完美和声

Perfect Harmony S01E08

Part 1 Nov. 20, 2019, 10:54 a.m.

月虹乳制品店
你要去跟参议员上♥床♥
You're sleeping with a senator?
给某些没人在意的部位做整形手术
Getting plastic surgery someplace weird nobody cares about,
比如你的脚趾
like your toes.
去参加一个高风险的拼字比赛
A high-stakes spelling bee
如果不能赢就会被杀死
where if you don't win, you're killed?
什么情况
What's happening?
亚当斯明天要去某个地方
Adams is going somewhere tomorrow,
但她不肯告诉我们缘由
and she won't tell us why.
如果是什么好事呢
Ooh, what if it's something nice?
我希望是好事
I hope it's something nice.
你们得尊重她的隐私
You need to respect her privacy.
谢谢
Thank you.
我本来是打算这么说的
Is what I was going to say
但我突然有一个很棒的猜测
until I thought of this great guess.
你打算克隆自己然后跟自己结婚
You're cloning yourself so you can marry yourself?
目前亚瑟猜得最接近
Arthur is the closest so far.
什么
What?
太明显了你当然是要做这种事
So obvious. Of course you're doing that.
-我就知道 -我就说吧老兄
- I knew that! - Told you, man.
你介意我在这里洗下衣服吗
Do you mind if I do my laundry here?
亚瑟简直太完美了
Arthur! How perfect.
我需要一个人今天帮我看守教堂
I needed someone to watch the church today.
我向上帝祈祷了下然后你就出现了
I prayed about it, and here you are.
上帝竟然会以非常明显的方式显灵啊
Wow, God really does work in totally obvious ways.
我只需要离开几个小时
So I'll only be gone a couple of hours.
今天是周一
Well, it's Monday.
你何不直接把门锁上
Why don't you just lock the door
在台阶上留下一桶《圣经》就好
and leave a bucket of Bibles on the stoop?
教堂一周七天每天都是我们这个社区的中心
The church is the center of our community seven days a week.
帮助他人永远没有停歇的时候
Helping people never takes a break.
得了吧在我看来
Please, I mean, it seems to me
教会做的恶事似乎要明显多于好事
the church has a history of doing more harm than good.
恶事
Harm?
去年我们的烘焙义卖♥♥
Last year, our bake sale
为龙♥卷♥风♥幸存者筹到90多美元
raised over $90 for tornado survivors.
这难道不是好事
What about that?
那十字军东征呢
What about the Crusades?
好吧善恶1:1
Okay, one to one.
教会亚瑟
好了现在是12:12
Okay, it's 12 to 12.
我把所有女巫审判都算成一个了
I'm counting all witch trials as one.
真令人震惊
What a shock.
教会竟然将女性的悲惨经历最小化
The church minimizing the experience of women.
就凭这个我又领先一分
And I am back up by one.
尽管我很乐意继续听你
As much as I would like to continue listening to you
贬损我终身的工作
belittle my life's work,
我得将一盆砂锅菜送去一个教众家里
I have to leave to drop a casserole by a parishioner's house,
然后去帮一个朋友
and then go help a friend,
-所以... -行行行
- so... - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
我会替你看店的
I'll watch the store for you,
但我不会跟任何人一起祈祷
but I'm not praying with anyone
或给予他们假希望
or selling them false hope
或告诉他们他们悲惨的人生都是上帝的安排
or telling them their crappy lives are part of "God's plan."
大概你就是上帝派来帮我的人吧
Well, I guess you're the one he sent.
哈利路亚
Hallelujah.
除非...
Unless...
乞丐没有挑肥拣瘦的权利
Well, beggers can't be choosers.
至少这个地方自带操作手册
At least this place comes with its own operator's manual.
可别说...
Don't say--
《圣经》
The Bible.
如果你遇到麻烦了随便翻开任何一页
If you're in trouble, just turn to any page,
任何段落你就能找到智慧箴言
any paragraph, and you'll find some words of wisdom.
任何触碰尸体或是精♥液♥的人
He shall also be unclean if he touches a corpse
都将成为不洁之人...
