梅尔罗斯

暗示自己就能做到 暗示自己
Fake it to make it, man. Fake it to make it.
操
Fuck!
帕特里克
Patrick!
我在找你
I was looking for you.
-他们要把我赶走了 -真的
- They're throwing me out. - Really?
他们说我是个 破坏分子
They say I'm a... disruptive influence.
我不做贡献
I don't contribute.
我当然不做什么贡献 我抑郁啊
Of course I don't fucking contribute, I'm depressed!
操 我恨这该死的地方
Fuck, I hate this fucking place!
-丽贝卡 -我不能回我父母家
- Rebecca... - I can't go back to my parents.
这是我姐姐的地址
This is my sister's address.
她不在家 所以...我一个人住
She's away, so... I'll be there alone.
欧文小姐 请马上过来
Miss Owen, now, please.
来找我
Come and find me.
干得好 你回来了
Well done. You came back.
我还是想走
I still want to leave.
想和那边那个服务员一起走
I want to leave with that waitress over there.
天啊 瞧瞧她
Christ, look at her.
你觉得如果我告诉她这是我母亲的葬礼
Do you think if I told her it was my mother's funeral
我需要振作起来
and I needed cheering up--
她可能会拯救你
She might be the one to save you?
值得一试
It's worth a try.
帕特里克 原来弗勒尔是你母亲的
Patrick, it turns out Fleur is an old friend
-一位故友 -是的 其实我们见过
- of your mother's. - Yes, actually, we've met before.
-你母亲救过我的命 -真的
- Your mother saved my life. - Really?
她给了我一份她开的慈善商店的工作
She gave me a job in one of the charity shops she ran.
就是在那里 我发作过一次
And that is where I had one of my episodes.
那天早上我们进了一件皮毛大衣
We'd had a fur coat in that morning.
那是一件非常漂亮的貂皮大衣
It was an amazing sable coat.
我穿上大衣 掏空了钱匣子 关了店铺
And I put it on, emptied the till, shut the shop,
叫了一辆出租 我说
hailed a cab and I said,
"带我去丽兹酒店"
"Take me to The Ritz!"
我坐在酒店大厅喝香槟鸡尾酒
And I sat in the Palm Court drinking champagne cocktails
逮谁跟谁聊天
and talking to anyone who would listen.
最终有人找来了警♥察♥
And eventually the police were summoned,
我没人可找 只能打给你母亲
and I had no one to call on but your mother.
我保证我以后绝不再犯了
And I promised I'd never do it again.
我确实又犯了
I mean, I did.
很多很多次
Many, many times.
但你应该为她感到非常骄傲
But you should be very proud of her.
她做了许多真正的好事
She did an enormous amount of practical good.
她改变了无数人的生命
And she's touched hundreds of lives.
你能告诉我真好 谢谢
Very good of you to let me know. Thank you.
-那你是吗 -什么
- So... Do you? - Do I what?
你为你母亲感到骄傲吗
Do you feel proud of your mother?
-我真的不确定 -你不确定
- I'm really not sure. - You're not sure?
你还不如我孩子
Well, you're worse than my children.
-抱歉 我得去看看别人了 -真是混♥蛋♥
- Sorry, I really ought to circulate. - Absolute bastards.
你们都是
All of you...
那个疯子说了什么
So what did the lunatic have to say?
她说某人的生命有何意义
She suggested there's no easy conclusion
很难轻易得出结论
about what someone's life means.
你可以总结一下这对你有何意义
You can come to a conclusion about what it means to you.
其实我对我父母的感情都没法下定论
Actually, I feel inconclusive about both my parents.
听起来很心累
Sounds exhausting.
单纯厌恶他们俩不会更容易吗
Isn't it easier just to loathe their guts?
是 我试过恨我爸
Yes, I tried that with my father.
没什么用
No good.
事实上 我内心是五味杂陈
The truth is I feel everything:
轻蔑 遗憾 暴怒 恐惧
contempt, pity, rage, terror...
还有亲切
and tenderness.
亲切
Tenderness?
我想到他从前有多不开心 他们俩都是
At the thought of how unhappy he was, they both were.
当然 之后我想起我自己也有儿子
And then of course I remember I have sons of my own
那种憎恶之情又席卷而来
and the loathing floods back.
我讨厌丧亲之痛 把我的眼线都弄花了
Well, I hate bereavement. It plays havoc with your eyeliner.
