皮特的糟糕生活（2010）

Hello, I'm Frank. This is my wife Rebecca...
我的意思是Noreen
I mean Noreen.
这里真不错
Well, isn't this lovely?
我以前都没过喝过正宗的香槟
I've never had real champagne before.
你有喝过吧 妈妈
Yes, you have, Mum.
没有 他总是买♥♥喀瓦气泡酒
No, he always gets Cava.
实际上应该读成卡瓦
It's pronounced "Ca-Va."
我认为很多
And I think a lot of the
西班牙气泡酒
sparkling Spanish wines are more than a match
比所谓的法国香槟好多了
for your so-called French champagnes.
而且我记得这是毕加索的最爱呢
I believe it was Picasso's favourite tipple.
毕加索是个疯子
Picasso was mad.
他是天才
He was a genius.
你喝了多少了
How many have you had?
噢 我看到我朋友Miriam了
Oh, there's my friend Miriam.
我网球从来没能赢过她一盘
I've never managed to get a set off her.
不过她毕竟拿过奥♥运♥金牌
Though she is an Olympic gold medallist.
我从来不知道我们在奥♥运♥会还拿过网球金牌
I didn't know we'd ever won an Olympic gold in tennis.
我们没拿过 她是冬奥会雪橇冠军
We didn't. She's a tobogganist.
是吗
Is she?
你在这儿 我的签约新星 过得还他妈好吗
There he is, my new star signing. How the fuck are you?
很好
Good.
你一定非要说脏话吗
Is it really necessary to swear?
妈 这是我的新编辑
Mum, my new editor.
并且说脏话没什么大不了的 去死 滚 操蛋
Anyway, there's nothing wrong with swearing. Shit, piss, wank.
Peter
Peter!
对不起
I'm sorry.
这里真不错 兄弟 谢谢你送的票
This is great, man. Thanks for the tickets.
你带她来干嘛
Why did you bring her?
情不自已
I couldn't stop myself,
她的性致牢牢统治着我
she's got this weird sexual power over me.
天哪 你是什么毛病
Oh, what's wrong with you?
你好 Frank
Hello, Frank.
Rebecca
Rebecca.
你是Rebecca
Your name's Rebecca?
是的 你一定是Noreen
Yes. And you must be Noreen.
是的
That's right.
作为不会工作也不懂享受的家庭主妇
The stay at home wife who doesn't work hard or play hard.
汤姆·柯林斯 一种鸡尾酒 由杜松子酒和柠檬汁调制而成
我猜你连汤姆•柯林斯是什么都不知道
I bet you don't even know what a Tom Collins is.
John Thomas 男性生殖器官的别称
嗯 可我知道John Thomas是什么
Well, I know what a John Thomas is
事实上我正看着一个呢
and I'm looking at one right now.
干得好 Noreen 鬼知道她从哪儿学来的这些话
'Well played. Noreen,Who knew she had access to that kind of language?'
Rebecca 我想你应该没见过我的体育编辑Jed
Rebecca, I don't think you've met Jed, my sports editor.
所以你就是那个挖走我员工的人
So you're the man who's been poaching my staff.
你什么
You what?
额 Jed 我听说你是个基佬
Er, Jed, I understand you are a gay man?
你刚才说什么
What did you say?
你知道 就是同性恋
You know, a homosexual.
什么 我 基佬 我不是同性恋
You what? Me? Gay? I'm not gay.
你从哪儿听说的
Where did you get that from?
呃 从
Well...from...
Rebecca 你知道那种机器
Rebecca, you know that machine that
就是拆分鸡肉的机器 他们到底是怎么运作的
separates the chicken, how does that working?
所以 是你一直在谣传 说我是基佬 对吧
I see. So you've been putting it about that I'm gay, have you?
跟你朋友们笑的开心吗
Having a good laugh with your mates?
脑补我的性行为
Drawing pictures of me in the sex act.
什么
What?
编一些关于我的打油诗
Making up limericks about me.
看起来大家聊得很开心
It looks like you're having fun.
Lottie Beaumont 好了 是你来告诉她 还是我来
Lottie Beaumont. Well, are you going to tell her, or shall I?
Lottie 他嗨药了 别信他说的
Lottie, he's on cocaine, don't listen to a word he says.
看来我们都吸了粉啊
We're all on cocaine!
事实是你男朋友专门写了一篇文章来打你脸
The point is your boyfriend wrote an article slagging you off,
这样的话他就不用再在
just so he wouldn't have to work
那个糟糕的小破鸡场工作了
in a grubby, shitty little chicken factory.
哈 我不觉得8000平方的地方算小
Haha.I don't think 8,000 square feet is little.
他在文章中写你这个富家小姐是个笨拙又毫无天赋的网球白♥痴♥
He called you a rich, lumbering, talentless loser.
这一点都不是真的
That is so patently untrue.
我为什么要写那样的文章
Why would I write something like that?
是 我也觉得
Oh, yes, good point.
拿去看吧
Read it.
噢 这都怪现代科技的错 现在一切解释都没用了
'Oh dear, It's all unravelling due to the wonders of modern technology.'
"只希望她把掠夺一盘甜甜圈的野心
"If only she got through her opponents like she gets through
分一点用在攻击对手上面"
a plate of doughnuts."
我就知道你想吃那最后一块甜甜圈 这就是你写的
I knew you wanted that last doughnut. You did write this.
而他撤回这篇文章的唯一可能只是因为他对你动了心
And he only wanted it pulled when he started knocking you off.
胡说八道
That is wrong.
是当我感受到你的真心后开始动摇了
I had serious doubts when I had my hand up your jumper.
是吗 好吧
Yes, well.
我应该谢谢你 其实
I should thank you, really.
因为你让我更加确认终有一天
Because you've made me even more certain that one day
我会赢下温网
I will win Wimbledon.
嗯
Mmm...
Lottie
Lottie!
Jed 最好我们就忘掉之前的不愉快
Jed, it's probably best if we just... draw a line under all this.
不 朋友 你被辞退了
No, mate. You're sacked.
不 什么 你不能辞退我 我甚至都还没开始工作
What? You can't sack me, I haven't even started yet.
这样 那之前你应该签好那份该死的合同的
Well, perhaps you should've signed your fucking contract!
我 基佬
Me. Gay?
Rebecca 淘鸡内脏那活你找到人选了吗
Rebecca, how are you fixed for giblet scoopers,
你知道发网我还留着呢
cos I've still got my hair net?
我不觉得你可以回来 你的那个职位已经被一个年轻小伙替代了
I don't think so. You've been replaced by a younger man.
你也是
And so have you.
真是惨绝人寰的结局啊 Pete
'So a catastrophic ending for Pete.
丢了工作 丢了女朋友 还被妈妈听到骂脏话
'No job, no girl. And his mum knows he swears.'
我真为你感到自豪 Noreen
I was very proud of you there, Noreen.
是吗 等回家我们再说
Yes, well, we'll talk about that when we get home.
噢 看来Frank的日子也不好过
'Oh, looks like Frank's in a spot of bother as well.'
确实
'Yes, indeed.'
结果他是真的有在脑补Jed的性生活
And it turns out he was drawing pictures of Jed in the sex act.
出来了 你看
There you go.
噢 天哪
Oh, dear.
下一♥期♥ Pete的糟糕生活 再会
Well, join us again next time when once again Pete takes on life.
晚安
Good night.