完美和声

Perfect Harmony S01E08

Part 2 Nov. 20, 2019, 10:54 a.m.

来了
Here we go.
杰克斯牧师去哪了
Where's Reverend Jax?
今天我就是杰克斯牧师
I am Reverend Jax today.
世俗版的
The secular version.
我想你帮不了我
I don't think you can help me.
牧师能做的我都能做得更好
Anything a pastor can do, I can do better.
我应该唱出来
I should've sung that.
很好给你
Great. Here.
这是个宝宝
That's a baby.
是的我去面试时
Yeah, Reverend Jax babysits him
杰克斯牧师帮我看孩子
when I have a job interview,
他这个包里有奶瓶
so here's his bag with bottles
尿布还有他最爱看的书
and diapers and his favorite book.
这尿布可真多
That's a lot of diapers.
你刚接手时
Yeah. Oh, and he probably just pooped
他可能拉了
right when you took him.
他肯定"不是"十分钟前拉的
He definitely didn't do it ten minutes ago.
天哪
Oh, jeez.
本来是杰克斯牧师来接她
Yeah, Reverend Jax was supposed to pick her up,
但他临时有事就给我打了电♥话♥
but he had an emergency, so he called me.
我是他的首选
I was his first choice.
请出示身份证
ID, please.
我还有张更好的被警♥察♥拿走了
I had a better one, but cop took it away.
你懂的
You know how that is.
你们有没有做多余脚趾的切除手术
Y'all didn't happen to clip off any toes, did you?
不只是个简单的择期手术
No, this was a simple elective procedure.
不过她刚服了足量镇静剂
But she's been heavily sedated,
可能会表现异常
so she may not be her usual self.
开什么玩笑
Seriously?
这狗♥娘♥养♥的
This mother?
不对这是她正常表现
Nope. That's her usual self.
天哪好了
Ah, jeez, okay.
我们理智点吧
Let's be rational about this.
什么嘘你要什么
What--shh. What do you want?
看看我们有什么
What do we got?
《我的第一本圣经》
"My First Bible."
他们这儿开始得可真早
They start 'em young here.
躲猫猫传教了
Peek-a-boo! It's propaganda.
真的假的
Are you kidding me?
杰克斯再得一分
That's another point for Jax.
杰克斯去哪了
Where is Jax?
你是不是杀了杰克斯
Did you kill Jax?
希望没有吧我真的喜欢那小个子
Oh, I hope not. I really like that little dude.
杰克斯让我来的行了吗
Jax sent me, okay?
我现在送你回家吧
Let's get you home now.
不行我自己能行
No, I have got this.
-好吧 -我能行
- All right. - I got it.
给我架直升机离开这里再打包一剂麻♥醉♥药♥
Get me a chopper out of here and one anesthesia to go.
我知道怎么跟醉鬼打交道
I've got some experience wrangling inebriates.
好了我要回车上去了
All right, well, I'm just gonna head back to my van.
车上都是些性感的爷们
You know, the one filled with hot dudes
不怕强势的女人
who aren't afraid of powerful women?
是还没开始害怕
They aren't afraid yet.
摩西的胡子能让你安静不是吗
Yeah, Moses's beard is soothing for you, isn't it?
我这里有真胡子呢
Yeah, I got the real deal right here,
我可不是想象出来的人物
and I'm not an imaginary person.
你好亚瑟哇你有个宝宝
Hey, Arthur. Whoa, you have a baby.
真好玩
That's fun.
你好吉妮
Hi, Ginny.
大礼拜一的你来这里做什么
What are you doing here on a Monday?
有时候我就来这里
Oh, you know, sometimes I just like to come
点根蜡烛为我奶奶祈祷
and light a candle and pray for my grandma.
她还没死就是个坏女人
She's not dead. She's just a really bad person.
杰克斯给你打电♥话♥
So Jax called you
让你来瞧瞧我怎么样了是不是
and told you to check on me, didn't he?
只是因为他不相信你
Only because he has no faith in you,
这有点说明问题
which is saying something
