现代爱情

Modern Love S01E05

Part 1 Feb. 7, 2020, 1:11 p.m.

现代爱情
第一季第五集
-脸书还是推特 -慢着该我问了
- Facebook or Twitter? - Wait, it's my turn.
《星际迷航》还是《星球大战》
Star Trek or Star Wars?
抱歉《星球大战》
Sorry. Star Wars.
好吧脸书
Okay. And Facebook.
印第安纳·琼斯还是...
Indiana Jones or...
拜托别说卢克·天行者
Oh, please don't say Luke Skywalker.
我刚想说
I wasn't gonna.
印第安纳·琼斯还是葛蕾丝·琼斯
Indiana Jones or Grace Jones?
当然是葛蕾丝了不起的葛蕾丝
Grace, of course. Amazing Grace.
-欢迎 -谢谢
- Welcome. - Thank you.
-你是我家第一个客人 -荣幸至极
- You're my first guest. - I'm honored.
-带我转转 -床在这边
- Give me the tour? - Bed's going here.
休闲区
Lounge area.
-还有... 厨房♥ -抱歉
- And... kitchen. - Sorry.
卧室在那边
Bathroom's through there.
好吧租这么贵的房♥子图啥
Okay. And all that for what?
一万五一个月是吧
You said $2,200 a month?
生当尽欢
What a time to be alive.
-喝一杯吗 -好啊
- Drinks? - Yeah. Absolutely.
不过真的很舒适我喜欢
It's really cozy, though. I like it.
而且再也没有室友了
Plus, no more roommates.
你真的很成熟
You're like a real adult person.
我成熟到连个固定睡觉时间都没有
I'm so grown-up I don't even have a bedtime.
有什么喝的
So what do you got?
有樱桃白兰地
I got cherry brandy.
行
Okay.
-辣椒伏特加 -口味清奇
- Chilli vodka. - Bizarre.
以前收到的礼物
Old gifts.
还有琴酒和... 苦艾酒
Oh, I have gin and... vermouth.
-调马丁尼酒 -同意
- Martinis? - Approved.
完美
Perfect.
-用橄榄还是洋葱 -橄榄
- Olives or onions? - Olives.
共和党还是民♥主♥党
Red state or blue?
最好还是不要扯到政♥治♥吧
Oh. Eh, let's maybe stay off politics.
不行你得选民♥主♥党
No. Rule is you got to answer.
我家乡是亲共和党州
Well, uh, I'm from a red state,
不过我住在亲民♥主♥党州
but I live in a blue one,
所以我大概是横跨在两种政见之间
so I kind of straddle the political divide.
像温和的自♥由♥党那样吗
Like a good libertarian?
或者说是迷糊党
Or a very confused person.
怎么了
What?
你体会过搬到一个新地方
You know when you move into a place
畅想精彩新生活的感觉吗
and you visualize this whole new amazing life for yourself?
嗯
Yeah.
我现在差不多就是这样
Well, this looks pretty close.
别等下我要拍下来发照片
Oh, no, wait. I'm posting this.
不是吧
Seriously?
不
Oh, no.
-我只是... -什么
- I was just... - What?
收拾
Tidying.
我闲得慌
I have no game.
也许你这闲得慌玩法才是最有意思的玩法
Maybe your no-game game is the most cunning game of all.
我听说过闲得慌玩法
Yeah, I've heard of the no-game game.
不是我这情况
That's not what I have.
我相信你
I actually believe you.
我们能忘记这事吗
Can we just forget that that happened?
-好没问题 -好
- Okay. Sure. - Okay.
给你
Here.
敬你的精彩新生活
To your new amazing life.
现在就这样像块生肉似的
Well, now it's just lying there on the floor
摊在地板上了
like a piece of raw meat.
是啊
Pretty much.
雅斯敏我... 我真的没有想到
Yasmine, I just- - I really had no expectation that this...
你今晚会跟我回家
would happen tonight.
我已经跟你回来了
Well, it's happening.
可是...
But there's...
我现在真的撩不下去了
literally no way I can make a move now.
好吧
Fine.
脱上面还是脱下面
Topless or bottomless?
脱上面
Topless.
不等等我以为是你脱
Oh, no. Wait, I thought that you meant on you.
你想改答案吗
Oh, you want to change your answer?
好吧
Okay.
四角裤还是三角裤
Boxers or briefs?
我不记得了
I can't remember.
我一会儿就回来好吧
I'll be right back. Okay?
抱歉还没装窗帘
Sorry, no curtains yet.
两分钟内你还不回来
If you're not back in two minutes,
我就自己搞了
I'm gonna get started on my own.
不是吧
Really?
这是我最勾人的姿态
This is me at my most inviting.
-还需努力 -是吗
- It might need some work. - Oh, yeah?
这样呢
Well, how about this?
你没事吧
Are you okay?
别...
Oh. Don't...
别拔
Don't.
叫救护车
Call 911.
该死
Shit.
对请叫辆救护车来他手臂伤得很重
Yes, ambulance, please. He's cut his arm badly.
遍地是血
There's lots of blood everywhere.
好吧地址
Okay. Ad-Address.
东10街507号♥ 1C公♥寓♥
507 East 10th Street, Apartment 1C.
听清楚了吗
Did you hear that?
很好
Okay, perfect.
-他们正在赶过来 -好
- They're on their way. - Okay.
医院里一支现实的小插曲
好吧
Okay.
帮我穿下裤子还没穿上去
Um, help me with these. They're still halfway down.
或者说是没脱下来
Or maybe they're halfway up.
来
There you go.
满杯还是空杯
Glass half full or glass half empty?
稍后再玩这个游戏好吗
Let's play this game later, yeah?
-好吧 -好
- Okay. - Okay.
-雅斯敏 -怎么了
- Yasmine. - What?
裙子
Dress.
-裹条浴巾 -对
- Towel. - Yes.
好了
Okay.
不不不把浴巾给我
No. No, no, no. Give me the towel.
去吧
Go.
这不是我第一次
You know, this isn't the first time
约会约进医院
that a date ended in the hospital.
我有次吃了没熟的鸡肉
I once had some undercooked chicken
产生了幻觉并烧到了40度
that gave me hallucinations and a temperature of 104.
你应该放松点
You should be really relaxed about all this.
我放松着呢
I am.
-你几岁了 -31岁
- How old are you? - I'm 31.
33岁抱歉不知道我刚刚为什么要撒谎
33. I'm sorry. I don't know why I lied just then.
我知道
I do.
-你有服用什么药物吗 -有
- Are you on any medication? - Yeah.
氯安定治疗焦虑的
Klonopin. For anxiety.
还有抗抑郁症药物
And antidepressants.
好
Okay.
他是你的什么男朋友吗
Is he your... what? Boyfriend?
朋友
Uh, friend.
我们才约会第二次
It's our second date.
我没有自残嗜好这不是性♥爱♥受的伤
I'm not a cutter, by the way. This isn't a sex injury.
至少不是变♥态♥的那种
I mean, not a weird one.
-你怎么还在说话罗伯 -我也不知道
- Hey, why are you still talking, Rob? - I don't know.
-有过敏吗 -没有
- Any allergies? - No.
-上次吃饭是什么时候 -四五个小时前吧