皮特的糟糕生活（2010）

Didn't we say? 1,000 for Glynn's safe return?
这...
Erm...
快拿着
Take it.
现在正是对Pete来说自我定义的时刻
'This is now a character-defining moment for Pete.'
那 好的 我觉得拿了钱也不会...
Oh well, I suppose it wouldn't do any...
等等
Wait a minute.
这不是Glynn 这不是我的狗
This isn't Glynn. This isn't my dog!
我这不是一直在跟您说这不是Glynn嘛
Well, that's exactly what I've been trying to tell you!
Glynn在哪
Where's Glynn?
你对Glynn做了什么
What have you done with Glynn?
我什么都没做 Glynn死了
I haven't got Glynn, Glynn died!
你这冒名顶替的狗
Impostor.
Larry 走吧
Come on, Larry.
Peter Griffiths
Peter Griffiths?
是我 那不是我的热水器吗
Yeah. Is that my boiler?
他认为是我偷的还准备卖♥♥掉 但我并没有啊
He thinks I nicked it and was trying to sell it, but I wasn't,
我这不是还回来了吗 Pete
I was bringing it back to you, wasn't I, Pete?
行了 行了 这是真的吗
All right, all right, is this true?
Gracja说可以拿的 还记得Gracja吗
Gracja said it was OK. Remember Gracja?
够了
Enough.
这是真的 他说的是事实
No, it's true. He's telling the truth.
你看是吧
There you go.
我了解了 这事就先搁着吧
I see. Well, I'll leave the matter there, then.
呼叫 5A
Five-alpha.
你偷我的热水机干嘛
What you nick my boiler for?
想爽一把时的感觉你懂的 啥都可能偷
You know what it's like when you need a hit, you'd nick anything!
好吧 不过如果你缺钱花
Yeah, but, if you need money
你又很会拆装管道
and you're already good at plumbing,
为什么不干脆干点修理管道的工作呢
why don't you just do some plumbing?
已经干过很多了 客户太唠叨
I've had a bellyful of it.
"热水机突然停了" "假日模式下不出水"
"The boiler's cutting out." "The water's not on in holiday mode."
诸如此类我已经受够了 我可是艺术家
I'm sick of 'em all, I'm an artist,
等我制♥作♥的大金蚁出♥售♥的时候
and when one of my giant metal ants sells,
一只就能卖♥♥60到70英镑
I can make 60-70 quid apiece.
这点钱修一个小时的水管就保证能赚到
Surely you can get that an hour, if you just do some plumbing.
你根本就不懂 是不是
Oh, you just don't get it, do you?
你是遛狗人么
Are you the dog walker?
不是 怎么
No, what?
我们接到举报说
We had a report
一个叫Pete Griffiths的遛狗人绑♥架♥了一只金毛犬
of a dog walker named Pete Griffiths kidnapping a golden retriever.
不可能 实际上我对狗是严重过敏的 因此
No, cos I'm actually severely allergic to dogs so...
走开
Get off.
停
Stop it.
Dobbs女士
Mrs Dobbs.
Glynn 你找到我的Glynn
Glynn, you found Glynn!
不 不是 Dobbs女士 这不是Glynn 这是Larry
No, no Mrs Dobbs, this isn't Glynn, this is Larry,
我给你买♥♥的代替Glynn的狗 你记得么
the replacement dog I bought you, remember?
这个坏家伙对你做了什么
What's this naughty man been doing to you?
你能确认这是你的狗么
Can you confirm this is your dog?
是的
Oh, yes.
不用问她 她脑子有问题 她把一切东西都称为Glynn
Don't ask her. She's mad. she calls everything Glynn.
这个坏蛋是不是绑♥架♥了你 是么 Glynn
He's naughty kidnapping you, wasn't he, Glynn?
我没有 你的狗已经被压扁了
I didn't... Your dog got splattered!
如果你想要它的尸体 在环城北路那儿还有一堆皮毛
If you want the body, it's a patch of fur on the North Circular.
哦 把狗给你 留着吧
Oh, have him, bloody have him.
你最好跟我一起走
You better come with me.
在所有我能想到的
'Of all the things I
可能导致Pete获得一项犯罪记录的清单里
thought Pete might get a criminal record for,
"绑♥架♥了一条狗"才排在第16位
'kidnapping a dog, only 16th on the list.
就是这儿 在纵火罪和谋杀罪之间
'There it is, sandwiched between arson and murder.'
等一分钟
Hang on a minute.
这不是我的狗 这不是Glynn
This isn't my dog, this isn't Glynn.
看到了吧 我告诉你她的狗已经死了
See? I told you her dog was dead.
事故的发生应该只是在一瞬间
It would have been really quick,
Glynn应该不会有任何痛苦的 可能也不是这样
Glynn wouldn't have felt a thing. Probably not.