因为他相信每个人
because he has faith in everybody.
我记得这么小的孩子
Oh. I remember this age.
小脚脚
Such little feet.
你想抱他吗
Yeah, you want to hold him?
你知道你现在能做什么吗
Now you know what you can do?
我能把你啃了
I could just eat you up.
为什么不给杰克斯打个电♥话♥
Why don't you give Jax a call?
告诉他你只需要做他的保姆不需要给我当
Tell him this is the only kind of babysitting you need to do.
亚瑟你在这里做什么
Arthur, what are you doing here?
我也想问你们
Well, I could ask you the same thing.
老实说这镇上的人都不上班吗
Seriously, does nobody in this town have a job?
我们每个月都给消防志愿兵做汤
We make soup for the volunteer firefighters every month.
你是来帮忙的吗
Did you come to help out?
不是我替杰克斯看教堂
No, I'm watching the place for Jax.
如果杰克斯不在
If Jax isn't here,
是不是我们就不必照他的配方做了
does that mean we can deviate from his recipe
我们加点肉吧
and maybe add meat?
-不行我们不 -伙计们教会主导
- No, we are not-- - Guys, it's one thing
你们的卧室行为是一回事
to let the church control your bedroom behavior,
可别让他们教你怎么做汤
but don't let them tell you how to make soup.
想怎么做就怎么做
Just do whatever you want.
天啊
Oh, God.
年轻人在这里做什么
What are youths doing here?
我们是青年小组
We're the youth group.
放学后我们每周聚一次
We meet once a week after school.
杰克斯牧师为我们安排一些有趣的活动
Reverend Jax sets up fun activities for us,
比如圣经主题的密室逃脱
like a Bible-themed escape room
我们团队合作还有祈祷
where we use teamwork and prayer
帮助自己逃离密室
to help ourselves get out of the room.
今天是不可能了
That's not gonna happen.
那我们要学习《圣经》吗
Well, should we study scripture?
反正我不学
I wouldn't.
但瞧瞧那里有台电脑
But, hey, look, there's a computer machine.
世界唾手可得
The world is at our fingertips.
你们都对什么感兴趣
What are you guys interested in?
哲学《坎特伯雷故事集》
Philosophy, "Canterbury Tales"...
排名前十的格列高利圣咏
Top 10 Gregorian chants?
我们能搜索"天堂"吗
Could we Google heaven?
当然可以
Of course.
大约等15到20分钟
In about 15 or 20 minutes.
♪恋人们卿卿我我路人们各奔东西♪
♪ Lovers in love and the others run away ♪
♪爱太伤人♪
♪ Love hurts! ♪
♪爱让人伤痕累累♪
♪ Love scars! ♪
好吧我们别听这个了
All right, well, that's not what we're hearing,
我要把音乐关掉
so I'm just gonna turn this off.
我真的
I honestly...
感觉不到药效
cannot feel the drugs.
他们没给我用药吗
Did they not give me drugs?
我要告他们
I will sue them.
这是根什么带子
What is this sash?
给选美佳丽们用的吗
Is it for a pageant?
没错你的天赋是把
Yep, your talent was giving a bloody nose
想给你系安全带的家伙打出鼻血
to a guy who was just trying to help you put on a seatbelt.
不不不
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
我的天分是虽已年近不惑
My talent is producing the most eggs
还能排出最多的卵子[蛋]
for a woman over ha-ha years old.
好吧我们都明白
All right, we get it.
你拥有大家梦寐以求的工业化农场
You own a factory farm, everyone's dream.
不不我去诊所冻卵了
No, no, I went to the clinic to have my eggs frozen.
我是说这太疯狂了
I mean, it's crazy.
我都不知道自己想不想要小孩
I don't even know if I want to have kids.
好打住话题开始变得严肃了
All right, hold on, this is getting serious.
我不喜欢
I don't like this.