皮特的糟糕生活（2010）

Yes, I can, yeah. That's no problem.
好棒 拜拜 - 好的
Cool! Bye! - All right.
这是考验心机和手腕的时候了
This will require the utmost tact and diplomacy.
没事的 Frank 你看Pete回来了
It's all right, Frank. Look Pete's coming back.
兄弟们 我要撤了
Lads, I've got to shoot off.
什么
What?!
Chloe打来的 说有紧急情况 我必须赶过去
That was Chloe. There's some sort of an emergency. I have to go over.
一定是很"紧"的情况 - 没错
A fanny-related emergency? - Yeah.
你会没事的对吧 爸
You'll be all right, won't you, Dad?
不知道 希望吧
I don't know. I hope so.
明白 你会被照顾好的 同志们回见了
I see. Well, you're in good hands. Ok boys, I'll see you later.
你在开玩笑吧
You've got to be kidding!
并没有
No.
来吧 Frank 哭出来吧
Come on, Frank, let it all out.
别碰我
Just don't touch me!
我要把你操得
I'm going to fuck your brains...
你好啊Jen 不知道你也在
Hello, Jen. I didn't know you were here.
Peter
Peter.
嗨Pete 你没收到我的短♥信♥吗
Oh hi, Pete. Didn't you get my text?
没有啊 - 呃
No. - Oh...
刚刚来了
Oh, there it is!
为了熬过这段尴尬的停顿
So, while we ride out this awkward pause,
我们来看看Chloe的父母吧
let's have a look at Chloe's parents.
首先是Jen
Well, there's Jen, who
她曾约会过罗伯特佩斯顿 BBC商务编辑
once dated Robert Peston, BBC Business Editor.
以及Mike 顾问医师 他希望他女儿
And Mike, a consultant surgeon, who'd prefer his daughter
和一个能游出至少十米远的人约会
to be dating someone who can swim further than ten metres.
我觉得他准备说点什么了
But I think he's about to say something...
你们决定不在派对上待着了
So you decided not to stay at the party there?
结果派对发起人是一个颇具规模的鱼罐头公♥司♥的董事
It turned out our host was the director of a rather large fish canning company.
你应该了解我们的苦衷了吧
So I think you can see our dilemma.
就是 谁愿意在派对上吃鱼罐头嘛
Yeah. Who wants to eat tinned fish at a party?
不 那不是重点
No, that wasn't the problem.
他与全世界鱼类的过度捕捞现象脱不了干系
He is complicit in the unsustainable over-fishing of the world's fish stocks.
那就是你们离开的原因
And that's why you left?
是的
Yes.
换我也会这么做的
I'd have done that, too.
话说 Chloe说你们复合了 那真是
So, Chloe said you're back together. That's very, um...
是啊 那真是太好了不是吗
Yeah! It is, isn't it?
你们怎么旧情复燃的
So how did you two hook up again?
伊娃·卡西迪 美国爵士蓝调歌♥手
我们在伊娃卡西迪致敬音乐会上
Well, we bumped into each other
一不小心就碰见了
at an Eva Cassidy tribute concert.
说”碰见"并不准确 对吧Terry
"Bumped into" Isn't totally accurate, is it, Terry?
对 几个月来他一直在脸书上关注她
No. He's been keeping an eye on her through Facebook for some months,
发现她要去音乐会 才谋划了这场会面
saw she was going to a concert and engineered bumping into her.
是的 不过缺点是 他被迫买♥♥了三套伊娃卡西迪的专辑
Yes. But on the downside, he did have to buy three Eva Cassidy albums.
再加上香精蜡烛 简直就是痛不欲生
And on top of the scented candle, it's like a knife in the guts.
你确定这样可以吗
Are you sure this is all right?
没问题的 我爸妈很通情达理的
Yeah, it's fine. My parents are really cool.
好吧呀
All right then.
也许我们该睡了
Maybe we should just get some sleep.
是是是
Yeah, yeah...
安安 - 安安
Night. - Night.
是的 如果我们来看看墙的厚度
Yes. And if we look at the thickness of that wall...
没错 当你离小姑娘爸爸的头
Yeah. You don't want to be having sex with a lass,
只有5英寸时 你不会想和她上♥床♥的
when you're literally five inches from her dad's head.
是的 并不想 观察很敏锐啊Terry
No, you do not! Well, observed, Terry.
我们来到一小时后 Pete依然辗转反侧
Well, here we are an hour later. Pete struggled to get to sleep,
还好想起来电脑上有球赛的精彩镜头
and luckily remembered the England game highlights would be on the computer.
是的 英格兰队已经
Yeah, England already
5-0 战胜了溃败的保加利亚队
five-nil up against the depleted Bulgarians.
