完美和声

Perfect Harmony S01E05

Part 2 Nov. 20, 2019, 10:54 a.m.

你还是赶紧离开为好免得因此伤身
Might be best to leave, before it turns against you.
-我哪儿都不去 -我可以跟你慢慢耗
- I'm not going anywhere. - I can wait you out.
我还自带了口粮
I brought my own rations.
琴去世后你那个饥渴的教会一直
Your horned-up church has been sending me care packages
寄爱心包裹给我
ever since Jean died.
主赐予我们食物
The Lord provides.
看来赐的是黑巧克力不过人无完人嘛
Apparently dark chocolate, but nobody's perfect.
老天我真讨厌你咀嚼的声音
God, I hate the way you chew.
快点单身之夜即单身下午我们要迟到了
Hurry up! We'll be late for Singles Night/afternoon.
不错嘛我们快出发吧
Oh. Well, we better get going.
我们可不想晚到那个绝对不是黄♥片♥的活动
We don't wanna be late for whatever the opposite of porn is.
听我说如果我在月虹时让德韦恩误会了
Okay, listen. If I gave Dwayne the wrong idea at the Moonbow,
我得跟他明确表示
I need to send a clear signal that
我现在没兴趣重返情场
I am not interested in romantic involvement whatsoever.
我们需要一套能传达这个信息的衣服
We need an outfit that sends the right message.
你觉得这套衣服传达了什么信息
What do we think the message is we're sending here?
我另一辆车是头死鹿
我想打扮得火♥辣♥ 但不符合素食者德韦恩的喜好
I wanna be hot, but not hot to Dwayne, who's a vegan,
所以我穿了皮裙
so I'm wearing a leather skort
和这件德韦恩送给我的上衣
and this shirt that Wayne bought for me.
你看上去就像诱人的芝士薯条
You look like if cheese fries for the table were a person.
你看起来像...半价"出♥售♥"的妓♥女♥
You look like... a half-priced hooker.
现在我给人感觉是"那书呆是谁啊"
See, right now, it's like, "Who's that nerd?"
但如果我想撩男人就把眼镜摘掉
But when I wanna attract a guy, I take the glasses off...
华丽变身
And boom.
《风月俏佳人》那套路已经过时了
The "Pretty Woman" montage is over.
-我帮你选衣服 -那最好了
- I'm picking your outfit. - That's a good plan.
查伯兰兹2号♥第一教堂
单身之夜右划选择主
好我听见大巴来了
All right, I hear the bus coming.
快跑吧哥们
Go long, man.
不对搞错了只是辆皮卡
Oh, nope, false alarm. It's just a pickup truck.
-快回来 -韦恩你来得真早
- Come on back. - Wayne, you're here early!
如果人人像你这么敞开心怀积极参与
If everyone has your open-hearted enthusiasm,
今晚绝对会促成很多对佳偶
this night is gonna definitely end in a love connection.
你还带了卡什来参加成人活动
And you brought Cash to an adults-only event.
是啊妞看到单身爸爸就流口水
Oh, yeah. Chicks friggin' salivate over single dads,
等她们一到
and when they show up,
就会看到我正投出一记如巧克力般完美的
they're gonna see me mid-throw in an idyllic Toblerone
父子温情时刻
of father-son bonding.
我脚很疼
My feet hurt, man.
不会再弄错了我保证
Hey, no more false alarms, I promise.
好这次是真的听到了
Oh. All right, no, I hear it for sure.
飞跑模式走起
Fly pattern--go.
哥们真对不起我说谎了
Man, I'm really sorry, but I lied.
快回来吧
Come on back.
-她们到了 -什么
- Oh! Here they are. - What?
车从哪冒出来的
Where did it come from?
计划有变儿子
Change of plans, man.
我就改成揉乱你头毛吧
I'm just gonna tussle your hair instead.
-我一头汗呢 -老天不是吧
- I'm sweaty. - Oh, God, man--what...
你才跑了两趟怎么搞的
you only ran twice. What in the world?
卡什等等卡什什么
Cash? Wait--Cash, what?
记住拉链拉多高至关重要
Now remember, zipper placement is crucial.
以下两种是有本质区别的
There's a distinct line between...
这是"我这身底下什么都没穿"
"I'm not wearing anything under this," and,
而这是"我要求很高"
"I'm with maintenance."
进去吧
Mmm--here we go.
你没问题的
You got this.
直接说清楚他能承受
Be direct. He can take it.
他是成年人了还是个一人顶俩的大块头
He's a grown man. He's sort of two grown men.
-连衣裤很好看 -你嘴太甜了
- Nice jumpsuit. - You're too sweet.
跟我的咖啡一样
Just like my coffee.
你知道夏威夷
Did you know Hawaii
