ 我得接一下
This is really important. I gotta take this.
你好
Hello?
嗨Pete 我爸妈参加派对去了
Hi Pete. My parents have gone to a party
今晚他们要在那边过夜不回家了
and they're not supposed to be coming home and staying tonight.
你能过来吗
Can you come over?
能啊 一定能 没问题