好样的 使劲干♥他♥们
Yes! Get stuck in!
Pete 别看了
Pete, stop it.
快看完了 Chloe 你看 快来看
Not much longer. Oh Chloe, look at that. Look at that.
尝尝这个 吃我一记 射进去了
Oh, have some of that! Eat it! In it goes!
快停下 Pete
Stop it, Pete!
你这狗♥杂♥种♥
You dirty bastard!
够了
I've had enough!
等会 没完
Hang on, hang on.
爽
Yes!
劲射入门
Back of the net!
早安
Morning!
早安
Morning.
早餐想吃什么
What would you like for breakfast?
随便 吃啥我都行 有巧克力多多吗
Ah, anything. Anything at all. I'm easy. Choc Boulders?
没有
I don't think so.
不过最近我们五岁的侄女来家里住过
But we did have our five-year-old niece staying recently.
那你就找一找呗
Well maybe have a look then.
睡得好吗 Mike
Sleep well, Mike?
昨晚我听见了你和Chloe在房♥间里的所有勾当
I heard everything that went on with you and Chloe in her room last night.
你说什么呢 我们啥也没干啊
What are you talking about? We didn't do anything.
别当我傻 我都听见了
Do not treat me like a fool. I heard.
"吃我一鸡 射进去了 劲射入门"
"Eat it. In it goes. Back of the net"?!
我在Chole的笔记本上看球赛呢 我带着耳机呢
I was watching the football match on Chole's laptop. I had earphones on.
得了吧 就算是你这借口也太烂了
Oh come on. Even you can do better than that.
不不不 这是真的
No, no, that, that... It's true!
看 这儿都登了 我们七比零赢了
Look, it's there. Look, we won 7-0.
噢 这样还挺说得通
Oh. That would actually make sense.
不好意思
Sorry.
恐怕我们只有有机燕麦了
I'm afraid all I've got is organic oatmeal.
我会尽量将就着吃的
I'll do my best with it!
没事的 Mike 我们都有犯错的时候 真搞笑
Don't worry, Mike, we all make mistakes. That's so funny.
你♥爸♥以为我逼你来了一场粗暴性♥爱♥
Your dad thought I was forcing you to have rough sex
我绝不会这么干的
which I would never do.
我们约会的时候 是以最平常的方式做♥爱♥的
In fact when we were going out before we had straight vanilla sex.
没什么花样 还是很棒
Nothing fancy. Which was lovely.
好了 我们还是吃早饭吧
Right, shall we just have breakfast?
这看起来
This looks...
嗯 好吃 相当好吃
Mm, lovely. That's really nice.
刚才不好意思啊
Sorry about that.
把情况弄到
Probably made it
比尴尬还尴尬
a little bit more awkward than I needed to.
没关系的 是Mike不好
Don't worry, it was Mike's fault.
好吧
Yeah.
也许你可以再努力一点 试着跟他好好相处
But maybe you could make a bit more of an effort with him.
嗯 对 必须的 行
Mm, no, absolutely. Yeah, I will.
或者我就干脆尽可能地躲着他算了
Or I could just try and avoid him as much as possible.
我知道了 他要组装个架子 需要人帮忙
I know. He's got a shelving unit that he needs a hand putting up.
要不你来帮他
Maybe you could help him with that?
或者 我可以试着不帮倒忙
Yeah. No. Or I could just try really keep out his way
谢谢你 Pete 我会告诉他你愿意帮忙的
Thanks, Pete. I'll tell him you're up for it.
我觉得如果他更了解你的话
You know, if he really got to know you
他也会像我一样爱你的
I'm sure he'd love you as much as I do.
她就这么扔了个炸♥弹♥ L打头的词
Well, she's tossed it in there, the L-word!
"拉拉"吗
"Lesbian"?
是"爱"
"Love"!
这是第一次有姑娘说爱他
That's the first time a girl has ever said she loves him.'
没错 看看他以前的纪录
That's right. If we look at his previous bests,
你看Nicola说过"你酒量不错"
you can see Nicola says "you're good at drinking".
Pete以为是赞美的话
Which Pete took it as a compliment,
但其实那是分手的理由
but it's actually the reason that broke them.
Pete回家的时候 很想庆祝一番
As Pete heads home, he's in the mood for a celebration.
他打算躺在床上
'He's going to lie on his
<霹雳神兵> 1987年美剧 讲述越战
打开电脑 看<霹雳神兵三>
Bed with his computer and crake open Tour Of Duty 3.
有一刻我还在想
'I wondered what you
你打算说什么呢 Col
Were going to say there for a moment, Col!'
老爸
Dad!
Peter
Peter.
喔 Frank 你干了什么啊
Oh Frank, what have you done.
真可惜Pete昨晚没怎么睡觉