是全美咖啡产量最大的地区吗
grows the most coffee in the United States?
真奇怪
Which is weird,
因为我以前总是联想到菠萝
'cause I always associate it with pineapples
和弹尤克里里的大胖子
and overweight guys playing the ukulele,
但那其实是刻板印象
but actually that's stereotyping,
就像人们以为肯塔基州所有人
just like thinking how everybody in Kentucky
都会养赛马或跟表亲结婚
owns a racehorse or marries their cousin,
这其实表明人们不了解
which actually shows a true lack of understanding
养马费用有多高昂
about how expensive it is to board a horse,
不过喷子总好胡乱指责
but haters gonna hate.
我失陪一下
Would you excuse me?
我还真不知道
I did not know that.
滴答滴答
Tick tock, tick tock.
德国虽然有诸多缺点
You know, for all of Germany's shortcomings,
但他们制♥造♥的钟真是一绝
they really make a hell of a clock.
好了我受够了我要走了
All right, that's it. I'm leaving.
我真心以为你会撑更久
I really thought you'd last longer
才举白旗投降呢
before waving your little white flag.
不你赢了现在你是船长了
No, you win. You're the captain now.
你是英雄
You are the hero.
尊重
亚瑟我就知道你会来
Arthur, I knew you'd come!
你内心的光明战胜了黑暗
The light in your heart outshines the darkness.
我受够了在家里听难听的音乐
I got tired of sitting at home listening to crap music,
所以就想来陆地上碰碰运气
so I thought I'd try it on dry land.
我们的姐妹教会带了他们自己的
Our sister church brought their very own
宗教主题DJ
religious-themed discing jockey.
她正在放曲风叫"浩室赞美诗"的音乐
She's spinning something called "House Hymns."
她的艺名叫WWDJ
Her stage name is WWDJ.
那是什么意思 "DJ会干嘛"吗
What does that even mean? "What would disc jockey?"
这里有没人的地方吗
Is there a place where people aren't?
有啊我带你过去
Yeah! Let me join you.
对我们分手以后
Yeah, so, uh, ever since we split up,
我一直忙着照顾我儿子卡什
I've just been all about taking care of my son, Cash.
这可不是件容易的差事
It's the, uh, it's the toughest job you'll ever love.
-那个是你儿子吧 -是他
- Oh, is that him? - Hey.
是他
Uh, yeah.
不好意思失陪一下
Hey, will you excuse me for one second?
我想这是他对音乐的过敏反应
Uh, I think he's having an allergic reaction to music.
卡什你在做什么
Hey, Cash. What are you doing?
努力让她知道我对她有兴趣
Trying to let her know I'm interested.
伙计不对不对不对
Oh, dude, no, no, no, no.
对付那样的姑娘
See, the trick with girls like that
秘诀在于让她们以为你不感兴趣
is you gotta let 'em know that you ain't interested, okay?
最好的做法是
Your best bet is to, like,
在她面前亲其他女孩或直接走人
kiss some other girl in front of her, or just leave.
因为那样能清楚地表达出你的想法
'Cause that'll send a pretty clear message.
上一次我听你的意见后
Last time I took advice from you...
整个学校的人都得了虱子
Our whole school got lice.
至少你还听我的意见儿子
At least you were listening to me, son.
妹子我可是太嫉妒你了
Boy, am I jealous of you.
全场最性感的人盯着你不放
The hottest guy in the whole place can't stop staring at you.
德韦恩吗我们只是好朋友
Oh, Dwayne? We're just good friends.
其实更像是兄妹
Well, actually, more like brother and sister,
因为兄妹不会亲嘴
'cause they don't ever kiss.
不会希望永远不会
Oh, no, hopefully never.
其实你也许跟他是绝配
Actually, you might be perfect for him.
你不了解我那
You don't know anything about me, so...
-你叫什么名字 -乔治娅
- Uh, what's your name? - Georgia.
他喜欢乔治亚州
He loves Georgia!
德韦恩
Dwayne!
猜猜看谁的名字跟你最喜欢的州一样
Guess who has the same name as your favorite state?
你名字叫启蒙运动
What--your name is Enlightenment?
真幽默不我叫乔治娅
Oh, what a fun guess. No, I'm Georgia.
-乔治娅 -是的
- Georgia? - Oh. Yeah.
大多数人有个当教授的女婿
Yeah, most people would be delighted
高兴还来不及呢
to have a professor for a son-in-law.
前教授
Ex-professor.