是啊 没有痛苦的
It's all right, it's better I know.
好吧
Yeah.
你肯定认为我是一个愚蠢的 年迈衰老的老太太
You must think me a silly, senile old woman.
嗯
Yeah.
在我的年纪 我知道的自己时日不多了
At my age, I don't suppose it'll be long before...
很快我就可以去陪Glynn了
I shall be with Glynn anyway.
对不起 哪个Glynn
Sorry, which...?
不过已经没关系了 他们都死了
I suppose it doesn't matter, they're both dead.
我提醒你
Mind you, you've still got
你可爱的小金鱼还陪着你 不是吗
your lovely little goldfish, haven't you?
不 Glynn死掉了
No, Glynn passed on.
猫把金鱼吃了
The cat got him.
噢 不
Oh, no!
我真的为你感到遗憾
I'm really sorry to hear that.
我以为那只猫的名字叫
I suppose the cat's called...
Keith
Keith.
Keith
Keith.
哦 那条狗就是Glynn 我敢用我的职业生涯担♥保♥
'Oh, my word, that's Glynn the dog, I'd stake my career on it.'
哦 Terry 这就是我们希望看到的圆♥满♥结局
'Oh, Terry, it's the happy ending we were all hoping for.'
Glynn 这次真的是你
Glynn! It's really you this time.
哦 等等 这就是Glynn 是不是
Oh, hang on, this is Glynn, isn't it?
好吧 那是Larry
Well, that's Larry.
Glynn的颈圈上写着"Glynn"
Glynn's collar says Glynn!
哦 啊
Oh! Ah!
是的 哦 Glynn Glynn
Yes! Oh, Glynn, Glynn!
哎唷 坏狗 你有毛病啊
OW! Bloody dog, what's your problem?
我是说 哦 很高兴你能回来 嘿 Glynn
I mean, oh, it's really nice to have you back. Hi, Glynn.
是的
It is.
是的 Glynn有权生Pete的气
Yeah, Glynn within his rights to be angry with Pete,
这个来自Watford的小伙在公园看狗的能力太差
poor supervision skills from the Watford lad in the park.
是啊 如果我们仔细看看回放
That's right, and if we take a look at the footage,
可以看到 Pete以为那是一堆狗的皮毛
we can see that what Pete thought was a patch of fur,
实际上是一包摊开的水泥
was actually a flattened-out bag of cement.
从一开始就错了
Page one mistake.
同意
Aye.
那么 你还需要有人给你遛狗么
So will you be needing anyone to walk Glynn?
不需要么
No?
是的 你太棒了 不是么 Larry 是的
Yes, you're great, aren't you, Larry? Yes, you are.
我们在津巴布韦的时候也有一条狗
We had a dog just like him back in Zimbabwe
很像你 它就像你一样可爱 对不对 对吧哦
and he was just as cute as you are, wasn't he? Yes.
不过他杀死了一只斑马 因此我们淹死了它
But he killed a zebra, so we drowned him.
哦 不要和它产生太多感情
Well, don't get too attached,
过段时间我会把它放在eBay上卖♥♥了
I'm going to stick him on eBay later.
嘿 Gracja 嘿
Hello, Gracja. Hey.
我需要你的肉体 Pete
'I want your body, Pete.'
耶 好啊
Yeah, OK.
谢谢 Pete 你救了我的命
Thank you, Pete, you save my life.
不客气 我一直幻想成为一个模特
That's all right, I always quite fancied being a model.
Gracja的一个学生模特临时退出了
One of Gracja's student models had to drop out at short notice,
因为有人花50英镑的现金雇他剪草
after being offered 50 quid cash to cut a hedge.
好吧 趁现在多挣钱是明智的 毕竟他学的是戏剧专业
Well, it's wise to make money now, cos his degree's in drama!
还有 表演结束后 我们最后一次大干一场
And after show, I screw brains for only time.
好啊 你说最后是啥意思
Yes, what d'you mean only time?
我毕业了 准备回家 明早的飞机
I graduate, I go home, I fly in morning.
你要离开么 为什么
You're leaving, why?
因为你的经济状况堪忧啊
Your economy is fooked.
哦 经济状况会再次好转的 每次都会
Oh, the economy will pick up again, it always does.
不 不过今天晚上这次 将会是这辈子最棒的体验
No. But this one time tonight, will be best screw of life.
哦 好吧
Oh, OK.
请热烈欢迎 Gracja Dubrovski的精品时装秀
'And now, please welcome, the collection of Gracja Dubrovski.'
到你上了
You on.
好
Ok.
他穿着Cavendish格子呢向我们走来
'Well, here he comes wearing a kilt in Cavendish tartan
如果有人没看清 我告诉你T恤上写着
'and for anyone who missed it, that shirt says,
"神父大口啃丁丁"
"Priest munch penis big time."
这可不适合在洗礼的时候穿 Colin