or anyone who has an emission--
就...
Just...
只看《新约》就好
stick to the second half.
11个字母西班牙的
11 letters. Spanish...
宗教裁判
Inquisition.
真不敢相信我刚刚忘了对杰克斯提这个
I can't believe I forgot to bring that up with Jax.
杰克斯牧师
Reverend Jax?
有什么能帮你
How can I help you,
我想不起名字的唱男中音的家伙
Baritone Guy whose name escapes me?
我叫小朱
It's Junior.
抱歉
Sorry.
杰克斯牧师在吗
Is Reverend Jax here?
我有事要请他跟我一起祈祷
I need to pray with him about something.
今天算你走运
Well, today is your lucky day
因为由我来管事我不会只带你祈祷
because I am in charge, and instead of just prayer,
我们要通过理智的谈话
we are actually going to solve
来切实解决你面临的问题
one of your problems by talking it out rationally.
你到底遇到什么问题了
What's your problem?
我最近觉得心情有点低落
I've been feeling a little down.
或许是因为患了「周一恐惧症」
Maybe it's just a case of the Mondays.
那我们来探索一下根源
Well, let's explore that.
你为什么害怕周一
Why do you dread Mondays?
我猜这是你工作周的开始
I'll bet it's the beginning of your work week.
-我说得对吗 -是的
- Am I right? - Yeah.
我看到你穿了矫形鞋
And I can see you're wearing orthopedic shoes,
你的工作可能是要站一整天
so you're probably on your feet all day,
所以等你回到家中时
so by the time you get home,
-你的身体和精神都无比疲倦 -是的
- you're not only mentally, but physically exhausted. - Yeah.
通过你婚戒上的那么多钻石我可以看出
And I can see by all the diamonds on your wedding band
你真的很在意你的婚姻
that you really care about your marriage,
但是等你回到家里时
but again, by the time you get home,
你已经精疲力尽无法呈现自己最好的一面
you're so drained that you can't be your best self,
虽然我从未见过你最好的一面
whom I've never met,
但我想肯定很讨喜
but I'm sure is delightful.
-天呐你真厉害 -当然啦
- Man, you are good. - Yeah.
我觉得你需要换份新工作
I think you need a new job.
谢谢谢谢你
Thank you. Thank you.
我太擅长这事了
I'm great at this.
-喂 -德韦恩啊
- Hello? - Oh, Dwayne.
很高兴我联♥系♥到你了
I'm so glad I reached you.
我本来只需快速把食物送到纳兹丽塔这就走
I was supposed to be quickly dropping off food at Nazarita's,
但她告诉我她现在躺在病床上...
but she informed me she's on her death bed...
又一次
again.
我觉得她只是想找个人陪她看《我们的生活》
I think she just wants someone to watch "This is Us" with,
但我不能冒这个险
but I can't take that chance.
你现在有空吗
Are you free right now?
抱歉杰克斯牧师
Sorry, Reverend Jax.
现在是喂食时间
It's feeding time,
这些小家伙都指望着我呢
and these little guys really do rely on me.
-请说 -嗨莉安
- Yeah. - Hi, Leanne.
我本该帮朋友一个小忙
I was supposed to be doing a somewhat delicate favor for a friend.
我需要找一个可靠的人
I need someone I can trust.
-你忙吗 -对不起
- Are you busy? - I'm sorry.
我正在干预事情呢
I'm at an intervention.
-什么 -别挂
- Excuse me? - Hold on.
好了婕拉
Okay, Jayla,
这就是你不玩抖音的结果让我暴躁易怒
this is how your absence from TikTok has affected me.
不是只有天主教♥徒♥才那样做吗
Isn't that for Catholics only?
临终的人还能意识到这个脑袋可真清楚
That's pretty lucid for someone on their death bed.
-啥事 -伙计你好
- Yeah. - Oh, hey, buddy.
我需要你帮我个大忙
I need a really big favor,
但你要保证小心负责
but I need you to promise to be responsible and discreet.
你找对人了
You came to the right place.
我的名字就叫负责
Responsibility is my middle name.
其实是坎贝尔
Actually, it's Campbell.
这上面写的是安德森
Says here it's Anderson.
抱歉长官给错了
Sorry, Officer. Gave you the wrong one.