没想到我母亲对你这么重要
I didn't realize my mother meant so much.
这跟她没什么关系
Oh, it's nothing to do with her.
只是参加葬礼或是观看荒唐的电影时
It's just the way tears spring on you,
人们哭起来总是毫不吝惜
at a funeral or a silly film.
我想哭不是因为具体的诱因
Not brought on by the thing that triggers them,
只是广义的悲伤
just from a generalized sadness, I suppose.
有时诱因和悲伤是一回事
Sometimes the trigger and the sadness are the same thing.
有时吧
Occasionally.
天啊 我真是好奇
Oh, Christ, I wonder what it'd be like
对某件事有无条件的反应是什么样子
to have an unconditioned response about something,
对任何事都是 不带有讽刺和冷漠
anything, without irony and detachment,
只是发自肺腑 去感受某件事
just to be spontaneous, to feel something--
你问我可没用
Well, it's no use asking me.
确实
No.
抱歉 你不能在这里抽烟
Sorry, erm... you can't actually smoke out here.
真的吗 我不知道
Really? I didn't know.
说来有趣 因为这里是室外
It's funny, because it is outside.
严格来说这里还是俱乐部的一部分
It's technically still part of the club,
而整个俱乐部都是禁烟的
and er...there's no smoking anywhere in the club.
所以
So...
那我最好还是把烟掐了
Well, I'd better put it out, then.
不 让我来吧
No, let me.
-真是抱歉 -没关系
- I'm so sorry about that. - It's okay.
我习惯了
I'm used to it.
不好意思 打扰下
Excuse me? Hello. Sorry.
我在想...我能不能...
I just... I wondered if I could erm...
要茶还是咖啡
Tea or coffee?
其实不是要喝的 是别的东西
Actually, no, it's something else.
我只是... 能不能给我你的电♥话♥号♥码
I just... Would you mind... if I took your number?
如果你想做些疯狂的事
就来伦敦达拉斯街找我
-天啊 -你好
- Oh, Christ. - Hello.
你要走了吗
Are you leaving?
我得说 我不嫉妒你
Oh, I must say, I don't envy you.
我喜欢这里 能让我远离我可恶的孩子们
I love it here. It gets me away from my awful children.
那些小混♥蛋♥ 我厌恶他们
The little shits. I loathe them.
你自己有孩子吗
Do you have children yourself?
真是抱歉 我正想...
Actually, I'm sorry, I'm trying to...
要是建议只能说一个词 那就是
Well, if I have one word of advice, it's this.
阿米替林
Amitriptyline.
我唯一开心的时候就是吃这药的时候
The only time I've ever been happy was on it,
但那些混♥蛋♥就是不给我药吃
but these bastards won't give me any.
问题是 我在努力戒毒
The thing is, I'm trying not to take anything, so...
别傻了 这是最神奇的药
Don't be ridiculous. It's the most marvelous drug.
阿米替林
Amitriptyline!
我还以为会有更多人来 她生前很受爱戴
I'd expected more people. She was very well-loved.
她不再说话时就与那些人失去联♥系♥了
Well, she lost touch with people when she stopped speaking.
这对她来说一定糟糕透了
It must have been terrible for her,
想说的话说不出口
not to be able to say what she wanted to,
尤其是对帕特里克
especially to Patrick.
所以我们都必须卸下心防
That's why we must all resolve to drop our defenses
直言心中所想 省得留有遗憾
and say what we feel, while we can.
-妈妈 -而这时英国人通常就会说
- Mummy! - And then at this point the English usually say,
"这真是个愉快的话题"
"Well, this is a cheerful subject!"
看得出来你们俩还整天黏在一起
I see you two are still glued to each other.
没人能够
Well, no one can hope to
像你这么彻底地忽视自己的孩子
ignore their children as completely as you did.
玛丽
Mary!
亲爱的 你去找罗伯特吧
You go and find Robert, darling.
我们一直都有沟通
We always communicated!
你还记得你打电♥话♥到我学校
Do you remember what you said to me
告诉我爸爸死了的时候 你说了什么吗
when you telephoned me at school to say Daddy had died?
-我说了我感觉有多糟糕 -你说"振作点"
- Well, I said how awful it was. - "Cheer up," You said.
"振作点" 你那时就完全不了解我
"Cheer up"! You never had any idea who I was then
到现在还是不了解
and you still don't now.