梅尔罗斯

爸爸
Daddy?
你现在遭受的是震颤性谵妄
You're undergoing delirium tremens.
你知道那是什么吗 梅尔罗斯先生
Do you know what that is, Mr. Melrose?
好像听说过
It...rings a bell.
那你应该知道会怎么样
Then you'll know what to expect.
发抖 出汗
Shaking, sweating.
可能还有一些幻觉
There may be some hallucinations.
我们会给你一些药物稳定你的心率
We'll get you something to stabilize your heart,
让你停止痉挛
stop you having seizures.
-我要死了 -你不会死
- I'm going to die. - You are not going to die.
没关系 我想死
I don't mind. I want to die.
我想死 我想死
I want to die, I want to die.
我想死
I want to die.
天啊 这就是那个"精神工具箱"
Oh, Christ. It's the Spiritual Tool Box.
多适合埃莉诺啊
What a great choice for Eleanor.
也让人想起她与非裔美国人社群的
And a fitting reminder, too, of her incredibly strong connection
强烈联♥系♥
with the African-American people.
在场的所有人今天都将知道她是怎样的人
All of you will have known Eleanor here today
如果我眼中的埃莉诺和你的不一样
and...if my Eleanor... is not yours
那么 我只能说
then, all I can say is...
接受她
..Let her in.
接受她吧
Let her in.
我第一次见埃莉诺是在
I first met Eleanor when a group of us
我们一群都柏林女性手鼓治疗团的团员
from the Dublin Women's Healing Drum Circle
旅行到她在普罗旺斯的家中
traveled down to her wonderful house in Provence,
在场很多人都熟知那里
which many of you know well.
当我们一到
When we arrived
就看到她坐在露台上
we saw her sitting on the wall of the terrace,
双手放在大腿下
hands tucked under her thighs,
像个孤单的孩童一样环顾着世界
looking for all the world like a lonely young child,
梦想着未来
dreaming of the future.
很快 她挥开双臂欢迎我们
Soon she had flung wide her arms to welcome us,
但我永远忘不了
but I never forgot
见她第一面时 她那孩子般的纯真
that first impression of her child-like innocence...
我永远忘不了他是大卫的孩子
I can never forget he's David's son.
他会让你想起大卫吗
Does he remind you of him?
偶尔 当他生气或是挖苦别人的时候
In flashes... when he's angry or sarcastic.
谢天谢地 那种情形现在越来越少了
Which thankfully is less often now.
他会跟你谈起他父亲吗
Does he talk to you about him?
我觉得他父亲现在没那么让他不安了
I don't think his father haunts him the way he once did.
"不安"
"Haunts".
我要抓到你
I'm gonna catch you.
我能私下给你看点东西吗
May I show you something, in private?
我会收到大量的信件
I get an awful lot of letters,
通常是人们请求援助
usually people asking for a helping hand.
如果我能帮就帮 但这封不一样
And I give it if I can, but... this is something different.
她小时候在这待过
She stayed here as a child.
她看上去备受创伤
She seems...deeply damaged.
对
Yes.
显然她生活得很不快乐
I mean, clearly she's a very unhappy woman -
酗酒 抑郁
the alcohol, the depression.
但说真的 给我寄这种东西
But, honestly, to lay this at my door.
-你记得她吗 -当然
- Do you remember her? - Of course!
那一家人很有风度
The family were charming.
她当时又开朗 又快乐
She was a bright and happy little girl.
大卫有时会有点严厉 但孩子们是安全的
David could be harsh, but the children were always safe.
他跟孩子更处得来 甚至很爱玩
He was better with children, playful even,
只要他们不吵到他
as long as they weren't too noisy.
我只知道他们一家看上去很幸福
All I know is the family seemed very happy.
他们告诉我他们玩得很开心
They... They told me they'd had a lovely time.
她说你丈夫性侵她
She says your husband interfered with her.
怎么可能
But how could he?
那简直难以置信
I mean, it was inconceivable
真的 难以置信[不可受孕]
literally, inconceivable.
-没怀疑过 -没
- No suspicions? - No.
没征兆
No signs?
完全没有 所以我才这么生气
None at all. And that's what makes me so angry.
"我原谅你"
"I forgive you."
她原谅我没保护她 但我怎么保护
She forgives me for not protecting her, but how could I?
保护她什么
From what?
我都不知道有这种行为
I mean, this is behavior I didn't even know existed.
来了
Here we go.
这件事你一个字也不许提
You mustn't mention a word of this.
这只会让他不安
It will only unsettle him...
这些关于...
all this talk of...
责怪和原谅的谈话
blame and forgiveness.
我知道他父亲有时候很霸道
I know what a tyrant his father could be,
但我尽了最大努力
but I did my best -
竭尽所能 来保护我们的孩子
my very, very best to protect our son.
你醒着吗
Are you awake?
我们刚见面时 你告诉我的一些事
The things...you told me, when we met.
关于你父亲的
About your father.
-怎么提起这事了 -我们得再谈一次
- What's brought this on? - We have to talk about them again.
我觉得我没什么要补充的了...
Well, I don't think I have anything further to add so...
我觉得你该告诉你母亲
I think... you should tell your mother.
对不起 我知道这很艰难
I'm sorry, I know it's hard.
我知道你不想
I know you don't want to.
-那为什么 -因为...
- Well, why then? - Because...
她不能再继续逃避
She can't keep hiding.
"在我小时候
"When I was a child
我像孩子一样讲话
I spake as a child.
像孩子一样理解事物
I understood as a child.
当我长大成人
When I became a man,
我放弃那些小孩的举动
I put away childish things.
现在 我隐约透过玻璃观看
For now I see through a glass, darkly.
然而那时则是面对面 我多少懂了..."
But then, face to face, now I know in part..."
天啊 又是这老一套
Christ, not this old chestnut.
下一个是谁
Who's on next?
-帕特里克 -"现在我信守信仰
- Patrick. - "..And now abideth faith,
希望和爱
hope, love, these three.
但这三样中最重要的 是爱"
But the greatest of these... is love."
这里很美
Lovely spot.
确实
It is.
-我能一起吗 -来吧
- Mind if I join? - Please.
我一直寻找合适的表达
I've been trying out different combinations of words,
它们都不太合适
and none of them are right,
或许我该不多想 应该直接说出来
so perhaps if I don't think too much and just come out with it.
我们以前来这的时候...
When we were here...
在我小时候 我们常常来这里...
..When I was a child, and we used to come here...
在那之后的几年...
and for some years afterwards...
父亲会...
..Father used...
他会强♥奸♥我
..He used to rape me.
还有我
Me too.
还有我
Me too.
我没有准备演讲稿
I... I haven't prepared a speech.
你们也将会看出来
As you'll see.
今天到场的很多人都谈到了我母亲的性格纯真
A lot has been said today about my mother's innocence,
还有她孩子般的心地...
and how child-like she...
我只知道在我小时候...
All I know is that when I was a child...
当我父亲...
..When my father was...
她为什么没有...
Why didn't she...
她为什么没能... 为什么没能...
Why... Why couldn't... Why couldn't she...
对不起 对不起 我不行...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I can't...
我做不到 我做不到
I can't do this...I can't!
我发誓 要是我再听到有人跟我说
I swear, if I hear one more person
她有多天真无辜...
telling me how innocent she was--
她或许不无辜
She might not have been,
-但现在不能感情用事 -玛丽 别
- but even so it's an emotional time-- - Please, Mary, no.
不不不 闭嘴 这无关悲痛或哀悼
No, no, no. Stop! This is not grief or mourning.
这是愤怒 我心中燃烧着怒火
This is rage, my heart is racing with it.